Reason to Live II
Chapter 5: Keys and Locks
(Edward's P.O.V)
April 25th,
Roma Termini, Rome
1428 hrs
Someone told me once that a human's mind is like a database. It stores away memories; both good and bad. They store it away, and someday it will be automatically retrieved. Conditioning and Brainwashing processes in the Social Welfare Agency is like the lock; an unbreakable lock or a pass-code that secures the data and store it away without having the fear of it being retrieved by the user. However, like any locks or security programs there's always one thing that comes along with it: the key. The only tool that is capable on opening the lock and break the security program. But not just any key; it needs the right key/s to open it. The only thing that remain…
…is to find it.
I have been working with the SWA for more than four months now, closing on the fifth. Three months, not knowing who I was before and what I do. Not knowing how I managed to end up as part of the SWA, and why am I doing this. All I remember is the time when I first woke up from whatever thing that had happened to me. Then there were faces…I could probably name a few: Doctor Bianchi, José, Jean, and lastly; Sylvia, my handler. Then there it was: a weird, uncanny feeling around her that could be described as a crush. I don't know her, and I don't even remember if I ever met her. So what is this feeling? I mean, that's the first time I met her! Soon afterwards, she starts shoving me with the M16A3 Assault Rifle which I knew thanks to Hollywood junks.
…then again, how did I know it was the M16A3 when there are several variants?
I'm a war-movie junkie. For the past three months, I've been constantly visiting Frederick's room and borrow his PC when he's on the Firing range and obstacle course or when he's next door chatting with Triela and her friends. There, I spent my hours watching war movies Frederick stores. I don't know where the hell did he acquire those, but he did told me that by 'persuading' his supervisor for some lunch money during missions helped him acquire those. And I understand why in the aftermath of our recent operation. Don't know how he managed to 'persuade' Hillshire though.
Anyways, I'm a war-movie junkie. Spending my hours in front of Frederick's PC watching various movies he bought. That's how I got to know the M1A1 Thompson after this war movie about a squad saving one damn Private. Hell, they made fun of the Airborne Division. Then it came to my sense after I watched a movie about the Vietnam War. The M16 first came into service in the Vietnam War with its triangular fore grip. Then again, it was called the M16. That is all. They never mentioned their M16s in another movie about U.S Marines trapped in Somalia where a Black Hawk is shot-down by hostile forces…
…so how did I managed knowing the weapon without being able to differ its variants?
"It was all due to conditioning…" he said one day "Conditioning teaches you almost everything you should know during your slumber."
It was all due to conditioning. Then I asked him how did he knew all this information, and where did he get it. It's simple:
"I have never taken any conditioning." …is his answer
That's how he's able to pick weapons freely at the very start of his days. That's how he's able to work alone without the assistance and/or supervision of a handler. That's how he always grunts and groans when he got shot stating that 'it lasts longer than usual', while I felt it lightly and momentarily before it disappears. That's what he meant when he said that 'his handler earned his respect'. And that's how he's able to find affection towards one of his peers. Yes...his conditioning is way below minimum. As for me, my conditioning is slightly below minimum. That explains my weapon's taste, and how I managed to find affection towards Petrushka.
Conditioning is a drug that acts as a lock and a virus in the human mind which alters one's conscious…
Then…who am I? People say I think too much. And as such, this is one of my thoughts when I'm training with him.
"Why do we kill Padanias? He's just another guy like you and me, and hey, he probably has someone he cared for and he's fighting for. Then again, he might have something he believed in like you and me. He could be religious too. So if I let him live and witness the change of the world, wouldn't he and his friends be happy for it? But then again, he might show up another day with more of his friends and kill the rest of my colleagues. Then again, he could die the next day in the hands of my friends. That doesn't change the fact that he'll die one day. And besides, isn't it better for him to die and for me to live? Now why do we kill Padanias…?"
And later, he answers with a simple answer:
"Gee, I don't know. You're having fun?"
"Quiet often."
"Then that's your answer."
So who am I? Apparently, the answer never came to me…
…or so I thought
The answer came. Though unnoticeable, it came to me pieces by pieces, bit by bit as it forms what I was looking for: the key. The key…the password that unlocks the security console or lock that had sealed my memories for three months. Unraveling those takes time, and I knew the time is close. The key to memories are different. You can't find them in your home, and you won't lose it once you find it. Others can find it, but others can't take it. It doesn't come in a shape of a solid object, but in a form you can't fit in your pocket. But once you find it…
…you knew you've used it.
It's a shocking experience. Sometimes it follows with headaches and mental breakdowns. You knew you had it coming, and you knew you never wish you remember them. But once you do…you knew the truth that was hidden between the lies. And you knew this is what you want from the start. I can never thank him enough for finding the key brought me to it…
Just like a puzzle, it comes in pieces. The first piece of my key comes with the word and the figure 'father'. Yes…'Father'… a male parent. It came to me one day when I decided to join him to visit Rome's cemetery on the 13th of April…thirteen….how ironic. I didn't understand a thing at first when he stood there, looking at the cross-shaped tombstone with eyes absorbed by the silence.
R.I.P
Here lies,
Koch Bauer
A friend, a father, and a mentor
That's what's written. I never knew who it was until I have the courage to ask a few minutes later. He didn't answer, but he opened up the next minute with Triela comforting him while linking arms as much as she can. 'He was just another person in life that came to mine' is his first answer 'He is someone I view as a teacher and a friend. But most of all, he is the person I call father.' Then it hit me as images of someone I recognized starts appearing in flashes. Sadly, I never knew who…
The second piece came as a shock during my dates with Petrushka. I had never expected it would come from her until we had that conversation during one of our visits to our all too familiar Ice Cream Café. It is then when I engage her with some questions; all regarding our very own existence and purpose in the Agency. She didn't know, and she didn't remember why she's here in the first place. However, she did manage to remember something that happened in her previous life…
…suicide
That's the only thing she remembered. Alessandro told her that she's involved in some incident, thus leading her to go for suicide. She never knew what incident it was that led her to suicide. However, she knew that something had happened to her; and that something led her here to the agency. But it doesn't matter. After the word 'suicide' slipped from her, the second key appeared to me out of the blue. Yes…'suicide'…being or performing a deliberate act/s resulting in the voluntary death of the person who does it. A surge of memories in a rather colored black and white format banged me in the head. Soon, I remember something…
I was falling…falling from a decent height …an Apartment…2nd floor probably. I don't know how long I was falling…nor do I remember how it feels. But for certain, I remember myself hitting the concrete pavement with a thud before everything turned black as red liquid starts flowing out around me. Why did I commit suicide? Again…why?
Finally, the third key came from him. It came from himself one afternoon, after our random conversations. Though at this point, I already had something in mind considering why I'm here. We were discussing about our kills and the amount of High-value victims beside Padania goons who were foolish enough to pop their heads out under intense fire. We're here discussing about valuable targets and their names.
After being sent on various missions, we were basically motivated under competition of who kill who and how many. Through my career and his', we've been engaged on various High Ranking targets, Padania supporters, as well as bombers and suspects with the assistance of Henrietta, Rico, Angelica, and both of our love ones; Triela and Petrushka. Most of the time we're engaged with heavy fire-fights and an all-out Heavy Assault on what we think as their small strongholds and strategic locations; as well as their illegal transactions of bombs, counterfeit money…you name it. But out of us all, we were the only ones competing for High Value targets like mercenaries.
"Why don't you go check your handler's computer Yank? Bet she's been keeping data about those High Value targets and the ones who took them out!" He said that day after provoking me in a time-trial run in the obstacle course. I was outmatched by him for 3 seconds
"Why can't I use your PC?" I asked to rather avoid my handler and her room
"Why? Eh…sorry Yank. Triela and I were planning to watch a movie late this afternoon."
"Great…"
"How's you and Petra? Going fine?"
And so that day, I decided I visit my handler's room before taking Petra out for another walk in Old Rome; Sylvia's driving by the way. The room, like any other handler's room was watched 24/7 by security cameras installed in and around the SWA Headquarters. But as far as I know, some handler tends to keep their room unlocked at all times.
…Sylvia's one of them
Her room is an average size. Book case which were filled with things that I don't even understand, a small oval mirror by the bed, a drawer full of clothes, an average sized bed, and a work table with a computer. Not wasting anytime, I search through the PC and thank God! She didn't even lock her computer with all sorts of gibberish mechanism and/or security consoles such as passwords. It didn't take long for me to find the wanted document…
…and it didn't take long for me to find the last key
Name: Cliff Michaels – Role: Padania supporter/ weapon dealer – Assassinated by: Frederick Heckler (Operative)/ Hillshire (Supervisor)
The profile of the victim is also provided
Cliff Michaels, 1957-2007.
A Padania funder, originated from California, U.S.A. Moved to Italy after losing his wife in divorce; taking with him his son, and his richest. From there, he work as a businessman, openly supporting and funding Padanias by selling various illegal weapons and arms shipments from his funded weapons dealer. After various successful attempts escaping police investigations and courted, he is handed over to the Social Welfare Agency for assassination. Section 2 sent fratello Alessandro/ Petrushka for further investigation on this character. On January 2nd, 2007, Single Operative Frederick Heckler, along with fratello Hillshire/Triela were sent to assassinate target at Hilton Hotel. Assassination attempt is successful, and data about illegal weapons and shipments, as well as the weapons dealer were acquired and proved correct. However, there is no sign of his son. Attempts on contacting him failed, thus giving a question mark on his where about.
Then, the last file in the folder reveals a photo of me and the old man. Behind it, it is written:
Lake Tahoe, Sierra Nevada, California,
January 3rd 2006 Fishing Trip w/ beloved Old Man and myself
Let's fish again sometime in the future, Old man!
Your son,
John Michael
With that, everything came into realization…
…and I knew why I was here in the first place
Yes…I was here because I committed suicide. Why did I commit suicide? Because someone killed my father-he killed my father. I don't want to believe it…but I do. My father has been the most important person to me, raising me since I was five left by my mother. He was the person there for me in my times…
…until he was taken away from me
Derived from confusion, I commit suicide after learning of my father's death the next day. I have no regrets back then; but I do have one thing in mind if I have a second chance to live: to avenge my father's death. The agency picked me up after surviving my suicide attempt and placed me with the carefree handler Sylvia. From then on, my life is changed…especially after I met him
Yes…he was my closest friend…
Yes…he has become someone who's more capable than my handler…
Yes…he is the person who given me a weapon
Yes…he is the person who taught me all these techniques and abilities
And he… is the person who killed my father
"OI! What are you doing standing there, Yank!? Let's get moving!"
He is Frederick; Frederick Heckler. The person who has changed my life completely…he is the person who brought me into this mess. He is the person who had given me a weapon I favor. He is the person who has become my mentor, the one who taught me his deadly Fast-Assault techniques. He is my closest friend, the one I can fully rely on and trust on. And yet…he is the one who killed my father. He is the one I sworn to after if I acquired a 2nd chance. He is the one I'm supposed to kill in the first place. He is my NEMESIS. And yet, he is the one who told me our mind is like a database. He is the one who had led me finding my keys...
He is the person who uncovered my memories...
and he...is going to DIE!
"I'm coming Frederick. Hold on a sec…" he stops and turns himself towards me with a gaze "…What?"
"That's the first time you called me by my name, Yank."
"There's always first time…Kraut. Always a first time…"
"Alright, let's move."
I remembered everything from the start of my career here. I remembered my purpose of surviving my own suicide attempt. And most of all, I remembered who I am…
My name is John Michael,
And I want…
REVENGE!