Author's Note-

sorry guys that i haven't updated recently but i had a majour writers block :( I just wanted this chapter to be perfect but sadly i have to admit it isn't the best it could be and i understand if you hate it... Well here it is

Please still READ! REVIEW! ENJOY! if you can...

Chapter 12-The Difficult choice

I open my eyes to be met with darkness; I have somehow made it back to my temporary bedroom. The last thing I remember is Rue, the girl from 11 that reminds me so much of Prim walking into the bathroom, without a word she sat down beside me and just took me into her arms. Knowing no words would subside the hurt I was feeling. She rubbed my back as I loudly sobbed into her lap. How long did I cry for? How did I get here? Was it all just a bad dream? Somehow the last one seems unlikely. I sit up and feel dizzy, making me clutch my head at the aching. There is a light knock on the door before it opens and light floods the door making me want to hide under my duvet. "How are you feeling?" pipes Effie. I just grunt in response. "Well dinner is ready, care to join us?" she smiles despite my rudeness which clearly annoys her. She extends her hand out to me, it is a simple gesture but the kindness behind it fills me with hope.

We walk quietly to dinner a millions thoughts rushing through my head as I think of seeing Peeta once again. I feel the need to be sick as the lump in my throat grows the closer we get. I hear the warmth of laughter coming from the dining room, His laugh, so perfect and musical…I stop dead in my tracks unable to move my feet the thought of seeing him after are fight terrifies me. I'm deep in thought when the haze of Effie's fingers clicking dawn on me, bursting through the wall between us.

"Katniss...Hello? Earth to katniss... you alright?" she asks, I want to scream at her for asking such an absurd question. 'Of course I'm fucking not okay! How I am possibly meant to face him? Are you seriously wearing that much crap in your hair that it's messed up your memory!' But I hold my tongue, no matter how pissed I am, I refuse to take it out on her. I realise I still haven't given her an answer as she stares at me with concern and pity. My eyes sting as the tears try to make reappearance.

"I...I...Can't do this" I'm visibly shaking, stuttering and fumbling over my words as they just barely make It out my mouth. I give an apologising look before turning on my heel and spiriting towards the roof. I burst through the doors at the top of the stairs and fall to my knees with exhaustion. I finally let the tears take over.

Peeta's POV-

I hear her coming down the hall with Effie; I brace myself for looking into her eyes full of despair and heartbreak. Why was I such a jerk before? I should have just talked it through with her. I can't even begin to imagine what is going through her head. The image of her curled in a ball, soundly sleeping in Rue's lap, flashes back sending a pang of guilt through me. Everyone at the table is laughing merrily; I decide to join in to make it look like I was listening.

Effie walks into the room her heels making a clink with every step on the whit polished tile floor. But where is Katniss? I crease my eyebrows in confusion. Effie seeing this whispers "Roof?" to me before shrugging and taking her seat at the table, she joins in the conversation easily. "Excuse me" I mumble before rising from the table and leaving in search for Katniss.

I check her room just in case but she isn't there, so Effie must have been right. I go to the roof and take a deep breath before opening the door. She doesn't turn round either not hearing me or just choosing to ignore me. She stands overlooking the capitol and cries quietly. I walk closer to her, she tenses and wipes viciously at her tears, and trying to cover the fact she has been crying.

Katniss's POV-

I turn around expecting Effie or maybe Cinna but instead I am met with bold blue eyes. A shiver runs through me as he rubs my arm for reassurance, like he had done so many times before. A feeling of wanting to throw myself into his arms washes over me but I resist it reminding myself that he is Not 'my Peeta', he is the one who has made me feel this way.

"Don't!" I put my arms up in between us not wanting him anywhere near me, let alone touching me.

"Katniss..." he replies, looks hurt and sympathy in his eyes that burn into me.

"No! Don't do that! You have no right after what you did!" I raise voice and pushing him further away in disgust.

He looks at the floor "please…I'm so..." I cut him off not wanting to hear it, anger raging through my veins.

"PEETA, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE CRAP! I shout, I turn to storm off, I'm seeing red I'm that angry. But he grabs my hand, his touch so reassuring, so comforting… I look from our hands up towards his face. Our eyes meet, I stare deeply into his eyes somehow looking for an answer or even a reason why he is acting the way he is.

"Why?" I say barely above a whisper but he hears, dropping our gaze feeling like I don't know whose eyes they belong to, his touch feeling weirdly alien to me, all of a sudden.

"Because I want to protect you, I love you Katniss, always!" I look once more into his beautiful sky blue eyes "I love you too but honestly I don't want you to protect me if it means I can't spend my last days with you"

I gently cup his face; they melt together like they were designed for one another. I lean up and lightly brush my lips against his warm, beetroot cheek before whispering "you have to choose" with I walk away and this time he doesn't stop me. I don't look back because seeing his face again will only make the tears I am trying to choke back, flow like rivers. The thought of losing him too horrific to think about, he is my everything and if he does decide to leave me, I will not make it through the first day.

Peeta's POV-

I watch her walk away the fire still burning where her soft lush lips touched my cheek. She walks through the doors and out of sight, possibly out of my life forever, if that's what I choose. But of course that isn't what I want, I love her so much, why can't she see that I am only trying to protect her? Why is she so damn oblivious and stubborn? Can't she see that I'm trying to tie off the loose ends as they say, to spare her the heart ache of watching me die? I can't even think about that, it hurts too much. Why have we been sent to such doom? The difficult choice of weather to let go of the only one I have loved or to be selfish and make her watch me die as I take my own life to save hers? If only I could hold her one last time in my arms, kiss her perfect lips and tell her everything she means to me. I don't want to die alone but I don't want to make her feel that kind of pain watching me die! Why can't there just be two victors?

Before I know it my feet are moving from underneath me. Running to her, running to the love of my life, my soul mate, my other half. It's like my feet have made up my mind for me. It's so obvious now, I can't live a day without her wonderful dimpled smile and those intoxicating liquid silver eyes. I'm in love with Katniss Everdeen and if I am going to die in that arena, I want my last moments to be with the girl I love.

I burst through her bedroom door and instantly our eyes meet silver colliding with blue. Her mouth opens as if to speak but I place my finger over them to silence her, no matter what she was trying to say this needed to be said first. I gently cup her face and she leans into it perfectly melting together like every part of our bodies when they meet. I stare intensely into her eyes, with nothing but pure love.

"Katniss, I can't live without you! You're my everything! I promise to stay by your side, through thick and thin because I will always love you! Forever and always" I look into straight into her eye, they start to glass over with tears. Did I do something wrong? The last spark of my hope burns out, her lips move but no words come out, she looks like she wants to say something but just can't seem to find the right words. I drop my gaze from hers, I was clearly too late for her forgiveness, then she finally speaks up before crashing her lips into mine.

she says "Forever & Always".

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