Chapter 4
Merlin and Arthur turned down the road toward Camelot. They traveled for hours without a word. Arthur was lost in his thoughts and Merlin was wondering how he could help his King through this. They finally stopped by a stream along the way for a quick bite and to give the horses a rest.
"Are you alright?" Merlin asked as he handed Arthur a hunk of bread.
"No but I will manage to carry on." Arthur said as he looked at the bread before taking a bite. "At least I know she is well and somewhat safe. You must not mention Duran to anyone, not even Gaius."
"Gaius knows. He was in Ealdor when Duran was born." Merlin said. "Mother asked him to come but he didn't know why until he arrived that it was for Gwen."
"I remember him being gone for a few weeks a few years ago. He attended her. I am grateful for that. I will tell him when we return. I suppose she made him promise to keep her secret too." Arthur said.
Merlin took out an apple and handed it to Arthur. "She told him she was moving on when she was able to travel. He didn't know that she had stayed until I came back from my visit with Mother just after Duran was born. Mother talked her into staying in Ealdor."
"So many knew and no one said a word to me." Arthur stood up and walked to the edge of the stream. "I never loved Mithian. She was a kind and lovely person but I never felt the same for her as I did for Guinevere. It wasn't fair to marry her and now she is dead because of me."
"She is dead because she had difficulty in childbirth. You were both doing your duty to Camelot. You know as well as I that marriages between the nobility are more politics and treaties than love. That is why you didn't marry Princess Elena." Merlin reminded him.
Arthur turned back and looked at Merlin. "You give me too much credit. I was angry and prideful. I could have waited or gone after Guinevere when I realized my mistake. It would have better for everyone if I had."
"You can't change the past." Merlin said. "No one blames you for Mithian's death. Women die in childbirth it is a tragedy but sometimes it is unavoidable. Gaius said she didn't suffer. Be at peace with that."
"But I'm not at peace with it. I know that no one blames me for her death but I still feel responsible somehow. I know that I can't change the things that have happened but I can at least try to make amends for it." Arthur said.
"Make amends for an unforeseen tragedy? There is no way to do that." Merlin said. "You were going to marry her before Gwen came back to Camelot. Who is to say that if you had married her then the same fate would not have befallen her?"
"Thank you Merlin. Now I feel even worse." Arthur threw the half eaten apple into the water. "I just want to make things better for everyone especially Guinevere."
"You need to understand that it may not be able to fix it all. Let's go Arthur, before we lose the light. We still have a long way to go." Merlin started to clear up and repack the food. He went to the stream and filled the water skins.
Arthur got back on his horse and waited for Merlin.
Merlin handed him a water skin and mounted his horse. They traveled to Camelot without talking about Guinevere and Duran.
When they arrived in Camelot Gaius was waiting on the steps for them. He had a worried look on his face.
Arthur was first to dismount after they entered the courtyard. "Gaius, is there something wrong?"
"Sire. I would ask to have a private conversation with you. The Council had asked me to speak on their behalf. It involves a matter this is most delicate." Gaius looked uncomfortable.
Arthur looked at him curiously. "Come with me to my chambers I will speak with you there."
"Thank you Sire." Gaius looked relieved.
Arthur walked past the old man and toward his chambers.
Merlin grabbed Gaius' arm. "What is this about?"
"Come along Merlin and you will hear it too." Arthur said from the doorway of the palace.
"Yes Sire." Merlin followed the King and the Physician into the palace.
X
When the door closed to Arthur's chambers, Gaius waited for Arthur to ask him to continue. He was dreading what he was going to say and he didn't want to quicken the King's temper.
Arthur looked at Gaius and could tell he was uncomfortable. "Tell me what has you so bothered, Gaius."
The Council has been talking about a new Queen for you." Gaius frowned. "They are getting a list together for your convenience, Sire."
Arthur looked at Gaius and started to laugh.
"Arthur?" Merlin looked at him concerned for his sanity. He had been under a lot of stress the past few days and it seemed to be catching up to him.
"Gaius, I will not be choosing a bride from a list, not now not ever. There will be no more political marriages by this King. I have had enough of that kind of duty." Arthur sat down and started to pull off his boots.
Gaius raised an eyebrow. "I see I shall inform the Council, Sire."
"There is another matter I wish to discuss with you. He stands about this high." Arthur held out his hand to the height of Duran.
Gaius looked at Merlin who nodded in affirmative. "I know of the matter you speak of, Sire."
"Good because I owe you thanks for attending his birth. When I heard that you did that I was immediately grateful of your attention to his mother." Arthur said sincerely.
"I thought you would be angry when you discovered the truth." Gaius said. "I was asked to keep the secret of his existence from you by his mother. I never wanted to hold such information back but you were married and she was insistent."
"I understand and at the time you were right to agree. I am not married now and I will not be marrying anyone other than his mother in future." Arthur ran his hand through his hair. "That is if she will ever forgive me for my stupidity."
"She will come around. My mother is on your side, Arthur. She will speak to her." Merlin said. "She did soften a bit while we were there. Arthur, she allowed you to spend time with him."
"He is wonderful and so smart. I am very proud of him." Arthur was overwhelmed for a moment. "He must get that from his mother because I am a dollop head. Gaius, no one will know about him but the three of us. She has asked that Elyan must not be told and I gave her my promise."
"He is her brother, Arthur. He has a right to know." Gaius said.
"Just as I did but no one told me. You were present at his birth and you brought him presents every time you would visit your mother." Arthur sighed. "I am not angry, just upset and tired. I will be going back after Alined's visit. I want you to come with us, Gaius. I want you to give him a look over to assure his health. His mother needs to be checked as well. She was thin. You may want to look at the whole village while you are there."
"I will be ready to travel when the time comes." Gaius said. "It would be good to visit with friends at least."
"Now that is settled. Sit down Gaius. Tell me of what has been going on these past few days while I have been away. Merlin, go find some food and then I will get some sleep. Have you eaten Gaius?" Arthur asked.
"I was waiting my meal for Merlin." Gaius said.
"Make that food for three, Merlin." Arthur said. "I'm sure you are as hungry as I am."
"Yes Sire. I could even eat rat and like it." Merlin laughed as he left.
"He is so odd sometimes. I wonder sometimes if he is all right in the mind." Arthur frowned at the door Merlin had just passed through.
"I wonder the same thing myself, Sire, only for different reasons." Gaius said.
"I thought I was the only one." Arthur chuckled. "What happened while I was gone besides the Council drawing up a list of potential brides?"
"The patrols reported sighting an encampment about three leagues from here. They believed it to be bandits but when they came round again there was no sign of it ever being there." Gaius told him.
"Sorcerers?" Arthur asked.
"That would be my thought. They were close to Camelot and that cannot be ignored." Gaius said.
"Is it possible they were just passing through and wanted no trouble? It may have even been the Druids." Arthur said.
"If they went to the trouble of removing any trace of their passing, I don't believe they were just passing through. It may be Morgana planning an attack again." Gaius said.
"I hope not. I was hoping that I had seen the last of her but I don't believe that is the case. I shall have to increase patrols and have more guards here in the Citadel." Arthur said. "We must be ready if there is trouble. This is not a good time for me. I have other matters that are of a more pressing nature."
"Do you think she will return with the boy?" Gaius asked.
"I believe she wants to but like me she still feels the pain of everything we have gone through." Arthur said. "I am going to name him heir regardless if she returns or not. I will put the document in the vault myself for safe keeping. If she doesn't return then he will have to be found and brought here to take the throne upon my death."
"Have you discussed it with her?" Gaius asked.
"No she would not be happy about it." Arthur said.
Gaius nodded. "I can see her side. She wanted him to live a life away from this place or she would have already brought him to your attention."
"It hasn't been very long since Mithian and my daughter died." Arthur said. "I remember the day you gave me the news. I was actually more upset that I had lost the child than her mother. When I realized that I became ashamed at even having such thoughts."
"Merlin told me." Gaius said.
"He tells you everything, doesn't he?" Arthur looked at the old man. "All of his secrets and possibly all of mine as well."
"Not everything, of that I am sure but he speaks his concerns when he needs someone to discuss them with. I am an old man. It stands to reason he would seek my wisdom in such matters."
"You are the closest thing to a father he has, Gaius." Arthur said. "I would do anything to ask my father for his wisdom at times. He would not be pleased with me. He would tell me to pick from the list and move on. I can't. I need her like the very air I breathe. I need them both."
"I'm sure it will all work out for the best, Sire." Gaius tried to reassure him. He could see the young King was troubled by so many things. He had seen that same look on Uther's face more times than he cared to count.