Chapter 11
Merlin stayed there watching the pyre burn until the embers started to cool. He couldn't bring himself to walk away.
Gwen looked out the window of the house at Merlin. "Arthur you need to go get him. He shouldn't be out there alone."
"You knew he had feelings for her, didn't you?" Arthur asked Gwen.
Gaius and Hunith looked at each other.
"I had my suspicions but Morgana would have never crossed the line with a servant. Not even one she had feelings for." Gwen said.
"She had feelings for him? Did he know?" Arthur asked.
"I don't know. After she came back from being missing for so long she seemed to have gotten over it." Gwen said.
"I'll go get him. He needs to eat and get some rest for tomorrow." Arthur said.
"We are still leaving in the morning then?" Gwen asked.
"Yes. I have to get back. Will you be ready?" Arthur asked.
"I'm already packed so I will be ready." Gwen said. "Go get him, Arthur. Don't let him be alone."
Arthur nodded and went out to get Merlin.
Gwen turned around and saw Hunith's and Gaius' faces. "You two didn't know either, did you?"
"It wasn't something he would confide in his mother." Hunith said. "I had my suspicions too but I thought it was just my imagination. Gaius, did he say something to you?"
"No but I suspected." Gaius said. "I never knew she returned his feelings. I wonder if Merlin knew."
"If I knew what?" Merlin said as he came in with Arthur. "Tell me Gaius."
Gaius hesitated.
"I thought that Morgana had feelings for you too." Gwen said.
Merlin nodded. "I knew but she was a Lady of the Court and I was the manservant of Prince Prat. It wasn't going to happen for us."
Arthur looked at Gwen. "It almost didn't for us." He looked at Merlin. "I'm sorry I had no idea, Merlin."
Merlin sat down at the table. "Why should you? I am your manservant not one of the Knights."
Arthur knew what Merlin said was true. He shouldn't treat him any differently than the Knights but he did. He felt ashamed. Merlin was his friend and so much more.
"I'm truly sorry, Merlin." Arthur said.
"You said that already." Merlin said. "Maybe Gwen being in Camelot will take some of the prat out of you."
"I doubt that." Gwen said as she sat next to Merlin. "Thank you for protecting us, Merlin. I know it cost you dearly."
Merlin smiled at Gwen. "I would do anything for you and Duran and yes, even Arthur."
"Thank you Merlin." Arthur said.
"Supper is ready. Let's eat. Duran looks like he about to fall asleep." Hunith said.
Duran had been quiet since the attack. He could tell something was making everyone upset and he was confused about it all. Now he saw that Merlin was sad. He climbed up on the bench next to Merlin and gave him a hug.
Merlin hugged him back. "What was that for?"
Duran looked at him with Gwen's eyes. "Because you're sad. You can sleep with my horsey. I will make you feel better."
"I'm fine. You can keep your horsey, Duran. I will be better after we eat." Merlin smiled up at Hunith. "Smells wonderful, Mother."
Everyone sat down at the table and no one mentioned Morgana again.
After supper Duran fell asleep by the fire with his head on Gwen's lap. Arthur came and sat beside her.
Gaius and Hunith were already asleep as well. The excitement of the day was a bit much for them as well.
"Do you want me to carry him to your house?" Arthur asked.
"No. I want to stay here tonight. Everything is packed there. I haven't told him that we aren't coming back." Gwen said.
"Merlin visits often and Hunith is always welcome at Camelot. It won't be so bad." Arthur said. "He will adjust. I wish I could talk you into staying in the castle but you must do what you feel is best for him."
Gwen caressed Arthur's cheek. "It's just until we work it all out. When we marry I will come live at the castle. Now that we know the truth, it seems likely."
Arthur nodded. He looked over at Merlin sitting at the table. "I'm worried about him."
"I am too." Gwen said. "She wasn't some strange sorceress. She was someone he had feelings for. We need to give him the support he won't ask for."
Arthur nodded. "I need to be a better friend to him."
"Yes you do." Merlin said as he walked up behind them with a piece of firewood in his hand. "I'll be fine. Don't worry over me."
"Thanks. I won't." Arthur said with a grin. "Are you going to be ready in the morning, Merlin? We need to get an early start. We are going to be loaded down and I have a feeling Duran has never ridden a horse before."
"No he hasn't." Gwen said. "He will ride with me."
"We will take turns. Holding him still will be a challenge for us both." Arthur said. "He will fall asleep at some point. You haven't been on a horse in a while it may be difficult for you to manage that."
"I hadn't thought of that." Gwen said. "Why do you think he will fall asleep?"
"Merlin does when he rides great distances." Arthur patted Merlin on the shoulder.
Merlin looked up from tending the fire. "It was only that once. I'll have to distribute the weight so that the horses won't tire too quickly. Wearing your chainmail and armor in the morning?"
"Of course." Arthur said. "Why does that matter?"
"The weight is greater for the horse with you, your armor and a small boy." Merlin said. "I will put more on Gaius' and my horses."
"You are very surprising sometimes, Merlin." Arthur said.
"You just don't want me to turn you into a horny toad." Merlin grinned. "You know I can do that."
Arthur stared at him as Merlin went to spread the bedrolls for the night. He turned to Gwen. "He was joking, wasn't he?"
Gwen giggled. "I don't think so."
"Oh Gods!" Arthur softly swore under his breath.
"I think you would be an adorable little toad." Gwen teased him.
"That is not funny Guinevere." Arthur said seriously. "All these years and he hasn't turned me into anything so far. I like those odds."
"That you can remember." Merlin said from beside him. "I have the bedrolls down. You can bring Duran over and put him to bed."
"Wait! What do you mean? Have you turned me into something, Merlin?" Arthur asked.
"Not telling." Merlin grinned and winked at Gwen.
"I shall have to watch you more closely from now on it seems." Arthur said as he got up and took Duran from Gwen's lap. "Yes, more closely indeed."
Gwen bit her lip to keep from giggling.
Merlin just eyed Arthur curiously with his arms folded in front of him. "And what does that mean?"
Arthur came back to Gwen after covering Duran and grinned mischievously at Merlin. He helped her get up to go over to the bedroll beside Duran. "I think you know. Get some sleep Merlin."
Merlin banked the fire and went to lay down on his bedroll. He didn't sleep right away his mind playing the scenes with Morgana over and over again. Knowing that he did what he did to protect Arthur and his family didn't make it any easier to face. He killed Morgana and there was no undoing it. He would have to learn to live with it.
Merlin didn't sleep well and he was awake before dawn. He got up and went to prepare the horses and load Gwen and Duran's possessions on the horses.
By the time he was finished, his mother was stirring. She had just started breakfast when Merlin came in.
"You are up early." Hunith said.
"I had trouble sleeping." Merlin said. He gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"I would worry if you didn't." Hunith said. "This isn't the life I expected for you when I realized you had magick. But I see now it is the life you were meant to live, no matter how difficult it is."
"It has its good times too." Merlin said. "I do what I can to bring magick back to Albion. So others like me can be free. It starts with Arthur trusting me with my magick."
"It seems he has been for some time." Hunith said. "Talk to him. Tell him everything you have done. You know he won't harm you now."
"I will, Mother. But not right now. We have to give Camelot its rightful Queen first." Merlin looked over at Gwen sleeping with Arthur's arm around her waist. "I'm not the only one with guilt. Arthur has his fair share."
"Then you need to help each other." Hunith said. "It's what you both need."
Merlin smiled. "You are always so wise. I love that about you."
"I will miss you, my boy." Hunith hugged him. "I always do when you leave me but I am proud of you."
Arthur started to stir. Merlin looked over.
"I'll help you get breakfast on the table." Merlin said. "Arthur is starting to wake."
"You sit and let me take care of you for just a little longer." Hunith said.
By the time Hunith had breakfast on the table, everyone was awake and ready to leave. They sat down to one last meal before they left.
Gwen gave Hunith a hug. "Thank you for everything. Come to Camelot for the winter. You can stay with me and Duran."
"I will think about it." Hunith said.
Gaius hugged his old friend. "She is right. You should come to Camelot. Merlin and I will take care of you for a change."
"I will end up taking care of you both and I know it." Hunith smiled. "I will let you know."
Duran pulled on her skirt. Hunith came down to him and hugged him. "Be a good boy."
"I will." Duran wrapped his arms around her neck and hugged her. He ran off to where his mummy was standing with Gaius.
"Thank you, Hunith, for everything. Gwen and I owe you so much. I will never be able to repay it all." Arthur surprised her with a hug. He pressed a purse full of coins into her hand.
"Arthur, I cant." Hunith tried to give it back to him.
"No arguments. It's for our stay and there should be enough for something extra. Sometimes, I think you are more family to me than I realize."
"Arthur, I think that is the sweetest thing you have ever said. I should say thank you." Hunith patted his cheek.
"You are practically Duran's grandmother not to mention a mother to Guinevere and myself." Arthur said. "Come to Camelot before the weather turns. We could all use your wisdom."
Hunith smiled. "Thank you."
Arthur nodded and went to help Gwen mount her horse. He lifted Duran into the saddle in front of her before mounting his own horse.
Hunith waved until she couldn't see them anymore. She looked inside the purse expecting to see silver coins but there were only gold pieces. Hunith couldn't remember ever seeing that much gold in her life. She shook her head in wonder.