~Memory Sequence~
The air rushed out of my lungs, a look of utter disgust and disbelief washed over my face as the plate I had been washing slipped out of my hands and crashed to the floor. I looked over at my mother, shock flashing in my eyes before it slowly turned to denial as I took a step back from the sink, shaking my head slowly.
"N-No…that's not true…it can't be true…these things don't happen in real life!" My voice cracked an octave as my face paled, I began to tremble as a wave of nausea suddenly hit. This couldn't be happening…this couldn't be real. I looked at my Mother's face, desperately searching it for any signs that she was fibbing. But the sick realization began to hit me…she wasn't lying…
"They do happen…and this is the truth…he is your father…you are his spawn." She said, her voice grim and filled with sadness. It was as if she was trying to apologize with this truth. I'd always suspected I wasn't normal, but this was just plain ridiculous.
I shook my head, my breathing slowly beginning to increase as my pulse quickened. I always kept it a point to remain composed or weird things would start happening and right now all's I could see was red. I was furious, this was making me sick to my stomach. She had to be lying…she had to be. I wouldn't accept this as a truth!
"Y-You're lying! I-I'm not…I don't even know what a spawn is! If this is your idea of a joke then it's fucking sick and cruel!" I began to insanely laugh, clutching at my chest as the heat inside of me began build. I knew some weird shit was about to happen, but this…her words were making me so sick to my stomach and angry that I just couldn't control myself this time. I had no way to. If she was telling the truth…then…I had no choice but to take my own life then and there…I would not continue living knowing that…
My Mother took a step closer, holding her hands up in defense, as if she was silently telling me that she meant me no harm. It was weird…she always did that when I was upset. I didn't know why but normally it helped me to calm down. But right now…it was far from helping. I had the urge to scream until my lungs popped and rip her apart. I gasped at that, my mind went blank as I clutched the sides of my head. No. Why would I want to hurt my mother?! Why?! I'd never thought such things before…so why now?! Why was everything suddenly changing on me? Why was my Mother acting strange?! Why was she lying?! Why?! Why?! Why?!
"Calm down and let me explain everything before you lose yourself. What I told you is the truth…this is not a lie or a joke. I'm telling you this for your own benefit…before you lose the chance to decide for yourself." Her voice seemed so far away, as if I was losing touch with my sanity.
My vision slowly turned a deeper shade of crimson, I hunched my shoulders, viciously glaring at my Mother, I could feel the teeth in my mouth slowly sharpening and lengthening as my temperature began to sky rocket. The heat in the pit of my stomach began to spread throughout my body, my hands shaking as they lowered to my sides, clenching into fists. I dug my nails into the palms of my hands as blood trickled out of my nose.
"Sweetheart…I…I didn't ask for this…I didn't ask for you to be brought into the world the way you were…but I am thankful I had you. I just want you to know…so you have a chance to fight before he takes that right from you and makes you into a mindless drone. I don't want to see you lose that fight or your fire. I couldn't bear it." She spoke slowly and calmly, my tension wasn't easing…it only seemed to be growing more and more with each word she spoke and it was driving me insane.
"Y-You're lying! He's not my father! This is all a lie!" I snarled out at her, my voice didn't seem like my voice for some reason, it was far too deep, almost sounded…like an animal growling. I shook my head, trying to shake my sanity back into my head, while trying to control my breathing. I felt like I was burning up inside.
"I am not lying…for Christ sakes look at the facts! You can't go on blessed ground, you can't wear a cross, you scream whenever someone puts a bible near you and your skin bubbles when Holy water touches you! It is the truth." She herself seemed to slowly be losing control of her anger, her voice was raising and it was making my skin prickle. I took another shaky step away from her, feeling uneasy as sweat trickled down my forehead.
"My father…is not…is not Lucifer…you're…insane to think that…demons don't exist…" I choked out, feeling my stomach clench when I spoke his name. I was right, they didn't exist…they couldn't. If they did exist then all of the other bad shit existed. I was right about this…I had to be. I hoped to be.
I weakly watched as my Mother took another step closer, she looked slightly…repulsed…I could see it…and smell it on her. Wait…smell…I can smell her repulsion? How is that possible? You can't smell emotions. My face paled as I let out the breath I didn't know I'd been holding, tears slowly streaming down my cheeks.
"N-No…no…no…no!" I threw my head back, letting out a ragged scream as I felt a pulse of power rush out from my body, before I looked at her with fury filled eyes, my vision completely crimson, I had no will to hold back now, I didn't want to. I felt myself take a shaky step closer to her, before I saw the look in her eyes. It hurt me to see my own Mother looking at me with fear and revulsion. I felt myself slowly cooling off before I looked away from her. I felt so weak, so used up, I wanted to sleep forever…but when I felt her hand on my shoulder, all that hatred and anger came swimming back to me. I slapped her hand away and jumped back, actually hissing at her as my eyes narrowed.
"D-Don't you touch me! Don't you ever touch me! You did this to me! You let him create me! You cursed me! I'll never forgive you!" I screamed out at her, as loud as I could, feeling as if my lungs wound burst at the action.
She jolted at the sound of my voice, before holding she began to walk closer to me, making me shake my head as I backed up into a corner, not something I ever liked. I actually began to growl as she stood in front of me, she didn't look threatening, but being cornered was making me paranoid. I felt trapped. Like I was about to be hurt. I growled low, pushing her back as hard as I could, going wide eyed when I watched her slam into a wall.
Her back hit the dry wall with a dull thud, before I watched her slide down, slumping against it as she choked out a whimper. I looked down at my hands, before looking to my Mother as I watched her look up at me with pained eyes. A weak smile crossed her face as she slowly forced herself to stand. I could see the pain she was in just from moving, it was making her nearly cry. Her lower lip was quivering and her cheeks were flushed like they always were when she was about to fall over and begin crying. But she held her own and glared at me, her eyes filled with fury and sadness.
"I let him do this? I cursed you? I didn't LET him do anything! I didn't curse you! He did! He kid knapped me from my home when I was sixteen and raped me! He did this to the both of us! He is the one to blame! Not me! I did not ask for any of this! I didn't ask to be taken from my family! I didn't ask to bear the Heiress to Hell! But it is what happened and it is what we must deal with before your time runs out!" She screamed at me, her voice was cracking with each syllable she spoke, anger flaring in her eyes as she trembled. For the first time I was seeing fury in my Mother eyes, it was sort of refreshing and scary at the same time.
Another realization suddenly hit me then, before my brow furrowed, I grit my teeth as I stared her down. It seemed she was telling the sick truth, I had to accept that. But I had only one question and she had better answer it truthfully or she would not like what would hap-…no…no I wouldn't think about that. I would not think about hurting my Mother. I would not!
"If you knew my Fate…then why didn't you kill me when I was born and save me from this suffering? Why not take charge!?" I growled out, breathing heavily as tears brimmed in my eyes. I watched as she looked away, a sob rising in her throat as she trembled.
"How can you even ask something like that? I could never kill my own child…" Her voice slowly came to a whisper on the word kill before turning to disgust. I felt my stomach clench. She had tried…I could feel it. It was why I felt uneasy around her when she was holding a weapon. She had tried to harm me as a child. I felt my skin prickle, before feeling bile rise in my throat.
"You lie…you have tried…I can smell your disgust!" I snarled out, before shuddering. Hearing it in my head was worse…actually admitting it out loud made me feel even sicker to my stomach. I shook my head as I glared at her. "Lies upon more lies…is there anything else you haven't told me?!"
She jolted before looking to me as her eyes narrowed, something about her right now seemed dangerous and I was not sure of what she would do. It was more than unsettling. I bit my lower lip, chewing on the skin before jumping at the sound of her voice breaking the silence. "You have until your 21st year to decide to either side with your Father and become like him or…perish."
Her voice was grim, oozing with disgust and hatred as she glared at me, I felt my chest tighten in response before I tore my gaze from hers, not sure of what to think or say I began to pace. It was not productive to the situation, but it was the only thing that seemed to help clear my head.
"Either way I loose...and you have no qualms about either." I narrowed my eyes before stilling as I looked across the room at her, seeing that she was now holding a knife, upon instinct I felt the urge to snarl at her and take a fighting stance to defend myself. But I jolted when the sound of the blade slide across the floor, stopping a few inches from me. "I bid you to kill yourself…keep him from getting what he wants…save everyone from their suffering and safe yourself from your own."
I couldn't believe my ears…my Mother wanted me to kill myself…right there in front of her. What kind of sick world was this?! I shook my head, kicking the blade back over to her as my eyes narrowed.
"I'm not going to commit a sin!" I growled out at her, shaking my head as I looked away from her, feeling my heart clench again as I shuddered. How could she ask me to do such a thing? It was sickening. I didn't believe in many things, but I held true to the Ten Commandments. I would not kill myself. I shook my head before feeling my skin prickle again and before I could react fast enough, I felt something cool slice into my upper arm. I fell back against the wall, clutching the limp limb with a trembling hand before looking up to seeing my Mother standing over me, her eyes crazed as she laughed slightly.
"I-I'll save you from this…so you won't have to fall. You're a good girl…y-you won't turn evil…you won't and I'll be the one to deliver you from evil! I will deliver you from Lucifer!" She raised the knife over her head, my eyes grew as wide as saucers, before shielding my face, feeling the blade slicing into my arms over and over again, and the pain was unbearable. I could feel it carving into the muscle, sinew and tendons of my arms. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of crying out. I held in my screams, only letting tears slide down my cheeks as she kept hacking away at my arms.
"I'll free you! Free you from him!" She continued saying over and over again, like it was a fucking mantra. I grit my teeth as I felt the blade scrape against my bone, the sound nearly making my ears bleed before I finally reacted. I leaned back, pulling my legs up against my chest before I drove them into her chest with enough force as I could possibly muster, before watching her fly up into the ceiling. She cried out loudly as plaster fell down around her as she hit the tile floor, I shuddered when I heard her cheek connect with the tile, the sound was stomach wrenching.
I shakily stood up, breathing heavily as blood gushed down my arms, and I looked at the blade in her hand, arching an eyebrow as I sighed. No wonder I kicked it away. It was a blessed blade. Meaning these wounds would no doubt heal into some really nasty scars. I shook my head, kicking the blade out of her hand before I glared at her.
"And to think I once called you Mom." My words were barely a whisper, but still had enough volume to reach her ears or so I hoped. At this point…I wanted her to hurt…not physically…but mentally. But there was a part of me that suspected she wasn't all there to begin with. Considering everything she had just told me, I doubted she was sane after what Lucifer did to her. I shuddered to think what he had done, quickly shaking away the sickening mental image before it began to form as I turned on my heel and began to walk out of the room towards the front door. I wouldn't stay here anymore. I couldn't. Not after all of this.
I turned on my heel and began to walk out of the kitchen when I heard my Mother's faint whimper, I stilled and looked over my shoulder to see her slowly pushing herself up onto her knees, looking down at the ground as she began to sob, I felt guilt oddly hit me in the stomach for the injuries I had caused her but they were out of self defense! The crazy bitch was trying to "save me" as it were…and I wasn't going to just die without putting up one hell of a fight.
It hit me then…if I had until I was 21…then I would put up one hell of a fucking fight. I was damn well going to fight whatever that mother fucker threw at me and throw something worse back at him. I wouldn't submit to this…I wouldn't let that be my only fate. I growled and walked closer, glaring down at her as she looked up at me, fear showing in her eyes now and oddly…I was excited by the fear, thrilled! It scared me to admit that, but it was delicious, seeing the fear in her eyes, smelling it in the air…god…it was better than biting into raw meat!
Don't ask…seriously…just don't.
"You're going to tell me everything you know about this asshole and you're going to tell the fucking truth!" I growled out, trying my best to remain composed as I watched her, seeing the fear leave her eyes before she began to oddly laugh. This unnerved me to no end.
"You want to know everything about him? T-There's nothing to know…he's evil…that's it…nothing but pure evil…something you will be soon if you don't kill yourself." She croaked out dryly, her voice sounded weaker than normal, having an odd ring to it before he slowly picked up the knife, looking down at it as she trembled.
"My fate…has already been sealed…it was sealed the moment your father became one with me…I will have no pleasant after life…I will suffer for the rest of times…all because of you…because…I…had…you." She croaked out dryly, her voice having a strange emotionless ring to it. I watched her carefully, keeping a good distance in case she got too friendly with that knife again, before going wide eyed as she ran her fingers through the blood on the blade. My blood…she was touching my blood as if fascinated by it.
"Because of you…I'll never lead a normal life…because of you…I was shunned by the town…beaten…raped…I endured so many tortures because I had the child of Darkness…you are to blame…you…the heathen child. It is you that will bring about the thousand years of Darkness and it is you that will kill the twin sons. So it has been written…so it shall be." She began to insanely laugh, smearing my blood all over her face before looking up at me with those crazed eyes again, making me take a quick step back as I wasn't in the mood to lose anymore blood.
"You are the Beginning and the End…the Alpha and the Omega…His Heiress…either perish here and gain some place in Heaven and save my people from suffering…or go down his path…toward evil." She pointed the knife at me, tilting her head as she seemed to get even crazier looking if that were at all possible. I watched as my blood dripped off the end of the blade, before shuddering. That couldn't be my fate…could it? There had to be another option…something…anything…I didn't want that to be it!
And who the hell were the twin sons? Where the fuck was she getting this information?
I shook my head, sighing as I tilted my head back, letting out a ragged sigh before I looked down at her, seeing she was slowly standing up, the hand in which she held the knife, still pointed at me. "You must decide...Good or Evil…Light or Darkness…Death or Life...-…"
I cut her off, getting tired of the monologue as I waved my hand from side to side, shaking my head as irritation rushed throughout my body. I was tired of these games, either she going to kill me with boredom and cliché lines I'd heard from every Demon movie…or I was going to rip my own head off to just be done with it.
"Yeah yeah…shreaded wheat or honey nut…bran or sugar glazed…I get it. But I'm not into the whole huge speech thing…so how's about we wrap this up? You obviously ain't my mom anymore and I've got a whole shit load of growing up to do in less than a few days. So cut the Christ A bullshit and let's get down to brass tax. Ok?" I huffed out, seemingly annoyed with the entire situation, before it dawned on me…
I'd never spoken this way before…so why now?
I shook my head as I sighed, knowing I didn't have time for this bullshit. I tilted my head and looked at my "Mother", from what I guess, the expression on my face was none to amused since the look on her face was of utter irritation and fury. I'd apparently interrupted her fun or whatever she was saying…I don't know…wasn't really paying much attention. I was done. Game over.
"How dare you!" She screeched at me, making me stick my finger in my ear as I winced, before sighing as I watched her, keeping a considerable distance from that blade of hers. Didn't want to get sliced up again and I wasn't really itching to jump into a grave anytime soon. Not for a while anyways.
"How dare I? How dare you. You're the one screeching ya damn harpy." I growled out, my eyes narrowing as she gripped the knife in a white knuckle grip, before my eyes glinted, I knew then that she was either going to throw the knife at me or rush me. Neither option was fun…but I had to be prepared this time.
However…she one upped me. My eyes widened as I watched her put the blade to her throat, trembling as she stared me down with those crazed eyes, the eyes that once held love and kindness for me. I felt my stomach tighten in response, my heart clenched before I took a step towards her.
"Mom…please…you don't have to do that." My voice was cracking, I could hear it and if I wasn't careful I was going to either fall for a trick and get stabbed, possibly die…or I was about to lose the only family I had. I didn't know which was worse…
She let a disturbingly grim smile spread across her face before her slowly dragging the knife across her neck, causing me to let out a terrified shriek as I rushed at her, catching her just as she fell forward. I cradled her close to me as I trembled, the scent of her blood was clouding my senses, sending odd urges through my mind and making me dizzy all at once. I shook my head, before looking down at my Mother with tear filled eyes, seeing she was lying motionless in my arms. I felt a sob rise in my throat, the urge to scream growing more and more as the seconds flew by.
"Mo-.." I started to say before my side was filled with a blinding white hot pain sparked up my side, my eyes snapped wide open before I looked down, seeing my Mother looking up at me weakly, her face quickly loosing color as she coughed up blood. I tried to speak, but found it hard as the pain began to burn hotter than before, it swirled around inside of me before I finally threw my head back, letting out an agonized wail of pain.
"T-Together…we'll escape him…together…" I could barely understand what she said…but that's was most of what came out of her mouth other then blood and it was really hard to listen with a holy blade jammed into my side. I didn't want it to end this way…I wasn't going to go out holding my insane ass mother!
I growled weakly, shoving her off of me as best I could, instantly regretting it when I realized she was still tightly holding onto the blade as it was slowly dragged down my side, tearing through the muscle and fatty tissue. I couldn't vocalize a scream worthy enough for that amount of pain, so I grit my teeth, grabbed the blade, ripping it from my side as I shuddered before staring my Mother down as the steel began to burn into my hand.
"I…am not…dying here today. You may…but I won't…" I yanked the knife from her hand, before turning it so I gripped the hilt, looking down at the blade as it gleamed in my hand, electricity seeming to arch off the hand that held it..almost as if I wasn't meant to hold the blade. I shook my head, not wanting to face the truth, but I had to. I had to do this. To end her suffering and to keep her from putting me through anymore…
"God forgive me…" I choked out, tears rolled down my face as I looked down at my Mother, seeing the wide eyed weak expression on her pale face. I gulped down a lump of emotion, keeping my eyes locked on hers before I brought the blade down hard, burying it deep into her forehead, the sound echoed through my mind as I gasped. I watched with a sick fascination as her eyes widened as the blade sunk into her head, I leaned closer, watching as the light slowly began to fade from her eyes.
I was committing a sin…probably the most heinous of them all…I was watching my Mother die…watching the light fade from her eyes. Something no one should ever do. For if you watch someone die…staring them right in the eyes…their face will haunt your every waking dream and nightmares. And considering I just killed my own Mother…is was just so much worse than normal. I slowly let go of the knives hilt, trembling as I watched her head hit the floor with a dull thud before I scooted back, holding my side as tears rolled down my quickly paling cheeks. I just…I just murdered my Mother…I killed her…she was dead…gone forever. I felt my chest tighten as a wave of grief hit me. I bowed my head, beginning to sob violently, rocking back and forth as my grief hit me hard. I had nothing now…nothing but…but him…and what reason was that to go on existing? What reason was that to keep pushing through life?!
~End of Memory Sequence~