What's a Girl to Believe?

Kim's POV

Putting the end to a so called game sounds pretty easy right? All you should have to do is say, "That's it! Games over!" Or something to that effect. Simple right? Well, how the hell are you supposes to end a game where innocent people, and not just any old person, but children, die just so the government can prove a point? To constantly remind people of a war that this District 13 lost by trying to rise up against the government for what they believe was right, for was is right. What happened in this world? What happened to Panem? What turned their government turn to tyrant rulers who use fear as a way of controlling their citizens? It's just so crazy to me. If you are in one district, you only have communication with those in that district. It reminds me of the concentration camps in Germany and Poland during World War II when the Nazis where trying to take over the world, and the concentration camps that the Asians were forced to live in during the Vietnam War in America. Fighting the war caused that stop, the only difference between this and those; we don't really have an army behind us.

I've been living in this world for just over a year now. I've grown so much closer to Jack, we've really have to rely on each other through all of this. It's just so different. I had no problem making friends in Seaford, but here, I'm a total outcast. I have met Madge Undersee, she is totally like me. Reminds me of home, of cheerleading, and all my friends. I was shocked to find out that she was friends with Katniss who is a complete shell. She was so hard to get to know and even now, I don't truly know her. Although Gale tells me that she must at least tolerate me, otherwise she would have apparently shoot an arrow through my eye. After seeing all her kills, I'd believe it. I know she will do great in the Games, I just don't know if she can make it out alive, and that's what scares me.

For our plan to work to join the districts, without actually communicating, is to show them that they can be defeated. By having two Victors instead of one, is a defeat against the Capital. What we are hoping to accomplish with that, is instilling doubt against the government and hope that it can in fact be changed. There a few issues with this however. The first, and most important, getting two victors out, and not just only two, but Katniss and Peeta, for a couple reasons (1. Katniss is our friend, so obviously we want her back. 2. They are both from District 12, the poorest district of them all, always a for sure to lose. If District 12 can win, that says a lot in itself.) Secondly, we have to somehow make sure that however Katniss pulls this miracle off, it will also cause a chain reaction for the Districts to get mad enough and fed up enough to finally strike back. And lastly, finding a way to organize all the Districts of Panem to form one army to take the Snow and the Capital down. Assuming we can achieve that and get out of all it alive, then maybe, just maybe, Jack and I will find ourselves back in Seaford and wake up thinking that was just one insane dream. A girl can hope right?

Anyways, enough of my tangents. The Tribute Parade was aired last night. Granted, I have not seen any Tribute Parades before, but there was one thing that really caught my eye, and if what I hear is right, may be the start of a great way for Katniss to start to get the people of Panem rooting for her and Peeta. The act was simple, so simple that if we were back in my world, no one would have thought a thing about it; but here, in Panem, it's huge. Peeta and Katniss came out holding hands! Simple, right? I know! But it shows that they are in this as a team. The costumes that they were wearing were amazing! Really helped draw the audience's attention. I think it is a safe beat to say that there will be a lot of people rooting for District 12, or so I desperately hope. Again, not too clear on how the whole Games work, but Gale says the more investors they have, the more money they have, the more money they have, the more parachutes they get in the Games. This parachutes give the tributes items to give them an edge or advantage in the arena. It can all get a bit confusing to a newbie such as myself. Jack seems to be following it all better, but he tends to get things a bit faster than most, that's my black belt bad boy!

"Earth to Kim!" Jack called into my ear, play shoving my shoulder. I snap out of my thoughts, brought back to the issue on hand. We are currently sitting in a tree (I know, me, Kim Crawford, sitting in a tree with throwing knives trying, and failing I might add, to track game! Who'da thought it?!)

"Best watch yourself, Brewer, or one of this knives might find a new home a little too close for comfort," I said, smirking as I tossed one in the air, caught and faked throw it at Jack, laughing as he flinched backwards enough to fall out of his tree.

"SSHH! You'll scare the game," Gale scolded, in the tree across from mine.

"I thought we were out here to discuss how we're suppose to take our Peacekeepers down once Katniss and Peeta make it back," I replied, climbing down to help Jack who was dusting some dirt of his pants and checking his bow for damage.

Gale visibly clenched his fists. It was no secret that he was pissed when he saw Katniss and Peeta holding hands when they rode in on the carriage. I get that he likes her and all, but we specifically told her to do whatever it takes to get them both home alive. What better way to do that than to play on peoples heart strings, make them think they are team, or something more. If it gets them sponsors, isn't that what we were trying to do in the first place?

"There's no way we can count on them both coming home," Gale said evenly. "Katniss will make it, she has all the survival training that will get her through the ordeal, but let's face it, Peeta doesn't really have any skills that will help out. He's just a bakers son, baking bread isn't going to help in the arena. He's not like Katniss, she knows how to kill, she knows how to hunt, she knows how to disable her prey, and that's all those other kids are, her prey." He leaned back for moment, looking like he was a little bit relaxed. "We can only count on Katniss right now. She will make it back."

I looked over at Jack who was shaking his head. That was not our plan. We can't get off our plan just because Gale was getting jealous and butt hurt over his hunting partner doing what she felt she needed to do to get out of the arena alive. We told her to get them both home, and if there is one thing I know about Katniss, she gets the job done…no matter what. She'll survive, but more importantly, she'll make sure that they both survive. The boys may not have noticed, but when she saw Peeta step up, it was easy for any girl to see, she has feelings for the boy, even if she doesn't truly realize it yet herself, but they are definitely there.

I grabbed Jack's hand and starting walking towards Gales' traps, better to let him believe what he wanted to at the moment, didn't see the point to start yet another argument. We needed his head ready to fight when the time was right, although, if…no, when, Peeta and Katniss made it back to District 12, I'm really not sure if Gale will be one we can trust to act for the better of the plan or just to get "his Catnip" all to himself. He may not know this yet, and although I have not been in anything close to this, I do know that once someone goes off to war, and that's pretty much what these games are, they never return the same. I'm willing to bet that the Katniss he once knew, will not be the same Katniss that returns.

Jack grabbed both my shoulders and turned me to face him once we were far enough away from Gale. "You doing alright?"

I paused for a moment, leaning into Jacks' chest. He had gotten muscular since taking up the bow and arrow, though some of his karate moves have been lacking the same luster they once did. I sighed deeply. "I don't know, Jack." I peered up at him, his arms wrapping around me. "Gale is so focused on Kat and Kat alone. I want her to come home too, but I don't want to just give up on Peeta. He may not be the hunter that Kat is, but I don't think he's worthless either. Everyone has talent, no matter how apparent or hidden it is. Who knows, his hidden talent may be the one thing that saves him and Kat in the end."

Jack kissed the top of my head making me blush. There wasn't anything in this world that I wanted more than to be Jack's girl…officially, except being back in Seaford. We just fit so well together. But I know that now is not the time for it, no matter how much I may want it.

"Relax, Kimmy. Katniss can do this. She has great hunting skills. She'll do her part. But right now, we have to focus on our part. We gotta make sure that we can somehow raise enough money to send to Haymitch for supplies Katniss and Peeta may need, and we gotta get this District riled up for the impending war. We gotta do this, Kim. You know it's the right thing to do."

I backed away from Jack to lean against a tree. "You do realize that means that we will have to kill people. It's war Jack, not a sparring contest or taking down some random criminal where you just have to disable them long enough for the cops to come. We will be killing people." I shook my head, crossing my arms. "I'm no hunter, Jack. I'm no Katniss or Gale, or even a Panem citizen. I've never killed anyone, I've rarely even hurt anyone while sparring. How do you expect me to kill people that I don't even know, in a world I never knew existed?"

Jack put two hands on either side of my head against the tree, trapping me there moving closer to me. "You don't need to be hunter, you don't need to be Katniss, and you don't need to be a citizen of Panem to know that this type of world needs to be fixed. You don't want to kill Kim, I get that. You think I do? The only reason I would kill anyone is if they posed any threat to one the one person that means everything to me, that's my life, that's you. You are my strength Kim, you are my reason for going on and protecting those that need it. What if it was you in the arena? You have any idea what I'd be doing right now?"

I ran my hands over Jack's cheeks; his eyes were full of worry but were also very serious. "I will always be with, Jack. I will always be on your side; I will always do whatever I can to help you. I just don't know if I am capable of killing." I broke eye contact, looking down at my feet. I know this needs to end, I know Snow needs to be removed, and I know from all my history lessons that war is the one thing that seems to fix all that, no matter how messed up that sounds. But can I do it?

All of sudden I felt lips on mine and Jack's arms circling around me. I couldn't help myself, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him back. This was what was right. This was what gave me strength. All too soon Jack pulled away.

"You trust me, don't you?"

"Of course I do, Jack."

"Then trust that this is right." I slowly nodded

"I'll follow you to the end, Jack, to the end."

Jack gave me his award winning smile. "Let's go collect Gale, we got a mandatory viewing of the Tribute ratings."

We headed back up the trail, gameless. I know I would follow Jack to the end, he's the only one I ever would. I believe in Kat and I believe in Peeta. I'm nervous about Gale, I'm nervous about war, I'm nervous about killing. But I'm scared to death to lose Jack and I'm scared to death to die in a war that even if Jack believes is the reason we are here, I'm not too sure it is. What if this is the reality and Seaford is just a figment of our imaginations. A figment that was so nice and such a luxurious escape from this Panem reality, we actually believed in it so much that it was real? What if Jack and I really are from a different District?

Now it sounds like I'm losing my mind, I know. But what if?

AN: Reviews always welcome Have a great night!