Usami Akihiko no Baii

Chapter 6

Usami listened with faint interest as Onodera chirped about how nice the place was and Misaki replied with equal eagerness about how he agreed, but Usami knew it was because the younger boy took pride in his housekeeping skills.

"Well, Onodera, why don't we catch up while Takano and Misaki go look up recipes online—the laptops are upstairs, of course," Usami announced expertly when a small moment of silence had fallen.

"Ah, sure!" Of course his former editor would agree. He was never one to really go against the flow of things; for Usami, in any case.

But if Onodera came and went with the flow of things, his boss Takano surely was the opposite. "Why don't Misaki and I bring a laptop down here and we can all talk about how interesting our lives are together?"

It was to be expected that Takano would go on the defensive. Usami had won this round. He shrugged and replied, "I already know everything about Misaki. I'm rather interested in Onodera's new life as a manga editor." Takano had two choices, he could protest once again and make a fool of himself, or he could bow his head and follow Misaki upstairs.

After narrowing his eyes menacingly, Takano chose the latter and clomped up the stairs into the computer room that Misaki led him to.

"Ah—I'm so sorry, Usami-sensei, he's just really difficult all the time without thinking and…just, sorry!" Onodera cried, pulling the Kisa move from a few days ago and slapping his hands together as if he were praying for forgiveness. Usami chuckled at Onodera; he wasn't that different from Misaki after all.

"Well, let's catch up, Onodera," Usami replied, sitting down on one of his cream sofas and allowing Onodera to take the one across from him. They were about to talk about the past year, so sitting next to each other would be rather awkward, would it not?

"Right," Onodera said after sitting down. He was blushing now. "Er…I bet you want to know why it's shoujo manga, huh?" Without waiting for an answer, because it was obvious, he continued. "Well, let me tell you—it was a complete mistake! I wanted to work with literature at Marukawa as well! But I guess someone screwed up and I get it, we all make mistakes but of course it had to be me! Anyway, I just haven't…haven't had the chance to quit, I guess…"

Usami's deep lavender gaze unnerved Onodera to the point of shutting up. If Onodera was rambling, he certainly felt torn and confused about something. Whether that was his boss or the stress of shoujo manga itself, Usami had yet to pinpoint.

"But it's been a year, Onodera. You realize that, right?"

Onodera gripped his jeans tightly as his blush deepened to a crimson color. "T-time just flies away from you when you're a manga editor, you know? It-it's not just that either, I have to…er…I have to prove that I'm not worthless and…that if I quit, it's of my own accord and not because I suck at my job!" He looked proud that he'd stuttered his way to that conclusion.

But given that he hadn't yet mentioned a certain someone, it was definitely Takano's fault that Onodera hadn't quit wasting his talent on the shoujo manga department.

"Are you sure? It has nothing to do with harsh bosses, right?" Onodera jerked his head upright and stiffened. Bingo. "I mean, I've had stories I never wanted to finish, but my boss pushed and pushed and pushed until I could've broken to get me to finish." Aikawa came to mind when he spoke, and he fought back an amused grin.

"Er, well, no, I don't have any terrible bosses! And all my co-workers are nice, remember Kisa? Yeah—he's my co-worker!"

Usami lit a cigarette boredly, but couldn't help but feel a pang of pity when he noticed that Onodera's knees were shaking. Poor kid, he just hated being useless, and look where it had gotten him. However, Usami couldn't help but want to know.

"Who is Takano to you?" he puffed out along with a stream of gray smoke.

Onodera's jade eyes widened impossibly before he whipped his head down to gaze at his trembling knees. "T-Takano-san is…my boss…and nothing else!" he cried, sounding more like he wanted to assure himself of the fact than Usami. "He's…my…"

"Do…you love him?" Usami asked, his voice gentler now.

Onodera raised his head slowly to glance at Usami through watery eyes. He wasn't crying yet, but it was obvious that he was close. "Love Takano-san?" he asked, no longer stuttering. "I…do I love Takano-san…" He gripped his jeans even tighter. Usami was surprised he hadn't ripped the sturdy fabric already. "I don't know…maybe I do still love Takano-san?"

Wait. Still? What does that mean?

"Er…'still' love Takano? What do you mean by that?" Usami asked, his omniscient façade cracking.

Onodera looked to the side now. "I…we went out back in high school. I was…I had been completely in love with him. And then…"

And then what?

After a minute's silence, Usami pressed. "And then what?"

Onodera shrugged. "I was stupid. Shit happened and I ran away from it all. I transferred to a school in England and then moved back here, hoping I'd never see that man's face ever again. Though I had already forgotten it."

Usami blinked. He really didn't think he'd delve this far into Onodera's life, he just wanted to know why he was still working with shoujo manga. But now he knew that Onodera's boss was his lover back from high school. Well, old lover, in any case. Usami didn't know what to say, so he asked more questions.

"Why did you continue to work with the man you went out with in high school…when you found out it was him?"

Onodera shrugged again. Any resistance, wittiness he had mustered was gone. All he could do was answer accordingly. "He said…he told me he'd make me say that I loved him again. He'd make me fall in love with him again…"

For some reason, Usami felt like he was missing something. Just to be sure, he asked, "Is that it? That's the reason why you stayed?"

"He said he never stopped loving me. And I…I don't think I ever stopped loving him, either," Onodera replied, releasing his jeans from his death grip.

Oh.

Oh.

It was like a love story out of the very shoujo manga Onodera edited. If it were really like a shoujo manga, Onodera would get over the past and submit to Takano. If Onodera really were like Misaki, he would come around eventually. Emphasis on eventually, though, and maybe even longer since Onodera was older than Misaki and could think for himself a little more than the boy.

For a brief moment, Usami wished Takano luck and vowed that if the man ever did anything similar to what he had done to Onodera in high school, he'd kill him. But the thought quickly disappeared when Takano shouted from the computer room, "Dammit, we can't get on the Internet! I think you're laptop's screwed up, Usami!"

Onodera flinched and continued to bore a hole into Usami's wooden floors by gazing at it intensely. The man held back a chuckle and muttered to Onodera as he passed, "I don't think he'd hurt you again."

He felt Onodera's gaze switch from boring into the ground to searing into his back. Without faltering, Usami made his way upstairs and away from his former editor. He honestly didn't think that Takano would try to hurt Onodera again, because it seemed like he really loved the little brunette. And frankly, Kohinata-chan had always gotten on his nerves. If Onodera were to ever fall in love with anyone, Usami would want it to be with Takano. Even if the man was difficult to deal with, Onodera could be too, at some times. When he was trying his hardest to accomplish something, he tended to throw away his sense of social cues.

"I'll help Misaki, Takano," Usami said when he entered the dimly-lit room. Takano looked relieved at the words and brushed past Usami in a hurry.

"But we just got it to work!" Misaki pouted.

Usami wondered briefly if his lover and Takano had engaged themselves in a similar emotional conversation like he had with Onodera, but he doubted it. Misaki was chipper as ever. For a second, Usami hoped he hadn't put a damper on what was supposed to be their fun afternoon together, everyone's day off.

Suddenly, on impulse more than anything else, Usami pulled Misaki close and kissed him. It was simple, not passionate, not sexual, just a loving little kiss. He was glad that he had Misaki, and that Misaki loved him back, no matter what the brunette said. He was glad that he knew the one he loved shared mutual feelings.

"U-Usa—idiot Usagi! You really are an idiot! Let go of me!" Misaki cried.

Usami gave a small smile. "Shh, Onodera and Takano might hear you. Do you want your new friend to realize that you're his old writer's lover?"

Misaki froze. Usami wanted to laugh at his naiveté; it was completely obvious from the moment Onodera saw them in front of their apartment. "Just get off me, Usagi-san!" he whispered harshly, struggling to get away from his older lover.

"I love you, Misaki."

"I know that, get off me!"

"You love me, right, Misaki?"

The question caused the boy to glance back at Usami and abandon his attempts to escape his grasp. "Of-of course I do, idiot Usagi…" he replied, blushing slightly. "Why would…you ask that? You already know I love you…" His emerald eyes shifted to gaze at the floor as if it held the answer to the universe written on its wooden panels.

"I just…need to hear you say it more, Misaki. Because I would be content to only be able to say 'I love you, Misaki' for the rest of my life—forever, even."

Misaki's blush deepened. "Fine…I love you too, Usagi-san…" As if to get it over with before his adrenaline withered away, Misaki screwed his eyes shut and kissed Usami with equal gentleness as their last kiss. Usami smiled into it and closed his own eyes, savoring the taste of Misaki and breathing in his young lover's scent.

No, Takano wasn't difficult. He was suffering from the disease called "unrequited love", a sickness that could kill your insides and make you feel helpless. Hopeless. Takano was just using any tactic he could, to get back what he loved most.

Usami gave Takano an imaginary bow. If he were in that man's situation with Misaki, he didn't think he could survive. He needed Misaki, and if he couldn't have Misaki, he might as well not be here.

Misaki. I hope you realize just how much I really love you.

OK, GOMENNASAI FOR THE LONG WAIT! I think it's been, like, three weeks?! I HAVE AN EXCUSE, THOUGH! Yay for excuses. Well, first off, school's been a bitch to me as always but for some reason it's been even bitchier about everything lately. And my mom certainly isn't helping. Also, last week I lost my flash drive that had ALL my chapters on it, and I still can't find the damn thing. So I rewrote this today. I actually should've done it last week but I forget why I didn't…anyways, I am extremely sorry for the long wait.

I'm also sorry if the chapter's quality isn't as good as my last ones, or if it's too uncharacteristically emotional. I was listening to some music and all of it had depressing themes, so I guess I got just a little carried away…I got a little philosophical there at the end as well xD maybe it's because I just got finished watching Code Geass for the fifth time?

Big thanks to xRinyukix for waking me up with your review! It reminded me that there are people waiting for me to update, and just abandoning everyone would be cruel. Arigatougozaimasu! And I can't wait to read your own fic!

Anyway, I think I have betrayed my right to say "See you next week!" for now, so I shall use my other chatchphrase:

See you next time!

(Doesn't sound as cool… :/)