He's playful. His favorite way of making her smile and laugh after a long day at work was to pull her down with him on the couch and tickle her sides until she squealed and tried to get away from him. And like the 9 year old he was, Rick Castle chased Kate around the loft until she collapsed into him in a fit of laughter. He loved to see the light in her eyes.
He's tender. After their first night together, Rick went back over her body, tracing each scar she'd acquired over the years on the force. He traced feather-light kisses from her shoulder to her collarbone to her stomach and down to her left thigh. She told him the many stories later, but was quiet that first night as he reverently held her, telling her silently that while he hated the pain that came with the scars, he loved the woman they made her to be.
He's passionate. In his words, through his touch, by the way they made love. In everything concerning her he was passionate. But nothing spoke more to that than his eyes. So perfectly blue, and yet she could read them like one of his books. They grew lighter and twinkled when he was happy, or darker and glinted when his anger threatened to overtake him. They grew stormy with pain and heartache. But with passion they turned into an untamed sea Kate could lose herself in. They brimmed with emotion and desire, and were flecked with dark blues, highlighted with colors of the sky.
He's strong. And not just physically. Rick Castle had strength of character and will. And while tempered with compassion and understanding, Kate believed that there was nothing this man couldn't do if he set his mind to it. His strength made her stronger. And while he wanted nothing more than to hold her and put her back together whenever her strength failed, Rick knew that it was in those moments that Kate depended on his strength the most - to finish the task and see them through. So he was strong.
He's comedic. Perhaps the trait Rick was known most for was his humor. Unwarranted and inappropriate though it may be at times, his humor made their job fun and exciting. And it gave Kate that extra push to make it through another case. Sometimes his humor was what she needs the most. And, of course, he knew this. So he gave it to her, no matter the price to himself.
He's family. The side of him that first softened Kate's heart towards him was the side no one ever sees. He's a father and a son and his love for his family overpowers anything and everything else in his life. Kate knew she was extremely lucky to be counted amongst his family members, to have this side of Rick available to her. Family Rick was definitely one of her favorites.
He's creative. Ask anyone, it was his creativity that initially drew her in. His books spoke to her of death and mayhem, but also of life and hope and love and how they go hand in hand, creating the beauty of that which we call life. Of course, now she can say he's creative in other ways as well, but we all knew Castle's imagination would take them on wild rides.
He's love. To Kate, Rick Castle was the impossible embodiment of love. Growing up, Kate watched her parents in love. And they were everything she hoped she would one day have. Her favorite memory of them is when she was fourteen and beginning to open her eyes to the opposite sex. But it wasn't until that night that she discovered she wanted to be in love. They were watching a movie, the three of them. Kate couldn't remember which one now, but it wasn't important. What she does remember is how her father swooped her mom up when their favorite song started playing. He led her in a beautiful dance around the family room, heads close together, her mother's smile morphing into joyful laughter as he whispered something in her ear. Kate's dad was always doing something like that when Johanna was alive. Washing the dishes turned into a musical event. He would wheel Kate like a racecar in the grocery store when she was younger while making funny noises to entice her to laugh, only to come to a dead stop in front of a disapproving Johanna Beckett. Jim would then walk apologetically around the cart, head down in supplication, before catching her up in a big hug and nibbling on her ear. Kate knew from the look on her mother's face that she loved the goofy, impulsive side of her husband the most.
That all changed when Johanna died. Her father lost his spark for life. Or found it in a bottle. And Kate decided that she didn't want love anymore. If it led to loss and an unmendable heartbreak, then she was better off without it. Kate watched as friends around her fell in love. And they seemed almost obsessed with their significant others, unable to function without them by their side. Every conversation was about him and dinner dates or movie nights were impossible if he couldn't come. Eventually Kate realized that the relationship with the man was more important than the friendship between the two of them. Kate was really glad she'd given up on love. If that's what love was then she didn't want it either.
Of course, if you asked Kate to look down deep inside herself, she would have found that part of her still held on to that night in the family room and her father dancing with her mother. If she were to be honest, Kate would have said she was a closet romantic. If that closet was buried in another closet. She knew it would take a special kind of man to draw her out and make her want to take a risk on love. Because she knew the cost if it failed or if something made it break.
So Kate found herself in relationships that made her happy and took away her loneliness, but it wasn't quite enough. Eventually, Kate realized she was looking for that which she didn't truly believe she'd ever find. What she never wanted to find. And then she met Richard Castle. Infuriating, annoying, incredibly charming Richard Castle. And she understood.
Love isn't something that comes in as a whirlwind and disrupts everything you so carefully built in your life. It's a steady flow that seeps in and folds itself around your hopes and dreams, joining itself with you and moving forward as you walk along, encouraging you, challenging you. The right love has many faces: playful, passionate, tender, strong, fragile, challenging, funny, new. And it's not to be taken for granted. Love isn't about being obsessed with the other person or being dysfunctional without him. It's not a puzzle piece to be completed by another. It's a second soul to compliment your own.
There's a reason why there's a saying that opposites attract. Because the differences between you make up for the characteristics you lack. Being in love is knowing that you are whole in yourself, but still finding yourself transformed, rounded out by this person in your life. Love is a merging of two individuals to forge a new path as you walk together towards your destiny.
To Kate, it was strange that it took a man like Richard Castle to make her understand this, but then again who else could it have been? This man, whose singular ability to bring light to almost any situation, would be the only one capable to shine the light in her darkness. This man, whose lack of a father figure and two terrible divorces to mess with his family dynamic, would be the one to understand her family issues. This man, whose words reached out to her and saved her from a blank page, would be the only one who could reach through her walls and prove to her that the love she always secretly longed for was possible. Only him. Only Castle.
Yes, he was infuriating and annoying, but as the years went by, Kate found it part of his charm. She once asked him how he planned on peeling back all the layers to the Beckett Onion. What she hadn't known at the time was that he was an onion all his own. Because he was playful and childish, but he could also be serious and quiet. He was a strong and doting father. He was tender and kind but also witty and sarcastic. He was romantic and creative in his love. He was the rock in his family. He was the floodgate that opened and changed her life. He was her best friend and confidant. And they'd found a way to say all of it in just three words. Or one, depending on the moment.
Ask Katherine Beckett to describe love and she'll get this big grin on her face, her green eyes lighting up, and she'll describe everything about him, what she loves and what she doesn't.
Ask Richard Castle and the writer will be lost for words. He'll get this faraway look in his eyes as he tries to put her into words and then he'll just look across the room and stare at her. And you'll see it. That one look says everything words never could. You watch and you'll see it too. And then you'll understand.