Everyone Likes Candy

Candy showed up. Oh god she actually showed up. I imagine her like a thing that just won't go away and you probably can't kill it, I'm sure if she was set afire, she'd walk out of it like the terminator and just keep coming.

" So Mike, what's you been doing? Sam told me why you haven't been calling you know you could have told me, I'd understand, but now, we could totally go shopping together and so like be like girlfriends and you could totally tel me how good I look or how bad, cause you know guys like you have such a good eye and know fashion!" candy was giddy.

Wait what the hell she talking about? Fashion? shopping what?! " Hu?" I stare at her totally clueless on what this was about.

" You know." Candy leans in. " Your secret." She jumps when Sam suddenly scoots his chair back and runs from the dining room table. At those words, moms got this almost fearful look on her face.

I tense, Sam told her? Sam runs out the room. " What all did Sam tell you?" I tried to keep my voice from being cold or harsh. I didn't like the idea Sam could have blabbed, but Sam wouldn't have on purpose, just what did my change in species do with shopping?

" Relax, I'm not going to go blab, guess you're still in the closet about it then." Candy let out a laugh snort. " So who's the guy you're seeing?"

Guy I'm seeing? Closet? What the hell did Sam tell her?! " Uh.. Uh.." My mouths hanging open, I just don't know how to respond and I'm now thinking maybe Sam telling her what I am wouldn't been so bad. Why the hell did Sam tell her I was gay?! if anyone's gay it's his little fruit cake ass.

I shut my mouth and glance at mom, she's giggling. " Mooommmm!" I whine out. I guess mom being amused is better than her being afraid of me, but then I don't find it funny that me being gay being spread around the city. I'm not gay. Period.

"That's what I liked about you Miss. Emerson, you've been so patient and understanding with your sons." Candy nods then looks at me. " Don't worry Micheal." She reaches over and pats my hand. " Your secret's safe with me, now shoes! I smell a shopping spree!" Candy grabs my wrist and nearly rips my arm out jerking me to my feet.

Shoot me, shoot me now, stake me, burn me, of god no! " Ok." I say threw clenched teeth with a mirthless laugh. Sam I am so paying you back for this...

**** Shopping Center ****

We had to get dragged to a store that sold clothes, so we went to Sears. Yippy skippy for us how I've always dream of shopping in the girls section, even more so with Candy! Oh god someone kill me, do it now, I don't want to live... Or is it unlive?

Everyone likes Candy, if you don't happen to date her, giggly, bubbly Candy who's so happy and perfect, that is if she doesn't decide to cut your testicles off.

Now what turned me off of Candy? Well it wasn't that she's psycho bat shit flipping crazy, I didn't find that out till I actually said something to her about dating other people.

No what turned me off of her was the calls... 7 A.M. or my favorite 3 A.M. With that same annoying perky voice, at first it was cute, but then I realize she didn't sound perky only sometimes, it's all the time, like she's fed speed threw a tube each night. She always had to know what I was up to, what I was doing. jealous is also an understatement with her. She'd call about three times a day or night, like she never slept. And she was clingy.

Things got a little to serious for me when she started naming off our future children and saying how we're going to be together forever and ever and that she'll always love me even when I'm old with no teeth and she has to feed me by chewing my food for me and, well I want to gag just thinking about it. Saying the word marriage scares me, saying how we'll grow old and die together with kids terrifies me. Yay I don't have to worry about that, just... The whole mate thing.

" Hey Mike, what do you think?" Sam holds up this thing that looked like Ray Charles colored it.

" You really want me to answer that question... Sam?" I give him an irritated I hate my life why am I here kill me now look.

" Owe!" Sam rubs the back of his head looking at me with annoyance." Really Mike? I'm telling mom you hit me! What was that for?"

" That's for telling Candy I'm gay you little weasel and getting me stuck here waiting eternity for all you "girls" to finish clothes shopping and yea, girls." I press my finger into Sam's' nose. " You count as one of them."

" I do not! You, but wiper do! Blo... Er suck face ass hole." Sam tones it down, last he wants is to be grounded for life cause he cussed in Sears and got us kicked out. " Seriously, it's not that bad, being a little dramatic, Bro?"

" Not really, mom takes forever and Candy takes forever, combined likely doomsday will come and go before they're finished. And that's not adding you into things, pip squeak. I do not want to spend half my night in a store looking at jeans in different shades of blue." I huffed, I seriously hated being out shopping with mom or Sam.. Well if it's just me and Sam, I'd drag his ass out, but mom and Sam? Yea, never going to get away, ever, they will stay in a store for hours... And three hours latter walk out with a small bag. One small fucking bag?! Three hours for one small bag!

Sam shrugs. " So hey help me go pick out some pants!" Sam grabs my shirt, dragging me with him, likely enjoying my misery and inability to do anything about it at the moment. "The store closes in an hour anyway, so you're whining for nothing." Sam laughs.

I groan, an hour is still to damned long. I could leave, but then I'd have to hear about it latter, or oh god Sam would send Candy over to the cave. Though that's not sounding like a bad idea right now, I mean I can't be blamed if someone else eats her right?

**** Dressing Room ****

" So Mike! whatcha think? Candy had me in the dressing room giving opinions of what she looked like, I think she's disappointed I don't sound gay and do that hand thing and say girlfriend. She pulls out two outfits, rainbow colored, one with a rainbow t-shirt with light blue pants and one in a rainbow blouse and light blue mini skirt. " This one's for you. Oh your mom told me your size!" Candy giggle snorts and hands me the shirt and pants... I shale burn them latter... She then takes off her clothes and puts the outfit on. " Well? Put it on! you will look so fabulous!"

" I'd rather be tied to a the bumper of a truck and dragged necked over a cactus field." I say a hint of sarcasm as I stare at the thing in her hand.

" Oh you're such a kidder." She lightly swats my chest, giggle snorting. " Now put it on." This last was said in a tone of do it or I'll gut you like a fish, which made me jump, Candy has this warm smile, but her eyes said do it or else.

" Uh..." I just open and close my mouth a moment.. Candy still Scares me sorta. I wonder if Candy taste like Candy? Cause I don't want to... Then I remember. Inside a store, mom, Sam... Yea eating Candy would be bad.

" Micheal? Candy? Time to go." Mom's calling. She must have finally decided she's had enough shopping done.

" Maybe next time?" I grin then bolt out of the dressing room. Candy had this look of disappointment and also the I will kill look, but that goes away when she steps from the dressing room and is all warmth and smiles to my mom. And this is why mom likes her. Candy's all sweet and loving, unless you screw her, then you have to be the perfect man and do what she says or she may knife you in your sleep.

**** Gale Hates Candy ****

I'd say my luck, but it's not timing or anything, Gale's in the parking lot when we come out side and there's no coincidence. Naturally I'm the one holding everyone else crap, I didn't even buy anything. Well oh joy, my mortal family and the loon is about to meet Gale, one of the blood sucking undead and one who is dead set on apparently as David says, mating me.

I have the feeling that Gale's not here to shop, in fact I know she's not after what David said. Vampires don't have a gender bias, both males and females fight over mating rights when there's competition presented for the same partner. Long, vicious, bloody fights. Vampires also don't differ between human, half or other vampires over this little ritual. David I think got a sick kick out of telling me this after Gale's last attempt to "mate" me.

" So Micheal, not looking around fishing are you?" Gale says calm, to calm.

" Uh, no." There's no way to really say anything to this, I can't say ex, the moment any indication that Candy's remotely possible competition for me, there's going t be a blood bath. The big problem is how to keep Candy from indicating this possibility, or flat out stating our past relationship and generally running her mouth. though I'd seriously consider ripping her apart with gale if not for the being in public and mom and Sam witnessing it.

" Micheal? Who's this?" Mom's voice has worry edged threw it.

" A friend, she's a friend, uh nocturnal friend." Mom caught the hint and grabbed Sam's' arm and walked for the car, though trying to also not get close to Gale at the Same time. Mom had the mind to grab Candy on the way.

" Wait, what the? Hey Mike? " Candy might be psycho, but not stupid, there was tension in the air, maybe that's what kept Candy from wanting to get nosy, at least she interpreted this as not a welcomed sight, ergo not something to care about, other wise had Gale been all cuddles and ran up like a girl friend, Candy would have flipped out.

Candy is asking my mom questions, after all mom is hardly the type of person to start a car and peel out to leave me alone in the dark with some girl that oozed bad intentions... I think she's taking ques from David on how to ooze menacing evil..

" So who was that?" Gale walks up to me and runs her fingers up my chest.

" No one important, just some nut I knew back in Phoenix, just a friend." That I never broke up with that know thanks to Sam decided I'm her new gay best friend, ex boyfriend... " She's no one to worry about. Alright?"

" Are you sure Micheal?" Gale's leaning right into my face, but not making direct eye contact. She wants to screw me, not fight me.

" I'm sure, I have no interest in her, no lies,." I say innocent like. She rolls her eyes at me.

" There's more to it though." She presses herself against me, then this demented grin creeps across her face and I feel a hand go under my shirt. " Well look at this, we're all alone out in the dark parking lot, what is a girl to do?"

" Have cake?" I laugh nervously, no fear, just the whole idea that she wants. Wait, that she wants me actually is a turn on, it's the mating thing like marriage that's the turn off. Sex, get mated, no sex, no mated.. I'm not sure what sounds worse, it's something I. " Gale, someone could see." I grab Gales' hand pulling it from in my pants after I stifle a moan. ok no sex sounds worse right now, cause Gale is very handsy.

" I think I'll have you instead." Gale giggles, but her voice has the ruff tone of the vampire in it, she's barely holding back what she really is. She knows what she's doing and is persistent. " Come on." She says, grin across her face as she grabs my arm and pulls me along. She's confident in her abilities to succeed with me, but damned those fingers of hers with the feathery touch.