2: Sinead
Come on take a walk on the wild side
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain
You like your girls insane
Choose your last words, this is the last time
Cause you and I, we were born to die
Lost but now I am found
I can see but once I was blind
I was so confused as a little child
Trying to take what I could get
Scared that I couldn't find
All the answers honey
Lana Del Rey-Born to Die
It's out. It's been out. And she wasn't ashamed of it at the time. She did it for her brothers. Her poor twin triple brothers who were destroyed mental, causing there dreams of being a famous engineering team crushed like ants. She just had to find a cure, to fix all of that. She was the oldest after all. That's why she joined them. The reason why she went over to the dark side. To find the cure. She didn't mean to fall in love with him. The one who made the huge thing dark and evil.
Sinead met him on her first day as a Vesper, when she finally joined. He came down in all of his alluring glory and seductive swagger. He was sexy and sophisticated, and the first glance she got of him was like the first slip of alcohol or the first smoke of a cigarette- it was the first impression of a forever going, never ending addiction. And he was her poison. Her weakness. Her Kryptonite.
She, being herself, didn't show it though. She didn't show that when he shook her hand that it send so many shivers up her spine and made her body trampled among the shaking, collapsing her mind and heart to stop yet race at the same time. He didn't see how she looked into his onyx eyes and couldn't turn away from the beautiful darkness that did indeed looked evil but soon was overpowered by their majestic shine. The lonely and unknown darkness that made his eyes bright. He didn't see how he was in control of her in more ways then one. He literally owned her, and she wanted him too.
He stared at her down meanly as he spoke of her taking the position of the mole. How she would betray her own flesh and blood. And she obeyed. She agreed and he knew he had her then.
Time passed. She moved into the home of the Cahill siblings that hold the secret ingredients to the serum, the one that he wanted her to search around for as she gain the twos trust easily. With the two years of taking a start to his evil plan of world dominant, she became more attractive to him. He slowly took over her mind.
They became close. First, it was all 'Mrs. Starling' and 'Yes, Sir', moving gracefully and swiftly along to 'Sweet Sinead' and 'Damian'. She spend more time in his office and there small, professional talk turned into intense, seductive flirting. She did anything for his attention. More of him at her with his dark, daring eyes. She got more information then he needed. Took care of a few 'problems' for him. And when ever they had a secret meeting or so, Sinead would wear shorter and tighter skirts with lower cut tops. She actually put make up on and let her hair down.
She only did it all for her brothers at the beginning but he became the second reason soon afterwards. It was a week after the seven were capture, and she began her job as the mole, that the intense feeling between them for so long finally broke and evolved into something so much more...
He texted her that morning saying to meet him at the park in town around 2 AM. She followed his orders like always, dressed in dark colors with her gun and flashlight at her side.
She traveled around the park for what seemed like forever till she finally found him at the swings, waiting for her. She came to him, and he ordered her to take a seat on the swing him offered to her. She did, and what she thought would be either the death or 'mysterious disappearance' of her as he went to her back, was indeed not so.
Strangely, he didn't stabbed her. He pushed her. Her pushed her on the swing set and when she turned to look at him, he was smiling at her. Really smiling at her. Not the smile that was like a smirk full of arrogance and prideful power. The real smile that happy human beings had.
She smiled back. And they spend the next five hours just doing that. Swinging and smiling.
Soon it became a daily thing. She would go on with her act in front of the nerdy ginger and the British cobra, but at night run over to the park to meet up with him and spend the night with him. Either swinging on the rusty old park swing set for kids half there age or walking through the park in the dark, racing each other at random times or just talking as they sit on a bench that some hobo wasn't sleeping on. It didn't matter to her. On the seventh or eighth night he finally kissed her next to the water fountain, and she couldn't feel her lips for the next three days.
She never asked him about it and still didn't have the guts to to this day, but she guessed that they were a couple. Just a secret couple. True, he was about ten years older and the enemy but so was she. That and they hold hand and kissed and flirted and hugged and did other couple stuff... So yes...
She couldn't help but blush at the memories of so.
With the nightly visits, Sinead only gotten about three hours of sleep. So he gave her a pills that helped her body recharged without the lost hours of sleep. He said at the time he cared for her and wanted her to be her best and she couldn't do so when she was constantly tired. She believed him, sadly, and swallowed the two horse size pills. That's when it all went down hill.
She didn't know what but something inside him changed and it effected her emotionally and physically. The nightly visits no longer happen and she was left alone without his love or company. She stilled received and followed the orders he gave her but the bond between them began to fade. And guilt raised inside her everyday. Little by little, the bitter absence of him ate her alive, chewing parts of her heart and soul. Everyday she went and barely survived without his love, she died.
A long and painful and merciless and Vesper-like death.
Then everything exploded up in her face when she was discovered. When she shot off her best friend's ear after that ginger nerd sold her out. She all knew was coming and was somewhat glad it did. But when he turn his back on her, when he abandoned, she finally broke.
He said he couldn't have her work for him anymore. That his greedy need for world wide control was bigger then them. She finally broke...
He loved her, she knew he did an he admitted he did. But he believed that his Vesper heritage was more important. That he had to do this.
Then he promised her his promise. He gave his word to her then. Rather it was the whole pure truth or just a false statement to stop her crying, she will never knew, but he took her hand and said he would make her his queen once the world was his and slipped his prize position ring on her finger as proof. He said he was sorry for lying to her, that it was for her safety. That,Sinead knew, was true.
Then he kissed her for the millionth time over the pass six months. And there, in that crappy motel room, he made love to her the whole night. Never leaving sheets till the morning.
That day, when she later on heard about the chaos of the world and saw the odd color of the sky, it all hit her. There was a strong possibility that no one would survived this. But knew for sure when he called her later that day and took her so. That's when she went crawling back to her family, because the love of her life told her to save herself, and leave the king to face his destiny.
And she did. And Sinead Starling will never forgive herself for that.
She would never forgive herself for leaving her Damien to die. The fight they should have fought together...
Sinead always saw the quarrelsome battle-war-between the Cahills and Vespers was more like a game of chess then a never ending chase of cat and mouse. The Cahills were the bright shiny white piece- as they stood for peace and were the innocent ones in the match- as the Vespers were the cold, harsh black pieces that were nothing more then merciless souls and cruel human beings that were not only evil to the rivals across the board but to each other. At least the Cahills were a family, at least there was a little love in the mix. The Vespers didn't have that. Just hatred. Greed.
She actually believed that they were different from the rest. That they would both survive and live happily ever after with her cured brothers and the love of her life...
She hates herself for leaving him. For not jumping in and saving him as he vanished- vaporized- right in front of her. She should have stayed in the game. She should have done her job. She should have stayed a hellish monster black instead of bleaching into a painfully clean, bright white. For once, She didn't want to be the good guy. She wanted to do her job as the Black Queen of the game, of the Vespers. But she failed her duty to do so. She betrayed him for whatever reason that wasn't right. In the end, she was wrong.
The Queen should have gone down with her King.
Thanks for reading and sorry for the long update and bad grammar.