Chapter 15: If Only

"Severus," Mimi gave Snape a curt nod and tried to step around him. She didn't want any trouble tonight.

"Where do you think you're going McMahon?" Snape grabbed her wrist, "Surely you want to stay here with me." Mimi pulled a face.

"Snape it's obvious you've had a bit too much to drink," she spat rudely at him as she tried to uncurl his fingers.

"Ahh yes that's it. Why else would I, a 'greasy Slytherin Death Eater' want to spend some time with the Gryffindor beauty? Especially when she was all alone without her little boyfriends," He said bringing his face down to her level. Mimi winced as his alcohol filled breath hit her nose and she reached around for her wand.

"Let me go," Mimi demanded as she tried to get her wand, but she couldn't find it. Had she left it upstairs? Had she brought it at all? Questions flowed through her head as Snape moved closer.

"I don't think I am going to let you go yet," He whispered his mouth a centimeter away from her own, Mimi stepped back than instantly regretted doing so. She was now trapped against the wall of the pub as Snape neared her.

"What's wrong McMahon? You do it with that pig Black all the time," he sneered down at her. He raised her arms immobile above her head and shoved his lips against hers.

"Get off of me you slimy git!" Mimi erupted pushing him as far back as possible. He flew backwards and hit a tree hard. For a second he didn't move and Mimi made for the door as fast as she could.

"Fucking bitch," Snape cursed as he got up. Mimi was halfway through the door when she felt Snape grasp the back of her dress.

"Where do you think your going McMahon? Don't want to play now? Don't want to make your good-for-nothing parents proud?" He growled at her.

"Get the fuck away from me!" Mimi shouted panicking. She didn't have her wand and Snape wasn't thinking clearly (he was bad enough sober.)

"I told you if you ever talked to me like that again I'd kill you McMahon. I tried to be nice and have a little fun and you were a rude little bitch to me," Snape said and Mimi began doing the only thing she could think of: screaming.

"HELP! SIRIUS, JAMES! REMUS, PETER! ANYONE HELP ME PLEASE!" She cried. Snape grew furious at the racket she was making.

"Shut up!" He commanded his wand pointed in between her eyes.

"SIRIUS!" Sirius's name escaped Mimi's lips just as Snape said softly, "Avada Kedavra."

----

"Did you hear that?" Sirius asked, he thought her heard Mimi calling out their names.

"Hear what?" Peter asked and Sirius shrugged it off.

"Never mind," he said. The group returned to the conversation they were having when Sirius heard it again.

"It's Mimi she's calling my name," Sirius said and he quickly got up and left the room. He flew downstairs and began knocking on the bathroom door.

"Meems? You alright love?" He asked through the door, but he received no reply.

"Meems?" He asked knocking harder, but still received no response. He sighed resolutely and began thinking where else she would be. He was struck with an idea and he hurried outside, nothing could ever have prepared him for the sight that greeted him there. He stood in shock as he looked down upon Mimi's crumpled and deserted figure.

"Meems? Meems can you hear me?" He dropped down beside her and picked her up in his arms. She was deathly cold and he felt for her heart rate, but he couldn't find it.

"Meems wake up come on love, wake up," he said not wanting to believe she was gone.

"Get up! Come on!" He screamed into her lifeless face.

"Please Meems…" he said his voice drifting off as he began to cry. He lent down against her chest and sobbed. She was gone.

"Is that Sirius screaming?" Remus asked as he heard Sirius's desperate cries. James pricked his ear and listened.

"Oh Merlin!" He said and pretty soon everyone was downstairs.

"Padfoot!" James called as he heard someone crying outside. The group burst through the doors and looked down.

"Sirius, what happened?" James asked dropping down next to his sobbing friend.

"She's gone James, she's gone," Sirius said.

"What?" Remus croaked from above them.

"She's dead," Sirius said looking down at his girlfriend. The marauders dropped down around her and bent their heads.

"N-no she's not. She just went to the bathroom," Lily stuttered from behind them.

"Lily," Remus began sensing she was about to have an attack.

"She's not dead! She's not why are you guys like this? She's just- she's just playing a joke. Yes, that's it! Haha Mimi I figured it out now come on," Lily cried.

"Lily," Remus said again.

"What? Come on you guys are the Marauders surely you can see through this prank," Lily said.

"Lily shut up," Remus finally shouted at her. He instantly regretted it (and thought James would hit him) but everyone just stood frozen. A solitary tear dripped down Lily's cheek as she gazed upon her friends.

"Who did this?" Lily croaked and Sirius looked up as this question dawned upon him.

"I'll kill him!" Sirius growled suddenly jumping up, "I'll kill his filthy ass."

"Padfoot, you don't know who did this," Peter said staring down in horror at Miranda.

"It was Snape. I know it was that piece of shit," Sirius said again as anger coursed through him.

"You don't know that Sirius, calm down," Remus tried to reason with him.

"I know it! He threatened her and I did nothing! She called my name for help and I didn't come for her. She called my name…" Sirius broke down and lent his head down on Remus shoulder crying.

"The last thing she said was my name and I didn't come," he cried. Remus patted Sirius's back and told him it was alright and Sirius cried harder.

"We need to bring her to the school," Arabella said suddenly and everyone turned to look at her.

"She's right," James said and everybody in turn looked at him. He had been silent since Sirius had told him what happened. Sirius nodded and bent down to scoop Mimi up and he walked bold faced to the castle with the forlorn group trailing behind.

----

"Professor Dumbledore we want to know who did it!" Sirius raged in Dumbledore's office an hour later. As soon as they returned to the school they raced to Dumbledore's office but now, Sirius was loosing his temper fast. He still had the (right) suspicion it was Snape but he wanted Dumbledore to confirm it.

"Mr. Black, I have the feeling you already found the answer," Dumbledore said his eyes drawn downward.

"Bloody fucking right I do! But I want you to tell me! I want you to admit that a student in you mother fucking school killed her, I want you to admit it," Sirius yelled and Remus placed a hand on his friends shoulder to back him down.

"Mr. Black, I want to punish the perpetrator for this horrible horrible act just as much as you do, but I cannot condemn the innocent," Dumbledore said softly.

"The innocent! Mimi was innocent and look what happened to her," Sirius threw up his hands his anger practically drowning him.

"I have to go," Sirius said suddenly and fled Dumbledore's office. He ran down the corridors and to the passage that lead to the Shrieking Shack. He slid down into the one building he had denied Mimi access. He couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't take Dumbledore's replies or Remus's warnings or James's silence or Peter's shock or the girls sobbing. He couldn't take it!

"Dammit!" He yelled and threw a chair across the room, feeling crude satisfaction as it splintered against the wall. He picked up another chair and whipped it across the room taking pleasure in the satisfaction again. He threw and kicked and destroyed things until finally his anger disappeared, and all there was left was raw sadness.

"Meems," he whispered softly as he collapsed down on the floor his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I am sorry I wasn't there! I could've saved you! I'm sorry for everything," he said shaking his head and pounding the floor.

"I wasn't there for you… I promised I'd always be there for you and I wasn't. I wasn't there for you!" He shouted up to the rafters.

"But we'll be here for you now, Sirius," a voice spoke from behind him and he shifted to see the shadowy figures of Remus, James, and Peter. They walked over and plopped down next to him.

"If I had only walked out there," Sirius whispered to his friends but James shook his head.

"If only I hadn't planned that stupid dinner… if only I'd sent Lily to the bathroom with her," he said but Remus shook his head.

"She called all our names if only I had actually used my werewolf hearing," he told them but Peter shook his head.

"If only I told you guys I had heard something too," he said and they all shook their heads.

"We were supposed to protect her," Sirius whispered again, "and we failed." Everyone sat silent for a moment absorbing this in.

"I loved her," Sirius spoke again and this time everyone nodded. Yet deep down they knew it was different, deep down they knew that in time they would be able to mend their broken hearts, but Sirius, Sirius's heart would never be the same.

A/N: Hey guys! Okay don't worry its not over yet their will be a some what happy ending!! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW