Everyone just has to… Oh God I cannot handle this! What am I supposed to do now? This wasn't supposed to happen!

Chapter XVII: No more lies

This shouldn't be happening! This trip is meant to make us stronger as a group and I will not let… God! They have to stop yelling. I can't take this anymore. They have to…

"SHUT UP" I scream "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS!"

"But Bloom…" Sky says

"SHUT UP! I don't care! What do you think you're doing? We can freaking die here and you're just arguing!" I yell angrily.

"We need a plan!" I say "And I have one." Tecna and Timmy are looking very interested right now. I go to them and tell them.

"Can it work?" I ask and they both nod as an answer.

"Could you help me to allocate the tasks?" I ask, suddenly insecure.

"Yeah sure" Tecna says, looking at Timmy, who stares back at her.

"Bloom we need needle and thread." Timmy says

"I don't think that will be a problem." I say smiling and looking at Stella.

"Right." Tecna nods and goes to Stella.

"Maybe everyone should apologise first." I say, now that I got everyone's attention. Soon everyone says "Sorry". I have a feeling that I should apologise too and that everyone expects that of me but… I… I'm just scared everything goes wrong when I try to apologise for my behaviour and… I sigh.

"Let's get going then!" I say and within a few seconds, everybody is working very hard. Even Stella. When there's a big chance she will die, she'll do something; really. You wouldn't say that by looking at her; but really!

"Um guys, we don't have any time left" Layla says, sticking her head out off the shutter.

"Are we ready to go?" I ask Tecna and Timmy.

"It will be risky…" Tecna says and then Timmy continues "… but it'll work."

They smile slightly at each other.

"Okay then" I say after letting out a big sigh. We all hold on to our improvised plane and just as the cable tears, we fall down. It's going pretty well; a little too fast perhaps but… OH! Everything is white here. We have fallen into the snow.

I get my head out off the snow and everyone else is also out now. We're all looking at each other, unsure what to say.

"I am so sorry!" I suddenly blurt out and… everyone is staring at me right now. Oh, they want me to continue. Huh!

"I know I shouldn't have reacted that way; but I was just scared because I didn't know what was going to happen and I'm sorry; I've been Miss Cranky too long. But I've made up my mind and…" I sigh "That's how things will be."

"Oh Bloom!" Stella says and all the girls say things like that and that they hug me. This feels amazing. Sky glares at me; he's furious. I knew it; you know. But this is the just the way it'll be.

"Okay then!" Musa yells "Let's get out off these clothes 'cause I'm just soakin'!"

"Yeah let's go." Layla agrees and I am surprised she didn't propose that. We go to our rooms and I lay in my bed, thinking. I can't sleep.

It's not cold outside; it's actually pleasant. I walk around for a few minutes in the gardens and then I stand still by a small yet beautifully decorated well. I lean on it and look into the water. I like water; well I like looking at it; dreaming; just thinking… The last time I was looking in a well I was thinking about Sky and I actually saw his image in the well. I thought about Daphne then too. I know a lot more now; I've been through a lot and I survived. Still I am here staring again at the calm water. I actually think water and fire are alike. Sure they are opposites; but they have things in common. Like fire, water can unexpectedly turn against you. I know I have the Dragon Fire and blabla water and blabla opposites; but water fascinates me as much as fire. I wonder where I get that from. It's actually all around me; I mean, my hair is fire and my eyes are water. I never saw it that way. I am beginning to think very philosophic here. Philosophic me! I see that in my reflection, a smile is playing around my lips. And eventually my thoughts drift back to Sky. Did I make the right choice? I can't doubt about that.

Suddenly I see Sky floating in the well. But I am not daydreaming or something like that! How is it possible that I can see him there? He's standing behind me and he lays a hand on my shoulder in the silent water. All of a sudden I actually feel a hand on my shoulder. I startle and turn around only to see

"Sky!" I am so stupid! He was actually here. I am sooooo incredibly dumb. Unbelievable. And I thought I did something special. But it was scary!

"God you scared me!" I say, still shocked.

"Yeah it looked that way." He just says. What is he going to say to me?

"I know you're angry with me" I start but he immediately cuts me off.

"You have no idea how furious I am!" he yells

"Shhh!" I say "We're going to wake the others"

"No we're not! You're just trying to make me stop talking!" NO! Okay, yes but come on!

"I don't understand why you said that! You can't do this to me! Bloom; I need something; I need a spark of hope. Just…" he stops when he sees tears in my eyes. I wasn't supposed to cry! He wants to touch me but I move away and look at him.

"I can't give you that." I say silently bowing my head

"What did you say?" he asks and then asks again, angrier "What did you say?"

"I can't give you any spark of hope Sky!" I yell desperately and frustrated. Tears stream down my face.

"There is nothing left!" I cry, trying to explain. He looks at me, dreadful. My sign to continue.

"I thought we like each other when we first met; we got closer and I loved you even more when I saw you with Diaspro because I knew you were my all! You were it! This may sound like some fairytale fantasy to you but that's how I saw it; and I knew you didn't see it like that but I was happy. Come on Sky; we were happy! And then the pretending started and I thought everything was lost. I was in heaven because I met Avalon and he was the only chance to learn about my past and it was like you just didn't grant me that. All because of your stupid jealousy. It was ridiculous and it made me feel lost. Because you wouldn't support me and you wouldn't listen to me! Then that one day came and we had the fight and when I saw you lying there; it didn't even feel half as bad as I did when I caught you with Layla. I thought I was going to die with you and I realized it: you were the one." I pause to catch my breath and order my thoughts.

"But I saved you" I continue and I sigh "And we were shiny and happy again. Everything was going perfect and then it happened." I look at him, suddenly angry.

"You slept with her; you freaking fucked her!" I yell "And after my heart was shattered into a million pieces you come after me to tell me it's over between us!" Oh he's lucky I don't have magic here; because I so would've kicked his ass by now.

"You didn't even care!" I shout and he tries to speak "Bloom; that wasn't me; I mean…"

"That's the thing; it was you! You hurt me and now you want me to forgive you!"

"YES!" he yells "That's what I want and you want it too, don't you?"

"I can't!" I cry. Why can't he understand that? "I cannot forgive you like that and you are trying to make me forgive you; but that's not how it works! I have to want to forgive you! And the more I think about it; the more I come to the inevitable; we…"

"No! Bloom; don't say it. That's not what you want!"

"Don't dare to tell me what I want! You don't have any business in that anymore; we're thru." Finally; there it is. He looks like he's going to cry. I grab his hands; almost crying myself too.

"I'm so sorry; but there is no other way. This has to end. And I know you're trying really hard and…" I smile "You are a great kisser; but that's not how it works. This; … we could happen another time; but it'll take time and frankly now I don't see how I will ever be able to forgive you."

"But you'll try right? You'll try really hard."

"You know me the best." I half sob, half speak. He nods and then he hugs me. He understands right? I know he doesn't; but I don't get it either. Suddenly I feel happy, light and more important; stronger. The next moment I am floating in the air, transformed with the Dragon behind me, spreading a bright orange light. I moan because yes this feels great but it hurts for a while, receiving this magic; but then I see it; a beautiful jewel on my blouse. My Charmix! It works; I did it! But what did I do? I shouldn't think about it too much; but then I see him and I know it; I just know it. I realize this magic won't last any long since it already lifted me up in the air and showed me the Dragon; so I get on the ground as normal Bloom again. Sky looks at me; amazed. I understand this must be weird to him; and to confuse him even more I walk towards him and I kiss him on the cheek.

"Thank you" I say; but this is about something else than when he asked me to thank him. This is for me. The next thank you will be for him.

But that will take a while. I need time. To heal. But I'll make it. Eventually.