I need time. To heal. But I'll make it. Eventually.
Chapter XVIII: Aftermath
I get back in bed but I notice Flora isn't sleeping.
"Flora? Are you awake?" I ask. Stupid me; off course she is!
"Yes" she sighs. Ow, very big sigh. I get in bed with her and she smiles thankfully.
"I just got my Charmix" I say, just to tell someone who understands. She looks at me, amazed.
"Bloom sweetie that's amazing!" she exclaims. "I know how you can get one; did it have something to do with Sky?" she asks happily with a glint in her eyes. I look at her flowery sheets and say dreary
"Sadly, it did." She looks at me and shakes her head "Oh God Bloom you didn't!"
"I broke up with him; I really broke it off; and…" I start crying "I keep wondering if I did the right thing and why I got my Charmix for something like that!" I sob and she pulls me into a hug.
"It hurts, Flora; that's all it does! I just… did I really make the right choice?"
"If you got a Charmix for that; it must've been really important"
"But I didn't even really wanted to do it" I cry hysterically.
"Shhhh. Calm down, Bloom" she whispers. Then she picks up the phone and she calls all the girls. Within a few minutes; correction, seconds they all stand in the room. They all look tired until they see me, crying.
"What's wrong Bloom?" Stella asks worriedly; but I can't answer. She looks at Flora.
"Flora, what's wrong with her?"
"She just got her Charmix." Flora says as if that's something bad.
"But Flo! That's great!" Musa exclaims
"Wow that's amazing! She must be 50 stronger now! I bet she can even transform here."
"Tecna; come on" Stella says "I don't understand; this is wonderful.
"Bloom, you must be proud" Layla says
"She got it because she broke up with Sky. She said she couldn't take it anymore; take him anymore and… that's when she got it." Flora rapidly says
"That's awful!" Stella exclaims. Tell me about it! She walks over to me immediately and sits next to me.
"God Bloom, that sucks!" Musa says and she comes sitting by the side of the bed.
Tecna just can't believe it; she stands there, her mouth hanging open. She looks at me and says
"God I am so stupid! I mean what I said at Adquistes… I…"
"It's okay Tecna, you didn't know."
"What did she say then?" Stella asks curiously.
"It was nothing Stell" I say and usually she wouldn't leave it like this, but this time she nods and says "Okay."
"Why?" Layla asks and she comes closer to me. Off course she had to be one to ask that! Un-freaking-believable!
"I couldn't" I say "Forgive him." I sniff "He tried really hard you know because you probably didn't know this but we kissed a lot in the past few weeks and it was amazing, that's true… but…"
"Wait a minute; you kissed him and you didn't tell us?" Stella asks
"So I need to kiss and tell then?" I ask, smiling slightly.
"Hell yeah!" Musa yells.
"It happened in Adquistes didn't it?" Tecna asks softly
"Among others. In Adquistes… He was looking for me in the shops and Musa, you know what happened then right?" I ask and look at her.
"Yeah, I remember."
"What did she do? Did she go to the lingerie department?" Stella asks and Musa and I laugh.
"No! I hid!" I reply
"What? Oh, that's so lame!" Stella exclaims
"Well thank you! Anyhow, he found me, sitting in a cubicle."
"He just tore the curtain?" Tecna asks "Well that's rude."
"I think it's hot" Musa says and Stella and Layla nod in agreement.
"So he got in the cubicle with me and I got mad because he'd interrupted me earlier when I was talking to Tecna and now he was standing in my cubicle! The nerve! Then he said 'I love it when you're mad' or something like that and he just kissed me; well not just kissed me. But… wow! It turned me on! I can't describe it; it was like…"
"Okay enough with the details" Layla suddenly says. I laugh at her reaction.
"See that's what I thought too; I mean eww! He cheated on me and then he kisses me passionately whenever he wants to?! On the way to our hotel here I realized I couldn't take it any longer; and then here in the gardens, a few minutes ago, I broke up with him. It was the best and worst thing that had happened to me, I guess." I sigh and bow my head.
"I didn't do the right thing did I? Maybe I should go to him and tell him I didn't mean it. But maybe then I will lose my Charmix!" I rattle
"You cannot lose your Charmix." Tecna says "But I wouldn't do it" she finishes.
"Why not?" Flora asks
"I know, I know! But I feel so bad!" I say and I bury my head in Flora's pillow.
"Come on Bloom, we'll find you someone new! Well, not when you look like this, but still…" Stella says
"Hey!" I yell and throw a pillow at her, causing her to fall of the bed.
"Pillow fight!" Musa screams and within a few seconds, it's chaos! Pillows, sheets, girls,… are flying all over the place. Everything is used as a weapon and we even search for pillows in the other rooms of the hotel. I know now. I won't make it through; we will make it through.
I'm broken. Really. Finally; to be honest. I have cracked. I fought it; I tried; but I lost. I am not used to that and God it hurts. It hurts like hell. I must be painful for him too; but I always thought that the one that breaks it off is more hurt than the 'victim'. Maybe it hurts more when you actually say it to that person; but they get over it. When you break up with someone; you don't get over it so easily; not if you love them. I should use a past tense now; but I am not ready to say I loved him. You don't get over it; it keeps hurting; it keeps bothering you everytime you see that person. You wonder 'Did I make the right choice?' and before you know you're sorry; and not just sorry; you're heart-broken because you know you ruined something beautiful, something special. You didn't want to but you just did. And you cannot bear it. That's how I feel and really truly hope that I can learn how to handle it. I don't say 'get over it' 'cause I know that's pointless. I will never get over it. He will, he's stronger. It's like now that I've broken up with him I want him back even more than before.
Love. It's strange. No, cross that out. Love hurts.
A/N: So… emotional chapter. It was necessary after the last chapter. In the next chapters I will continue with the story. Putting Bloom's thoughts so much in this chapter was inevitable. I kinda put my own experiences in that last part sniffs but I hope you don't mind; because that's what I think writing is about; showing who you really are and what you really feel. I hope I can post another chapter soon, but I doubt it since my pile of homework is growing every day and I really don't have time in the weekend. But I'll try, I'll try; only for you guys ;)
Thanx 4 the reviews, keep 'em coming, 'cause they keep me inspired plus I like your reactions D
Xoxo
IsisIsabella