Disclaimer: The show Grey's Anatomy is not mine, and neither are the characters, I am not receiving any profit from this work. Everyone in this story belongs to Shondaland. I'm just going to play with the characters for a bit. I'll return them in tact... mostly. T for language and content. Rating may change, eventually. All mistakes are mine.

There is a bit of dialogue that isn't written by me. Its taken and copied directly out of wikea. The lines are from the show. You will recognise it, if you are familiar with season 9. Not mine! Shonda Rhimes. I've marked it in italics and quotation marks.

I'm going to try to weave elements of cannon into this story. The details won't always be the same as on the show, but where I can stick to current events I will. I changed the story cover. It's a Phoenix obviously:). A Phoenix tattoo. Do you see where I'm going with this minor detail? Please say yes.

Just a filler and a minor reprieve from the drama. This week is really chockers so I may not be able to update daily, i'll do my best though.

Oh, one other thing. Please don't think I condone physical violence. I don't. These ladies are at breaking point. A lot can happen when you're that lost.

My wife has agreed to go back and edit my, "charming dyslexic moments." Lol. She's the best! The previous chapters will be fixed, gradually.

...

Cristina couldn't seem to find Arizona. Callie and her had disappeared somewhere after the board meeting. She sent another page to meet her for a consult. She wanted to get this exam out of the way before finishing up her shift, so she was filling in time updating instructions on patient's chart and care. Nurses did the main administration of files, baring certain details such as medication which was handled by the doctors. Christina, was double checking and waiting for a response from Doctor Robbins, she had very little to do. She was that good! Ticking off charts as she made her way round the cardiology unit, Cristina reflected on the afternoon. It had been uncomfortable and awkward sitting next to Callie. The thinly veiled angry eye-sex between the Callie and Arizona had been making her nauseous, but, at least it had provided some entertainment.

It had been such a boring boardroom meeting, so Christina had let her mind wander freely, only saying something when asked by Owen. She had busied her mind by observing other people. Avery and Derrick had been only one listening; Meredith was miles away, probably thinking about baby stuff. Avery looked conceited as usual. Throughout the meeting Callie had looked like she wanted to rip her wife's head off AND rip her wife's cloths off, AND take her right there on the board room table. Ew, so not appropriate! Arizona had looked shattered and hopeful; casting bashful and longing looks Callie's way when she thought she wasn't being observed. They were pretty messed up; so obvious and clueless. Miles apart yet yearning to be together. It was sad.

Mind you, Owen and her and were in a similar mess. It was so gut wrenching to see that he was interested in that boring, one dimensional woman. The one with the depth of a Zola's 'Dora the Explorer', wading pool. What was her name again? Ah yes, it was Emma Marling. Who dates someone with a name like Marling itsounds like a fish! A fish swimming in a kiddie pool with Owen and there 10 children. Perfect. Absolutely freaking perfect! So perfect it made Cristina want to dance with joy. Did no one get the fact that not everyone wanted children. Hah Marling equals Marlin. Pointy nosed fish woman!

She needed someone to share her joke with. Meredith would get the joke. She needed Meredith. Meredith had cut her out. Surgically and clinically removed since their miscommunication two weeks ago. Christina no longer felt that there was a place for. Her person had left her, a stranger now. Halloween being the most recent example. She had just stood there and watched Zola, Tuck, Sophia and a couple of other children get ready to go out and she had felt like a complete outsider, leaving her cupcakes on the table and going to the bar. Maybe sleeping with Sharkie hadn't been the best idea. He was alright. A bit lifeless and cold. He was strong. Kinda reminded her of Preston Burke. She shivered, goosebumps, appearing on her arms.

That had been a lucky escape! Whatever agnst Owen and her were going through it was still preferable to Burke. Maybe Sharkie was a step back. He reminded Cristina of herself, in the days before she had met Doctor Craig Thomas. A kindly old man, who was very good at what he did, he had taken Cristina under his wing and shown her how to be human.

"Breathe, Dr. Yang. Don't be crass. You're skulking. Women of your generation are graceless. It's an affront to nature. Mediocre surgeons will see you and feel themselves wilting in your shadow. Do not shrink to console them. Do not look for friends here. You won't find them. None of these people have the capacity to understand you. They never will. If you're lucky, one day when you're old and shriveled like me, you will find a young doctor with little regard for anything but their craft. And you'll train them like I trained you. Until then, read a good book. You have greatness in you, Yang. Don't disappoint."

Yep. She mourned him. He was wonderful. He was both a father and a brother to her. He'd get the Marlin joke. She felt a tap on her shoulder, it was Callie.

"Hey, Christina I was looking for you, what are you doing tonight. I finish soon and Meredith and Derrick have agreed to take Sophia for the night. I was thinking about heading over to Joe's." Callie looked wrecked. She was drawn, pale and trembling. She looked like she was trying not to cry. "I need lots of tequila and dancing and hot sweaty bodies".

"Oh Callie, I was trying to do a consult on Riley before I finished up but sure. After?"

"I checked with Alex, Arizona admitted him and then went home, we're all set, pleeeeeeeeeease Cristina?! In the spirit of old roommates? Both of our lives are a mess. Let's hang out and be miserable together?"

"Say yes, yes right?" Callie pleaded with her, her body doing a little jingle as her eyes widened making her look like that funny cat in Shriek. Yep, Zola had rubbed off on her. Cristina felt empty.

"Why not, I don't have anything better to do, let me get changed, and I'll meet you there?"

"Yay!" Callie gave her a hug. It was one sided. Cristina stood there stiffly waiting for it to be over. They walked up to the attending a quarters to change.

"Callie, Owen's dating a women by the name of Marling."

"Yeah I know, that must suck for you, huh?"

"Eh, I'm coping. Besides her name sounds like a fish. Fish- Marlin get it? And her nose is pointy?" Cristina waited hopefully, waiting for Callie to get her joke.

"Haha, that's quite funny" Callie laughed but the smile didn't reach her eyes, he mind occupied with other things, "so... see you there?" Callie opened her locker and changed into her red shirt, black pants and boots. She shrugged into her trusty leather jacket.

"Yep, I'll be there directly" Cristina had taken her top off and changed into a black singlet, jeans and her swede jacket.

"Christina, there's something I've been meaning to ask you, how do you stop looking for someone when you're sleeping? It happens to me every night. Its a crappy way to start the day." Callie's eyes had widened. She shook her head and blinked a couple of times. "Stupid migraine, I need a coffee". They exited the attending's room walked down the hospital corridor towards the lift. They took the lift down to the bottom floor.

"Try a body pillow, they are really good" Cristina filled in the blanks, she looked at Callie quizzically. Callie was blinking again.

"Ooh good idea." Callie said. They walked down to the coffee stand together. Each purchasing a drink before exiting the hospital.

"So I'll see you about 8?"

"Count on it", Cristina smiled. Maybe there were other people who could appreciate her. She walked out into the rain to get her car.