Chapter 22
Not really sure how to approach Bianca, Jon definitely had to talk to her. He took one last drag of his cigarette and flicked it over the balcony, picking up his empty coffee cup. Walking back inside, he refilled it, put another pot on and then detoured to Bianca's room, knocking softly on the door. Jon frowned, hearing something through it and thought he heard her speak, so he cracked the door open, his heart breaking at the sight. She was on her knees near the bed sobbing violently. Closing the door, Jon set his coffee cup on the dresser and immediately squatted down in front of Bianca, hooking his index finger beneath her chin forcing her eyes to meet his.
"Bianca, what's wrong sweetheart?" His voice was thick with concern, worry evident in his blues. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? What can I do?"
Bianca couldn't stop crying even if a gun was pressed to her temple at that moment, especially at the sight of Jon. There was so much concern in his beautiful blue eyes. Myron had told her to be happy again, to move on and live her life without him. He gave her his blessing about Jon, even though his name never came up in the dream. Bianca could read between the lines.
"H-How can he expect me to…do this? To go on and live my life and be happy with someone else? H-How can he come to me and make demands to live again without him?! H-How am I supposed to do this?! I don't know how to do this! I-I don't even know where to start! H-He wants to take this off and I don't know if I have the strength to do it! I-It's been a part of me for so long, I'd feel foreign without it, but that's what he wants me to do! H-He wants me to-to-to…"
She couldn't go on anymore, her voice cracking all over the place and felt Jon wrap his arms around her tightly, burying her face in his chest as her tears soaked through the shirt he wore, her entire body trembling violently. Bianca was falling apart at the seams and it was all because of her deceased husband's demands! Jon could feel her trembling in his arms and immediately lifted her from the floor, walking over to lay her in bed. He wasn't sure if she was physically hurt or what was going on. When he started to roll away to see if he should call the trainer down to check on him, Bianca clung to him for dear life. Jon sighed, tightening his arms around her and decided, if this is what she needed he wouldn't let her down. Not for anything. His fingers stroked her hair and back as Jon tried getting her to calm down enough to talk to him.
"It's okay, sweetheart." He said in a low raspy voice, his mouth by her ear. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay with you all day and night if this is where you need me." Kissing the top of her head, Bianca became unraveled in his arms and Jon felt his heart break at least a 1,000 times, possibly more, at the sounds of her violent sobbing. It sounded like her soul was being ripped from her body piece by piece and Jon had no idea how to help her.
Several hours later, Bianca finally stopped sobbing and just silently cried, her grip on Jon never ceasing. Every time he went to move, she would just tighten her grip a little more, not saying a single word. Her eyes were red-rimmed, swollen and bloodshot from how much crying she'd done. The breakdown was a long time coming. Honestly, Bianca hadn't really broken down when Myron died and instead isolated herself in Washington, pushing everyone who cared about and loved her away. She just wanted to be completely alone to wallow in self-pity and live in denial that Myron was dead. After that eye-opening dream, it had been the very thing to crack the dam open and she couldn't live in denial anymore. Myron was dead. Myron was gone. Her wonderful husband would never breathe again; she had to accept it and move on with her life. He would always be a part of her, but honestly Bianca had to let him go and knew the only way to do it was removing the ring. The man who held her currently was alive, flesh and blood with a beating heart. And he had feelings for her, though Bianca had no idea how deep than ran. If she was going to try to have something with Jon, it would be EXTREMELY slow because Myron had been the only man she'd ever been with.
"Thank you." She murmured quietly, staring at his chest and closed her eyes when Jon kissed the top of her head, feeling the warmth flood her body again. Slowly pulling away and releasing her hold on him, Bianca winced since her hands were a little stiff from holding on so tight for so long, managing to push herself up to sit on the bed beside him. "Jon, I need your help with something important. Will you do what I ask and not say a word about it?"
Jon took her hands and rubbed his thumb across the top of them gently, trying to make the aching vanish, the concern never ceasing in his eyes. "I'll do whatever you want if you just tell me you're okay." He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand and kissed her forehead softly. "You really had me worried, sweetheart. Just tell me you're okay, please."
"I will be." Bianca wholeheartedly believed that and enjoyed the warmth of his hands against hers, trying to knead the soreness out of them. She had a death grip on Jon's shirt for 3 solid hours, which was a long time in the positioned she'd been in. "I'm sorry I worried you. I just…I sort of had an epiphany and it hit me a lot harder than I thought it would…"
She could feel fresh tears brimming in her eyes and lowered her gaze to their clasped hands, the diamond ring glittering back at her. There was no turning back. Bianca took a few deep breaths and finally looked back up at Jon, pulling her left hand out of his and held it up to him.
"I need you to take it off for me." It was a simple request, her voice a little stronger and definitely full of certainty. "It's time…and I can't do it alone. So please take it off for me." This would be step one in her healing process and Bianca hoped Jon meant what he said about having feelings for her. "Please help me, Jon…"
"Are – are you really sure THIS is what you want me to do? I mean, I know I said I'd do anything, but I want you to be really sure." Jon was wide eyed and frowned, watching her nod and licked his suddenly dry lips, taking her left hand in both of his. "Close your eyes, beautiful." Bianca became hesitant, sky blues mirroring how she felt. "Come on, just do it. You can trust me."
Bianca wouldn't have asked him to remove the ring if she didn't trust Jon, curious what he had planned. Swallowing hard, her eyes closed and felt Jon lift her hand, his lips brushing across the back of it. They were feather light kisses as he turned her hand over and repeated the same process, sending shivers down her spine. Jon kissed all of her knuckles and fingertips, even her thumb, not missing an inch of her hand. It was a mental play to get Bianca to think about his lips touching her skin while he slipped the ring from her finger. If she didn't feel it leaving her, hopefully it wouldn't feel like her soul was being ripped open again.
"Open your eyes, Bianca." Jon requested, watching her eyes flutter open and set the piece of jewelry in front of her on the bed. "Now what? Stay in bed while I hold you, soak in a tub or do you want me to leave you alone for a while?"
Instantaneously, Bianca felt like the biggest weight had been lifted from her shoulders and she looked down at the diamond ring that had been the weight for the past 5 years. She flexed her hand experimentally and picked the ring up, slipping from bed to walk over to her bag. When she finally made it home, she would bury it at Myron's grave to where nobody would ever find it. Her hand tingled from Jon's feather soft kisses and honestly that had been the sweetest way to remove the ring from her finger. Bianca didn't feel it leaving her because all she focused on was Jon's lips caressing her skin. Dropping the ring in one of the pockets of her bag, Bianca knew it would take time before she fully healed from the death of Myron, but Jon would help her. Myron had assured her it was time to move on and she couldn't ignore what he said. Turning back around, Bianca padded back over to sit on her knees on the bed, once again taking Jon's hands in hers.
"I definitely don't want you to leave." She confessed softly, focusing on her fingers gliding over his and finally locked eyes with him again, squeezing his hands. "Thank you for being here for me and for doing what I asked. You have no idea how much I appreciate it, Jon."
Smiling softly, Jon brushed a few strands of hair from her face. "Fine, I'm not leaving then. I know what it meant for you to have to take it off. I've never been deeply in love with a woman enough to give her a ring and my last name, though I came close once. It was a huge mistake on my part." Wrapping his arms around her, Jon pulled Bianca closer and kissed the crown of her head. "Are you hungry? We should probably get some food ordered for everyone." Anything that happened between them from now on would have to go extremely slow. Holding Bianca felt right, even if it was the only thing Jon could do for her right now was be there for her physically, mentally and emotionally.
"I'm starving actually." As if on cue, Bianca's stomach rumbled and growled, making her cheeks turn a deep crimson red. "Yeah, food definitely sounds good."
She stopped Jon before he could move and hugged him tightly around the neck, kissing his cheek. Leaning over on the nightstand, Bianca picked up the menu and looked over it with Jon, both of them deciding to order something mellow for Joe since he was still recovering and big breakfasts for everyone else. Joe was getting toast, poached eggs and oatmeal, a diet instructed by the doctor until his stomach was fully healed from the toxins. Once Bianca hung up the phone after placing the order, she laid on the bed and pulled Jon to do the same, letting him hover over her somewhat.
"Let's just lay here for a few more minutes. Then we can join the others." Wrapping her arm around his waist, Bianca buried her face in his chest inhaling his intoxicating scent and pulled back to lie fully on the pillow, smiling when Jon settled in beside her. "So, if there's one thing you'd want me to know about you, what would it be?"
Jon chuckled, raising a brow down at her while his fingers absentmindedly glided up and down her back. "One thing – fuck it, how about a few?" Her scent once again filtered through his nose and Jon felt his body relax against her, breathing her in. "I can be a pain in the ass sometimes and my ticks WILL get on your nerves. I'm not a fully functioning adult in the morning when I first wake up until I've had at least 3 cigarettes and drink my weight in coffee." His index finger came up to softly trace the outline of her beautiful red lips. "From the first moment I laid eyes on you, I thought you were the most beautiful woman on the planet."
Bianca swore her heart flipped in her chest when he said that, the intensity of his words burning deeply in his blue eyes. She didn't push away his hand like she normally would have, enjoying him touching her this way. The simplest touch sent her heart and pulse racing, fire spreading throughout every part of her body.
"I noticed that about you – your ticks, I mean. I honestly think they are the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. I probably haven't seen all of them yet, but so far they're adorable. I don't see them getting on my nerves anytime soon. And I also noticed how dazed you were this morning when I tried waking you up, only for you to fall flat on your face." Bianca suddenly leaned forward and pushed the sleeve of his shirt up, pressing a soft kiss to his arm. "Sorry about punching you earlier. My emotions got the better of me. I'll try not to let that happen again."
"I'm not saying my ticks will get on your nerves every day, I'm just saying eventually they will." Jon clarified, knowing it would take a while for Bianca to acclimate to his comments and the way he behaved. "Believe me, just ask Joe and Colby. They've been putting up with them since FCW/NXT, so at this point I'm just warning you." A knock on the suite door pulled Jon's gaze from hers and he reluctantly left the bed, extending his hand. "Food's here, come on sweetheart, let's pacify that tapeworm growling in our stomachs."
Bianca took it without hesitation, leaving the room with Jon and headed out to the sitting area, not seeing Joe anywhere in sight. Since she'd calmed down, the puffiness and blotchiness in her cheeks had gone down considerably, making Bianca more radiant than before in Jon's eyes. While Jon answered the door, Bianca started straightening up the sitting room a little and looked up just as Joe emerged from his room, a smile spreading on her face.
"Hey big guy." She greeted softly, seeing the color had definitely returned fully to his face and he seemed to be stronger. "Breakfast is here. I ordered you some toast, poached eggs and oatmeal. Sit down and I'll get it, did you take your meds?" Bianca asked and Joe nodded, kissing the top of her head on his way to the couch. She followed while Jon rolled the cart into the room and then made a detour to Colby's room, tapping gently on the door. "Food's here you guys! Come eat when you're ready." She called through it and then went to retrieve Joe's food, handing it over to him with some milk and water.