That Blonde One: Chapter 4
Sorry I haven't written in so long. I got through mid-terms (Thank you, God!) and I went to the doctor so I'm finally feeling okay. This is good, especially because the weekend is coming up and I'll have time to write! YAY! Get ready for some OC's in the near future and some more sexy dancing from Ed. IceBlue, I'm so excited that this was your first FMA fic! I feel special! I hope you enjoy this next chapter.
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"Good luck, you sexy thing you!" Al called as Ed walked out the door to his next "mission briefing". Al had taken the news much better that Ed feared. He had not been horrified or disgusted. Al found the notion of his diminutive older brother being a stripper absolutely uproarious. Ed was relieved that Al wasn't traumatized but still… Al was just having way too much fun cracking jokes about Ed's predicament.
"So what torture awaits me today?" Ed inquired sullenly.
"Do not worry, Edward Elric. You handled yourself well yesterday. Today was far less…publicized. I'm sure you will be fine," Major Armstrong replied.
"Alright," Ed said, still feeling a bit apprehensive. He took a deep breath as Armstrong opened the door to Mustang's office and Ed stepped inside.
The spectacle therein was indeed very different from that of the day prior. In fact, it was Ed's turn to burst into laughter. Roy sat at his desk as usual, but now there was a scantily clad woman sitting in the Colonel's lap, licking his neck as Roy practically purred with need. However, upon hearing Ed's laughter, Mustang jumped up, unseating the woman in the process. The perpetually composed Colonel's hair was quite disheveled and he was most defiantly blushing. This only made Ed laugh harder until he was literally laying on the floor doubled up, practically suffocating in his laughter. By this time, Roy regained his composure and began to don his "boom, boom gloves".
"Fullmetal, get off the floor and shut up unless being a cinder appeals to you." Ed looked from the Colonel to the Colonel's gloves and was promptly silent. "Good. This is Natalia Covez. She will assist you in improving your…um…skills," Roy said as Ed got to his feet. "Well Natalia…er…um…Ms. Covez, see what you can do." Mustang then went and sat behind his desk.
"Hello, Edward is it?" Natalia asked.
"Yeah," replied Ed.
"Well, well, the Colonel was correct when he said that you are the perfect candidate for the job. You're gorgeous."
"Really? You think so?" Ed felt attractive after yesterday's dance but to hear a beautiful woman say it was another matter entirely.
"Of course!" Natalia led Ed to a mirror. "You have amazing eyes. Yes, eye contact will be very important for you. If you work it right, one look could drive a person mad with desire, and think of what you could do with that hair. Most women would kill for hair like that." Natalia then led Ed away from the mirror and began to walk around him, studying him. Ed didn't know really what to do so he just stood there feeling nervous. "Mmmm…I don't know which is better: your face or your body. I can tell already that you have amazing legs.
Now take off some of those layers. You're really sexy. Don't hesitate to show that off." There was a derisive snort from Roy, which Natalia's angry glare cut short. Ed proceeded to slip off his coat and overshirt and crossed his arms, assuming his okay-now-Ed-is-cranky posture. "Did anyone ever tell you that you have very expressive hips?" Natalia commented. A surprised look appeared on Ed's face and he swiftly stood up strait. "Don't misunderstand me, Edward. That is not a bad thing. Actually, it will most likely be one of your greatest assets. Speaking of assets, let's see how yours is." A confused expression crossed Ed's features as Natalia walked behind him. He followed her gaze. Now he got it! He felt his cheeks redden.
"So?" he prompted.
"Oh, I'm just swallowing my jealousy. You really shouldn't cover that up with that coat of yours. You're depriving the world of a truly amazing sight." Ed was staring to get really uncomfortable. The concept of him being sexually attractive was a totally new concept and he found it slightly overwhelming.
"Alright, I'm acceptable. Now tell me what I have to do." Ed just wanted to get this over with.
"Okay Edward. We'll get started. The purpose of this was to let you know what you need to emphasize and, more importantly, to boost your self-esteem. Confidence is key to exotic dance. Your audience will not think you are sexy if you don't think you're sexy." Ed looked utterly perplexed. "Okay Edward, think of it like this. When you fight an enemy, you can't show fear or doubt because it will make your opponent more confident and think less of you. Dance works the same way. You cannot show any doubt of your sexiness of the audience will pick up on your doubt." Ed pondered this. Yes. This made sense. So this would be as much a battle as a performance. This he could handle. His mission was to prove his worth to the "enemy".
"Okay, let's do this!"
"That's the spirit, Fullmetal," Roy called from his desk. Natalia and Edward told Mustang to shut up. As Roy grimaced, Ed's lesson began. It was rather short and simple as Natalia decided that Ed had been traumatized enough for that day. Ed simply went through a few different types of hip rolls. The blonde alchemist turned out to be a fast learner and his martial arts training helped immensely. His first few lessons consisted of fairly simple things like sexy walking and individual floor moves, but eventually he progressed on. It turned out that Ed was a fantastically talented poll dancer. His small, strong body moved so gracefully that when he danced it almost looked like he was flying.
However, he had a bit more trouble with lap dancing. Ed wasn't quite as comfortable when it came to interacting with people especially since Natalia made him practice on men right off the bat. It made sense since that was what he'd actually be dealing with, but still. Ed was not in the least bit gay and it took him a long time to be able to get through an entire lap dance without freaking out. What made it especially weird was that the man he had to practice on happened to be none other than Havoc. Ed couldn't help but suspect that that had been Colonel Mustang's idea and that it was a joke on both Havoc and him. Still, Ed eventually mastered the lap dance as well.
"Well, Edward. I think I've taught you as much as I can," Natalia said. "I think it's time for me to return to East City."
"What! You're not from Central? You won't be here to help me?" Ed began to panic.
"Of course I'm not from Central. None of the girls you'll be with can know about you being undercover. I'm sure you will be great. Just relax. You're beautiful, remember?"
"Yeah, I remember. I won't let you down. I'll be great just like you said." Ed gave Natalia one of his famous toothy grins.
"I know you won't let me down," Natalia said and then she leaned down and kissed Ed on the lips. "Goodbye Ed." Then she was gone.
All Ed could do was to sit there blushing almost purple and squeak out, "Bye." This was it. Ed was all alone in this. The ball was rolling and there was no stopping its progress. Ed trudged back to his room to prepare for the battle afoot.
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Yay! The chapters are getting longer and longer! I really had been dreading writing this chapter because it's more of a transitional chapter than anything. I hope y'all will have more fun reading it than I had writing it. If you didn't, then don't fear. I had to get through this chapter to get to the really good stuff. Things are going to start picking up. I look forward to writing the next chapter. Ed is going to go shopping with Hawkeye to get his stock of girly clothes and accessories. This is going to be so fun! I'm a fashion fanatic so I apologize if I get a little over enthusiastic about describing the clothes and jewelry. Me likes shiny things! Anyway, it's gonna be fun.