"Are you feeling any better?" Frank asked all too innocently.
Oh how I would have loved to say yes. Truth was, it was one o clock in the afternoon and I'd literally just gotten out of bed. I'd slept solidly all morning and apparently all afternoon, too. My head was all stuffy and I felt like I could have thrown up any time soon.
I looked up at Frank through my tangled hair that fell over my eyes. I hadn't the energy to even brush it this morning. I didn't even need to speak. He knew my answer.
"I could make you some tea and honey?" he suggested.
Tea? Hmm, I'll consider it but honey too? No. No, no, no. It's too sweet. I can't even begin to think about food or anything remotely similar right now. I gave him credit for trying, though. So, out of good will, I nodded meekly and shuffled out weakly to the living room and curled up in a ball on the couch.
I grabbed the fleece blanket from behind me. I often used it as my comfort blanket. After all, it was Frank's blanket. Admittedly, it was a bit childish. Okay, so it was bright green with navy blue stars all over it, edged in red stitching but I didn't give a shit. It was warm, fleecy, and most of all, it smelt like Frank. I wrapped it around my shoulders and looked out of the living room window.
Outside looked peaceful. Cold, but peaceful. It was snowing lightly and I watched the flakes float in the air and land on the ground. I couldn't be sure if the snow was going to stick. I didn't really care, either. I prefer to watch the snow rather than be out in it. From outside, I could hear soft whimpering. I smiled lightly.
"Hey Frank, I think she's getting cold." I offered, referring to our puppy named Cookie. Oh, I forgot to mention we had the most adorable puppy ever. She was a chocolate Labrador, all of a few weeks old. I brought her as an early birthday present for Frank. It's just as well really that I brought him something early cause I'm way to sick to even think about moving right now.
I heard the back door open and claws patter against the linoleum on the kitchen floor. Cookie came bounding into the living room, her ridiculously big ears bounced beside her face. Frank was convinced she was yet to grow into her ears because they were so out of proportion in comparison compared to the rest of her tiny body. The tag on her collar jingled as she ran and before I knew it, she pounced onto the couch and voluntarily made her way into my lap.
"Holy shit!" I yelped, like a complete fool.
Frank came running in, he looked genuinely concerned and scared and confused all at once. It takes talent to multitask a facial expression like that.
"What's wrong? Are you okay? Did she hurt you? What did she do? Gerard?" Okay now he was panicking.
I giggled lightly.
"Nothing! She's just fucking freezing!" I smiled. And she was damp from the falling snowflakes outside. I guess we both shared a dislike for snow.
Frank sighed with relief.
"You look awful." He said, handing me a mug of this tea and honey shit.
I shrugged. What else was I supposed to do? I knew I looked awful. I was even more pale than I was yesterday, my eyes were that dark that I was beginning to resemble a panda and my hair looked like I'd been dragged through a bush backwards. Or forwards. I don't really have a preference for direction. Either way, I looked a mess.
"Did Doc not call you back?" Frank came and sat beside me, running his fingers through Cookie's fur. "Yeah, she is kinda cold." He agreed.
I smiled then shook my head in answer to his question. Had he phoned me back? Pft! Of course he hadn't! He probably hates me now even more than he ever did after last weeks episode!
"No." I sighed and slid down on the couch even more so that now my head was resting on the arm and my legs had made their way into Frank's lap. I couldn't have felt worse if that was even possible. I gazed down at the mug in my hands. I had to admit, my drink smelt kinda nice. It wouldn't hurt to try it.
"Just drink it, Gerard. It won't kill you." There was that smile again. That half smile. I could never figure out if he was genuinely half amused by me or he was just tired of me complaining.
I looked down again at my mug before pressing it to my lips. There's a difference between sweet, sickly sweet and then there's crossing the line. As for my drink? It crossed the line. I screwed my nose up.
"It's not that bad!" Frank laughed, yet still somewhat defensive.
He must have been kidding.
"You try it!" I pushed the mug into his hands defiantly. I was ready to laugh at his disgust. I'd practically prepared myself for it in such such short time. I stared intently at him. But that's when the phone rung.
I huffed and Frank placed the mug carefully on the coffee table, grinning wickedly at me.
"Saved by the phone." He chuckled.
I scowled, hauled myself up and took the substance into the kitchen to empty it down the sink as Frank answered the phone.
"But that's good, right?" I heard him ask as I wandered back into the living room.
He looked up at me worriedly. I had no idea what he was talking about but I leant against the wall beside him and began playing with his hair softly. Not to distract him but in hope it might give him some kind of comfort for whatever the hell was wrong. He removed my hand from his hair and linked fingers with me, instead.
"No, that's not gonna happen." He continued into the speaker, stroking my hand with his thumb. "He hates them. I won't be able to get him there, you don't understand...Yes I'm fully aware of procedure but you're not listening!"
Now it was my turn to do the frowning. I couldn't understand why he was being so snappy and defensive. Cookie plodded over and sat at Frank's feet, whimpering quietly. Even she wanted to know what was wrong.
"Yes, that's a dog you can hear." Frank snapped again. "No, he's not allergic. If he was, he wouldn't have brought one...No, he's not allergic to anything else! No animals, no food, no meds, nothing!...Look, I said I'd try but if I call you back to say he won't be able to make it then-...YES AND YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT BUT SO HAVE I! THANK YOU!" And so he slammed the phone down, staring down at Cookie for a while.
"Frankie?" I practically squeaked.
"Not now, Gerard." He let go of my hand but didn't move anywhere.
"Frank was that the doctor? I could've talked to them instead. Whatever the problem is, I'm sure I could have sorted it on my own. I could call them back?" I offered, trying to help the situation. Apparently I only made it worse.
"To be honest, I don't think you'd have done that on your own without having some kind of nervous breakdown!" Frank flung his arms up in the air, exasperated.
I hated it when he got like this. It wasn't exactly a regular thing for him but when he was in this mood, it was 9 out of 10 times my fault or involved me somewhere along the line. Judging by the nature of the phone call, this was one of those times.
"W-Well what did they say?" I tried again, assuming it was the doctor.
Frank scooped Cookie up and held her at arms length. She stared back at him. I always thought dogs couldn't really have facial expressions. According to Cookie, I was wrong. See? I told you I was wrong when it comes to assumptions. If this dog could talk, she'd have been telling Frank right now to calm the fuck down, sit down and have cuddles and then she'd be telling him everything's gonna be just fine. That's what I was getting from her face, anyway. Apparently she was also a mind reader because it wasn't long before Frank sighed and said, looking directly at her-
"I know, I will. I might feel better if I take you for a walk later, how about that?" He asked her. She made some kind of odd, yet approving noise and wriggled to be put back down, again. Frank set her down and stared down at his shoes.
They say you learn something new everyday. Today I learnt that my boyfriend has the weird ability to communicate with our dog in any other way except the normal way any other person would.
"Your blood results have come back clear." He said, finally.
"Oh." I replied. "Well then, what's the problem?"
"Harper said he's set you up a hospital appointment." He continued, his voice just about audible.
My heart skipped a beat. I prayed to God (not that I'm a religious person but you can't blame a guy for trying, right?) that I'd heard him wrong.
"He did what?" I asked, just as quietly.
"Yeah. A hospital appointment. You heard." He repeated.
I laughed. Why? I don't fucking know! My best guess is that it was nerves. I don't usually laugh when I'm nervous. Today was some kind of exception. But seriously, a hospital appointment? If my test results were fine then why the hell was I being sent to-
I shuddered. I can't even begin to describe the way hospitals make me feel.
"D-did he say what f-for?" Oh great, now I was stuttering. I sounded like even more of an idiot.
"A screening of your chest or something like that. I think he actually said an X-Ray." Frank continued to observe his feet.
I don't think he was entirely comfortable with the idea, either. Was I that sick? I had honestly began to convince myself that I'd just had the flu!
"Look, it's probably nothing. You know what Doctors are like, they give you the worst case scenario and then all the results just come back as clear. That's all that's gonna happen." He was trying to reassure me. He looked up at me being as honest as he could but he still looked somewhat doubtful. "I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"Snapping. You can't help your phobias, I guess." He smiled apologetically.
"I guess not." I sighed too.
Frank took my hand and pulled me upstairs gently.
"Frank, what are you-"
"Bath. I'm gonna give you a bath and then be your nurse for the day." He giggled.
"Please don't tell me you have an outfit or some shit like that. I'm not really into the whole cross dressing thing." I moaned but the thought of Frank in a nurses dress, a female nurses dress at that was actually quite funny. I couldn't help but laugh.
"Aw Gerard! You spoil all my fun!" Frank pulled me into the bathroom and sat me down on the floor like a child.
"Wait, I was joking! You don't actually have-"
"No!" He laughed and let the bath fill up, sitting in front of me. "Although the idea is quite tempting." He played with his hands subconsciously.
"I think I'd just prefer you the way you already dress." I smiled lightly and began getting undressed.
I opened the bathroom door slightly and tossed my shirt out onto the hall, before standing up to wriggle out of my jeans. I threw those out of the room, too. The bath was still running so I stayed in my boxers and sat back down on the floor.
"Gerard." Frank said quietly.
"Frank." I replied.
Frank sat up on his knees and crawled over me so he was straddling my lap, and so I was forced to lean back on my elbows. He wrapped his arms around my neck slowly. It was just as well that I was able to hold his body weight else I'd have fallen on my back by now. He wasn't particularly heavy. His head was resting against my shoulder so his hair was tickling my neck lightly. Frank closed his eyes and kissed my collarbone softly. My breath hitched somewhat and I rolled my head back involuntarily.
"Fucking hell, you're so beautiful." He breathed onto my chest.
His breath was warm and I shuddered lightly.
"You were only telling me about an our ago that I looked awful." I smiled lazily, my head still bowed back so my throat was exposed.
"Maybe. Or maybe awfully beautiful is what I really meant." He began leaving a trail of light kisses along my neck.
His lips were so soft. They weren't the kinda kisses that we're likely to turn me on any time soon. They were soft, affectionate kisses. But I still couldn't help my reaction whenever my breathing changed. It didn't mean I wanted sex or anything! I mean, sure we'd had sex before. Not all that often if you must know but the way mine and Frank's relationship ran was purely platonic and that's just the way we liked it.
I lifted my head back up so our noses met and we smiled.
He lifted one hand and stroked the back of it along my cheek. I blushed lightly and leaned into kiss him.
His lips were warm. It was a shame we were sitting on the bathroom floor though, really. Frank sat back on my risen knees to support himself and ran his other hand up my chest slowly. Even his hands were warm and soft. My breathing became slightly heavier and he stopped his hand just over my heart, feeling my heartbeat which I swear had quickened in pace suddenly. He giggled shyly as if proving my thoughts right.
I moved my one hand to trail down his cheek and cup his jaw so the tips of my fingers were just behind his ear.
I looked into his eyes honestly.
"I love you."
His cheeks were sprinkled with a light blush.
"I love you too." He looked down shyly. He couldn't actually look directly at me. But that didn't matter. I knew he meant it.
A moment or two passed where we just gazed at each other until Frank suddenly remembered that the bath was still running. He pushed himself up off me and reached for the taps to turn the water off.
I stood up slowly. I swear there were more bubbles than water. I slipped out of my boxers and stepped into the water, sinking down to lean my head against the wall and close my eyes. It was relaxing and welcoming. I was just on the verge of falling asleep until Frank decided to trickle water down my stomach and I squirmed. I was about to protest but he did it again, looking at me with those fucking puppy dog eyes again so I let it go.
"Can I ask you something?" He finally said and began massaging shampoo into my hair.
Holy shit , this was too good.
"Mmm, go on." I groaned, too relaxed to say much else that involved more effort.
"Would you do me a favour?"
I opened my eyes sleepily and nodded slightly.
"Would you go to the hospital? Please?" He knelt forward so we were nose to nose again except this time, he was upside down to me.
"Frankie I-" I sighed heavily, looking up at him with my own best attempt at puppy dog eyes.
"Aw, c'mon Gerard! What if its something serious?" He raised his voice slightly but he wasn't exactly shouting or angry. He was getting a little upset.
The selfish side of me didn't want to back down. I just about managed a trip to the Doctor's and now the hospital? No way!
"There's nothing wrong with me." I tried. "I'm just tired today but I haven't coughed once and I don't remember coughing last night either! I'm fine, see? You even told me that it'd be nothing."
Frank began to rinse my hair clean of soap suds and we remained in silence for a little while. He stood up to fetch me a towel and I discovered he was snivelling to himself.
Way to go, Gerard. Nice going. Just upset your boyfriend as usual, It's fine. Go ahead.
That was my subconscious suddenly deciding to make an appearance again.
I sat up in the bath.
"C'mere." I said quietly.
Frank turned around quietly and looked at me.
"Come on." I said again, motioning for him to sit in front of the bath.
He plodded over slowly, slumped down in front of me and began to cry softly. I leaned on the edge of the bath, took the towel from his lap and dried my hands and dropped it on the floor, cupping Frank's tearstained face in my hands.
"I'm sorry."
He sniffed repeatedly and let me hold his head but concentrated on his hands.
"Just d-do it, Gerard. If n-not for yourself, then for m-me." Now he was the one stuttering but only cause he was crying.
I had to face it, I was so fucking selfish at times. This is the state I tend to get Frank into occasionally for several different reasons. It wasn't his fault he's so easily upset. He's just one of those guys that are tough on the outside and when you get to know them, you discover that on the inside, they're just a teddy bear.
"I just can't lose you!" He continued. "I love you more than you'll ever know it. You need to understand-"
I'm not one for shutting people up mid-sentence but now seemed an appropriate time to kiss him.
I tangled my fingers in his hair on the back of his head. I'd automatically closed my eyes but I felt the need to open them again to see whether Frank's were closed or not. I was afraid of making eye contact and being a total killjoy by ruining the moment. Ah hell, he hadn't pulled away so who cared?
I half opened my eyes and admired Frank's face. Yeah, his eyes were closed. They weren't shut tightly, they were just closed. He suddenly looked so much more relaxed. His cheeks were still pink. I wasn't sure if it was still because of the crying or he was blushing. I smiled under our kiss and stroked his cheeks with my thumbs.
Frank exhaled slowly through his nose and opened his eyes, making direct eye contact with me. This time I was sure he was blushing.
I pulled away from the kiss and rested my forehead against his.
"For you." I whispered. "I'll go the the hospital, just for you."
"You will?" He scanned my face hopefully and I nodded. He planted a kiss on my forehead and pulled me gently out of the bath, led me into our room and dried me down like I was incapable of drying myself. I let him get on with it. He seemed happy enough to do everything for me and I didn't wanna crush him anymore than I just had. He's too fragile for that.
He dressed me in my skull onsie and took me downstairs, sitting me back on the couch.
Cookie barked playfully, happy to have both of us back downstairs. She pawed the bottom of Frank's jeans, practically begging him to take her on that walk he said he'd take her on.
"Sorry, princess." He slid his hands under her stomach and picked her up. "I'm cancelling on you. Gerard's sick and I can't leave him." He told her, genuinely apologetic.
As if perfectly understanding him, she turned her head to look at me then made some kind of disapproving sniff. Frank laughed.
"Go cuddle him instead. He'll appreciate it." He sat her in my lap and she stared up at me, trying not to believe Frank.
I chuckled. For a dog, she was comical.
"You can't look at me like that, you don't like the snow anymore than I do, anyway." I told her simply.
She curled up and went straight to sleep.
It wasn't long before Frank headed back over to the phone to call the surgery back up.
"Hi, yeah, it's Frank Iero...Yeah you did call me earlier...Yeah the same guy that got mad." He said flatly, clearly repeating the receptionist and rolled his eyes at me.
I giggled.
"I want to uphold that appointment for Gerard Way?...Yeah the hospital appointment made by Doctor Harper...Yes, he agreed." He said through gritted teeth.
Damn he really hated this receptionist.
"Okay, thank you." He put the phone down and shook his head.
I'd just agreed to a hospital trip. What the fuck is wrong with me?