Cecil
September 1, 2013. 2250 hrs
Project: Tape Recorder shall have to wait. Thought of requisitioning one from headquarters at first, but after visiting Elmwood this morning had disturbing news. Caretaker told me that patient had not stopped talking about me all night in his "radio broadcast". Quote unquote:
" That new scientist we now know is named Carlos called a town meeting. He has a square jaw and teeth like a military cemetery. (Note: Cemetery?! Could provide some clues on cause of patient's disorder. Wish I had not dropped psychology class in semester 2.) His hair is perfect, and we all hate and despair and love that perfect hair in equal measure."
Most disturbing:
"He grinned, and everything about him was perfect, and I fell in love instantly."
! Patient's fixation on me is more serious than previously thought. (Why?!) Had to bribe caretaker not to pass on this information to supervisors. Requisitioning tape recorder from headquarters is out of the question now. Looks like shall have to buy tape recorder with own money. Shall be wanting one even more now since I am not keen to be dealing with patient's uninvited attentions.
Or should I say, Cecil. His name is the only other thing in objective reality that he seems to have a hold onto. Had the (dubious) pleasure of reading through patient's case file over the last week. Began to understand why case was classified as "interesting". Cecil Gerschwin Palmer. Age 26. No surviving family members known. First committed to St Marina's Hospital after being diagnosed as severely mentally disturbed in a lawsuit against a Mr & Mrs Wallaby for calling their daughter a disembodied man's hand and causing damage to her mental well-being. Transferred 5 times in as many years because of harassment of other patients. (Case file states that while his anger may be directed at any of the other patients he usually addresses his object of disdain as "Steve Carlsberg". Note to self: another recurring character in patient's Cecil's delusions. I must remember to call him Cecil) Doctors unable to classify patien Cecil's disorder as symptoms do not fall into recognizable category. As has already been observed, patien Cecil does not respond to stimuli without delusions. Light, sound and pain tests all report negative even though patient's sensory organs seem to be in working order. (Cecil. I meant Cecil.) Treatment with electroshock and medication has also proven futile. Doctors unable to obtain differential diagnosis for him, hence he is currently listed under "schizoid disorders". Though he exhibits hallucinations to a degree far above two standard deviations of the regular symptoms reported by schizophrenics, he does not seem to have any of the fragmented thinking associated. Listening to his "radio broadcasts" reveals a perfectly clear train of thought, though subjects within said "broadcast" are all fantasy. Patien (God damn it) CECIL retains a standard of wit and humor that would be greatly appreciated by society if he were of otherwise standard mental capabilities.
Wish mental disorders were not always so hit and miss. But perhaps with this case may finally be able to finish my study, then perhaps will be able to widen the field of knowledge in this area. However, must not be overly optimistic. Focus on task at hand. Require to obtain tape recorder. Will visit hardware store around the corner over the weekend. Also, overheard patie CECIL mention cat into today's "broadcast". Will bring Caramel along tomorrow. Hope she will be able to provide another reference to reality for patien
CECIL. Why is it so hard to remember to call him by his name? Seems that the only thing that sticks in my head is his darkly luminous voice.
Good night, Night Vale. Good night.