Rita reports on Quidditch!
A repeat of history? Gryffindor and Slytherin clash in a brutal game!
March 15 1993
I remember reporting on a brutal Slytherin vs Gryffindor match back when I was a gorgeous young teenager and it's amazing that I'm here again, reporting once more, on another barbaric match between Gryffindor and Slytherin.
The match was vile. From the very beginning, it was clear that to the two houses involved, this was more than a Quidditch match. It was a battle of pride! Within the first five minutes of the game, two fouls had been made. During the next 30 minutes, the match had turned into something resembling a giants cage fight. Gryffindor seeker, Harry Potter, is much like his father (who played chaser for Gryffindor). Not just in looks(although he does have the same ghastly broomstick hair), but also in aggressiveness. Just like his father, Potter engaged in a fierce duel with the slick hair brat Draco Malfoy. Malfoy and Potter have been enemies since the first day they met. They came head to head in a fierce duel of the seekers that resulted in their hexes bouncing off one another and hitting members of the crowd. I must say, it was hilarious to see that little first year spout horns and tusks although I'm sure dear McGonagall would beg to differ.
And it was not just Potter and Malfoy playing dirty. Let's not forget the fat boulder like boys Crabbe and Goyle who play beaters for Slytherin. The two giant boys sandwiched poor little Gryffindor chaser Johnson between them, crushing her. However, the Weasley twins(who play beaters for Gryffindor) were onto Crabbe and Goyle within seconds. The twins aimed two bludgers at once which expertly hit Crabbe who fell onto Goyle. McGonagall was beside herself with fury but the match must go on!
Gryffindor keeper Oliver Wood managed to protect Gryffindor goal posts before little Malfoy took the beaters bat off of Goyle and hit a well aimed bludger at Wood that sent him flying off his broom. Chasers Spinnet and Bell were outraged and headed for Malfoy together; both punching him on either side of his face, breaking the young boys nose. If McGonagall was angry before, it was nothing compared to now. Her hat was askew, her perfect bun dishevelled. Jordan, the commentator, was clearly favouring the Gryffindor side. Although he provided a huge amount of comedic responses to the disgusting display of violence on the Quiddicth pitch, I think Dumbledore was silly to appoint a Gryffindor as commentator for a match such as this. But then again, we all know that Dumbledore has always made very questionable desicions in his past life so choosing Jordan as commentator was not very surprising. However, Dumbledore's sanity is something I shall save for later. Stay tuned for that one.
Until next time, my dear readers. I have been Rita Skeeter A.K.A the only person keeping the Daily Prophet alive.
See you next week when I dish the dirt on Gwenog Jones. You don't want to miss it!