Kankri's POV

Where was he? He was supposed to be here HOURS before I was, so why isn't he here?

I was quite literally the definition of on edge today, pacing around the couch and biting my lip. My hands were clasped together, squeezing tightly as though it would reassure me. It did for a couple moments before I saw that my younger brother wasn't here and the anxiety came back full force. I didn't know what to do, I tried calling him but he didn't pick up and I stood outside even when the rain had come just as it did the last time Karkat was injured. He still wasn't there. And I wasn't getting any better with the passing time.

"Oh please..let those two be alright. Especially Karkat.."

This was like some sick joke.

A practical humorous attempt to make me lose myself and tear this house apart.

But my father had come early for the first time in a while and was resting peacefully in his room. Throwing tables and smashing china didn't seem like the mature or logical thing to do at the moment even if the feeling was there. So I settled on being similar to an impatient, worrisome mother and muttered to myself as I strode around the couch.

The click of the door finally pushed me out of my thoughts and I quickly forgo any other plannings as I sped over to the sound. Karkat walked inside, not limping thankfully but sporting a bruise and a broken nose which still bled profusely though it must have been quite some time before he came home. I pursed my lips and kept from speaking up and triggering him too much. However I still reached out to brush my fingers across his bruised cheek. He retracted not even a few seconds after that.

"Don't."

"Karkat, are you alright? I am glad to see that you are not in such a bad condition as before."

"Yeah we ran into her and her gang again and they kind of got the upper hand until one of those shitmaggots went too far and I blew a fuse."

"You spoke with them? Did Gamzee keep you safe?"

"He tried but-"

"He tried?"

"He got hit in the back of the head with a goddamn glass bottle Kankri. Give him a break."

I nodded, "I see. Well, it's good that you are not too much in harm."

He shrugged and waved me off as he headed for the stairs again. I followed him upstairs of course, dead set on fixing him up again. He sighed as he reached the top of the steps and turned to face me with a look between exhaustion and annoyance. He probably wasn't in the mood to face me right now. And a small portion of me had wanted to leave him be. But I wanted to be a good sibling and help, so I ignored that portion.

"Kankri. Just leave me alone. I'm fine."

"But Karkat, you are still hurt and I need to make sure your nose isn't broken or-"

"It's fine Kankri. I can worry about that act of concerning duties and business tomorrow or later when I don't feel tired."

"But now would be a good time to-"

"I don't need your help."

"Please stop interrupting me and let me get a say in-"

"You don't need a say. I don't need your help, I'm perfectly fine, broken nose or whatever. I can take care of it later and I don't need doting brothers on my ass."

I frowned at that and stared at his nose again which still bled and he must have seen me because he immediately lifted a sleeve to wipe away the blood with a scowl. I just wanted to help him and he never allowed me. So I ignored him this time and took a step forward, reaching for his sleeve and tugging him close to take a closer look. He drew back with accurate speed, face showing his clear distaste in me being near him and turned his back to me. I huffed and narrowed my eyes. This was so like him. Every sine we were children, he'd never allow me the chance of providing a service to him or comforting him or doing anything relatable to him. He strayed further and further from me each year and it made me feel terrible. Like I couldn't do anything for him.

"Karkat, that is so unfair of you. I always try as hard as I can to help you and comfort you but you always push me away. What did I do to deserve such a thing? Are you really so uptight and barricaded that you have to constantly keep up a cautious and irritated front with me? You never allow me the information of knowing things like you had bullies who taunted and harmed you. You never let me know how you feel or any of those things. The level of immaturity in you is so unbelievable at times. You cannot chase away your earnest pride for a measly few minutes to allow your older brother comfort? That's kind of triggering in its own way when someone feels as though they cannot help the one that they care about. It's terrible and I wish you would ju-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

I froze mid-sentence, words dying on my lips as my eyes widened slightly in surprise. Karkat never snapped at me before like that. The whole time I spoke, I never looked at his body language or saw the oncoming wrath until it was too late. I was too late to realize my mistake that I went too far. He clenched his fists, turning back to me with a sharp growl. His normally pale face was bright red with fury as he took a step towards me.

"K-Karkat I-"

"NO. YOU'RE GOING TO SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE."

I couldn't speak anymore. Only just stand there and listen to him unleash his rage.

"You always blabber on about how I'm so childish and that ignorant shit that spouts from your never ending blowhole. You act too grown up for your damn age, you didn't even give yourself the chance of enjoying your life. You didn't need to get all fucking up close and personal with me and left well enough alone but no, you had to keep bugging me. You constantly get in my face and touch me and dote on me and treat me like a child and I'm sick of it! I'm 16 fucking years old and don't need to tolerate your stupid bull anymore. If you think I'm so and so all the damn time then why not just leave me the fuck alone?! Who the hell do you actually think you are? Dad? Mom? Some other full grown parental figure? NO, YOU'RE JUST A SELF-RIGHTEOUS, CONDESCENDING TWAT OF A BROTHER WHO THINKS HE'S BETTER THAN ME."

I felt my heart tighten painfully as he continued to speak and assault me with his words. My head lowered until my bangs had covered my eyes. It did me a favor, I didn't want to look at him and see his hatred. And I didn't want him to see me cry.

"I think it's time we put a stop to this relationship we have going on right here, right now!"

The way he spat out the words with such animosity and venom. It crushed me. I shook my head slowly, not wanting to hear anymore but I couldn't move. It was like my body wanted me to stay here and endure those sharp blades Karkat perceived as words.

"I'm going to spend a few days with some of my other friends. Hell, maybe I'll move out or some shit to get you off my back. I'll keep to myself and take care of my own self. And you. I don't need you anymore okay?!"

"Karkat..."

"I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN."

That was it.

I felt my entire being go cold, every available emotion drifting out of my body until I was left with a cold hollow, and empty feeling.

And I deserved it.

I did this to him. To us. I pushed him away.

He deserved the title of older brother with how much of my troubles he puts up with. I bit my lip as the tears I tried to hold back begin to spill as I saw Karkat turn away with a scoff and walk to his room. He didn't hear my faltered, pained whispers. The tiny sound of his name leaving my lips as he continued to walk away and I felt all the things I had done for him since we were children become nothing but useless little nuisances. I reached out for him but I couldn't move.

The grief was too much for me..

Of all the things I could have been or had prepared for...

I wasn't prepared for this.

"Karkat..."

He didn't listen and continued his walk, back turned to me for probably what would be forever and I couldn't take that.

"Karkat?..."

He still didn't hear me.

I hadn't noticed my legs buckle or take in the fact that the whole dispute we had took place on the stairs and that I should have gotten off the steps and I certainly didn't see how I began to fall back or register the pain that ran through my body and head as I hit the steps and rolled agonizingly down the stairs until I hit the ground, falling on my back.

I didn't hear or even care anymore as I heard rapid footsteps and a yell that sounded suspiciously like my own name as everything grew black and dull and numb.

I lost my brother because I was too mature and I was too meddlesome.

I just...didn't care anymore.