A/N: I'm glad to be back and ugh, school was so bluh and I was so sleepy. Getting back into the swing of balancing school between doing what I love. Eh, it'll work out. Everything in italics is taking place inside of Kankri's mind. Please enjoy the chapter guys~!

Regular POV

There is only darkness.

It seems to be the only thing that registers in Kankri's mind as he wanders through his subconscious.

"Where am I? What happened?...Oh yes, Karkat told me he never wanted.."

His throat clenched tight, keeping him from finishing his sentence as his shoulders slump in utter defeat. He no longer had anymore motivation now that he had heard his younger brother display his feelings in such a manner. He reached up to wipe his eyes which had begun to brim with held in tears as he looks around. It was cold and lonely, like his soul and heart felt right about now.

"I suppose this is what I deserve.."

Just as he had begun to accept that he'd be alone in the deepest part of his mind, a light had begun to shine through the dark. He glanced in that direction, hesitation in his features before he started to walk towards it. A soft sound could be heard as he walked closer.

'Is that crying?'

Kankri frowned in worry and sped up his pace, the light growing larger and brighter until he was enveloped in it. Warmth seemed to surround him as he opened his eyes and was greeted with a sight for sore eyes.

His mother was standing there, crouched in front of two young children. They weren't any older than 4 to 7. One was quite short and bore an upset expression, cheeks rosy with frustration and stubbornness. The other was a bit taller and older, carrying a somber yet also adamant feature. They were whimpering to the woman, complaining and pointing at one another.

"But momma, he did it! He knocked over the vase cause he's a big stupid head.."

"Now Karkat, you should call your brother such names."

"But-!"

"Sweetie. Now I know it was you who did it because you chased him. Am I right?"

"I...yes.."

"And Kankri, I believe you started this by bothering him, right?"

"Yes mommy.."

She gave them both a serious look before sighing and smiling, her hands moving up to ruffle their hair.

"That's all I needed to know. Telling the truth is a good thing."

"It is?" Karkat questioned.

"Why yes. And fighting isn't good either. You should accept responsibility for what you do. It's a very good and brave thing to do."

Karkat grinned widely, suddenly proud of his admittance.

"Ha! Then I'm a really good boy! Better than Kankri!"

"Haha, why yes dear. You are."

"Hey!"

Karkat merely blew a raspberry in his older brother's direction and ran off with a mocking laugh. The other was about to whine and complain before his mother took a hold of his hand and pulled him to her. He gave her a confused look, gazing into her olive green eyes.

"Mama?"

"Kankri. My son, I want you to know something."

"Sure, you can tell me anything mommy!"

"Your brother is a stubborn one and can often get into troublesome situations. You know that as much as your father and I do. So I want you to take care of him when he can't do so himself. Be a good older brother and watch over him. Can you do that dear?"

"Yeah! I'll be a great big brother!"

She smiled softly, pulling the younger Kankri into a tight loving hug. The older Kankri was watching from a distance with foggy eyes, tears spilling over and dripping onto his sweater. As he stepped close, the memory faded away and turned to another memory. One that was horrific compared to the peaceful scene he once saw.

~.~.~.~.~

There was blood everywhere. Broken metal and glass lay strewn across the street, a horn blared into the night, screams filled the air. The sounds of concerned people surrounded the accident where two demolished cars were. A simple view that an accident had occurred. The ambulance's sirens rung in the air, the voices of the EMTs rushing around as gurneys were guiding an older man and a covered body into the vehicles while others surrounded a woman to help her onto the next gurney.

"MOMMY! NO MOMMY NO PLEASE!"

"MAMA!.."

"Oh god...Desiree! No please..no.."

The two boys' father reached out weakly as he was carted into the back of the ambulance. His eyes displayed the purest of regret and sorrow as the doors closed.

Karkat screamed and kicked, escaping the grip of a paramedic and ran over to his mother. She was lying on the gurney, breath escaping her in light, shallow gasps. The younger Kankri was already next to his mother, tears streaming down his pale face as he held onto her hand. Karkat pushed through the men and held onto her other hand with frantic eyes. She was bleeding heavily, glass in her wounds and a deep gash in her chest where a piece of the car once was. The boys were not injured much, just a couple scratches and bruises and maybe a concussion.

"Mommy.."

"Kankri, Karkat..I'm so sorry..I couldn't stay with you longer..."

"No mama, please don't go!"

She gave both her sons a weak smile, filled with all the tender love a mother could carry. She slowly reached up and brushed her hands gently across their cheeks as she let out a pained cough.

"I'm sorry...but remember, I'll always love you no matter w..hat.."

Her hands fell from their faces, hitting the concrete as her eyes closed and her breathing stopped. The men were already in motion, pushing her Karkat's eyes widened as Kankri's shoulders slumped, disbelief in his eyes.

"Momma...Momma! MOMMA! NOO..!"

Karkat covered his face and let out heart wrenching sobs as the younger Kankri's lips quivered and he cried silently.

Kankri himself was covering his ears and closing his eyes, the memory was too much for him. The memory faded away into another. The reception room of the church where the funeral had happened. Karkat was sitting against a wall, head buried in his knees as he sobbed and whimpered. The smaller Kankri had wandered over to him, watching as he cried before a determined look entered his features.

"Karky?"

Said child raised his head, brows furrowed in anger at being disturbed while he grieved. The boy merely disregarded the look and spoke up.

"I-I know mommy is gone now. But she's in a better place and watching over us! And also, you don't have to worry about being alone.."

"Why?.."

"Cause I'll take care of you! I'll be a big person and watch over us two and take good care of you. I'll be uh..mature! Yeah, I'm gonna be a mature person like mommy was!"

He crossed his arms with that same expression and Karkat watched on for a moment. Soon a small smile appeared and he broke out in a fit of giggles. The other frowned, his arms unlocking and falling to his sides as he stomped a foot.

"What?"

"Hehehe! You're such a stupid person Kanky.."

"I am not!"

"Haha, okay! Then if you're for real, then I'm sure you'll be a good grown up!"

"That's right! I'll take care of us from now on~!"

Laughs filled the air and suddenly life had seemed more brighter. With that, that final memory faded off and Kankri was alone in the dark again. He lowered his eyes as he sighed wistfully.

"It seems being mature has gotten me in nothing but more adolescent situations. I wish I was not this way, perhaps if I was more younger or acted so...Karkat would like me.."

He felt himself sink deeper into the darkness and closed his eyes, allowing it to surround him and seep into its cold comfort. As he closed his eyes, he heard a small giggle similar to him when he was a child. If he could be younger, he would and wanted to be so.

He should be cautious as to such a wish.

~.~.~.~.~

Karkat's POV

I never wanted this.

Out of all the things that could happen that I'd want in my life, I didn't want this.

I was just so tired from all the crazy things that happened the past two days and I all I wanted to do was rest and forget all the damn troubles that hovered around my life. So when I came home, expecting a break and a chance to sleep, Kankri was already at the door. He bombarded me with questions and eyed me warily as I made my way upstairs. He tried to touch me too but I naturally moved away.

Even when I made my way up the stairs and begged me to answer him, I still kept myself wound up like a spring in action. I heaved a sigh as we reached the top and he tried to touch me again, speaking gently because he didn't want to upset me too much. But I still shrugged him off. Then he started to lecture me and talk about how immature I was and after all that stress that built up over all the chaos, I just blew up.

And now look where I was...

I sighed and squeezed his hand tightly, lowering my head and holding back tears because I didn't want to cry.

No...I didn't deserve to cry.

I surveyed the hospital room, seeing my dad on a chair not too far from me. His head rested on his hand, eyes closed as he slept. I couldn't blame him, he barely got any sleep before I had to be a total flatfooted dipshit and cause this whole dilemma. Then I stared at Porrim and Cronus who sat at a small little couch on the other side of the hospital bed. Cronus was also asleep, leaning against the couch, arms crossed and light snores coming from him. Porrim, on the other hand, was very much awake and watching Kankri with the careful intent of a mother hen. She nearly destroyed me, slapping me across the face with enough force and sound to make everyone within a 50 foot radius cringe, when I explained what had happened and yelling and screaming about how idiotic and cruel I was. How Kankri had nearly ran out of her house with how worried he was and how many times she talked him down to give me space. It took Cronus, Dad and two doctors to hold her back until she could relax. She always was very protective of Kankri.

God, I'm such a terrible human being.

I bit my lip and chanced a look at Porrim. She was looking at me as well, her eyes were less intense than earlier and more tired than anything.

"Porrim..."

"I'm sorry for hitting you Karkat..it was too rash of me.."

"No. I deserved it."

She opened her mouth to say more when a noise stopped us both in our tracks. Our eyes widened as we stared down at the stirring figure on the bed. Kankri's eyes squeezed tight for a moment before they slowly cracked open. A light groan escaped him as his eyes opened further to take in the sight of the room he was in. Cronus and dad had chosen that moment to wake up, bleary eyes soon registering Kankri being awake.

"Kankri? Aw shit chief, I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Are you feeling okay, Kanny? You're not too damaged, are you?"

"Son, are you in any pain or such?"

Kankri didn't answer. Instead, he just sat up and blinked, rubbing his eyes and mumbling quietly. We all just sat there and stared at him. I decided to speak up finally, squeezing his hand again and gaining his attention. His head turned to look at me, eyes wide with something that I never saw in him for years.

Was that...innocent childishness?

"Hey Kankri..um, you doing okay? Look, I just wanted to say...I'm sorry. What I said back there...it was really wrong.."

I lowered my eyes again, not finishing my sentence because of how guilty I really felt. Guess you never know the damage your anger can do until you're calm, have a clear head and see exactly what discord you caused. I felt a hand on my head soon enough, ruffling it with such a hesitant and amazed movement that I peered up to catch a glance at his face. He was pouting and bit his lip before speaking.

"Karky! Why are you so sad looking? And what do you mean by what you did?"

My eyebrows probably went past my hairline and through the roof, off into fucking space. He sounded way different than the Kankri we all know. He sounded more...younger and enthusiastic. Kind of like how he was when he was 7. I paused for a moment before I said anything else to him.

"Uh...Karky? Kankri, since when have you called me that?"

"What do you mean silly? I've been calling you that for forever! And whoa! Why are you older? You look so different. Ah! Wait, I'm older too! My voice got reeeaally deep and stuff. Cool~!"

I just gave him a dumbfounded look while he giggled mirthfully at my attempt to grasp his speaking and attitude. He looked over at Dad and grinned, waving at him.

"Hi daddy! Why do you look so surprised?"

"I-I..Um, well.."

He giggled again, "Hehe, you're so funny daddy~"

We were all in shock and couldn't even scrounge up even muster or ability to talk because this was so fucking different than what we were used to. Even if this was some joke, Kankri would never act like this for so long. He glanced at Porrim and gasped lightly. He moved a bit closer to Porrim and rested his hand on her cheek.

"Porrim? You look older and different too! Your hair's longer and you have those thingies in your face. Hehe, they're shiny too. And you look pretty too. Like mommy used to!"

That struck a chord obviously.

Dad and I froze up like we were just spotted by a maniacal, meat cleaver toting villain. I bit my lip and looked at my hands still holding his when I felt his hand squeeze mine and I spared a look at him. He seemed genuinely apologetic for mentioning her when she was still such a sore topic even after 10 years.

"Sorry..I didn't.."

"No Kankri. It's okay."

"Oh...okay! If you uh, say so.."

He smiled brightly at me and I couldn't help but smile back. Soon his attention had wandered to Cronus and he nearly fell out of bed in excitement as he moved to hug him.

"Cro!"

"Agh! Uh, hey chief, you shouldn't exert yourself so much y'know?"

"What's 'exert' mean? It sounds like a really big word for you to use Cro~ Hey, you're older just like everyone else! I like your jacket and your hair too~! You look like those guys from the movie I watched before."

I blinked at him. Just like it had started, we were all silent and couldn't say anything but one thing was on our mind.

What the hell was going on?

A/N: And there we are~ Ooh, I bet you weren't expecting that, were you? But anyways, what happened to Kankri? And how is everyone going to fix it let alone get a grasp on how it happened. Any one of you precious angel baby readers know what happened? If you do, tell me in your reviews~ Signing off 'til next chapter!