Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just like I don't own Sanzo, although I desperately wish I did...T.T
Author's Notes: I love the summer! Unfortunately, it's over, and I haven't updated in months -- I apologize to anyone who's still reading this thing…
Warnings: People who have problems with bl (boy love) and wrong scenarios, why are you even here? You should've had a problem with me 4 chapters ago!
Chapter 7: Misery Loves Company
They say love makes the world go round. Well, guess they've never heard of gravity.
Tsunade's Day Planner
Task: 1) Write letter to Haruno Sakura
Task: 2) Get self some sake
Task: 3) Set broody Hyuuga up with broody Uchiha
"That...that..." Neji stuttered uncontrollably as his head spun from an overload of impossible information.
"You did all of that, Neji. In about 5 hours time. All of it."
"But...but..."
"No buts!" Lee lectured firmly. "Now do you realize the severity of your actions? How do you plan on making up for all this?"
Neji still hadn't gotten over the initial shock. He had revealed some deep dark secrets to Ino of all people? He had sexually harassed his own cousin? WHAT?
"But...how come I don't remember any of it?" He exclaimed wildly, "Not a single bit of it! How do your explain that?"
Tenten pondered for a moment. "Well, I'm more surprised you didn't get alcohol poisoning from all the sake you drank. That might be an explanation."
"I don't drink!" Neji protested, "I don't believe in drinking!"
"Well," Lee retorted, "Your drunk self does."
"But...she's my cousin!" He flailed his arms about for a while.
"Neji...Neji, Neji, Neji...I am so disappointed in you." Gai tisked at him disapprovingly and waved his hand dismissively.
"I'm all for the springtime of youth, but that's just taking it too far."
Neji blanched visibly. Gai was lecturing him on his springtime of youth? It was Gai who had been trying to persuade him to show more affection towards other people for the past ten years of his life in the first place!
The three of them stood in an awkward silence.
Honestly, out of the three of them, did anybody expect Neji to be the one that breaks first?
"Neji!"
They all turned to see Ino running at them full speed. Normally, Neji would've been impassive about it, but anything that broke him out of this weird silence was welcome now.
"I got a letter from Tsunade-sama!" She managed out between gasps of air. "It's addressed to you only so I didn't even open it!"
Even? Neji mused it over slowly in his head. He had always thought that you weren't supposed to open other people's mail anyway.
Without a word, he took the envelope and took out the letter.
Hyuuga Neji,
This is your Hokage. I have heard the news, and I must admit I was surprised at first, but not so much afterwards. When didn't you just tell me? That would've saved so much time! Anyway, I have your next mission prepared for you.
Neji's eyes dropped to the bottom of the page. They stayed there for a while.
"...Neji?" Tenten asked curiously. It wasn't like their almighty Hyuuga to stand dumbfounded and glaring at a piece of paper.
They all jumped to catch him when he fainted dead away.
Sasuke yawned tiredly as he walked out of his house and into the street. It sure was hectic and loud outside for his day off. The one day that Kakashi-sensei let them off so he could buy the new Icha Icha and it just HAD to be noisy outside his house.
He couldn't even eat a peaceful lunch.
Shoving away the fangirls and occasional fanboy, he innocently made his way to his mailbox.
Bill...
Fanmail...
Ad...
Fanmail...
1 hour later...
Fanmail...
Fanmail...
Huhn, a letter from the Hokage. That was weird. Since when did the Hokage send mail? She could usually summon people within 10 minutes in her office.
Ah, the innocence...
Uchiha Sasuke,
This is your Hokage. I know this is completely unconfirmed, but since you're so beautiful and you pay absolutely no attention to your beautiful fangirls, I have decided to mark you gay. Now, now, don't panic, I'm not asking you to announce it to the world. I just want you to do me a big favor. I need you to go on a date with Hyuuga Neji, and get him out of that damned closet of his.
You know how he is. I'm sorry to ask this of you, seeing as how you're much more comfortable around Naruto, but I swear I'll make this up to you somehow. And don't try to get out of this either, because even though I'm asking nicely, this is still an order from your Hokage. Other than that...enjoy your date tonight!
Tsunade (Who is still your superior Hokage)
Sasuke nodded slowly as he carefully read the letter twice thanks to habit. He calmly folded it up again and put it in the envelope.
He shoved away a horde of fangirls again as he headed back to his house.
They all crowded around his door as it closed. Then, they all left quite abruptly when the right side of Sasuke's house exploded into smithereens.
The Chidori was quite terrifying indeed...
To obey or disobey...that was the question.
Neji preferred to just burn the letter and go tell his Hokage to shove it but then again, he would probably be dead before the words left his mouth. She was terrifying...and strong...and had a terrible temper.
Besides, it was just one little date, right? Anybody who saw them would naturally assume that the two loners had found friends in each other.
Pfft, wishful thinking. With Ino and Sakura BOTH working together on this, the news would probably spread like a cooties epidemic.
Neji wished something would fall from the ceiling and suffocate him while he was lying on the hard bed of Konoha hospital. In his humble but unwanted opinion, Tenten and Lee had WAY overreacted to his fainting. Wouldn't anybody faint if they got a letter from their normally dependable Hokage to go on a date with someone of the sex you had absolutely no interest in?
Of course! He freaked out reasonably! He had no interest in Uchiha Sasuke or males at all for that matter!
"Neji."
Neji's eyebrow barely twitched at the sound of Tenten's voice, but it was enough for her.
"I saw that Hyuuga Neji. Now stop pretending to be asleep or else I'll poke you."
When he obviously didn't believe what she said, Tenten made good with the threat and poked him between his ribs.
He sputtered and reluctantly gave in by sitting up. Damn her for knowing where he was ticklish.
"Are you going?" She asked curiously.
Neji sighed and closed his eyes. Of all the questions to ask him, why ask something so hard?
"I don't know."
"Well...you should probably decide because you're going to have to do this eventually and Tsunade-sama is coming back in like...a week."
He felt like weeping into his pillow. But since he had company and he just happened to be in love with said company, he would do no such thing. However, that did not make the desire to lessen in the least.
"Neji!" Tenten said, clearly exasperated, "You need to stop spacing out on me! Just tell me whether you feel for him or not!"
Neji's head whipped to look at her so fast she knew within a fraction of a second that she had said the wrong thing.
"I. Am. Not. Gay." He spaced the words carefully for her.
Tenten looked at him sideways. "But...the note says you are. And you pay no attention to your fangirls...and I've never seen you blush or act like you have a crush around any girls."
In his head, Neji had answers for all of them; the main one being that he was in love with a certain girl sitting in front of him, but his pride and arrogance stopped the answer long before it reached his tongue.
"There you go!" She exclaimed, "You're spacing out again! God, Neji, just tell me if you're gay!"
"No!" He annunciated for her and leaned his face in so she could take a nice long look in his eyes and confirm that he was telling the truth.
"You are so!" She retorted, feeling completely put out and a little annoyed that he kept going off into la-la land.
"I am not!" He was practically on the verge of just clamping his mouth onto hers to shut her up.
"You are TOO!"
By this point, all he wanted to do was rip his hair out and scream. Why were people always insisting that he was gay?
"Look!" He almost yelled at her, "If I were gay, then I wouldn't – couldn't – be in love with yo-"
He cut off abruptly, eyes wide only to find that she had a very similar expression on her face also.
"...What?" She said so quietly he had to strain to hear.
"Nothing." He replied and looked away, cheeks growing warm and heart thudding around wildly.
What in the Gods possessed him to say something like that?
"Neji..." Tenten started gently, feeling bad for yelling at him, "Who are you in love with?"
"Nobody." He said stubbornly and closed his eyes. Of all the days...of all the things he could've said. Of all the people he had to say it to.
An awkward silence fell on the two of them.
"Okay." Tenten said at last and got up, still confused and feeling complete vertigo. "Get well..." But by that point, she was so out of it that it came out a whisper.
Unbeknownst to her, it fell on deaf ears anyway. Neji was silently counting to a thousand in his head and trying to calm himself down. It would have been an understatement to say he was relieved when she finally left his room.
He turned his head to look out his window and quietly took in the sunshine.
Anything. Anything would be better than thinking about what just happened. Anything would be better than thinking of what Tenten was thinking right that minute.
Brooding...
"NEJI!" A voice cried, completely breaking him out of his tense reverie. Of course, when he actually saw who it was, he realized he would've preferred to just fall unconscious again.
"Neji!" Lee cried and grabbed his hands. "Are you all right? I just saw Tenten leave with an odd, un-youthful expression on her face and I had thought you died!"
Neji stared at the bowl-headed, spandex-wearing boy blankly. Was he supposed to thank him now?
"Neji!" Lee cried again, "Say something! Don't tell me you've lost your voice, crying over the grief of fainting dead away in front of three lovely women, your teammate, and your sensei!"
This time, Neji almost started to slouch from the hopelessness of his situation. God, he would really rather have any other distractions to get Lee away from him...
It was strange how fate played Hyuuga Neji.
Next thing both of them knew, his hospital room door banged open and in walked Uchiha Sasuke.
That was weird. He didn't even know the guy very well; much less expect a visit from him. Hell, he hadn't even ever talked to Sasuke before...the most they've ever done was probably smirk at something or someone together.
"..." Neji said, since it was the only thing that came to mind.
Sasuke opened his mouth to say something, looked like he was about to throw up, closed his mouth, opened it again, resembled a fish, and then opened his mouth one last time to say something.
He was cut off when Sakura and Ino ran in behind him and squealed while looking at him.
Ok...now things were suspicious and creepy.
"What...?" Neji muttered none to nicely, seeing as how he had just pissed Tenten off.
Sasuke looked like he was about to commit suicide. Then, all of a sudden, a look of pure determination appeared on his face and he swallowed the huge ball of discomfort in his throat.
"Hyuuga Neji, I'm going to take you out on a date tonight."
Neji changed his mind. He might've wanted a distraction, but not this far.
((( TBC )))
Mergh...I know, nothing happened, but I really haven't updated in SUCH a long time...so there u go. XD For all of u who ARE still reading this, don't forget to leave a review. I'm too caught up with Final Fantasy VII ( CLOTI ROCKS! ) so it may take me a while to update this thing.