June 11th, 2013

The first two books from Crawley Publishing will be written by Crawleys. The Forgotten Daughter by yours truly and Lost in Tradition by father. My head is spinning from either nerves or excitement, I'm unsure at the moment. This evening was the launch party, an evening meant to celebrate me (in part), truly staggering. I'm finding that my father and I are terribly similar, as his separation from mother has shown. Both quiet, both proud, both certain we're undeserving of love. Never in a million years would I have thought I'd find myself here.

"You look lovely, dear." Father told me as I helped the caterer arrange the bar.

"Thank you." I smiled, fixing my skirt for the hundredth time. I had settled on a simple, dark blue dress. Fitted and a mite shorter than usual but quite respectable and rather fetching.

"Nervous?"

"Unbearably so."

"It will be fine."

"Yes… yes, of course."

That was the last chance we had to speak during the party. It seemed as though a sea of people flooded in at once. Sybil was sunshine as usual, her Irish chap in tow. I quite happily avoided Mary, thanks to Anthony's height the pair was easy to spot and evade. I still wasn't sure how to face him.

Three champagnes into the evening I became aware of the clinking of a glass. Staying put in the corner I had secluded myself in. I followed suit though, turning towards where father stood.

"I'd like to thank you all for coming out tonight to support this venture Edith and I have embarked on. Although I suspect many of you are here for the open bar. Regardless we appreciate the support. We've got two books coming off the presses quite soon. A marvelous fiction written by my daughter and a droll piece from yours truly."

There in lay the difference between father and myself. He could hide his shyness, surpass it when need be. I meanwhile was quite pleased to slink off to my office, where I could hide until the crowd dispersed. I left the lights off, pleased to stand at the window and look out at the lights of London.

"You look beautiful this evening." Came a quiet voice from behind me.

"You enjoyed sneaking up on me, Anthony."

"I do rather. Party seems to be going well."

"Yes."

"You have no interest in parties?"

"Just a low tolerance. And as I have another to attend tomorrow…"

"What's tomorrow's celebration?"

"My birthday."

"Many happy returns."

"Thank you."

"I don't suppose…"

"What is it?"

"Perhaps I could give you a kiss, as a gift?"

"You're very sure of your kissing abilities." I couldn't help but smile.

"They rank rather high, with my ability to sneak up on unsuspecting redheads."

"I suppose a kiss would be a lovely birthday present. Certainly unique."

Anthony nodded, slowly closing the space between us. One arm wrapped around my waist while the other moved up my back to my shoulders. His kissing abilities should be documented… which is what I'm doing here I suppose. My knees buckled. They literally buckled, I had to hold onto him because I thought I might fall down. There was a passion to the man that didn't appear on the surface.

"Happy birthday, Edith."

"Happy birthday, Anthony… no wait. Sorry. Thank you… I mean." I honestly had no idea how any words were finding their way out of my mouth. "Kiss me again, please."

He had this almost roguish smile, which would have appeared suspicious on any other man but we quite dashing on him. He was about to kiss me again when we had company.

"Eeds? I thought I saw you skulk off this way…" Michael's voice seemed to be coming from another universe. I hadn't even realized he was at the party.

"Michael? What are you doing here?" I started to pull back from Anthony but neither of us were completely ready to let go.

"Richard passed his invitation off to me. Thought we could have a chat. Didn't realize you were busy… with Strallan of all people."

"Gregson." Anthony scowled.

"I think you should go, Michael."

"I just wanted to have a quick word, Eeds. I wanted to apologize about… well about everything." I couldn't help but glance nervously between the two men. Michael's treatment had been reprehensible, but Anthony was dating Mary, he wasn't mine.

"Right. I'll just leave you to it then." Anthony seemed rather dejected but moved to the door just the same.

"Cheating on one sister with the other, sounds like the sort of behavior you've condemned others for." Michael quipped as Anthony passed him. The men stopped and glowered at each other for a moment before the latter carried on his way.

"Was that necessary?" I asked when we were alone.

"Yes. Look, Edith I wanted to apologize for…"

"For lying about being married and leading me on for months then making me feel like an idiot for not knowing from the start what a cad you are?"

"More or less." He shrugged, trying to give me that dashing smile. Little did he know my immunity had grown in our time apart. "I've left her."

"That's too bad."

"Hi, sorry." Anthony suddenly appeared at the door again, looking rather determined. "I can't let that go unanswered, so if you would be so kind as to step outside."

"Should I bring my sword or my dueling pistols?"

"This has waited too long, so outside now or will I have to drag you?"

I can't quite describe what happened next, it seemed to happen in slow motion and high speed at the same time. Anthony and Michael stumbled out into the street outside, the whole of the party following them (except for Mary and Matthew, I'll give you one guess where they were). Anna and Sybil instantly appeared by my side, trying to ask what had led to this and which side we were on, I simply shrugged and hoped that the embarrassingly awful fight would end. They both seemed hesitant to get close enough to actually throw a punch and started kicking and awkwardly lunging at each other. The men from the party were shouting to just land a punch already.

Then it happened.

They stumbled into the decorative fountain at the park across the way.

"What are you going to do, Strallan? Drown me in ankle high water?"

"Yes." He answered after a moment of thought, lunging at him again.

Finally things seemed to wind down, both of them out of breath and climbing out of the fountain. Anthony had started to walk away when Gregson called:

"No wonder your clever wife went elsewhere."

It took less than a second for Anthony to close the space between them, his fist landed against Michael's face, hard enough that he went down. Anthony stood there, out of breath, soaking wet, and simply staring at me. But I couldn't ignore the fact that Michael was motionless on the pavement.

"Was that really necessary?" I asked, going to help Michael up.

"Apparently. Brought me back to my senses."

With that Anthony disappeared in the crowd that was moving back towards the party. Father moved towards where I was crouched next to Michael, trying to help him to his feet.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

"Never thought the wanker would actually do it." He bristled, touching the small trace of blood that was journeying down his cheek.

"You provoked him." I pointed out.

"Had to be said… Look, I'm sorry Edith. I want you back. If I can't make it work with you then I can't make it work with anyone."

I let go of him, taking a step back.

"That's not a good enough offer for me." I said simply before walking away. Father was waiting for me, putting an arm around my shoulders and walking me back towards the offices.

"I'm proud of you, Edith."

"I feel like an idiot."

"Crawley curse, that. Hide in your office, I'll let you know when the coast is clear."

"Thanks, papa." I managed weakly as he led me to the side door.

When the party had cleared out father and I found ourselves sitting in the two leather chairs in the waiting room, each with a flute of champagne, surveying the damage.

"The cleaning ladies won't be pleased." I mused.

"I told them they could take home the unopened case of champagne."

"What will we have for breakfast then?"

"I don't know." He laughed. It was so nice to hear my father laughing again. "My darling daughter, how are you feeling?"

"Sufficiently buzzed and officially one year older."

He glanced down at his watch then reached for the bottle to refill both of our glasses.

"So you are, happy birthday, darling."

"Thank you."

"Now that Gregson is out of the way will you be pursuing Anthony?"

"What's the point?"

"He's fond of you, you're fond of him."

"Hardly. I can't imagine he's very fond of me after tonight."

"Well you can't blame the man after what Gregson did to him."

"You can't blame a man for delivering bad news."

"You can when the news he's delivering is that he's been sleeping with your wife."

"What?" I nearly dropped my glass.

"Gregson was sleeping with Maude, got into a fight with Anthony and arranged it so that he walked in on the two of them together. Broke Anthony's heart. Didn't you know that?"

"No… I had no idea. Michael gave me an abridged version of the story."

"A new topic?" He suggested, noticing my mood. "What would you like for your birthday?"

"I already received the best gift I never would have asked for."

"What was…" The words fell silent and I suddenly realized he was staring at the door. There stood mother.

"Edith." She smiled briefly before looking back to father.

"I'll just…" I stumbled, pointing towards my office. I could hear them, mama apologizing, trying to explain what a mistake it all had been, that she had missed him so desperately. Reconciliation was in sight and I suddenly decided to make another stupid decision.

Grabbing my bag and sweater, I hurried out of the office and through the streets of London until I found the street I was looking for. I knew where he lived of course, how could I not with the way Mary liked to boast. With no consideration for the time I rang the bell and waited. Ringing it again and again. When the door finally swung open I couldn't help but smile, an expression that quickly faded when I found myself face to face with an elderly housekeeper.

"Oh. I'm so sorry… is this the Strallan residence?" I asked.

"It is, but Sir Anthony has left for the country."

"Left? When?"

"Just a few hours ago, miss. He came home, changed, packed a bag and left." I nodded blankly and thanked the woman before returning to the street.

I've royally fucked it all up. Without even trying.

x-X-x

A few lines of dialogue are taken from the movie in this chapter.