July 26th, 2013

It's been over a month since the events of the launch party. Anthony seems to have disappeared from the face of the earth. According to Mary he took a sabbatical from work, she smirked as she told me how he called her personally to let her know. Of course she won't mention where he is and instantly changed the subject to the fact that she was now lead on the case they were working on. Poor Anthony, probably has no idea Mary has only been using him as a stepladder for her career.

I can't stop thinking about him. Even in the midst of a mountain of work. Which leaves me rather angry, because at the very least I was once able to hide in my work, let it consume me. And business is picking up rather nicely. My concerns about father letting his focus drift after mother returned were wonderfully unfounded. I had nervously asked him about his intentions only to be told:

"My darling daughter, this is not a fly by night venture." And that was that.

Next weekend will be spent at Downton, an early anniversary party for my parents. I intend to hide in work until then. Maybe even after… am I too young to become a hermit?

x-X-x

Aug 3rd, 2013

Diary, I present you with yet another entry in which I reaffirm my position as the biggest disaster in all the land.

It's nearly midnight now; the embarrassment has yet to lessen. I suppose it will take years.

Mary has won again.

The anniversary party snuck up on me rather quickly. Though for the first time in my life I didn't dread a return to Downton. In fact, I was rather looking forward to it. Father had come down a few days earlier, working happily from home while mother saw to the arrangements. The house was in a flurry when I arrived, the greeting so very different from those of the past. Father stood and hugged me, mother pausing to kiss my cheek and order me to keep all Crawley Publishing business for either before or after the party.

I nodded, my mind occupied elsewhere. It was a short walk to Locksley… one that I would be able to make quickly without anyone noticing that I had gone. So I slipped out through the kitchen door, walking through the woods I had loved as a child. My sundress was comfortable but I still felt rather fetching in it. The white material was billowing in the breeze; the pale yellow flowers looked as though I had stole them from a nearby field… I'm getting terribly poetic about this.

My hand shook terribly as a rang the bell and waited for someone, hopefully…

"Anthony!" I expected him, yet I was still surprised to see him standing there.

"Edith." He nodded rather stiffly. "To what do I owe the honor?"

"I wanted to… I wanted to speak with you, about what happened. I had tried to that night. But when I got to your house the maid told me that you had already left. Running off a man within an hour, that has to be a record." I laughed nervously.

"Anthony! Who is it? Is she here?" I heard an older woman call from inside.

"No, mother it's…"

"Oh, she's a Crawley if ever I've seen one." Clara Strallan is a remarkably beautiful woman. I could only imagine what she looked like in her youth, how stunning she must have been with eyes as blue as Anthony's and beautiful dark brown curls that were now streaked with silver. "Come in, dear. You look exactly like your Aunt Rose. And here I thought that you would look just like your mother. I am pleased to see that some of the fairer coloring managed to get through. Oh, it will make for the most splendid babies."

"I'm sorry?" I managed in shock.

"Mother…" Anthony tried again, only to be cut off once more.

"I've made you uncomfortable. I'm terribly sorry, dear. I do have a tendency to prattle on when I'm excited. Come through, Harold has been looking forward to meeting you as well." She took me by the arm, pulling me past Anthony and down the nearest hallway. I managed to glance back at Anthony as he followed, a grim look on his face as he ran a hand through his hair. "Harold, Mary is here."

"What?" I gasped.

"Ah, at last. It's a pleasure to meet you. I must say, you don't look anywhere near as severe as your reputation would lead one to believe. Although I'm sure that's a blessing in the courts." Harold Strallan stood to greet me, holding out his hand. I had to tilt my head slightly to look up at him, he was as tall as his son. It seemed as though Anthony had been fortunate to inherit all goodness and likeness from his parents.

"I'm not…" I tried.

"Here to talk business. Yes, we know. We were so pleased when Anthony told us that he would be settling down again. Hopefully with someone a bit more steady than Maude was." Clara interrupted.

"Yes. Though we found it rather unconventional that you were the one to suggest marriage, but modern women will break tradition." Harold added.

"I'm not Mary!" I finally managed, the tears stinging my eyes.

"What?" His parents seemed to ask in a chorus.

"That's what I was trying to say." Anthony explained. "This is Mary's sister, Edith."

"Oh goodness. I'm terribly sorry, dear. I just… well the way you and Anthony were looking at each other at the door and you are the kind of woman I always pictured Anthony marrying."

"Mother!" Anthony sighed.

"Well she is. A unique beauty, that's what I always pictured for you. Mother's do that sort of thing. I'm sorry if we overwhelmed you dear."

"It's all right. I didn't… I hadn't heard about the engagement…" I some how managed to maintain some composure, mostly by digging my nails into the palm of my hand. Turning to Anthony I choked out a congratulations.

"Thank you." He answered quietly.

"I should go. Lots to do before tonight."

"Yes. We're looking forward to it. The announcement will be made then." Clara seemed almost timid as she shared the information. I swallowed hard and nodded to the elder Strallans.

"It was wonderful to meet you."

I hurried from the room as quickly as humanly possible, running straight into the doorframe. Though that didn't slow me down, I kept moving, trying to reach the front.

"Edith." I heard Anthony call after me.

I froze, my hand on the knob, so close to be free of this horrible situation.

"Edith, why did you come here today?" He asked, moving closer to me so his eavesdropping mother couldn't hear.

"It doesn't matter anymore. I do… I do hope that you'll be happy with Mary."

"Please, why are you here?"

"I didn't want you to go that night, most days we've had together I didn't want you to go afterwards. I wanted to kiss you again." The words came spilling out of my mouth, racing faster than the censor in my head. "I… I quite love you. I can't really explain it, but I do. And I had thought… doesn't matter what I thought now. I was never going to get back together with Michael, I didn't want to. You had been right about him, you've been right about so many things."

"Edith…"

"Don't let Mary hurt you." I cut him off quickly. "You deserve so much better. Better than her, better than me. I'm sorry, Anthony."

"Anthony? What's going on here?" Came a voice from the stairs behind me. There stood Mary, dressed for a law firm cocktail party rather than a summer's afternoon.

"I was just leaving. I'll see you tonight…" I started past her. "Congratulations."

"Don't be depressed about it, Eeds. I hear Michael Gregson has left his wife. Perhaps you could be in the running for number two?" Mary offered with a smug grin.

I can't begin to explain what happened next. Though I certainly consider myself justified, and I know Anthony would agree as he heard what she said to me. My fist was already clenched tightly in an effort to keep my emotions in check. But that was the final straw, which is why Mary arrived at the party tonight with a black eye.

They announced the engagement, much to the surprise of everyone. I could feel my father's eyes on me after it was said. The applause rang in my ears, drowning out the sound of my rapid heartbeat. I couldn't stay in that room any longer.

I suppose I'll always be haunted by the thoughts of what could have been. What my life with Anthony would have been like. I had already resigned myself to the life of a spinster, not I just have a tragic little story to go along with it all.

"Really, Edith. Even your diary is over dramatic." Mary sighed, flipping through the last few pages.

"Give me that!" Edith cried, nearly running towards where her sister sat near the fireplace in the study.

"I don't think I will. You've written some terrible things in here, darling sister. Though I can't say I'm all that surprised, you've always been jealous."

"Jealous? Of you? You must not have read that very closely." She countered with a laugh, trying to put herself between Mary and the hearth. "Mary, I see right through you."

"Too bad boring old Strallan doesn't, right? Then you two could be married, having dull children together, live a dull life in the country. You could write your books while he takes his afternoon naps."

"Why are you marrying him?" Edith all but shouted, just loud enough to draw the attention of Robert who decided to wait just outside of his daughters' view. "Anthony Strallan is a good man and you don't love him."

"Mostly for fun I suppose. A nice cushioned life, I've still got Matthew for fun, I've got Anthony as my in for work. And he's so lovesick and confused over you, old dolt doesn't know which way is up. Made me very easy to suggest marriage after that little display at the party."

"I pity you. I really do. How horrible it must be to have to be in that head of yours."

"I'm going to have my cake and eat it too… come to think of it, I'll be enjoying your cake as well." She laughed. Edith took the opportunity, pulling her diary free of her sister's grasp and hurrying out of the doors closest to her. Just as she left, Robert slipped into the room, slamming the door behind him.

"I think we need to have a talk, Mary." Robert's tone was almost frightening. It was one that Mary had never been on the receiving end of and at the sound of it she shrunk into the couch.

"Yes, father."

x-X-x

Edith decided to skip a day or two in her diary. Frankly she couldn't stand to relate what had happened the night before. Instead she opted for a walk through the gardens. As much as she enjoyed city life, she did miss the gardens of Downton. There was a bench beneath one of the large trees that offered a shaded place to rest. With a quiet sigh she sat, resting her back against the cool bark. Despite her down mood, Edith still wore a bright floral dress. It didn't match how she was feeling, but it was too hot out to be depressed.

"My darling girl, what are you doing out here?" Her father asked, taking the spot next to her.

"Thinking." She shrugged.

"I'm sure I can guess."

"Please don't. I don't want to talk about it."

"Not even with him?" Robert asked, gesturing to the tall man walking towards them.

"What is he doing here?" Edith asked, mustering a bit of fake calm.

"It would seem that he and Mary have realized that their engagement was ill-advised."

"How did that happen?"

"A rather brilliant man intervened."

"Father…"

"I would have regardless. He's in love with you too. Don't be too hard on him." With that Robert headed back towards the house as Anthony appeared in front of Edith.

"I'm an idiot." He began earnestly.

"I believe I hold that title." She corrected with a small smile.

"Perhaps we could share?" Anthony ventured carefully, waiting for her to grant permission to sit.

"I suppose that would be all right."

Nothing was said, they simply sat together, her hand in his as the sun made its journey across the sky. Edith found herself wondering if she had written happiness off far too early.

x-X-x

Aug 24th, 2013

We've eloped.

x-X-x

And that's all she wrote, kids. I hope you've all enjoyed this story. My immense thanks for the reviews along the way.