Sorry for being an evil person to whoever likes this story:(

I still don't own the Outsiders.

Darry POV

I stood in shocked silence after Dally left me. I would expect it from Pony, yes, Soda, Two-Bit, Steve, but not Dally. Or at least no this Dally.

I sighed after a few minutes, and began to trudge to my room, too tired and lazy to help Pony and Soda with the dishes.

Then I heard it. Everyone did, and I imagined it sounding miles and miles, out of Tulsa, into the cool black silence of the country, cutting through it like a knife.

I ran to the source of the scream: Dally, kneeling on the ground with Pony's manuscript in his hands.

To say the least, I was terrified. Why on earth was Dally screaming? Was he hurt? Pony and Soda appeared with disturbed expressions on their faces, instantly replaced with looks of concern as they realized that it was Dally screaming.

Dally stopped abruptly and stared down, blankly at the manuscript in his hands. "Dal?" Soda asked innocently.

He turned his face to us, and I shuddered.

His warm, dancing blue eyes had a sheen of ice over them, and he glared at us in a very Dallas-like way.

Dally POV

I saw my self at ten year old, sobbing after witnessing the murder of my mother. She wasn't a good mother, but she sure was better than my father had been.

He had killed her. I knew with the certainty of death that I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled out my heater and stared at it.

I put it to my head and squeezed my eyes shut. Just then a shout echoed. "Hey, kid!" I glared up at the gang who all had their guns trained on me.

"You look like a fun little shark." Jet was the term used to describe a "Soc" in New York, "shark" was a greaser type hood.. "What do you guys think? Might be fun to make him a little scared."

I trained my gun on them. "Step closer, and you will be sorry." I drawled out cooly.

"What are you gonna do, shoot yourself?" So they had seen my moment of weakness. The thought made me angrier.

I wasn't one to just sit and exchange threats. I pointed the gun at his arm, and pulled the trigger. His friends gathered around him for a second, and then a few began to chase me.

I huffed as I felt myself collide with someone. A shark. The Shark looked like he was about to bash my brains, but then he saw the Jets chasing me, and him and the rest of his gang began shooting.

I don't know how many dead bodies there were. I was too scared to check. All I knew is that that had been the second time that day that I had witnessed murder: one time was my mother and another, a group of boys I had never met.

The lead shark held his hand out to me. "Name's Gunner. Yours?"

"Dallas."

"Bomb. What do ya say about joining our gang?" I grinned up at him and nodded eagerly. "Good. You're a bomb fighter. Just one thing you have to do first..."

He pointed to my wrist, and ordered me to cut. I did, just deep enough so that I passed out for a couple of hours.

When I woke up, I was surrounded by the toughest greasers in America. And I was proud to call myself one of them.

I became aware that I was screaming. I cut off my voice and looked down once more at the manuscript. I gasped like a fish out of water, and then looked up at Darry, Soda and Pony.

Their looks of concern turned to fear. I wondered why. "Dal, are you alright?"

"Fine." I said curtly. I stood and tossed the papers back onto Pony's desk. "Sorry for snooping kid. I was looking for a cigarette."

Somehow I recognized the craving, and I actually began to want a cigarette.

"Uh, Dally you don't smoke."

"I did. Wont be too hard to start up old habits." Darry stared at me for a minute, then something seemed to click in his mind.

"Welcome back, Dallas." He said sarcastically. I grinned at him.

"Sorry to disappoint, Darry."

"Dallas..." Pony said slowly. "How do you remember..." He sounded awe filled and scared, like a little kid. He reminded me of how Johnny used to speak to me, and I suddenly remembered why I had suddenly been "cured" of my amnesia.

"I read your theme. Not a lot of it, just flipped to a random page. Listen, I'm gonna go get a beer or something at Buck's. Man, haven't been to that place in ages."

"Dally, you don't have to change back to your old self."

"Thank Darry. People don't often say 'Just hide who you truly are.'"

"This isn't who you truly are Dal. Without your memories and bad experiences, that's who you truly are. You don't have to change Dal. You're already Tuff 'Nuff."

I stared at him for a second, then I addressed Pony. "Johnny said that once, do you remember Pony?"

Pony shot a sidelong glance at Darry, then nodded silently. "So do I. I remember everything about Johnny."

"Dally, don't do anything crazy."

"Don't you see Darry? I remember everything. You-none of you- don't know what I've been through."

"Then tell us Dally. Please. We want to hear."

"No. You don't. When I was raped in jail recently? Tim's right. If I were Tuff 'Nuff, I wouldn't have even cared. If I were Tuff 'Nuff, I wouldn't care about anyone. Not you, Pony, Soda, Tim, of Johnny. But I do. I'm not Tuff 'Nuff, and that is why I can't tell you why I am the way I am."

I knocked on Tim's door, ten minutes later. He immediately opened it, and the first thing I noticed was his bruises covering his entire body.

I felt something inside me melt. My anger, maybe, as my voice came out concerned. "Tim! What happened to you?"

"Dad. What are you doing out at this time Dal?"

"Just wondering if you want to get a beer." I said innocently.

"Thanks, but you're not quite old enough to drink."

"And..."

"And that's not ok." Tim looked at me in concern.

"Tim, I remember everything. I read something Pony wrote, about Johnny, and I remember now, so let's go drown our sorrows before I take them out on someone who doesn't deserve it."

"You-"

"Yes, my memories are back." Tim looked at me kind of strangely.

"I'm sorry." I thought at that moment that maybe Tim was the only one who actually understood my situation. He hadn't exactly had the easiest life either. He had never concealed from me how pleased he was that my memories were gone. I suppose he wished for that every night, and his wish had come true for me.

I can't remember ever wishing it, but I do miss my old innocence.

"So..." Tim starts awkwardly when we sit on tall bar stools at Bucks. "You-you're back." He stammered. I nodded as I sipped the foam off of my beer on tap. "You happy?"

"Far from it. I suppose I never was happy though, so nothing's really changed." Tim winced at this and I rolled my eyes.

"You know Dal, you could choose to be like how you were after you lost your memories. You aren't the only one whos had hard times, other people just don't run away from their fears."

"You calling me a wimp?"

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"Watch it Shepard. I might just beat you up."

"You and my dad both." This stopped the conversation and I looked guiltily at him. We drank in a tense silence for about thirty seconds, then I broke it, words tumbling out of my mouth in a rush.

"I'm sorry Tim. I'm sorry about your dad, Ange, Curley. I'm sorry that I'm stupid and that you don't like how I am."

"That's just not true Dally. You aren't stupid, and I love you like a brother no matter what. I just...I wish that you could stay happy, if only for a little longer. If you were happy for longer, maybe you could learn to be happy forever. You always spoke about Dally and Dallas like different people. I think you just couldn't believe that you had done all of the questionable things you had done. Well, news flash. They're the same person. You didn't become Dally. you always were Dally. You just let that part of you show, and now you're disappointed because you think that Dallas is here to stay. But really, you are both Dally and Dallas. You can choose who you want to be."

And with that, he stood, placing some money on the counter, and walked out of the store, not even tipsy after his three beers.