Dear my avid, wonderful, beautiful and patient readers,

Thank you so much for waiting for the next chapter of this saga. I am all done with class, but will be having a VERY busy summer. I see about six to seven more chapters here and maybe just maybe another installment in the saga. I don't know we will have to see! Big shout out to Willowtreebythewater, orderofthephoneix and my faithful ladymoonscar (don't worry doll twas but a joke, but you do inspire me to write faster)

All my love,

Emma

/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/**/**/**/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/ */*/*/*/*/*/**/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/

I had been gone for a year; one whole year without seeing my friends. One year without speaking to the love of my life. One year dreaming of the day that I wouldn't be guilty of all the pain I had caused. Whenever I look back on that year I can't help but think how happy I was without them. How hallow that happiness became is part of this story, but for this moment I remember happiness with Ryan. We were sitting in our shared apartment, I was sprawled on the coach papers and books spread around me and Ryan was in the kitchen making something for dinner. I was stressed beyond all belief that I had left my ten page paper on the history of Norse Lore for the last minute, but I kind of liked it that way. I knew way more than I should about Norse Lore, hell I was a part of it and that was what I was writing the paper mostly about. I knew that I was stepping pretty close to the line of almost blowing my cover but I wasn't going to fail a paper for my cover. Or maybe I wanted to be found, in that moment I wasn't at all sure.

"Are you going to be any fun tonight?" Ryan asked from the kitchen. He was making my favorite breakfast for dinner and I could already smell the pancakes.

"Yes," I sighed typing away ferociously on his laptop. Mine was currently going under its daily inspection of virus scan and spyware hacker. Ryan was still very paranoid that they knew where I was.

"It's the Bash in the Grass tonight," he reminded me for the fifth time in the last three minutes. Scraping of plates and glasses made their way to me ears as he padded towards me.

"Yep," I snapped back finishing the last sentence. "I know. We can still go it isn't going to start for another three hours and sweetheart I will be ready to go by then."

"If you say so." He sighed putting my meal on my lap. I stood fake pissed at his words. I stormed into our shared room a smile playing coyly on my lips; I ate at my food absentmindedly while trying to pick out what I was going to wear that evening. I choose black skinny jeans, a white blouse with a blazer along with matching shoes. He came in about an hour into my getting ready process. I was in my towel my hair still air drying.

"Please tell me you're just wearing that." He smirked running one hand across my shoulders. I shrugged him off laughing.

"You wish," I smirked letting him steal a kiss from me. He changed his jeans along with his top and messed his already messy hair claiming that he was ready to go. I smirked again ignoring the comment. I started putting on my makeup his soft humming still piercing through the thick walls. It was true that I have never really spent one moment alone since that first day, but somehow it really didn't annoy me that much. It was nice to know that someone cared enough to risk everything for me, but I never really had a chance to get over all that had happened. He didn't want to hear a word about the other guy or any of the team members. Ryan had shredded the poster that once hung proudly in his dorm and burned the pieces the first chance he got.

It still hurt him to see the ring that once meant something to Bruce and I hang around my neck, and it still hurt me as well. I felt a lot of pain when it came to Bruce as well. I wondered if anything was ever going to be the same between us or anyone for that matter. It hurt me to know that I still wanted to be back there with him. I had hurt the only people who truly knew the real me and didn't judge me for the powers that were forced upon me. Ryan was there for me, but with the Avengers it had never felt the pressure. With Ryan everything was a ticking clock, two more years and we can get married. Three more years and I will have the perfect job. We can move away and never have to deal with their bullshit again. That was never what I wanted with him. I wanted out, but my penance was far from over. I had only suffered one sixteenth of the pain that I had caused the people who were my family. Was it ever possible for me to go back? Bruce would always taunt me in my dreams, moving on with Betty or something like that. It hurt more then I would ever admit to anyone. I had been the one to leave, twice. Would my sins ever be forgiven?

I finished getting ready letting my thoughts slowly disappeared. Ryan was pretending to be sleeping on the coach and I flicked his nose as I walked by picking up a beer. I sipped on it looking out the window above the sink. I had to do a double take as a mess of curly red hair ducked around the corner of the next building. I dropped the beer and sprinted towards the door. Ryan yelled after me, but I could hear him. By the time I got outside there was no trace of the Widow I swore had seen. Ryan pounded down behind me.

"What the hell, Liz?" he huffed gripping at me. I pulled away looking toward where I had seen her last. "Liz, can you please just talk to me?"

"I thought that I saw someone." I whispered turning back inside our building he followed hot on my heels.

"Who do you think it was?" he huffed locking the apartment door behind us. I went into the kitchen cleaning up the mess I had made, my hands trembling. Ryan's heavy footsteps came into the kitchen bending down to my level gripping my hands in his. "Talk to me, babe."

"I thought that I saw her, The Widow." I gulped for air falling into his waiting arms, the soggy paper towels leaking on both of us. "I thought that all we had worked for, all that we had was over. I don't want them to find me."

Ryan held tighter pushing my forehead into his collar bone. He stroked my hair unsure of what to say. "We could stay in tonight. Start packing and move on. Would that make you feel safer?"

The thought of running got my blood pumping. We would be uprooted from one of the best colleges in the national. We would have to come up with new identities, and Ryan could say goodbye to any new scholarships. We would go further under the radar then ever before. I shuddered at the thought.

"No, if we leave now, you lose everything you have worked so hard for."

"So?" he asked pulling me away from him so he could look me in the eyes. "As long as I have you nothing else could matter much."

"That's a nice gesture," I smiled puling further away and standing up. He followed a frown on his face. "But I don't think it's going to make a difference in my choice. I want to stay here. I must have imagined that anyone was there. Logically there is no way in hell they know that I'm here. We've covered our tracks to well."

"Your right," He smiled one hand firmly on my waist. He stole a kiss before cleaning up the rest of my mess. "Pack up the beer and lets head over to the party."

/**/**/*/**/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/**/*/*/*/*/**/ */*/*/*/*/**/

The Bash on the Grass was an annual party for the football players and their friends. It happened in the middle of an Iowa cornfield about fifteen miles outside of the city. It was best for everyone to be prepared to either sleep were they fell in the field or make it the mile and a half to the barn owned by one of the players. I was very unsure if the barn still belonged to one of the players among us, but it probably belonged to alumni who wanted the tradition to keep going. From what the twins had always said Bash on the Grass was as old as the football team, though I highly doubted their information. I was mostly the girl who hung out with the guys and my boyfriend, but at this party I was considered one of the girls. The cheerleaders along with the other girlfriends forced me into dancing and shots, so by the time midnight rolled around I was very drunk.

I swayed over to where Ryan was sitting a beer in his hand and a grin on his face. He was talking with a large blonde I had never seen before. A chill rolled up my spine this boy had a striking resemblance to a certain Norse God.

"Taylor," Ryan slurred using my fake name instead of my real name. He was known to slip up but we covered that track claiming my middle name was Elizabeth, I answered to both. "This is our new quarterback, Tom."

"Nice to meet you," I smiled hoping that I was hold my composure better then Ryan. The giant held out his hand a smile on his baby face. That's when I knew that he couldn't be the same God that I had once considered a friend. He was slighter, with no facial hair to speak of. I shrugged off my worries, but that was when I glanced a flash of red go through the row of corn directly behind the blonde giant. I immediately stood walking away from the protests from Ryan. I bolted into the cornfield kicking off my shoes in the process. I dug my feet into the ground tapping into the powers I had ignored for almost a full year. Someone was defiantly running away from the very spot where I stood. I bolted after the vibrations running faster than I had this morning.

This person was fast, making difficult turns and twists. I sprinted after the faint and constant patter of quick feet. The corn whipped around me cutting into my arms and face. I was never going to be able to wear this outfit ever again. The feet stopped about fifty feet in front of me. I stumbled trying to stop, I could hear the heavy breathing what seemed inches from me in the black night. I dug my feet deeper into the dirt trying to predict their next move.

"Glad I have your attention," I jumped at the familiar smooth voice. It was Barton, my skin was crawling. I turned around pulling my feet from the dirt; I heard the rustle of what I now knew was Natasha. "You need to come with us."

"Was it her earlier?" I sighed wrapping my tangled hair into a pony tail.

"Of course it was, Liz." Nat answered herself patting my back softly. I shivered at the touch. I wondered how bad they wanted to punish me for leaving. I had so many questions running though my head at the moment that I really wasn't sure what to do for my next move. I could try to run, but I was out of shape and out of practice. They would catch me within the hour. The wind picked up at the moment as if assuring me that I was correct in my assumption.

"Do I get to say goodbye? Did you get my stuff?" I whimpered showing weakness for the first time in a year.

"No, we don't think that would be wise." Clint answered ignoring the other part of the question looking towards his redhead companion.

"SHEILD cleaned it out for you, leaving a note in your hand writing. We don't want him to follow." She shrugged checking the perimeter for the fifth time in the last minute. "We should really be going; we can explain the rest in the car."

I nodded falling in step behind the Widow while the Hawk followed behind me. He reached into my back pocket pulling out the cheap disposable phone I had used for a little over a week and tossing it somewhere into the darkness. We walked for another seven minutes before jumping over a fence unto a gravel road. A sleek sliver Porsche 911 Turbo, assuming it wasn't stolen it probably belonged to Tony. My heart gave a sudden lurch at his name. Not four months ago I had mourned his loss, only to find out the little shit had been alive. I felt bad that I didn't come to help or rescue him, but neither did any of the other Avengers.

I slid into the back curling up around myself, wanting nothing more to avoid the next fifteen to twenty hours as much as possible. I wondered how that was even possible. Could I sleep for fifteen hours without letting them bother me, more than likely not. Natasha slipped into the driver seat while Clint stood outside apparently on the phone.

"How is he doing?" I murmured hoping that this was going to be are only interaction until we got back to the tower. She met her steel green eyes with mine.

"Tony is recovering the reactor is out of his chest, Steve and Darcy are thinking about the next step, Thor left with Loki in tow about three months after you bailed; we haven't heard from him since, Barton hasn't stopped looking for you since the day you left and I guess that about covers it." She glared letting the ice slip into her tone.

"I was asking about Bruce." I snapped back holding her glace steady.

"He bailed not three weeks after you left. Tony didn't think we should be looking for you, so Bruce lost it and left; last we heard he was somewhere in Antarctica." I froze dropping my eyes from the mirror. Antarctica is where he last tried to end it all, which was not the place I wanted to drive him to. "Were not even sure he knows about what's been going on."

Clint chose that moment to slip into the car. He gave Natasha a somewhat hard glance. She nodded throwing that car into gear and speeding down the lonely road. I looked behind me only to be greeted with the heart breaking scene of three to six giant football players barreling out of the corn field. Only one continued to chase after the car long after the sleek sliver car was out of sight. I cried well after we were out of the state.

(Bruce POV)

"Hey Doc, it's the Hawk. We are going to back to the tower now. I know you don't really want to be found right now, but I just want you to know that if you don't come back we will find you." The phone clicked shut while Bruce ran a nervous hand over his face. He quickly threw the disposable into the nearby river. He had been in Bali for a total of three days. He had been traveling for the last few weeks, leaving the depressing cold that he had exiled himself to for the last eleven months. He wondered how Barton kept getting his number. He guessed Tony had something to do with it. The name burned down his spine. Anger, sadness and guilt pushed through his body. The other guy remained questioning under his skin, wondering how to react to what Bruce was feeling at the moment.

As soon as he left the ice like prison he created for himself he checked on each of the Avengers except for her. He still had no idea where she would have gone and some nights that ate him up on the inside. The guilt was almost as bad as the bone crushing loneliness that seemed to follow him everywhere. Tony had needed his help and for about a week he had been considered dead. Why hadn't anyone else come to his rescue? Had he suggested it? Where did the Avengers spread out? Clearly Barton was on his way back, but what happened to the rest of his one time friends. He wondered if the Widow was still with Barton looking for the missing link in their shitty little family.

The sun was high in the bright blue sky people were bustling about him in there third world marketplace. He needed to keep moving maybe he could make his way back to the cold prison, without causing SHEILD to come after him. He dug into his pocket at the picture he had kept all this time only in his pocket he didn't need to look at it to know that it was. The picture she had given him a whole year ago frayed and folded, but still depicting a time when he was truly happy. It burned liked the heat of the fire he once let consume him.