Wow so, i haven't updated in like a week... i've been reading loveless, yeah, not exactly an excuse.. has anyone else read loveless? i was crying because i got so angry at Seimei! but i really like Nisei now...
anywho, all my exams are over so i should be updating a bit more frequently. dont expect any updates on weekends though, because i have to work. and im sorry that this story has become such crap.
On the Akatsuki's fourth day in Konaha, Deidara was told he'd be able to perform. Needless to say, the entire camp was woken by his excited reaction – otherwise known as screaming – and he was promptly thrown out of the infirmary, where'd he'd gone to get a checkup.
Konan was waiting outside for him.
"You can't perform tonight," she said, the usual airiness of her voice gone, leaving her sounding mean and cold. "Not tonight."
Deidara frowned, fighting to resist the urge to pout. He wasn't a child and so wouldn't behave as one, simple as that. "I've been given the all-clear, un, so I think I can," he said matter-of-factly.
"Deidara," Konan warned, "don't mess with me right now, I swear I will break every bone in your body if you don't listen to me."
Deidara couldn't help but laugh at her though, because it was just like it had been when he was little. He would be disobedient, perhaps in the smallest of ways but it would still get her riled up, and she would growl some outlandish promise – not a threat, but a promise – to get him to behave the way she wanted. And he always would, because he knew she was only trying to look out for him. She knew the future and everything it held. She had the universes secrets in her hands and therefore, anything she said had a reason behind it.
But not anymore. Konan didn't know anything anymore. She had no secrets, no insight into tomorrow or even two minutes ahead. And that was exactly why Deidara said what he said next.
"I'm going to perform tonight Konan un, no matter what you try to do to stop me," because of course, she would try. "I think from now on un, only good things will happen. I have a good feeling this time around un, I can't explain it but I think everything will be fine."
"You're wrong," Konan muttered, resisting the urge to simply strangle Deidara and get it over with, "this world is rotten and the people in it are doomed only to live rotten lives before they all perish, suffering disastrous, tragic fates."
"Hmm, if that's so un, then why can't you see me? You've only been able to see bad things up until now, right? And now you can't even tell me for sure that my future will be dark and gloomy. The only thing I can assume from that is that only good things will happen from now on, un. Only good and no bad," despite his words, the tension in the air was almost palpable, "you told me once didn't you un, that you thought only bad things were ever going to happen because that was all you saw? Don't you think there's a possibility that things have changed for the better, un and you just can't see it because your heart has abandoned all hope?"
"No," Konan said stubbornly. "That's not the way things work. They've never worked that way and they never will."
"Never is –"
"It's a very long time, yes I know. I'm blind, not deaf, remember?"
Konan started to walk away, at a loss of what to do and say from here on out, she chose once again to simply run away from the things that were bugging her.
"Yes un, I remember. Where are you going?"
"To be around the children. They're the only ones who don't give me a headache anymore," Konan said, the airiness quickly returned to her voice and she caught a fragment of his thoughts, "sure, perform your heart out. It's not like I can really stop you."
Well she could, but this issue simply wasn't worth hurting someone she cared about.
Click, click, click.
Click, click, click.
Click, click, click.
That was the sound it seemed to make as Konan cut up – what was that, green beans? Why would she be cutting up green beans? – Well, some sort of green vegetable, for the kids dinner.
Her knife hit the board angrily each time harder than the last and yet the sound was still nothing more than a simple procession of, Click, click, click.
She thought maybe if it happened tonight, if not when, then that would be the ultimate proof. Deidara was a person and not an act of nature or god. He was affected by what had happened, and so his future had also been affected. If he tore his stitches, then that would prove it. everything she had predicted before was going to happen, it was all still true somehow, even though the details were slipping from her mind, it was true if Deidara was hurt tonight.
But if it wasn't true… that meant she could tell somebody right? Or she could tell somebody now and reason that she believed the future to have been changed. Yeah, that's what she could do. If she told somebody, say… Sasori, then he'd be able to stop this thing in its tracks.
But then, did Deidara getting hurt tonight have anything to do with his death a few days later?
It was a simple run-in with a desperate father, wasn't it? There had been no mentions of his earlier accident. But then what was he even doing in Konaha anyway? He was supposed to be staying in the camp from now on.
No, no this was all a coincidence, nothing more. Nothing bad was going to happen. Only good things, Deidara was right, only good things from now on.
It hurt too much to try and understand the way things worked or to try and work out how the world was going to end up, when she had no clue what was going to happen in a few seconds. It hurt both her mind and her heart.
"You okay?" Sasori had come to help, as if she needed it. She'd gotten by fine without him before and could continue to do so now!
"I'm fine," she said shortly, "but do me and favor and tie that roommate of yours up or something."
Wait, that wouldn't work!
"I will be," Sasori confirmed, already with a knife in his hand and mimicking Konan's actions, "and we'll be hanging him above a net to watch him fall. He told me about what happened, are you sure you're alright?"
Her mind screamed tell him, tell him, tell him! But instead she simply said, "It's nothing you should concern yourself with."
"That sounds like I should be concerned. You know, it's okay to open up sometimes. After all, we're only human," Sasori said, "well, mostly, anyway."
Konan tapped her nose aggressively, "a magician never reveals his secrets."
"The brat said the same thing to me on his first night here," Sasori said absently. "I wanted to tell him he wasn't a magician but I felt like he wouldn't listen."
"I know, I heard it all."
"Then you know you're not a magician either?"
"Of course, I'm just an unlucky fool who should've gone crazy and jumped off of a bridge a long time ago."
"Well, what's stopping you now? I think you've already got the crazy part down and there's a very large bridge between here and Konaha," Sasori mentioned, helpfully of course.
"No, I could be far worse off than this," Konan said, placing her knife down and strolling over towards the fridge, "and if what happens this Friday doesn't turn me insane, I think it's safe to say that nothing will."
"This Friday?" Sasori questioned, "What's so special about this Friday? I thought you couldn't see the future anymore, Konan, what's going to happen?"
A brief image flitted through Konan's mind, a sort of separate universe where she was a witch in a village and everybody came to her for advice. Surely that reality must be a lot better than this one. But opening her eyes, she still found herself at the circus, being stared at by curious brown eyes, waiting for an answer. It was something she could never give.
"I'm sorry Sasori," she said, "but I can't tell you. I don't want to further disrupt the future. If something terrible has to happen to somebody I love, then I have no choice but to let it be."
That night was perhaps one of the worse nights of Konan's life – so far, that is, and if you disregard all of the other bad things that had ever happened – she found herself now, even unable to see the futures lurking behind members of the crowd and even further than that, the thoughts of people close to her were beginning to be drowned out and lost.
But that wasn't the worst thing that happened, though it was a quite close second.
Deidara performed that night; their fourth night in Konaha, right on schedule.
They hung him up above a net; it was the same act he'd done on Sasori's first night, though the restraints used on him this time around were a lot stronger; Sasori wasn't taking any chances this time around.
"If we sit really still and think really hard, it's like time hasn't moved at all," she murmured, creeping up on Sasori who was watching from the sidelines nervously. "This is your first night here, we're still in Suna, I still have my sight, and everything will be fine."
"And then you open your eyes," Sasori replied, playing along, "and it's all been a dream, and you've travelled halfway across the world and made friends you never thought you'd have. You're no longer in Suna, conditions are worsening and there's a possibility everything's about to go south."
"I never noticed what a pessimist you were," Konan said.
They stared up, watching Deidara do his thing. He was dressed in white today, at Konan's request, so she would know immediately if he'd gotten hurt.
He was so good at what he did, that if you blinked, you would've missed the small flick of the wrist movement that caused him to fall, chains all still attached and secured properly. And you would've missed the small jerk, that caused the strait jacket he wore, to peel right off as he fell, before he landed, somehow upright, on the net below.
The crowd reacted as they always did; with rapid applause, a few screams and loud, loud cheering. Deidara soaked it all up, still blindfolded and although unable to stand fully, he bowed in appreciation of the audience's reaction. This was the first time in a year he'd gotten to feel Konaha's particular brand of adoration.
He knew something wasn't right and could feel the burning, wet feeling on his side, as well as the tearing feeling in the same place. He knew something wasn't right. He must've torn his stitches. Damn, they probably wouldn't let him perform again for another month after this!
Up above, watching in the crowd, Konan sighed. It seemed the old future, the terrible future she'd seen before, was somehow still on track.
Quick question, serious, serious question. do i write with an accent? i feel like i write with an accent