i feel like i haven't written in ages. i have all this time and no ideas.
honestly, i was going to give up on writing forever, but then the plot bunnies came to me in themiddle of last night and couldn't be ignored.
anyway, im wrapping this story up in a few chapters. happy new years!
It was around one in the afternoon when Deidara left the camp, not sparing the time to say a word to anybody or to tell them where he was going, he simply went off to follow that feeling in the pit of his stomach. It wasn't something he could control, and he knew that there was no point in trying. Konan had already explained to him a million times before that Fate was probably the most powerful force existing in this world, and that there was no point in trying to fight it.
It was a power that even she had never tried to disobey.
Pein and Konan had come back to the camp roughly two hours prior to him leaving, and he wondered briefly if Konan was able to hear his thoughts or see something dark within his future, but didn't want to say anything because she was afraid. Or maybe she couldn't hear because she was too busy thinking and worrying about Itachi.
Yeah, it felt nicer to think like that, rather than convincing himself that there was something so horrible in his immediate future that Konan chose simply to ignore him.
But regardless of all of that, he left the camp. It would take about an hour to get into Konaha, but he didn't mind; he enjoyed long walks because they were a good way to clear his mind.
Sasori wouldn't wake for another half an hour, which would give him plenty of time to get away. Deidara didn't feel guilty in the slightest for what he was doing, though, because he believed deep down that he'd be fine.
Back at the camp, Konan was able to get a clear read on Deidara's thoughts and a troubled look crossed her face and overtook her eyes. She was about to say something, in an attempt to stop the subject from coming up, before Pein stopped her.
"Deidara's leaving," he said, "you're not going to do anything about it?"
"I tried," she said simply, regaining her usual air of indifference, "but it's too close now. His end is coming in less than four hours. There isn't any time to stop him now."
"You don't really believe that, do you?"
"Of course I don't," Konan told him bitterly, "but you saw what happened when I tried to save Itachi's life. It's just not going to happen, okay? I'm not meant to change the future; I'm supposed to keep it in line!"
The problem with Itachi was his blood type; it was extremely rare and despite the abundance of spare parts in Konaha, there was nothing that would help him.
It was fate, warning her off. Because Itachi had to die and now, so did Deidara.
It was a shame that the two weren't the same blood type or it would be possible to save at least one of them.
"But it doesn't always go to plan, does it?" Pein asked, "You've seen the future change before, haven't you?"
"That was different, you're different. You're the only person I know who has ever been able to beat the system!" Konan sighed heavily and said, "Can't we just go back? Can't we just abandon ship and run off back to Ame, isn't there any way we can forget that this ever happened?"
"You don't really want that, to run away from this pain. It'll still hurt even if you're not here to see it, but you'll get through it. You have before."
Conversation died out quickly after that as the atmosphere grew too heavy for even far off, wishful thoughts to form.
Sasori woke up for the first time at one-thirty, to an empty bed. But, thinking nothing of it, he allowed himself to drift off back to sleep, only to get up fifteen minutes later in a panic, realizing that he'd lost Deidara.
After a few moments thought, Sasori resolved not to destroy his trailer while searching for Deidara, and simply went around the camp looking for him. He decided it was better to look through the camp first, before jumping to conclusions and running into town.
However, as it became more and more obvious that Deidara was not in the camp grounds, he grew more and more apprehensive. Was this what Konan had been worried about? Was this why he'd been tasked with watching the annoyingly energetic blonde? Was this part of Friday's catastrophe?
Of course the more important question flared in his mind; was he about to lose Deidara?
Konan's words flashed through his mind; "if something terrible has to happen to somebody I love…"
Things weren't looking good.
From where he was standing, it looked as though his entire journey with the Akatsuki had been one giant succession of half told secrets and unavoidable tragic events. It was as though he'd walked into a halfway complete tragedy novel where the main character dies at the end.
The children hadn't seen Deidara since the night before, neither had the remaining members of Akatsuki. He was about to go into town – even if he didn't know his way around and even if he would only get lost there – when he ran into Konan.
"Hey, going somewhere?" Konan asked, in a voice that clearly said she knew. And she'd known all along, that there was a chance maybe it would turn out like this. "You're wrong. I didn't know things would become this way, if I did, I never would've let Pein take you in."
Konan thought idly while being stared at by disbelieving eyes, that any normal person would be frightened by the aura surrounding Sasori, but having lived with the Akatsuki all these years, it didn't even faze her.
"Then why did you tell me?" Sasori asked finally, "why did you say anything? Why did you get me involved?"
Konan sighed, "I needed to try something," she said, "you were the only one available to watch him for me and look how well that turned out."
"I don't mean today, or yesterday or the day before. I don't mean here and now. Why did you even speak to me on my first day here, why couldn't you have let me be?"
"What are you talking about?" Konan asked, though she found her words entirely unnecessary as the answer dawned on her only moments later. Up until right then, she had forgotten ever telling Sasori anything.
"My first night here, you told me something bad was going to happen, you said Deidara would get hurt. I don't know what you were trying to accomplish by telling me that but I hope you're happy with the outcome!"
Sasori had spent a lot of time dwelling on that exact moment; each time something bad happened to Deidara, he kept wondering if that was what Konan had been talking about. But he was suddenly very sure that she'd been talking about this moment, coming up in the scarily near future.
Konan froze for a moment a thousand different thoughts going through her mind at once.
Up until that night, everything had been perfect and there had been no problems at all with her vision. Right up until she'd decided to try something, anything to keep Deidara alive. And who better to trust his life with, than his new roommate? A stranger, a fresh mind, somebody who was going to live a long, long time. She remembered now, seeing Sasori's future, a happy life ahead of him after finding acceptance and peace in the Akatsuki. But that had all been lost and changed the moment she'd gotten too desperate to worry about consequences.
Konan had been trying for the longest time to figure out why the world was punishing her and trying to take away her vision. She'd forgotten ever doing anything wrong but now she knew. Having spilled the beans in an effort to save Deidara's life, she'd effectively ruined everything.
"Is that all?" Konan asked distantly.
"What?" Sasori said disbelievingly, "no that's not it –"
Konan ignored him, having figured things out, she knew what she was going to do, "Don't go into town. Nobody else is allowed to leave the camp, got it?" she said sternly.
"I can't just sit here and wait!"
"Well you're going to have to. You need to trust that everything happens for a reason."
Konan didn't wait for a reply; she had far too much to do and only a small window of time to do it in.
Deidara heard and ignored the whispers that followed everywhere he went, because usually whispers followed him. They followed his ring, his hands, his cloak, and occasionally whispers followed the slightly – only slightl y – feminine way he looked.
But he didn't care about any of that and he hadn't for a long time. Being a part of the Akatsuki granted a sort of confidence previously only thought to be present, in rich, happy people. And though Deidara was neither rich, nor consistently happy, he found himself going along with an air of confidence.
He wondered for a moment if it was weird, that the biggest building – second only to the parliament building – in Konaha, was the hospital.
In Iwa, the hospital was the size of a clinic and there were hardly any doctors or space for patients. In Iwa if you were injured, you'd be best to find treatment elsewhere.
The hospital was where his gut was leading him. Maybe fate just wanted to give him a few final moments with Itachi before the inevitable tragedy. It was both a nice and terrible thought.
The receptionist recognized him instantly – or his cloak at least – and although she seemed a little annoyed about it, she led him to an area in the back where Itachi was just barely awake, and Kisame was snoring away, half on the floor.
"You look awful," Itachi said, attempting to cut through the tense atmosphere and get rid of the look currently monopolizing Deidara's face. He shouldn't be sad, it didn't suit him, he looked better with an arrogant smirk that said he knew a lot more than he actually did.
"You're not looking too good yourself, un," Deidara whispered.
Even though he said the words, Deidara had grown so accustomed to blocking out harmful things; sights, sounds, feelings, that he didn't even see Itachi the way he was right now. In his mind, Itachi looked fine, because it was easier that way.
"Did Konan send you here? She said no one would be coming for a few more days, if I lasted that long."
"No un, she didn't. And don't be so negative! There's still a chance for a miraculous recovery, isn't there?"
The flat look Itachi sent back was lost on the blonde, who was too busy facing away and admiring the nice room. He conveniently allowed himself to forget what a hospice room was, and credited the quality of the room to Itachi's family.
"At some point, we've got to stop living in denial, Deidara."
"Nuh-uh, un!"
"What are you going to do at my funeral, when there's no way to possibly deny what's happened?"
In his mind, where it was safe to speak and to acknowledge things and to show what he was really feeling, Deidara turned around and yelled, "How can you talk about such things so casually! Don't you have any hope, un? Don't you care how this makes the rest of us feel?"
But out loud, he said, "I won't be going, un. I'll be at home, talking to you, whether you're there to talk back or not."
Itachi offered up a dry laugh, despite the way it made his throat burn. "And you plan to just do that forever?"
Blue eyes bore desperately into weak obsidian pools, "you could be forever, un!"
A smirk played at the edges of Itachi's mouth, "I always thought you preferred the fleeting, over the everlasting?"
"There's nothing artistic about you. You're my friend un, not something I can blow up without feeling anything."
"Let's talk about something else, Deidara. I don't know how much time left before Konan tracks you down, and I'd rather be happy in these last few moments," Itachi paused here, breaking out in a fit of coughs, "than spend the rest of my life, arguing about the inevitability of my death."
"Okay un, what would you like to talk about?"
"I have to do this."
Konan was rifling through things in Pein's office, looking for something that wanted to be particularly stubborn today and stay hidden. God, if she had her powers, this wouldn't be an issue.
"I know."
Pein sat passively at his desk, looking over maps of the world and figuring out a way he could use the Akatsuki to take both Konaha and Kiri in the same stretch of time. Or maybe it would be better to make a deal with the Kiri government, get them on their side only to betray them later.
"Don't try to stop me."
Konan had found what she was looking for; a gun. It was one of the only guns they actually kept on the grounds, since guns were dangerous and not a thing to be kept around children. Especially disobedient little monsters like the ones that inhabited the circus.
"I won't."
But Kiri was pretty cut off from the rest of the world, so they could probably take over Konaha before anyone realized it, force the citizens into an army and take over the world from both directions. Pein wondered sometimes if constantly plotting to take over the world, made him insane. But then he reasoned that if he were ever sane to begin with, he wouldn't keep the kind of company that he did.
"Good, because this is something that I need to do."
"I know, I knew that from the start. I just hope you know what you're getting yourself into."
Konan nodded, though she knew the other wasn't looking. "There's no going back from here, I know. If I do this, I'll lose my sight forever."
"Exactly. If you're prepared to take that risk, then I won't stop you."
There was a question in his words, that he didn't want to ask and Konan didn't want to answer. Yet it was true, this small, maybe unlikely chance at changing fate, was worth losing everything.
If anybody has an nkling where this is going, i'd be interested to hear some theories.