Hey everyone! Updates are a bit slow to come, I'm sorry for that, but I hardly get to write nowadays. I have tons and tons of things to do at the moment, exams, work and other stuff that practically screams for my attention. Well, just don't be mad if updating becomes slightly irregular, I'm really doing my best here.
Then another matter concerning the story: I know that a lot of you have asked for a reunion of Dick and Easy. Just be patient for a little longer, there is definitely something in that direction coming up in the next chapter. I really hope this story isn't getting too slow, I know I'm taking my time to develop things. But I can promise you there will soon be more action, so just bear with me, alright?
A very heartfelt thanks to my wonderful reviewers, you guys really help me keep my muse awake and scribbling madly... :-) It's so great to see people out there actually reading the story and caring about where this is going, thanks so much for that!
Beth-rodrigues.77 (Thank you so much for your wonderful review! So glad to see you love Dick and Lizzie and this romantic little thingy they already have going on... Yeah, they are really cut out for each other. Love to hear that you like Lizzie's character and yeah, Shames is definitely a bastard... But hey, the story needs some bad guy, too. :-))), ScarletLeon (Sooo happy to have made you gush! :-))) I totally grinned when I read your review, thanks for that. :-)))), ChocAndSnow19 (Thanks for that lovely review! Yeah, Shames, he probably won't be very high on the most-likeable-character list, I guess... So cool you liked Dick and Lizzie's interaction, you're absolutely right, they're building their trust and friendship. Hehe, glad you liked her catching him, after all it doesn't have to be the other way round all the time with the man catching the woman... ;-))) Have a lovely day, too! :-)), indifferentshell (Hey, welcome back and thanks a lot for that lovely review! I can understand that life can get a bit crazy, I hope it's nothing too serious and that everything will calm down for you soon. However, selfish little me was still very delighted to see your review in my mailbox. :-))) I was a bit afraid you had lost interest in the story, now I'm very happy to see you back. I'm so happy you liked the way Dick and Lizzie's relationship progressed, they are slowly getting to know each other. Glad you were interested in Lizzie's background, I tried to keep everything as plausible as possible, but at the same time interesting. Hope I succeeded. ;-) Yeah, poor Easy... I wouldn't want to change place with them. ;-))) But they'll be fine, I promise. :-)) Would really love to hear more from you soon!)
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
When Lizzie got back to the ward on Monday morning, the sun was shining in a deep blue November sky. After all these dreary days it felt so good to feel some weak sun rays on her skin again, though hardly warming her against the cold wind that was blowing, but cheering her up nonetheless.
She had actually looked forward to working again, unsuccessfully trying to tell herself that it had nothing to do with seeing Dick again. Thoughts of him had accompanied her over the whole weekend and she had found herself mulling over the new things she had learned from her encounter with his men. She was very sure that she would not tell him about meeting his sergeants and she would also keep quiet about facing his rather sorry excuse for a replacement. After all, Dick did not look like the type to appreciate her snooping around in his life.
When she came into the ward, her gaze instantly went to Dick's bed. He was sitting on the edge of the mattress, Jean kneeling in front of him and tying his shoelaces for him, while Greta stood beside the both of them. As Lizzie came closer, she saw Dick lifting his head, his face lighting up at the sight of her and giving her a brilliant smile. It was the kind of smile that could knock a girl on her ear, and she found herself swallowing heavily. Damn, he really looked good today and yeah, she had missed him.
"Good morning", Dick greeted her, gingerly donning a jacket over his PT gear. "How was your weekend?"
"Good, very good", she answered, watching Jean finish tying his shoelaces, then hesitantly giving him a hand up. "And you're ready for an excursion beyond this familiar halls, I guess?"
"I was told it's beautiful weather outside for once", he answered, accepting Jean's help to stand, then gave Greta a nod. "Dr. Coombs thought that some fresh air would do me good."
"Lizzie", Greta addressed her, giving her a small smile, "would you mind accompanying Lieutenant Winters for a short walk? I need Jean for another job."
The look of surprise on Jean's face told Lizzie everything she needed to know about her scheming friend, but she accepted the offer nonetheless.
"Sure", Lizzie answered, giving Dick a smile. "If you don't mind me accompanying you?"
"No, not at all", he answered happily, slowly starting to walk in the direction of the exit. Lizzie noticed that his movements had greatly improved in the last two days she had not seen him. He could clearly walk unaided now and his steps were much steadier than before. There was still a limp to his gait and he was still hunched over slightly, but he was definitely better.
Lizzie took the lead to hold the door open for him that led outside.
"It really should be the other way around, you know", he quipped, raising one eyebrow while shuffling past her. "Me holding the door open for you."
Smiling and shaking her head to herself, she marveled that men like him still existed. Where did the army find this guy? He really was that old-fashioned gentleman film industry liked so much to show in the movies, materializing in a red headed, long-legged paratrooper officer. Who would have guessed that? And she had not even been able to appreciate it at first glance, perceiving his politeness and modesty as arrogance.
"Maybe I'll let you help me into my coat later, just to still your thirst for gallantry", she answered him, tongue-in-cheek. The smile she received for that warmed her heart and her face. It had taken a few days to coax any smile onto his face, but now that it was there, it hardly wanted to leave again. It suited him, giving him a slightly boyish look.
"Unbelievable, sunshine in England", he commented wryly when he stepped out of the door, blinking lazily in the bright light of day and breathing in the fresh air. "And here I thought Dr. Coombs was only trying to lure me outside."
It seemed like the sun was setting his hair on fire, shining such a brilliant red that it almost hurt her eyes. Lizzie found herself mesmerized by the intensive color. She never would have guessed that she would some day feel attracted to a redhead. It had definitely been ranging at the bottom of favorite hair colors, since all the redheads she knew from earlier on were either nerds or perverts. But there was no doubt he was a handsome man, red hair or not.
"Yeah", she answered dreamily, slightly off-tracked, then pulled herself together when he shot her a questioning look. "Well, the weather is unusually good."
He nodded then gazed to a field some eight hundred feet away where some soldiers were training for a maneuver. It was too far away to tell who it was, but she noticed him watching intently, instinctively drawn in this direction.
"Are you missing your men?", she asked him softly, glancing at him from the side, while they slowly walked on a pebble stone street that led over the base.
"Yeah, I do", he admitted, still focused on the group of soldiers, then tore his gaze away to look at her earnestly. "But it's difficult to explain. Some people have this romantic notion of soldiers training together automatically becoming best friends, but it's much more complicated. As a leader, you need to keep everything personal at arm's length, otherwise it would be impossible to even think about sending these men to war. Distance to them is vital."
She was surprised at his rather detached view on his men, after all the good she had heard about him from all sides. However, it would explain why his sergeants hardly knew anything about him. It still confused her, because he did not strike her as the uncaring type.
As if he had read her mind, he added quietly with a shrug of his shoulders, "They still grow on you, you know. They're human beings, all of them having plans about the future and some of them I like so much that they might have become close friends, if met under different circumstances. It's more difficult with others, but I need to treat them all the same. The ultimate goal is far more important than my personal feelings."
"You had me a bit worried there", she admitted with a smile, thinking she might after all understand him. "But I think I know what you mean. So you never go out on a beer with them?"
"No", he answered, a half-suppressed smile on his lips as if she only knew half of it. "Some officers do, there aren't any rules against it. But let's look at it this way: there is this one soldier you really like and with whom you spend most of your weekends for months. Let's say he's hit in the throat in battle, bleeding out in front of you, and your CO decides there's no time to help him because it might endanger the whole company. How would you react in such a situation? Personally, it would tear me apart, there's no way I could go on after that. But everyone else in the company or platoon is relying on me to make the right decision, there's no time to mourn or even think about personal loss in the middle of battle."
She never had thought of it this way, as a way of self-protection. If she was honest, she had always thought it ridiculous how most of the officers tried to separate themselves from the men, as if they were something better. Maybe there was a logic to that, after all.
"So the point of it is to somehow avoid any emotional attachment to your men?", she asked on, knowing that her question was slightly unfair since she started to understand his point quite well. However, she was still curious about his answer.
"You're giving me a run for my money here", he answered with a sigh and a crooked smile. "What is this, 'Question the officer'?"
Lizzie realized with satisfaction that she had already started to rub off on him, his quips were definitely getting better, which made her chuckle to herself.
"Yeah, something like that", she answered with a grin.
"Alright", Dick replied, giving her a long look and a small shake of his head. "Emotional attachment is crucial for any military unit, but there's a difference between the attachment to the company and the attachment to particular individuals. I'm very much attached to Easy company, so much that there isn't anything more important in my life at the moment. But I try not to get too attached to the single soldiers. They are my responsibility, after all. Does that make sense?"
"Yeah, it does", she replied. "Some people might still think of you as a cold-hearted bastard, but I definitely get your reasoning. I'm actually quite happy I'm not in your shoes, I'm not sure I could deal with it."
"Don't get me wrong", he immediately stated, face all serious, "I'm not complaining. This is the most intense experience of my life and it never felt more right to be where I am now. And what I told you now is just the theory of how the relationship between commanding officers and soldiers should be established. Then again, it's much more complicated. In some way, these men are very close to me... closer even than brothers..."
He trailed off, the searching for words making him crease his forehead. Finally, he shook his head, giving up.
"I can't explain", he just said, looking a bit irked.
"It's fine, I think I understand", she softly replied, realizing that this matter meant a lot to him and seeing at the same time that he really tried to let her in on what he felt.
"Yeah?", he asked, a wry grin starting to tug at his lips. "I think I'm just rambling on."
"No problem", she answered with a smile. "I'm used to it. You were already rambling on when I first saw you."
"Thanks very much", he replied, pursing his lips, but his eyes were twinkling good-naturedly.
They were walking for a while in silence. Lizzie sneaked from time to time a glance at him and saw that he was deeply immersed in thinking, eyes bored in the ground in front of him. Was he still thinking of his men? Everyone had told her so far how dedicated he was, but they were probably still understating things. Almost every time she had come to his bed in the ward, he was doing some paper stuff. And if not, he was brooding. Like now.
"There's a pond behind the hospital", she told him, trying to get him to take off his mind of things that had placed a persistent frown on his face. "It's lovely there, only place where you're really alone around here. Sometimes you even see ducks. There's one lucky male duck with two lady ducks, you should see..."
"Dick!", a voice shouted, and when Lizzie looked around she noticed a jeep coming their way on the pebbled street. When they were closer, she could see Lieutenant Nixon behind the wheel and another man beside him in the passenger seat. The car stopped beside them and both men hopped out.
"Good to see you!", the unfamiliar man greeted Dick exuberantly, giving him a tight hug that looked quite funny because of their height difference, the other man being rather short. "I'm only gone for two weeks and you already got yourself in hospital. You couldn't even wait for war!"
Lizzie instantly took a liking to him. He had curly hair and a gapped smile that spoke of mischief. This one definitely was a charmer, she was sure of it.
"Harry", Dick replied slowly, disentangling himself from his friend's hug, but at the same time giving him a relaxed smile. "Good to see you, too. How was advanced training in Bristol?"
"Bored me to tears", the one called Harry answered with a comic grimace. "Good thing Easy is a bit short of experienced officers, this was a welcome excuse to come back earlier."
"Yeah, such luck", Dick replied in a drawn out voice, giving Harry a wry look.
"Aw, come on, I've heard everything from Nix here. Shames can't be that bad", Harry put in, looking at Nixon who desolately shook his head.
"He hasn't met him yet", Nixon sighed to Dick, putting on a show of pitying the optimistic young greenhorn.
"You're exaggerating", Harry decided, looking unsure from Nixon to Dick and back again. Finally his gaze settled on Lizzie, as if he had not noticed her before. "Hello there. Where are my manners? I didn't even introduce myself. I'm Harry Welsh, Second Lieutenant in Easy Company. And who are you?"
Nixon beat her to answering, beginning with a smirk, "A short warning first, Harry, she talks back. Always. Second, she is..."
"Nix", Dick interrupted his friend with a level voice, looking at him sternly.
Lizzie found herself smiling at Dick's reaction in her favor. Was he getting protective of her? As if Lieutenant Casanova could beat her in a verbal sparring match. However, if she was completely honest, she was maybe starting to enjoy the constant banter with Nixon, it had become sort of a ritual for them. If she had ever had an older brother, he surely would have behaved exactly like Nixon.
"I'm Elisabeth Weiss, Second Lieutenant in the ANC", she decided to take matters in her own hand and stretched out a hand for Welsh to shake. Out of the corner of her eyes she noticed Dick raising a single eyebrow and she realized that he had probably not known her full name until now. "Pleased to meet you, Lieutenant Welsh."
"Aw, come on, no formalities", he answered with a wink and a motion of his hand. "Just Harry."
"Okay", she answered with a smile, "then please just call me Lizzie."
"My, my", Nixon drawled in a voice of mock-surprise. "Are you getting civil here, Florence? You never offered your first name to me."
"That's because you haven't earned yourself the right yet, lieutenant", Lizzie answered right away, eyebrows raised but secretly enjoying herself. "Maybe you shouldn't have skipped all the good-manners courses in officer school."
Harry laughed out loud and she could see Dick biting back a smile at his friend's expense.
"He's a rich kid", Harry supplied, still grinning widely at Lizzie, "they don't realize that not everything can be bought with money."
Why did that information not surprise her? There had always been an air of bigmouthed self-confidence to Nixon that made much more sense now that she knew he came from a wealthy family.
"Well, it bought me an officer's rank alright", Nix stated with a lazy grin, but at the same time his dark eyes suddenly looked a bit vulnerable. Oh, there was a conscience somewhere in him and that show of arrogance could not fully mask some deep set insecurities. It looked like rich kid had some issues, too.
"Don't be silly, Lew", Dick answered in his friend's favor, giving him a fond smile. "They would never have taken you just because of your family's influence. You're a fine officer, you know that, and you fully deserve your commission."
Lizzie noticed the tiny nod the two friends exchanged, before the arrogant grin was back on Nixon's face.
"Always the idealist, our Dick", he drawled, making Dick good-naturedly shake his head to himself.
But Lizzie had seen enough to call everything a well-rehearsed play. The deep friendship between Dick and Nixon was so obvious, they really depended on each other. Dick was the steady support, the moderating influence that kept everything together. Even without seeing him with his men, she could already tell from this talk with his fellow officers that he was gifted with some really precious leadership skills. And Nixon was the one loosening up things, he seemed to be one of the few people that succeeded in the task of making Dick smile.
"So, you're working as a nurse?", Harry asked her, ignoring the banter between Dick and Nixon, probably used to it.
"Yes, it's a very rewarding experience", she explained, then added with a twinkle to Dick, "At least most of the times."
Harry picked up on that, noticing Dick shuffle his feet uneasily.
"Is he being difficult?", Harry asked her with that gapped smile of his.
"You have no idea", she just responded with a sigh, hoping Dick would understand her good-natured teasing.
"I'm not difficult, just determined to get back to duty quickly", Dick replied with raised eyebrows and a frown, but Lizzie knew him well enough by now to notice the small tug upwards on his lips, "And talking of difficult people, you would need to know that Harry isn't exactly all innocence either, no matter what his fluffy curls or sweet-talking tongue might tell you."
This earned him a rather pointed look from Harry, but Dick returned it totally impassively. Now Lizzie had to smile at all of them.
"Alright, alright, I get it", she finally said, looking at all three officers. "Isn't it exhausting to uphold this picture of respectability in front of your men?"
"Not for poster boy here", Nixon quipped with a smile, slapping Dick on the back. Lizzie had to chuckle at the apologetic look Dick sent her.
"So", Harry asked after a short pause, looking at Dick, "how's life without an appendix?"
"Getting better daily", Dick replied, suddenly smiling at Lizzie. "They're really good in the military hospital, they're helping me recover quickly."
"They, huh?", Harry answered meaningfully and looking at Lizzie with new eyes.
"Yeah, they", Dick confirmed, not letting himself be goaded by his friend. Although Lizzie was quite glad that he valued their work after all, she felt a slight twinge of disappointment that he had not singled her out. But then again, why should he? They were on friendly terms by now, this had to be enough for her.
Nixon looked at his watch, then motioned with his head for Harry to get back into the car, "We have to go, Sink won't be waiting."
"Yeah", Harry acknowledged, giving Dick a last pat on the back and Lizzie a grin before getting back in the car. "We'll see you around."
Dick watched them drive away, then gave Lizzie a wry look.
"They can be quite a handful sometimes", he told her as if to apologize for his friends' behavior. "But they're good and loyal men."
"I can see that", Lizzie replied with a nod. "I like them, you know. Even Lieutenant Nixon, when he's not flaunting the arrogant playboy."
Dick chuckled at that.
"Don't tell him I said this", he said smilingly, "but he's a bit put out it doesn't work with you. You woke his competitive streak, you know."
This made her laugh and shake her head.
"It won't ever work with me."
As they slowly walked on, white clouds were flitting over the blue sky, hurrying to mask the sun again. When Lizzie looked up, she saw one particular dark cloud coming their way. The cool wind had picked up force and she could see Dick snuggling his arms closely to his body in an attempt to stave off the chill.
"Let's go back", she suggested, receiving a nod from him.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
The next few days passed quite quickly, Dick surprisingly noticed.
Recovery was easier now that he was allowed out of bed on his own, it gave him back some much desired independence. The infection had receded almost completely, the twinges of pain he felt every now and then came more from the long surgery wound than from inflamed tissue by now. Even eating became less trying and he was allowed some solid food again, which was good, because he was fed up with eating chicken soup every day. He had received another visit from Lipton, telling him that things had got slightly better since Harry was back with Easy, which had relieved Dick endlessly.
All of these positive developments could not veil the real reason for his good mood as of late. Lizzie was with him every day for several hours. It had become sort of a ritual for her to stay with him even after her shift had ended, keeping him company in the evenings. These evenings were the time Dick had increasingly started to look forward to. No more doctors or visitors, it was just him and Lizzie. Most of the time they spent just talking, although he had to suffer through some more horror stories as well. But it did not matter, she was so happy when she could read these stories to him that he made an effort to find something good in them for himself.
However, his stay in hospital was slowly coming to an end, it had almost been three weeks since his surgery. His discharge had been settled for tomorrow and Dick was feeling very glad to be finally released, but at the same time it made him also slightly sad. These light hours with Lizzie were definitely coming to an end. Of course he had to come back for check-ups for several weeks and they had already talked about staying in contact, but this would not be the same. As soon as the army had him back, his time would be limited.
Therefore Dick found it quite strange that Lizzie had not shown up yet today. Normally she had visited him by noon, but it was late afternoon now. He was quite sure she would have told him if it had been her day off, since she knew he would be discharged tomorrow. By now he had almost everything ready for his release. He had spent the whole afternoon revising the paperwork he had done in the last few days, and everything was now neatly stacked and sorted on his nightstand.
It was Jean who brought him a light meal in the evening, making him even more suspicious of Lizzies's absence. Dr. Coombs, the husband, had been the one taking care of him today, which had been the reason he had decided against asking about Lizzie. If it had been his wife, then Dick probably would not have been able to hold himself back from asking about her.
"Jean?", he asked the young nurse when she set the food down on his nightstand, "Do you know anything about the whereabouts of Lizzie? She hasn't showed up yet today."
"I don't know, sir", she replied softly, even after all these weeks refusing to call him by his first name. "She didn't come to work today."
"Was she in your room?", he worriedly asked on, knowing that the two of them shared accommodation.
"She was there yesterday evening, but she left before I got up this morning", Jean replied hesitantly, as always evading his gaze shyly. "But that's normal, she's always up earlier than me, sir."
"So she never got here?", he inquired. This was getting stranger by the minute.
"I'm not sure... I'm sorry, sir", she answered with big eyes.
"It's fine", he reassured her. "It's not your fault after all."
Jean left him and Dick ate alone in a brooding silence. Where could she be? And what had happened? It was not like someone just went missing on a military base. Since he did not feel hungry, he shoved the half finished dish away from him and got up. If she did not come for him, then he had to start looking for her. Maybe her friend the doctor knew something about Lizzie's whereabouts. Dick knew the doctor had some kind of office on the first floor of the hospital, she had heard Lizzie talking about the ugliness of that room just a day prior.
Walking through the ward, Dick noticed the newly arrived patients, one of them a young man that seemed faintly familiar, probably a soldier from one of the other Airborne companies. He gave him a nod, but did not stop to talk with him but walked on. To reach the first floor, Dick had to step outside and take the stairs at the facade of the building. Climbing the stairs, he felt his side acting up at the pull of muscles and he had to be content to take one step at a time. He reached the first floor and slowly walked down the corridor. At least the different offices and storage rooms were marked on the doors.
At last he reached an office that had "Dr. Coombs" written on it. He hoped that it belonged to Greta Coombs, knocked and entered before being called in. The sight that greeted him had him stop dead in his tracks. Lizzie was there, enveloped in a tight hug by Dr. Coombs, the wife. Lizzie looked up like a deer caught in the headlights and Dick realized at once that she had been crying. Her eyes were all red and puffy, her face pale and her hair a mess. Before he could say anything, Lizzie had wordlessly torn herself from her friend's embrace and was rushing past him. First he just watched her leave, too stunned to move, then he went after her, following more an instinct than a rational thought.
"Lieutenant Winters, just let her go", Dr. Coombs called after him, but he ignored her.
Lizzie was pounding down the stairs in front of him, reaching the ground and disappearing behind the barracks.
"Lizzie!", he shouted after her, but he was not even sure she could hear him anymore.
She had rushed down the steps in the span of a moment, but it took him much longer. He gritted his teeth against the pull of stitches in his side and he had to tell himself to be reasonable and slow down. After what seemed like ages, he reached the bottom and went the same way around the barracks as she had taken before.
However, when he turned around the corner, there was no sign of her. Muttering to himself, Dick came to a halt, a hand pressed firmly against his by now throbbing side. There was no chance he could keep up with her, if she wanted to run away from him, then he could do nothing to stop her.
Just before he wanted to give up and return to the ward, he paused. But... what if she had not run all that far? Only a few days ago she had told him about the pond behind the hospital, which she had called the only place to be alone on the base. He decided to check there before returning to the hospital.
Slowly walking around the barracks, the pond came into view. It was not exactly a beautiful thing with trees around it like in some English garden. Instead it was rather plain, completely round, obviously created artificially and most probably serving as a water supply in case of a fire. There were two or three meager bushes on one side of the pond that seemed to be there to make the place more charming, but in Dick's opinion it only completed the picture of sadness. Behind one of these bushes he could make out blue cloth.
Coming closer he finally saw Lizzie, sitting at the edge of the pond and chucking stones in the water from time to time. Her face was wet, but she was not crying anymore, instead her brows were drawn together in a mask of anger.
"Hey", Dick called out to her, not wanting to scare her by his approach.
She snapped her head up, scowling at him.
"Go away, Dick", she ground out, chucking another stone in the pond, making the ducks in it scuttle to the other side of the water. "Maybe I haven't been clear enough before: I want to be alone."
"Could you at least tell me what this is all about?", he asked her gently, coming to a halt a few paces away from her. She had another stone in her hand and he was a bit afraid she would throw it at him if he came any closer, judging from the fierce look on her face.
"I'm not one of your soldiers, you don't need to feel responsible for me", she answered darkly, staring at the ground in front of her feet.
"I know, but I thought we were friends", he replied, seeing her sniffling and wiping at her face. She was very upset, he could tell, but it was quite hard to say if she was angry or sad. Probably both.
"As if that means anything to you", she hissed at him, blindly lashing out at the first person at hand. "You're itching to get out of hospital, so go, you're almost there. Tomorrow is your big day then I won't ever hear anything from you again. I know your kind, as soon as you're back on your feet again, you'll forget everything that had been before. You won't even think about me or what I feel, because you don't care, Dick."
He was so stunned by her words that he forgot to breathe for a moment. Had he missed something? It was not like her to accuse him of things that just were not true. He cared about her, more than he wanted to.
"Is this about us?", he asked her hesitantly, not understanding a word she said. "Because I do care, Lizzie. Our friendship isn't something I'll just discard."
"You say that now, but then you'll leave me all the same, getting yourself killed", she spat scathingly.
Where would she suddenly get this notion from? Dick was at a loss of what to say or do. She was completely irrational and he had no idea why she said such things.
She reached again for a stone, turning away from him, and he suddenly noticed a letter lying on the ground beside her. He could see an eagle on the front of it, not the American, but the German 'Reichsadler'. All of a sudden everything made more sense. This was not at all about them.
"This is about your brother", he slowly said, coming a few steps closer. The anguished look she gave him and the new tears in her eyes told him that he was spot on. He gingerly sat down beside her, looking at the letter. "May I read it?"
She just nodded, fighting tears and looking away while he scanned the pages. He could not decipher much, since it was written both in Gothic print and in German, but he could make out a name: Johann Weiss. And he knew what it meant. This was a death notice from the German Army.
"I'm very sorry", he murmured to her, trying to reach for her hand, but she pulled it away before he could touch her.
"They dare writing this crap to me!", she forced out, tearing the letter out of his hands and throwing it into the pond. "Who do they even think they are, writing of heroic death and blood loyalty?"
She was shaking with fury and Dick told himself to keep quiet. She wanted and needed to be angry now, he understood that much. All that was left, after the rage had gone, was pain. And she was desperately struggling against accepting that.
"They are twisting and killing children for their sick ideas", she continued, wringing her white hands. "And for what? A slaughter for a demonstration of the dominance of the 'Herrenrasse'? They'll be losing this war and they'll all regret what they've done for decades and centuries to come!"
Lizzie wiped her nose with a rough movement of her hand, pursing her lips into a thin line. Dick heard her taking a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself, but it was getting her nowhere. When he looked at her, he could see her biting her lips and swallowing madly. The despair in her eyes almost broke his heart.
"He deserved to die", she forced out bitterly, tears now streaming down her face. "It's good he's dead, at least his shame can be forgotten now."
Dick had to let her know that she was not alone, that he was there and that he cared. Very slowly he drew her to his chest, slinging an arm around her shoulders. First she tried to fight him, but then she let it happen, starting to sob against him. Her soft hair tickled against his chin and he gently stroked her back, making her cry even harder and clinging to him with a force he had not known she possessed. Feeling her quaking body against his chest and hearing her sob made it hard for him to reign in his own emotions. Swallowing heavily a few times, he just let her rest against him, no words coming to him that might have softened the blow fortune had dealt her.
He could not have said how long they were staying like this. Her sobs eventually quietened down, but she made no move to disentangle herself from him and he was not yet ready to let her go either. Her breath was warm against his throat, slowly becoming calmer.
After some more minutes she finally drew away from him with a sigh.
"I cried all over your sweater", she said in a voice that was stuffy with tears, giving him the tiniest of smiles with eyes shrouded in sadness.
"Don't you worry about that", he replied gently, sweeping an errand strand of hair out of her face and giving her the only handkerchief he kept on him.
"Thanks", she muttered meekly, blowing her nose. Dick had to fight down the sudden urge to hold her tight again and to keep her close to his chest forever, defying everyone that dared to hurt her again.
They sat together in silence, Lizzie leaning against Dick's shoulder, one of his arms still loosely slung around her. A steady drizzle hat set in, but none of them made a move to get up.
"Joe chose to have me informed in case of his death, not my father", she said softly after a time, her voice now level. "He was killed somewhere on the rivers of the Dnieper, fighting against the Soviet Army. He just turned twenty this summer."
"I'm very sorry to hear that", Dick replied, giving her a heartfelt nod of support.
"Thanks", she answered to that, smiling sadly. "He was such a funny little midget when we were kids. He was always annoying me with his stupid rhymes that he had made up just to aggravate me. But then he got older and stronger. I hardly realized he was growing up so fast until he was defending me against some brash jerk that wanted to make a move on me in school. When my mom still lived we spent the summer at the sea, going for a swim in about every weather..."
Her voice trailed off, leaving her smiling tearfully at Dick.
"Try to remember him that way", he told her softly, giving her another squeeze with his arm around her shoulder.
"I try, but it's so hard with everything that has happened since then", she replied quietly. "And now it's so definite, with his death. No chance to right that wrong."
He nodded understandingly at that, not knowing what to say in return. Of course she was right. This was not something you could just put behind you, it would take time to heal.
"Maybe it was my father's fault after all", she said in a low voice, snuffling. "He should've put all this Kraut stuff behind in Europe, not telling us the whole time about it."
"Don't say that", he decided to disagree, but only very gently, giving her a nudge with his shoulder. "It's part of who you are, part of your heritage. You told me yourself that your father never sympathized with any Nazi ideas, but put himself firmly against them. Don't let your brother ruin your identity with what he did. You turned out just fine."
That earned him a small smile.
"Thanks", she replied softly, watching the letter that had floated on the water slowly sink to the bottom of the pond. "I need to write my father. He probably doesn't know yet."
"Yes, that won't be easy", he acknowledged.
The steady drizzle was slowly drenching their clothes. None of them had bothered to put on a jacket before going outside and Dick could feel Lizzie starting to shiver beside him. He slowly got to his feet, feeling his side tweak a bit in discomfort, but held out a hand for her nonetheless.
"It should be the other way around, you know", she repeated his words with another tiny smile, but took his hand all the same. However, her smile was a delicate thing, she still looked on the verge of tears.
"Yeah, but maybe I'll later let you help me back into bed, just to still your thirst for helping people", he replied with a gentle smile of his own, making her snort softly, the sound somewhere between a laugh and a suppressed sob.
"Will you be alright?", he asked her when they slowly walked back to the hospital.
"Yes", she answered after some thinking, wiping her eyes dry with her sleeve. "Thanks, Dick. For everything."
It was said with such a heartfelt emphasis that he drew her close again with one arm, pressing a kiss on her hair before he knew what he was doing. Dick could not say who was more surprised, he or Lizzie. But she made no move to draw away from him, instead snuggling closer to his side. They stayed like that until the entrance of the hospital came into view, then slowly separated themselves from each other.
"Take care of yourself", he told her softly. "You should give yourself some time to come to terms with everything."
"No", she disagreed slowly, looking at her hands. "I need work now to keep my mind off constantly thinking about my brother's death."
Dick was not sure that was the right way to deal with her grief, but it was not his place to say so.
"Will I see you tomorrow?", he asked her instead.
"Yeah, I'll be there", she promised, giving him a last nod, then disappearing in the nurses' barracks.
-tbc-