A/N: I'm Back. ya'll. I don't really know what to say except for I'm sorry this came out so cheesy. I didn't intend that, it's my evil hands' fault. also, there's a slight lemon here. it's really just nothing. hah. *hides behind Naru-chan* this isn't the end, really. I think. *looks at my documents* I'm actually nervous to upload this, but meh. it's better than nothing.
Thank you for those who favorited, followed, reviewed and read this unbeta'd mushy story. bah. I just feel like crying again. *waves hands* THANK YOU! this is all for you. hate it, like it, detest it? tell me. ! *huffs* I'm tired, I'm going back to sleep. bye.
WAARNING: Bad grammar, Cheesy!NaruSasu, probably OOC? idrk. and a very life altering lemon. Not really. *sighs* why am I talking too much? ugh. oh and uh, crazy authoresssssss. XD
DISCLAIMER: NOT MINE. *runs and cries*
Chapter 5: "I can start my whole life over"
Present Day: Friday, 8:30 pm
When I started my day, I felt like something is going to happen. Whether it was good or bad, I didn't know but I'm already anticipating it. I can almost feel it crawling up my spine waiting for a right time to catch me off guard. I don't know what it is and when it will be, but just for the heck of it – or really, I'm just too scared that my heart might explode in any minute because of what happened these past few days, that I'm always alert.
But all those alertness and anticipation didn't do anything to help me when I came home from work earlier than usual. My heart stopped beating – or felt like it stopped, I don't really know – when I saw who was sitting at the couch, his face also stilled from shock, probably from not anticipating me going home early.
Since the last months when we're together, I would always go home later than usual.
So when our eyes met, I knew that I should do something before everything that is left comes crumbling down.
"Naruto." I mumbled, realizing that this is the first time that I uttered that name with the said person in front of me.
"Sasuke, I –" He stood up but I walked towards him and hugged him for dear life. I'm not going to lie; I feel like my Uchiha pride just went down the drain, but fuck my pride right now, it's the reason why all of this happened. I prepared myself from struggle on Naruto's part but it didn't happen, instead he hugged me back just as tightly as I was hugging him.
At that moment, I sighed a deep breath of relief that I didn't know I was holding. It's like being judged not guilty after being imprisoned for 10 years. I thought that I wouldn't have any chance of having Naruto back. I swear, I already prepared for more of a heart and life shattering break up, but it didn't come.
It wouldn't come, I know it.
I hope.
"Sasuke, I'm sorry, I was wrong." Naruto mumbled on my shoulder. I shook my head no. No it's not your fault it's mine. Please don't blame yourself.
"Naruto, I'm sorry I'm so fucking stupid. All you ever wanted was for me to be better and all I did was to prove to you how unfitted I was for you." That was the truth and I know that. Naruto just wanted me to be there and though physically I am, but mentally and probably emotionally I wasn't. And I know that now. I regret it so much.
"No Sasuke, no look. It's not your fault really." Naruto insisted, I shook my head no again but he kissed my lips to silence me then he continued. "I'm not going to blame you because I know you did nothing wrong. Wait, don't talk first, please…" he whispered the last word and I just nodded.
This time, I'll listen, I promise.
"Even before we became friends, I already know you're a person who likes to be left alone, especially when you're serious over something or have a goal in mind. I know that and I still love you even though it's a character of yours that is totally opposite of mine. I love seeing you when you're working, I love seeing you when you're in deep thought or when you're too hooked on something you're reading. I know you're working so hard because you want your brother's acknowledgement but it's also because you only want what's best for me. You like giving me something that I can boast about even if I didn't ask you for it…" I didn't know I was crying until Naruto wiped a tear on my cheek.
I have a feeling that even though he's saying all of this, it's like it's going somewhere bad. It only made me cry more. I'm not bawling or wailing or whatever but I'm shaking, I just noticed when Naruto gripped my arms tighter.
"Sshh…Sasuke, it's not your fault. I just –" Naruto tried to stop a sob that was about to come out of his mouth. He's now shaking from trying to control his voice.
What the hell is happening? I feel like we're starring in a romantic film that will soon end in a tragedy. As much as I love to be in a film with Naruto as my lover, I would rather be in a rom-com. It always ends in a happy ending right?
"…I became so selfish. Not even thinking about how you feel. I became so needy that I forgot that the reason why I'm with you is because we balance each other and not just you who always needs to adjust for me. I'm sorry I got so self-centered that it even made you think that it's your fault. I fell in love with you because of who you are and what I'm doing now in our relationship is the opposite. I'm so fucking stupid, I unconsciously want you to change to someone I didn't know and love. That's why these past few days, I realized that the reason why you're so hateful in my eyes is because I made up a version of you in my mind that even I didn't know. It's fucking hard to explain but Sasuke, I really am sorry." When Naruto finished, he didn't hesitate on releasing his tears. I stood there holding him but at the same time bewildered.
I'm so shocked that Naruto has those kinds of thoughts. He's been nothing but perfect for me and I know that because I also realized my mistakes and this isn't suppose to happen. Naruto shouldn't blame himself. Naruto shouldn't.
Well, it doesn't look like it will end badly, but it still hurts me that Naruto thinks about this being his fault.
"Naruto." I didn't know what to say so I just hugged him tighter. It seems like even though we talked; we're just going to blame our self. They said actions speaks louder than words so instead of repeating sorry and sorry and It's my fault again and again when it will only help us with nothing, I just kissed Naruto, again and again. He returned the kiss with the same intensity, again and again.
God I missed his lips. His warmth. His tongue that kept on probing inside my mouth. Everything about him. The way his left arm would wrap around my waist and his right hands would stroke my cheeks softly while we kiss. A kiss that is passionate but at the same time affectionate. His wandering hands that would touch every inch of my body that he can reach. It glided softly at the planes of my shoulder then it would rest just above my ass, pulling me closer to him as our groins aligned perfectly because of our height. Clothes were thrown everywhere as Naruto pushed me to our couch.
Our Couch. Not mine, not Naruto's but Ours.
I lay underneath him, groaning at the way he grounded his bare hips on my bare ones. Skin to skin, heart to heart. Naruto kissed me once again, from my lips down to my neck, collarbone, and chest and everywhere he can. This body is his and his alone and I will never think twice about it.
"I missed you so much, Sasuke." Naruto mumbled on my skin near my pelvis.
I know that, and I can feel that. I missed you too Naruto.
After what felt like an eternity of kisses and touches – an eternity that I wanted to remain – Naruto climbed up to meet my awaiting lips and kissed me senseless. I remained silent the whole time with only groans and murmurs of Naruto's name on my lips. I felt my legs being placed on his shoulders and waist before a wave of pain and pleasure run through my vain. The pain was bearable but still more pronounced than the pleasure. It's been too long since I've experienced this but at the moment, I wouldn't care even if there's no pleasure at all, because this is Naruto. I'll take whatever he gives me.
"Fuck." I moaned wantonly which was a very uncharacteristic thing for me but when it comes to Naruto, I would probably be dancing Macarena if he wants me to dance with him. The blonde above me smirked when he finally hit the bundle of nerves that made me arch, exposing more of me than what was possible. I glared at him but it only made him smile, his smile that can probably save millions of people with heart disease.
I smiled back at him.
The whole night was spent with us making love. Not just fucking but love making. His thrust would go deep and slow, in and out in and out then shallow and fast repeatedly. His lips never left mine even though it became sloppy with the way Naruto move, the way he thrust into me. We didn't change position because of too much want to be closer with each other without breaking eye contact or without breaking our kiss. Missionary position might be too normal and boring for other people, but for us, it's our way of expressing our love not just with words but with action. Rough, hard and kinky sex can wait. There's plenty of time for that but for now…
"Naruto..nggh." I groaned, already feeling the climax building up. Naruto knowing this grabbed my neglected shaft and pumped it fast though not in sync with his thrust. Our body became uncoordinated with our release just a minute away but our heart beats still in tune.
"Sasuke…Haah…" Naruto cried out at the same time I moaned from my release. He bit me on my shoulders before going back to my lips, swallowing the words that I was going to say.
I love you.
I love you too.
The damage might have been done, but no one said it cannot be fixed. Both Naruto and I have been at fault but nothing will change if we kept on blaming each other or ourselves. We might have ended but this will be a start.
A start for a stronger relationship.
It's true that I love being alone whenever I'm too focused on something and Naruto might be a bit of an attention-seeker when he wants to but it's only for awhile because at the end of the day, you'll still look for that someone that would only complete your day and no book reading can make you feel satisfied. It will always be your other half that will complete you, that's why they are called your other half.
Made sense, right?
Even if you have all the time in the world to sleep, no one can deny the fact that it's so much better sleeping beside the person that you love rather than being alone. Even if that said person wouldn't stop talking and doesn't want you to sleep, at least you're together.
Made sense again.
And if you have all the achievement in the world, but no one to share it with, why bother right? You can watch any show that you like but nothing beats watching your one true love sleeping peacefully beside you after a night of passion and love. A life without your soul mate, lover, partner, other half or whatever you call it would always be bluer than blue.
Clichéd? It's the truth though.
"Cause I'm bluer than blue,
Sadder than sad
You're the only light this empty room has ever had.
A life without you is gonna be
Bluer than blue…"
-Michael Johnson