Hello!
I hope you all enjoyed the holidays and started well into 2014. As you can see, I finally had time for writing again and am therefore able to post another chapter. Hope you enjoy!
Special thanks goes to: beth-rodrigues.77 (Hehe, yes, it had to happen eventually, Dick succumbing to Lizzie... *g* Glad you liked the talk with Sobel, I was a bit unsure about that part. Thanks a lot for your review!), Semaphore (Thanks a lot for the review, liked it a lot!), ScarletLeon (Very glad you liked "Dizzie's first time"! :-) I'm not all that comfortable with writing pillow talk, since I'm always a bit afraid that it will sound corny in the end... Therefore I'm very happy you liked the scene. And Nix coming in! :-))) Loved your review, thanks very much!), ChocAndSnow19 (Oh yes, naughty Dick is back... *ggg* I know there was no such side of him envisaged in the series, but I still love to picture him this way. *ggg* Hehe, so glad you liked Nix coming in! Couldn't resist, really. ;-) Glad you liked the part with Sobel, I had hoped to picture him as a more complex character through that. I'm always so happy to read your reviews, thanks very much! :-)), phoenixmagic1 (Welcome to the story! Yeah, I know that Sobel's talk might have been a bit out-of-character for him, hope it wasn't too strange. But yeah, as you already suspected, I needed that talk for what's to follow, it WILL come back to haunt them...:-))) Glad you liked and thanks a lot for taking the time to review!), Guest (Thanks for the review and yeah, I will write more, I promise! ;-))), indifferentshell (Hehe, it's true, when you summarize what Dick did in the last chapter, it was really unlike what he usually does... :-) But that's exactly the way I love him, more human and less perfect. *ggg* And yes, Nix had very bad timing. *lol* You're absolutely right, Dick forgetting training isn't exactly a good sign. More about that in the future chapters... ;-) Hehe, and yeah, it's true, Lizzie was more rational in the last chapter. Let's see about this chapter... ;-) Thanks so much for your reviews, I really love them and look forward to reading them! :-))).
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The clouds in the night sky flickered with swathes of lightning. Instead of thunder, machine gun fire cracked through the air. Another plane was hit, and spiraled in a burning haze towards the earth, leaving a dark column of smoke in its wake.
She knew with a pang that she would die here. There was no chance anyone could survive this inferno. Fear had her heart in a vice-like grip. Let it be over quickly, let it be over quickly, let it be over quickly... These were the only words that she could think of while the plane rocked wildly beneath her. The faces of the soldiers sitting beside and opposite of her looked so pale that their heads were just white blotches in the dark of the night. It looked like she was surrounded by ghosts.
Suddenly, she realized that she was not sitting in the plane anymore. She was not wearing a parachute either, hovering somewhere between heaven and earth like a ghost herself. Confusion lasted only a second, until she suddenly recognized a familiar face in one of the planes. It was him, looking determined and terrified at the same time, with his lips pressed into a thin line. These lips that she had kissed so many times...
There was a deafening blast and she saw the beloved face turn into a mask of horror when the plane was hit and transformed into a burning hell. She wanted to scream, wanted to pull him out, wanted to break free of the arms that kept her immobile.
"Nooo!"
With a cry that was more a sob than anything else, Lizzie shot up into a sitting position and with her head almost knocked out Jean, who had been bending over her. Her heart was hammering in her chest and she had to swallow heavily to keep the bile from rising in her throat.
"You dreamed, Lizzie", Jean tried to comfort her timidly. "You were whimpering in your sleep."
Lizzie hardly heard her, her breath coming in hard gasps. It had felt so real! The anguish and terror still clung to her, pumping adrenaline through her body. She thought she had lost him! Her eyes filled with tears that she could only barely fight down.
"It was just a dream", Jean soothed her.
Lizzie took another deep breath, wrestling for composure. Jean was right, it had been a dream, a silly dream. Though it helped to tell herself that her mind had made up the horrible scenario and that no one was in danger of dying, she knew that she was too upset to go back to sleep right away. She feared she would be back in that same inferno if she could find some sleep at all. Looking at her watch, she saw that it was almost four o'clock.
"Thanks, for waking me", she told Jean, then got up and threw on her coat.
"Where are you going?", the young nurse asked.
"Outside for a smoke."
"Do you wish for some company?", Jean asked her shyly. There was an offer in that question, an offer to unload the burden of this dream on someone else's shoulder. As tempting as it was, Lizzie wanted to deal with this on her own.
"No, but thanks for asking", she answered and forced herself to give the other nurse a smile. "I'm fine, nothing to worry about."
Jean gave a doubtful nod, but Lizzie hardly saw it because she was already on her way out of the barracks. It was all quiet in the corridor, no sound could be heard beside the soft padding of her shoes on the metallic floor.
When she stepped outside, the freshness and liveliness of the night air immediately helped her calm down. She could practically smell the life around her, the forest, the damp earth, even the cow pastures smelled good to her. Slowly, she sat down on the steps and lit herself a cigarette.
It had probably been Sobel's speech of doom and gloom that had made her mind dream up such an apocalyptic scenario. Lizzie snorted and shook her head. She would not let herself be scared witless just because of some crazy predictions.
As much as she struggled to wrestle the dream behind a safe barrier of rationality, she could not shake off the vividness of the image. What she had dreamed had felt so real. And now that she thought about it, this could be a truthful image of what might still come to pass. Lizzie felt herself shuddering. She did not believe in foreseeing, never had. But then again, she also never had allowed herself to think in detail about the months to come. She had been so busy with living for the moment and meeting the future one day after the other that she had never thought about the moment when Dick would actually leave for war.
What if he did not come back? A new wave of panic surged through her, so powerful she shad trouble breathing. He would leave for war, in weeks, maybe months... He could be dead in half a year, bleeding out on some foreign patch of earth.
Memories of her brother were still fresh in her mind. The day she had last seen Joe, the realization that he would be leaving for war, the moment she had received the devastating news... Often enough she had thought about how Joe had died exactly, but there were just too many ways to die in battle, and she had forbidden herself after a short time to go through every possible scenario in her head.
What if a similar fate awaited Dick? Terror choked her and she flicked away her cigarette to bury her face in her hands. Oh god, what had she done? How stupid, stupid, stupid, to fall in love with a man bound for such an uncertain fate, with a higher power rolling the dice about him living or dying. He could not leave, she was so sure she would not see him again if he left for this hell!
Tears came to her eyes. If he went to war and she stayed behind in England, it would drive her mad. There was no way she could live for months, maybe even years, with the fear of hearing the devastating news from some officer or checking the death rolls daily. Why had she even allowed herself to get close to him? How could she have been so blind as to suppress every thought of the future? And how could Dick just have let it happen? He always thought of everything, he was the rational one, how could he have let everything happen and would leave her all the same to let her anguish about his fate?
Anger suddenly pulsated through her, droning out the desperation. He probably had not even spared a thought about her state of worry! She felt like getting up and kicking something, instead chose to light herself another cigarette. As soon as she blew out the smoke, the anger left her. It was not his fault, it almost never was. It was hers and hers alone. She was an adult, for Christ's sake, she ought to know what she was doing!
Sighing, she felt her shoulders drooping. Dick had been right. She was a child, a child with a childish mind. This had all been a game to her, a primary school teacher playing at army nurse. How ridiculous! This was serious, dead serious, and she only realized that now.
Oh god, what had she done?
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Noon of the next day found Lizzie waiting on the open field just outside the military base for another battlefield training with second platoon of Easy company. Her eyes felt gritty from crying and her arms and legs were heavy with lack of sleep. She had been unable to get back to sleep after that dream in the night and she was not sure she could find the energy to get through the physical exercises today. Only good thing was that first aid was on the schedule, which meant she would not miss anything important when she was only half-listening.
They waited for the Easy men to show up and she dreaded the moment she would see Dick again. He would surely notice that something was off. She knew from a glance into the mirror this morning that she looked awful, all pale and red-eyed. But she could not tell him about it, she was certain he would only worry and he did not need that right now.
As soon as the soldiers showed up, she realized that her apprehension about seeing Dick had been unnecessary. He was not among the men. Lizzie saw Lipton at the head of second platoon, talking quietly to Captain Teller and she recognized most of the other men, but no Dick. Frowning, she watched the men she had come to know more thoroughly in the last few weeks. She saw Bill and George standing quite close to her. Both of them wore an expression that could be called uneasy. Bill suddenly looked up and gave her a fleeting glance out of dark eyes before he looked away.
Lizzie's frown deepened. Okay, there was definitely something brewing here.
"Alright, ladies", Teller called for attention. "We're a bit short on time today, so we'll skip running. The nurses please pair up with one of the medics and either three women of the different units or three soldiers."
As relieved as Lizzie was that she would not need to force her body through the physical exercises, she did without rejoicing and immediately went forward to grab Eugene Roe as her partner. After all, she knew him the best from all the other medics and maybe she could get him to spill the whole story.
"Lieutenant Weiss", Roe greeted her quietly and with a nod accepted her as her partner for the exercise.
"Please, just call me Lizzie, I don't feel all that comfortable with the military title", she encouraged him, but Roe only gave a shy smile and then averted his eyes to the ground.
"I on the other hand wouldn't feel comfortable with calling you by your first name, ma'am", he replied, then gave her a hesitant smile as if asking for her understanding. Lizzie gave a shrug since she couldn't force him, after all. In the meantime, Bill, Malarkey and a man with blond hair joined them.
"Warren Muck", the blond introduced himself with a smile.
"Elisabeth Weiss", she replied, then added with a sigh, "Second lieutenant."
"Alright, we'll first practice emergency bandage", Roe began immediately and gestured for Malarkey to lie on the ground. "I'll show you the different dressings first and Lieutenant Weiss can correct me if I'm doing something wrong, then you can practice on each other. This is very important, the life of the man next to you can depend on you using the right bandage at the right time."
Lizzie saw the three men nodding earnestly at what Roe had said. The medic shed any shyness when explaining the handling of the different dressings to the men and she could see how seriously he took his work. She hardly saw need to correct him and mostly just nodded at what he said.
Compared to the last few training she had had with Easy, there was no joking or flirting coming from the men, they all did what was asked of them with a curious gravity and silence. Lizzie watched everything for a while, then finally could not hold herself back anymore.
"Where's your platoon leader? He's normally coming along, too, isn't he?", she asked as innocently as possible and watched all four of them, Roe included, wince at her question. Their reaction did nothing to set Lizzie's mind at rest.
"Well...", Bill answered slowly, probably deciding that she had a right to know, as he was the only one around who knew about her and Dick. And as was the sergeant's wont, he chose the straight approach. "He was transferred to Battalion mess because he'll have to face court-martial."
Lizzie tried to master her reaction, but she could still feel herself gawking at Bill and stammered, "You're joking, right?"
Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Roe give her a frown. She tried to ignore him and focused solely on Bill, who was giving her a somewhat pained smile.
"No joke, I'm afraid", he replied and scratched his head.
"What did he do?", Lizzie asked on. Yes, she knew it would be conspicuous to show so much interest in the fate of a lieutenant she supposedly only barely knew, but she needed to know right now. She had only seen Dick last evening and she was sure he would have told her about something as important as facing court-martial.
"He inspected the latrines 15 minutes later than ordered", Bill answered and shook his head as if he could not believe it himself.
"Come on, stop pulling my leg, Bill", Lizzie tried again, still hoping for a big joke.
"It's true", Malarkey now joined in. "Our CO changed inspection time at the last minute and Winters didn't receive the new orders. As far as we've heard, Winters could choose between taking the punishment for his 'offences' or court-martial. He chose the latter."
"Yeah, bless his uprightness", Bill commented sardonically. "Lucky us, we can now look after ourselves again. It was so much fun last time."
"You know it had to come to this eventually", Muck put in carefully, then turned to Lizzie. "They've been fighting for ages, Sobel and Winters. Discreetly of course, but it's not like their rivalry was lost on any of us. That latrine duty incident was just an excuse for our CO and the last straw for Winters. It could as well have been something else. Maybe the court-martial won't be such a bad thing, it might settle things. In Winters' favor, I hope."
"That's all nice and terrific", Bill put in, his voice now dripping with sarcasm. "But do you know how long it can take to figure out the procedures for a court-martial? It might very well be that he's still cooking spaghetti in Aldbourne when we'll be making the big jump. All of us with Sobel and some sorry excuse for a platoon leader."
Silence followed the sergeant's last comment. Lizzie hardly knew what train of thought she should follow, there were just too many of them. Maybe she should have taken the talk yesterday with Dick about his CO more seriously. She had known he disliked Sobel, but she had thought it was still within the realms of what was normal between a lieutenant and his superior officer. If she had listened to Dick more carefully, maybe she could have stopped him from doing something rash that he would be regretting later. At the same time, she thought that Muck had a point. Sobel's and Dick's strife could put the whole operation in danger, it was probably better to settle things before the big jump.
Suddenly, a new thought crossed Lizzie's mind, coming out of nowhere: Would it be really so bad if figuring out the procedures took such a long time? What if Dick missed the big jump and stayed in England...?
"I'm not sure we should discuss this here", Roe ended the long silence and gave each of the men a long look. "Let's get back to first aid."
The rest of the training passed as if in a blur for Lizzie. A dozen plans about what she could do flitted through her head, but none of them seemed practicable. She finally decided to try and talk to Lipton, then in the afternoon to Dick. Luckily enough, she knew that Dick had his final check-up in hospital today, which would officially clear him for regular duty. Lizzie knew that this was just a formality, because he was back to regular duty for three weeks now, but it would give her the perfect opportunity to talk to him.
As soon as the training was over, she looked for Lipton and saw him leave the practice field alone and in quite a hurry. She needed to jog to catch up with him.
"Carwood!", she called out to him as she had almost reached him. "Could you slow down for a minute, please?"
The sergeant turned around with a small sigh and a frown that told her that he had deliberately hurried to be away from her.
"What is it?", he asked her quietly, then quickly checked their surrounding to see if there was someone listening in. "I've got things to do, you know."
"Yeah, sure", she replied neutrally. "I'll make it quick, then. What do you intend to do about Winters?"
He sighed again, shaking his head slowly, then asked long-sufferingly, "You've heard already, huh? I should've known that the boys can never keep their mouths shut."
"Which isn't that bad, since you've also heard things from me before that I should've kept to myself", she replied easily, looking at him intently.
"Yeah, I know", he said and grimaced a bit. "Look, I'm not sure you should get involved. You got in trouble before and I don't want to drag you in again. Maybe you should sit this one out."
"Let that be my problem, alright?", Lizzie answered, feeling herself bristling at his paternal tone.
The sergeant paused, eyeing her intently, then finally nodded his head.
"Alright, I'll tell you", he sighed. "It's as simple as that: We can't lose Winters to Battalion mess. Easy company won't work without him. When Winters asked us to do nothing when Shames took over second platoon, we listened to him despite everything. It's been the worst time I've lived through since I've joined the army. I won't see that repeated if I have a chance to change it."
Lizzie was impressed by Lipton's resolute words, but still realized that he had told her nothing of his plan yet.
"So what are you going to do?", she repeated quietly.
"We talked about it this morning, shortly after we learned what had transpired", Lipton continued and let his gaze drop to the ground. "The only thing that will make Sink realize that Sobel isn't up to the task of leading this company and that we need to get Winters back is to hand in our stripes. All the NCOs of this company."
Lizzie did not know what to say to that at first. Even in her wildest dreams she would not have imagined the sergeants doing something this radical.
"Well, that's bold", she answered slowly. "And risky. Does Winters know about it?"
"No", he replied and looked at her sharply. "And it's going to stay like that, Lizzie."
She gave him a faint smile.
"You know I must tell him about it. I think he's got a right to know you're risking your positions and maybe even your lives for him. You can't leave him in the dark about this."
"No", Lipton insisted. "He'll just try to dissuade us and it's not going to work. And it'll look like he'd set us up for it."
"You still got to give him the chance to talk it through with you", Lizzie said, as adamant about it as the sergeant. "Look, just tell me when and where he can meet you this evening and I'll pass the message without letting him know about the plan."
"And if I refuse a meeting?", he asked, looking at her speculatively.
"I'll tell him all about it", she replied. It troubled her, to blackmail Lipton like that, but she knew she would feel even worse if she knew about his plan and kept quiet about it when facing Dick.
Lipton frowned, then said quietly, "2000 hours, the barn behind the King's Arms. And that's the last time you've heard something like that from me, Lizzie."
Having said that, the sergeant turned around and walked away from her. Lizzie bit her lips, watching him leave. Whatever small friendship they had shared was probably over now. With a sigh, she searched out Jean to walk together with the other nurse back to the hospital.
She only hoped that telling Dick about everything was worth it.
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When Lizzie went back to the hospital, she came across Greta hobbling around in the hallway. Her friend was up and walking again, though only with the help of crutches, and her belly was so huge by now that Lizzie was amazed Greta could still move around at all.
"How was battlefield training?", her friend asked and leaned on her crutches.
"Alright, I guess", Lizzie replied distractedly. Her mind was circling around the newest troubles in Easy company and about Dick. It always seemed to be about him these days when she was worried.
"Are you okay?", Greta asked her suspiciously and leaned in to peer at her. "You look like you've been crying."
"It's nothing", Lizzie answered quickly and evaded her friend's gaze. "Maybe some dirt in the eyes, that's all."
"I don't believe you", the doctor declared with a frown. "Don't tell me you've been fighting with your paratrooper again! If he can't stop giving you grief, I..."
"Greta, please, it's not his fault", Lizzie interrupted her with a sigh. "It's difficult, you know." She paused, then decided to be open about it with Greta. "I never truly realized until now that..."
She did not get further because Paul came suddenly bursting into the hallway, looking excited.
"Honey!", he called out and came closer to embrace his wife with a big smile. "Guess what? I finally found a crib! Wooden, barely used. I'll go and get it this evening."
"That's wonderful", Greta replied, turning away from Lizzie with a smile breaking through, then she gave her husband a kiss.
"We could paint it red, if you'd like to", Paul suggested and Lizzie slowly began to feel like an intruder in this private scene.
She made a show of checking her watch, then cleared her throat before saying, "I got to go. I'll see you later, Greta, Paul."
She did not wait for answers but turned around to go change into her nurse dress and throw herself into her work. The flu epidemic had hit the base hard and Lizzie guessed that they would be quite busy with all the sick soldiers until Christmas in two weeks. Beside that, they always had to deal with accidents happening in the training.
Concentrating on what she was doing helped keeping the most pressing worries at an arm's length and she had managed to immerse herself so deeply into her work that she almost missed Dick's appointment. She was five minutes late when she hurried into the examination room.
Dick was just rolling down his shirt when she entered and he gave her a cursory look out of shadowy eyes before he concentrated back on what Paul was saying. He looked composed enough at first glance, but Lizzie knew by now how to interpret the little signs: the clenching and unclenching of his jaw, his eyebrows drawing together slightly and his eyes looking a shade darker than normally. It was enough for Lizzie to realize that he was angry.
"Let's cut this short, Lieutenant Winters", Paul said and lit himself a cigarette. "You're completely healed, obviously. You look like you've been back to regular training for a while now, so we'll just make this official now. Here's your medical clearance."
"Thank you, doctor", Dick replied quietly and took the attestation before he got up.
"Good", Paul said, already beginning to sound distracted. Greta knew that he was prone to already think of the next sick or injured body part as soon as his latest object had healed well enough. So it took her aback when he suddenly looked at her before addressing Winters again with unusual gravity, "Please take care in the future, lieutenant."
Dick looked surprised for a short moment before he masked it with a smile that looked forced.
"I will. Thanks for everything, doctor."
With that, he left the examination room, Lizzie following him. They silently walked down the hallway and only when the cold December air hit them outside the hospital, Dick suddenly sighed.
"I guess you've heard already?", he asked quietly, looking at her.
"Yeah, your men told me today in training", she decided to reply while they slowly walked to his jeep.
He remained silent and averted his eyes to look to the ground. She could see that he was deep in thought, probably mulling over all his options. As soon as they were alone, a constant frown had come to rest on his forehead, but other than that, he barely allowed his emotions to show. Lizzie did not know if she admired him for his stoic front or if it annoyed her. There were so many reasons for him to throw a tantrum but instead he kept it all to himself. She was sure she would be howling in frustration if she were in his shoes.
"Are you going to be alright?", she asked him quietly. She was sure she would be able to provoke some kind of emotional reaction from him if they were alone, but since they were not, she had to allow him to deal with everything in ways that seemed best to him. Which was not all that easy for her, by the way.
"Yeah, fine", he replied steadily, with no sarcasm to be detected in his voice. "Regiment will realize Sobel overstepped his boundaries. I'll be back with the men soon."
"How long will it take until court-martial?", she asked him.
"Don't know. It might take a few weeks."
She did not realize she had held her breath while waiting for his answer. No one really knew when the invasion of Europe would start. Some said in early spring, others opted for summer. It could all happen very fast, practically from one day to the other. The only thing that was completely and irrevocably sure was that there would be an attack, and it came closer daily.
Lizzie swallowed heavily, the dream she had had last night suddenly on the forefront of her mind. She must have turned pale or something, because Dick was peering at her more closely.
"Are you alright?", he asked her with concern in his voice. "You look sick."
"I'm fine, Dick", she replied, forcing a smile onto her lips. "I had a bad night, that's all."
He gave her a doubtful look, but before he could dig deeper, she shoved a small slip of paper in his hand.
"Your NCOs want to talk to you", she told him quietly. "They got something planned."
She could practically watch his eyes turn another shade darker, his scowl deepening.
"I told them to let Regiment handle everything", he muttered. "All I asked of them is to sit tight and wait until Regiment has figured out the procedures for the court-martial. Blast it, why can't they just listen to me? And why did they involve you to act as a messenger?"
"It was my idea", she confessed and watched him grit his teeth at that. "Don't worry, I'll keep myself out of your business this time." She paused, then told him quietly, "Your men are afraid you'll be missing the big jump, that's why they want to act."
"I'll be back with them long before we'll make the jump", Dick told her fiercely. "They can't keep me here while my men start the invasion. If it really starts to look like time is running out, I'll go with my appeal for court-martial as high up in the authorities as I have to."
Lizzie could not help but notice the determination in his voice. Still, she was unable to hold back her next question.
"Would it be so bad?", she asked, almost in a whisper. "Staying here in England?"
First, he just looked confused, then he immediately started to shake his head.
"You know I won't stay here", he told her. "I didn't train for more than a year only to supervise the mess kitchen in Aldbourne while the soldiers I trained with risk their lives to fight the Nazis. What do I get out of staying here? Nothing."
His answer felt like a small stab to her heart and she replied, crestfallen, "You'd be safe. And I'd stay here, too."
Dick narrowed his eyes, his mouth pressed into a thin line. His eyes watched her closely, with the sharpness of an eagle. Lizzie could not help but feel naked under his piercing gaze that seemed to search deliberately for secrets she was unwilling to share. Suddenly his eyes filled with realization and she saw him shake his head minutely.
"Don't do that, Lizzie", he warned her. "Don't try to keep me back, because it won't work. I'll go, I have to."
Fear and anguish already had her so tight in their grip that she was unable to reign in the desperation in her next words, "Dick, please, think about it! There's no difference if one man more goes or stays here. We won't win the war if you go and we won't lose it if you stay here! It makes no difference to the world, but it makes a huge difference to me if you live!"
First, he looked too thunderstruck to say anything at all, then he began in a dangerously low voice, "I won't hear any more of this. I don't know what got into you, Lizzie, but you're not yourself right now. These are the words of a coward, and I know you're not a coward! Do you really want to say, on the eve of battle, that it makes no difference if a soldier goes to war or not? That his sacrifice in the end is meaningless, his death worthless? What we're about to do can never be the result of one man, which is why we all have to bear our share. And most important, for my men it makes a huge difference if I go with them or if I stay here. They got loved ones waiting back home, too!" He paused, then added coldly, "I don't want to hear anything like that ever again, do you understand?"
His harsh words brought tears to her eyes, a sob building up in her that she fought down with all her might.
"I'm sorry", she whispered, her voice so choked it lacked all tone. "I'm sorry, Dick, I really am. I'm sorry I spoke these words out loud, I should have kept them to myself. But I can't get myself to feel sorry for hoping you'd be safe here with me."
He watched her intently – a second, two seconds – then he suddenly looked away, the fire in his eyes slowly dying down.
"You knew I'd have to go eventually", he told her, pain creeping into his voice. "You knew from the beginning that I wouldn't stay, that I'd go to battle and that I might not return. Why all this now? Do you think your words make it easier for me? It breaks my heart, Lizzie, to leave you here. You're the best thing that happened to me all my life, nothing is harder than leaving you so soon after I've found you." He paused and watched her with eyes shimmering sadly. "Still, I've got to go and I will go. But when I hear you begging me to stay like you did before, my resolution begins to waver and this is what I can't allow. Please, don't do that."
Lizzie sniffled and managed to nod her head. He reached out a hand to caress her cheek and give her some sort of comfort, but she knew she would lose it completely if he touched her now.
She turned around and fled.
-tbc-