A/N: I figured on another chapter since I really enjoyed your reviews so please keep it up! I'll try to update once a week from now on, but that's about the best I can do since things are pretty crazy right now. Mercury's in retrograde *nods sagely
I didn't see the last episode of uoat or tonight's, but I know everyone is going ape shit over the captainswan business. I'm sort of a multi-shipper but I love the devotion and intensity of swanqueeners. You guys seriously put out some of the best goddamn femslash of any ship on the internet, so my hat goes off to you. In fact, I was pretty intimidated to even start this story since you guys are all so awesome.
Also, just saw swanqueen tumblr dash about tonight's episode and I can't wait to watch it!
Anyway, blathering over. Enjoy!
By the time Emma poofed to Regina's house in a cloud of light blue smoke, the older woman was nowhere to be found. Typical. Fearing the worse, she took off through the front door and down the street. She could have poofed to her parent's house too, but since they'd moved down the street from Regina to "keep and eye on her" (Regina insisted they had actually done it to annoy her) and subleted Mary Margaret's apartment to Emma, the blonde didn't see the point. Poofing a block away was the kind of overuse of magic that Henry had made both her and Regina promise not to indulge in.
Then again, as the Charming's house came into view, she began to think maybe she should have overindulged. It had been at least a year since Regina had driven her Benz through their front door. They'd been doing so well.
"How could you have let him wander off!" she could hear Regina shrieking. As she squeezed her way past the Mercedes over debri and drywall, she saw Mary Margaret try to pick up one of her shattered front double doors, perhaps to use as a shield. Regina's hands were raised in combat. Her dark eyes were wild and the beginnings of bright flames were forming in her palms.
"He was upstairs in his room the whole time!" Mary Margaret shouted back. "He probably just went for one of his walks! Did you check and see if Euphoria was in her stable?"
"YES, you idiot!" Regina howled. Emma sighed and raised her own hands. One of the reasons she'd decided to study magic upon returning to Storybook was because true love magic like hers was primarily defensive. It kept her son's mother in line at times like these.
"You might not want to use a wooden door as a shield against fireballs, ma," Emma said as her wrists shivered with chills and ice balls formed in her palms. She tossed them at Regina's hands and the fireballs fizzled out with a hiss. Seeing this, Regina gave up on magic and decided to lung at her step-daughter with fists that were still steaming.
Emma intercepted again and jumped in front of her mother, shoving Regina back. "Relax, Regina!" she yelled.
"Relax?" the brunette stared at her in disbelief. "My son is missing!"
"I all ready blew up at Mary Margaret, that's why she ran back home," Emma growled. "But freaking out isn't going to solve anything. Let's just calm down and find him, okay? We'll find him, Regina. We will always find him."
Regina's eyes narrowed in disgust at Emma's use of her parents' patented saying. "Golly gee," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Will we, Emma?"
Mary Margaret tossed the door aside and dusted herself off. "He's not a little kid anymore, Regina. And he's… well, you know he can handle himself."
The three of them fell silent for a moment at Snow's unspoken statement about Henry.
"Not necessarily," someone else piped up. Tinkerbell, appearing suddenly, made her way through the hole in Mary Margaret's wall, her face pale. There were leaves stuck in her hair and it looked as though she'd just seen a ghost.
"When did Tinkerbell get here?" Snow asked no one in particular.
Regina dismissed Snow with a wave of her hand that caused a lamp in the corner of the living room to explode. She turned to her old friend. "You saw Henry?"
Tinkerbell nodded. "Yes, I did. I was gathering night berries in the woods for Granny when I saw him meandering along, looking very troubled—but he usually does these days. Anyway, I was going to call out to him, but then I saw…"
The green fairy's face paled again and she seemed to shiver.
"What did you see?" Emma prodded calmly.
Tinkerbell adjusted her blouse nervously. "Pixies."
Mary Margaret and Regina's eyes widened with disbelief. "Pixies?" Emma asked, clueless.
Tinkerbell began to visibly shake. "It's not that they're evil, per se… they're just… completely chaotic. They feed on pleasure and debauchery and they leave a path of destruction in their wake."
"But Henry can handle some Pixies," Emma tried to reason.
Tinkerbell shook her head, sky blue eyes wide. "Pixies are very old. Older than fairies and older even than the dark one. They also love children. I don't know if they wanted Henry for a specific reason but it could be that he was lost. That's usually when Pixies find you. They lead lost travelers astray."
Emma cursed under her breath. "Where is he, then? How do we find him?"
"Is he in danger?" Regina asked, her face now pale too.
"Well… that depends on your definition of danger." Tinkerbell suddenly looked embarrassed. "Pixies mostly like to play pranks and practical jokes, but they're also suckers for sad love stories. They probably took him to the Pixie Queen and… erm… well she… she likes her… playthings."
Emma closed her eyes and opened them again. She had a feeling she knew what Tinkerbell meant but she didn't want to think about it just yet or she wasn't going to be able to stay calm. Regina, however, looked as though she was going to faint.
"Okay. Again, how are we going to bust him out?"
The fairy's face crimsoned as her embarrassment deepened. "Well, it's not that simple. You'll have to get him out of the Pixie Queen's realm soon or he could be trapped there forever. There's a specific way to find the, er, the Queen's lair. You need to go to the woods during a full moon with your true love. Find a clearing with a patch of moss that faces north and…."
Tinkerbell stopped again, apparently unable to continue.
"And…?" Emma pushed impatiently.
And… well, you have to… fornicate."
"Oh," Emma said. "You have to have sex?"
Tinkerbell nodded.
"I would say that David and I could go, but he's still out of town investigating that portal in California," Mary Margaret said anxiously.
"Then I'll go!" Emma said fiercely. "Regina and I will go and get him, to Hell with true love!"
"It's the only way," Tinkerbell said sadly. "The only thing I can think of to do is ask Mother Superior for some Pixie Dust. I don't know if she has any, but if she doesn't I'm certain she could figure something out."
"Do it," Emma said quickly. "I don't care how we get him out, just go find that dust. I'm counting on you, Tink."
The fairy dimpled at her and disappeared.
SQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQ
The last thing he remembered was gazing up at the full moon before a miniature person with red hair made an appearance. Henry hadn't quite woken, but a maddening jig was haunting his dreams.
"Wake up, little prince!" Someone, or something taunted in his ear.
"Isn't he handsome?" another shrill voice commented.
"Oh yes, much more so than the last Dark One."
Henry's eyes flew open. He looked around wildly, and saw that he was in a small room of some kind. He remembered watching cartoons when he was younger of animals that lived in hollowed out tree trunks. He appeared to be in one now, as he was surrounded by glistening bark walls hung with flowered garlands. He lay on his back on top of a stone slab, his ankles and wrists restrained in vines.
"What is this?" he groaned, his voice throaty. Out of the corner of his eye he could make out two distinct figures with bright red hair. They were rather small—no larger than small children, really.
"Why, you're in the realm of ecstasy, my boy!"
"I can tell by his staring that he's never been with a woman… or man." The other one piped up.
Henry clenched his teeth. "I suggest you let me go. Do you know who I am?" Anger pulsed through his veins and for once he let it run its course. The dark void that he normally tried so hard to ignore closed in around him. He felt himself slip slightly at the edge of the abyss.
"Being the Dark One won't help you here, sweet child," one his captors cooed. "Not when the Queen wants to have her way with you. But I wouldn't worry. She's not selfish when it comes to these things. We Pixies exist solely to create pleasure, after all."
"You'll pay for this," the boy muttered. "It's not just me you have to worry about. My mom is crazy. Both of them."
SQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQ
While they waited for Tinkerbell's return, Emma made Regina back her Benz into the driveway while she magically repaired her mother's house. Grumbling, the dark witch appeased and when she returned to the blonde's side she made sure to shoot Snow White a death glare. "I hope you know you're never watching Henry again after this," she growled.
"Says the woman who let him slip away to Boston under her watch," Mary Margaret snapped.
"You know, my life would still be swell if you hadn't given him that stupid book to read in the first place. It's like you manage to ruin my life without even trying." Regina felt her skin tingle with angry dark magic.
"Well when it comes to ruining lives I learned from the best, didn't I?" Snow fired back.
"For crying out loud!" Emma groaned. "Will the two of you knock it off? It's been decades. DECADES. When are you going to let it go?"
Regina and Snow both opened their mouths furiously to reply, but were interrupted by Tinkerbell's timely arrival. "She had some!" the green fairy said brightly.
"Yippee," Regina muttered. She didn't want to think about the last time pixie dust had made it's way into her life.
Tinkerbell gave her a look that was a look. "I'll give it to Emma," she said slowly. "Let's hope her true love is nearby. The quicker we find him the quicker you get Henry back."
Without waiting for Emma to agree, she produced the green sparkling dust and let it run it's course. The air shimmered brightly like a million fallen leaves as the dust swirled and found its destination within seconds.
"…or her," Tinkerbell finished weakly. Regina and Emma were both covered in glittery Pixie Dust. The brunette felt a roaring sound in her ears begin to increase in volume as she slowly turned to the blonde, whose mouth was agape as she stared back at her through a shimmering green curtain.
"Tinkerbell," Regina said slowly. "Are you quite sure this is Pixie dust and not meth amphetamines?"
Tinkerbell blinked. "Look, Regina. Before you go nuts, hear me out—
"HEAR YOU OUT?" Regina bellowed. "Emma's right, to hell with true love! Are you out of your mind? First Daniel is my true love, then he dies and suddenly Robin Hood is my soul mate, and now you mean to tell me—" she sputtered incoherently before adding, "how many true loves can one person have?"
"Regina," Tinkerbell said in a small voice. "It's actually very uncommon for a person to have only one true love, especially in this world."
A dull thud sounded behind them. Mary Margaret had fainted. Emma blinked and went to kneel by her mother. "Ma," she murmered, trying to rouse her.
Regina pointed furiously at Emma, both of them still shimmering with green diamonds. "She's my enemy. My rival! The bane of my existence!"
"Come on, Regina," Emma muttered. "We're past that and you know it."
"But…" Regina fumbled. "Since when am I your true love?"
"Well, you all ready have a kid together, right?" Tinkerbell added hopefully. "For what it's worth, I think you make a lovely couple."
Regina tried to argue back by opening and closing her mouth, but no sound came out. Emma, unsuccessful in rousing her mother, shrugged and stood up. "I think one day we're all going to look back on this and laugh," she said. "Who knew Regina's baby mama drama could end up being a good thing, eh?"
"I can't believe you're being so blasé about this," Regina muttered.
"We're going to have to make the best of this Regina," Emma said, suddenly forceful. "While you're here losing your mind, our son is getting butt plugged by Pixies, remember?"
The mention of Henry brought Regina slowly back down to earth. Her emotions were swirling around inside of her, but right now she had to get them under control, for him. "Fine," she said coolly. "I almost forgot that this is probably the best day of your life anyway."
Emma rolled her eyes. "You and I are going to talk about this more while we look for moss facing north or whatever. It's a full moon, right Tink?"
The fairy nodded. "It certainly is."
"Right. Will you tend to my mother while I go pork your best friend, please?"
Regina, to her mortification, felt her face grow hot and a warmth ignite her core.
Tinkerbell nodded and giggled. "Of course, Sherriff. I'd take your horses if I were you. Pixies are quite fond of them and you'll need all the help you can get."
"Good. I can be Regina's naked fantasy on a noble steed," Emma replied as she grabbed the embarrassed brunette's hand and dragged her off.
SQSQSQSQSQSQSQS
The mayor sat with her wolf in Granny's Diner after closing time. The two of them were alone together, which was happening a lot more lately. She sipped her coffee absently.
"Look over there," Red pointed out the window and the Mayor followed her gaze. She saw Emma Swan and Regina Mills trotting along on their horses, clearly headed for the main path to the woods. They both looked rather solemn, or perhaps chagrinned. She couldn't tell. But Emma's sword was strapped to her back and Regina's spellbook hung in its leather strapped bag at her side. "Wonder what they're up to?" Riding hood wondered. "I bet it's got something to do with Henry."
"I should probably go find out," the mayor replied. She downed her decaf and pushed the door of the diner open. "Emma! Regina!" she called out to them as she darted forward. Emma's sharp ears seemed to pick up on her call first and she said something to Regina, who stopped as well.
The two of them turned their beasts around to face her as she strode up to them. "Is everything all right?"
"No," Regina answered immediately. Emma shot her a look. Something was odd about the distance the two women were putting between themselves. Normally they were perfectly comfortable getting in each other's personal space—usually to yell at one another.
"Sherriff?" the mayor turned to the blonde, who blew a strand of hair out of her face.
"We've got a problem. There are pixies in town and they kidnapped my son. Regina and I are going to rescue him."
"Why are there Pixies here?"
"Hell if I know," Emma sighed. "Because it's Storybrooke? Anyway, I'll report back to you when we return."
The mayor nodded. "Try to find out why they're here and what they want."
"Roger that, Madame Mayor. By the way," Emma unhooked something shiny from her side and let it hang down from her horse's mane in front of her. It was…
"Rumple's old watch. Neal left it for me when he bailed. I know I haven't gotten the chance to talk to you face to face much lately. Things have been quiet around here, up until now I guess. But I think it's time I gave it back to you."
Belle didn't miss the way Regina stared at the Sherriff as she took the pocket watch and fastened it to her belt. "Thanks, Emma. I still miss him every day. Don't you leave me too. You come back safe, understand? Both of you!"
Emma threw her a cocky grin. "Understood." She clucked her tongue. "Let's go find Henry, Paranoia."
The mare turned towards the woods and Regina looked back at Belle and nodded once before following.