"Today is the day," was Sharon's first thought as she reached out a hand to shut off her alarm. She had set the clock early so she could cook breakfast for Rusty. She might not be able to be with him, or control the operation today, but she could make sure he had enough protein to help him through the first part of his morning.
Rolling out of bed, she arched her back and moved her neck from side to side to loosen the muscles that were stiff after a full night of tossing and turning with no sleep. Yawning she threw her bathrobe on and padded towards the kitchen surprised when the smell of bacon and eggs hit her.
"Rusty?" she asked surprised when she saw him in front of the stove a spatula in his right hand.
"Hi" he said glancing over at her before flipping the eggs.
"The water is warm if you would like some tea,"
"Thank you. What are you doing up so early honey?" she asked walking over to the cabinet to grab a mug and chose a tea bag from her vast collection.
"I couldn't sleep and I heard you up several times last night so I knew you were probably nervous about today or having a nightmare. I thought maybe you'd feel better with breakfast,"
Sharon who had reached for the teakettle smiled at his thoughtfulness at the same time frowning since she had no idea he knew about the nightmares. She was surprised sometimes at how observant and perceptive he was.
"Rusty," she began seeing the worried look in his eyes and not quite knowing what to say.
"You don't need to hide that fact from me Sharon. I've known you've been having nightmares for the past few weeks and I think they're about this police operation"
Sharon hesitated for a moment before saying,
"I didn't mean to wake you, but yes, I'm a little concerned about you being on the streets,"
"Don't be. I want to help catch this guy and I'll be surrounded by officers"
Sharon merely nodded pouring water into her mug. She didn't want to annoy him by telling him how dangerous the streets were because she knew he had experienced that at a young age. She just wished there was a different way of catching this guy that was safer.
Watching as he spooned eggs and bacon onto two plates and set them on the table along with a small bowl of fruit, she sat down with him and the duo made an effort to eat although none of them were really hungry.
. . . . . . . . . .
At the precinct, Sharon watched Rusty from behind her desk in her office. He was dressed for his part in a white beater, worn jeans that hung two inches from his waist and a grey beanie. He listened while Leut Provinsa, and Leut Flynn explained what was expected of him once they arrived at their destination.
"He'll be fine Captain," Det. Sykes said from the doorway of her office.
Sharon smiled a sad smile, her eyes filling with tears and simply nodded her head. She forced all traces of worry from her face as Rusty came in, his hands in his pocket and an unsure look on his face.
"It's time," he said looking uncomfortably at her and then at the floor.
Sharon nodded and standing up she said,
"All I'm asking is that you do you're best to stay safe. If this letter writer comes out today, let the officers handle it and don't try and be a hero. You're only job is to stand there ok,"
Nodding his head, he said, "I will" before looking her in the eyes and walking out with Det. Sykes.
. . . . . . . .
Glancing at her watch, Sharon was dismayed to find only an hour had passed since she had last looked at it. Setting her pen down, she rubbed the spot between her eyes, and took another sip of chamomile tea hoping to calm the headache and the persistent anxiety that hadn't left since she had watched Rusty walk through the doors without her. He had been gone for almost three hours and she hadn't heard anything and it was killing her. Feeling eyes on her, she glanced up and noticed Provinsa looking at her from where he sat at his desk. Standing up, he walked towards her office,
"Captain, I could use a cup of coffee, lets go for a walk,"
Nodding her head she stood up, smoothed down her charcoal knee length skirt, and followed him. Leaving the murder room they headed down the hallway towards the break room where Provinsa poured himself a cup of coffee and offered some to her. Shaking her head with a small smile she leaned against the counter waiting to hear what he had to tell her.
"He's doing fine. Buzz text me saying they had arrested several perps but they were just solicitors, not our letter writer,"
"Please tell me they are booking them," she murmured wrapping her arms around herself. The thought of sick men coming to violate her son was not a relieving thought.
"They are," Provinsa replied soothingly.
"Listen, would it help you if we had Buzz connect the video feed to the monitor at your desk?"
"Yes," she automatically said her green eyes brightening at the idea.
"Ok, we'll have him set that up tomorrow,"
"Thank you," she replied before softly asking,
"How is Rusty handling being out on the streets?"
Provinsa just shrugged with a sad frown.
"You know how he is Captain. He's put up that wall and maybe it's for the better till this is all over,"
"I do know how he is, but emotionally he's been better. Talking to Dr. Joe has helped him and I don't want him to lose that. I'm worried this operation will become too much for him,"
"We'll monitor him and even have Dr. Joe come in to make sure he is doing ok. If you all think we need to pull him out, we'll do it. But honestly, I don't think it's going to be long till our letter writer shows,"
Smiling sadly, Sharon followed him back inside the murder room. A new case had come in and although it was difficult to concentrate on anything besides her son being used as bait, she needed to focus and close this case. Leaning against Sykes desk, she forced herself to listen as her detectives began to share their findings.
. . . . . . .
Re-reading the financial documents of their murder suspect, Sharon sighed when she realized that nothing she had read for the tenth time had actually stuck. Setting her pen down she leaned back in her chair glancing out her office window when she saw the door open and Rusty, Sykes, and Sanchez walk in. Feeling relief that he was back she stood up ready to greet him and see how he was truly doing.
Walking into the murder room she smiled as Rusty raised a hand to say hi and gave her a wary smile. He looked exhausted and subdued.
"How was it?" she asked glancing at the three of them.
Everyone shrugged but Sharon knew it hadn't been pleasant when Sanchez muttered,
"I never fully realized how many sick perverts there were wanting children out there,"
Syke's simple nodding of the head got to Sharon and putting a hand briefly on Rusty's shoulder she said,
"Come on, let's go home. We can order hamburgers on the way,"
Rusty was silent the entire car ride and at home he headed straight for the bathroom where he showered for quite awhile. During dinner he was polite but only answered Sharon's questions with short clipped answers. It bothered her and when she thought he wasn't looking she would glance over hoping to figure out his expression. She couldn't stop worrying if she was doing the right thing letting him be involved.
"Stop it" Rusty said out of the blue and Sharon turned to look at him.
"Stop what?"
"Stop worrying. I know you Sharon. I'm fine. Nothing happened. I just don't want to talk about it,"
"Would it help to talk to Dr. Joe?"
Sighing he looked down at his barely touched hamburger.
"Maybe,"
. . . . . . . .
The next couple of days went by uneventfully. Sharon monitored Rusty's every move on the street from her desk. She felt better seeing what he was experiencing. It never failed to surprise and sicken her the number of men that approached him. Each time though it turned out they were not the man the group was hoping to find.
Rusty seemed to be holding up, but each day Sharon noticed a weariness in his eyes. It was the same look of distrust and caution she had encountered when he had first started living with her. Even though he hadn't said he wanted to talk to him, she had extended an invitation to Dr. Joe for later this week so he could give his honest opinion on how he was really doing. She could only imagine the memories it was bringing up for Rusty and she knew he refused to tell her that part of his life.
Leaving her office to get an update on her squad's progress, she was surprised when she returned to find Sanchez and several other officers pulling a man off her son. Rusty struggled to sit up and Sharon noticed blood flowing from a cut near his eye.
"Leut Provinsa!" she yelled in horror, her body going into autopilot as she stood up, grabbing her purse and keys.
"Captain?" He asked with a confused look. In her office he glanced at his superior officer's panic stricken face and then the monitor. Pulling out his phone as it began to ring he listened briefly.
" Thank you Buzz we'll be there soon," turning to the Captain he said,
"He's ok. Det. Sykes is taking him to General Mercy Hospital. He needs stitches, has a black eye and a busted lip,"
The look on Sharon's face told him everything he needed to know.
"I'll drive,"
On the way to the hospital, Sharon alternated between anger and fear.
"This shouldn't have happened," she repeated over and over blaming herself for allowing him to participate.
Leut. Provinsa remained silent knowing nothing he said could make her feel better at this time. He had a feeling it was going to take some serious coaxing for him to persuade Sharon to allow Rusty to continue.
At the hospital, Det. Sykes took Sharon to where Rusty lay on the bed.
"I'm fine," he automatically said when he saw her, but didn't pull away when Sharon sat on the white sterile bed next to him and wrapped her arms around him. While waiting for his discharge papers she told Provinsa and the crew in no uncertain terms that he was not going back out tomorrow. Provinsa sighed but nodded his head. Once she was out of earshot, he turned to the team of undercover cops saying
"What the hell happened? Do you have any idea how long its going to take me to convince her to let him back out?"
"It just happened so fast," one of the younger detectives said rubbing the top of his head.
"We need to figure out a new plan. This can't happen again,"
"I've got to drive them back to the precinct, so let's meet in our conference room by seven. Amy find out everything you can about this guy. Hopefully it's our 'old friend' and there won't be any convincing to do,"
. . . . . .
Back in the safety of their home, Sharon ordered in a pizza and poured herself a glass of Riesling. Rusty lay silently on the couch an ice pack on his right eye. It was practically swollen shut and she winced knowing he had to be in pain.
" Are you ok? Is there anything I can get you?"
"You can let me back out on the streets tomorrow so I can catch that guy,"
"Out of the question. You are not going back out there until a new plan is made that would guarantee your safety,"
"But Sharon, I wasn't badly hurt," he whined sitting up onto his elbows and taking off the ice pack.
"A mild concussion, a black eye that is nearly swollen shut a busted lip and 10 stitches is no small injury young man," she replied bitterly.
"Well living our lives with the fear that someone could harm us, isn't exactly small either," he replied wincing in pain as he lay back against the couch pillow.
Sharon frowned at his pain but remained silent. She knew what he said was true and she wished more than once that she could be the person to trap this guy. Once Rusty was safely in bed, she called Leut. Provinsa and they discussed safer ways to supervise Rusty when he was out on the street. Sharon agreed to think about allowing him back out in a few days once she was sure the mild concussion was not a problem.
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. . . .. ..
The moment Sharon and Rusty walked into the precinct the next day, Sharon spotted both Chief Taylor and DDA Rios in her office. Sighing, she told Rusty to stay with the squad, straightened her shoulders, took a deep breath and prayed she would have the courage to deal with whatever was about to come her way.
"Good morning," she said with a polite smile as she set her purse in her desk drawer and sat down.
"How come no one told me about the incident that put my material witness in the hospital!? I told you this was not a good idea," Rios started.
"We need to call off this police stunt immediately before he gets really injured, or worse lying on a table in the morgue"
"We're this close to catching this creep," Taylor replied holding up a plastic sheet with another letter inside. Rios moaned out loud while Sharon swallowed hard feeling the start of a headache on the temporal side of her head.
"What does it say?" she asked her eyes falling on Rusty who was having his purple and swollen face examined by a sympathetic Leut. Flynn.
"Dear Sharon, Take the time to enjoy your last few precious days with Rusty. Sincerely an old friend."
Closing her eyes Sharon said, "He can't go back out there. This guy wants to kill him,"
Rios nodded her head in agreement. Her forehead creased with worry.
"He needs to be out there. We're so close to taking this guy down,"
"Look how much damage was done to him yesterday from someone who hasn't been threatening him for months. This guy writing the letters won't just beat him up Chief," Sharon replied clasping her hands together and bringing them to her lips something she did whenever she was worried.
"The only thing keeping Phillip in jail is Rusty. If we lose him, Phillip walks," Rios argued.
The three argued back and forth finally agreeing, since Rusty was nearly of legal age to let him decide. Standing up Sharon opened her office door calling him. He dutifully came over hoping he was not in trouble.
"How are you feeling?" Taylor asked.
Rusty merely shrugged and Taylor launched directly into the letter and what he would like to do. All eyes were on him after Taylor stopped speaking.
Sighing, he looked around the room.
"You all know what I'd like to do. Let's just catch this guy."
"Rusty, what if you die? Did you ever think of that? He'll walk." Emma said frustrated.
"Seriously? Don't you think I know that? It's not just me who is receiving threatening letters anymore. This guy is also targeting Sharon. I'm tired of living in a constant state of fear, wondering if today is the day this guy is going to come after one of us. I'd rather face him dead on and deal with it,"
Sharon couldn't help but smile at his tenacity and braveness.
Sighing, Emma nodded her head knowing he was right. It sucked and whether she wanted to admit it or not, she was growing fond of the kid. He wasn't so bad, he was just dealing with life as any teenager who was under lock and key and being threatened would.
"We'll discuss this more tomorrow. I agree with the captain that you should take the next few days off," with that Taylor left, leaving Emma, Sharon and Rusty.
"How is your head?" Sharon asked as Emma gathered her bags and followed Taylor out.
"Still hurts," Rusty replied with a shrug. He didn't like it when Sharon was too worried about him.
"You can have more Advil in another hour," she replied as he nodded his head and exited her office, heading to his cubicle where she knew he would pull out his chess board.
. . . . . . . .
Several hours later after interrogating a suspect in their current case, dealing with a few minor emergencies, and talking to their suspect's attorney, Sharon was ready to head home. Thanking her squad for a job well done, she headed towards her office to gather her stuff before getting Rusty.
"Captain, may I speak to you?" Flynn asked
"Sure," she replied turning to face him.
"I just wanted to know how you were doing? You never wanted Rusty to go out on the streets, he was injured yesterday and we all know how much you care for him"
Sharon's shoulders sagged.
"I'm coping,"
Dropping her gaze to the floor so he couldn't see the pain she knew was in her eyes, Sharon was surprised when he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her. She hesitated for a moment shocked before reciprocating the gesture.
"I've known you for a long time Sharon, and I know when you're not ok. Rusty will be fine. If it'll give you comfort, I'll make sure I'm stationed close to him. All of us love that kid as much as we love you."
Sharon nodded her head trying not to cry.
"I'm so worried Andy. I've been having nightmares about cradling his dead body after the action goes wrong. I love him like he was one of my own"
Andy nodded holding her tighter knowing she needed the comfort.
"Those are just anxiety dreams. I think you both need a break from this. How about I come over with Chinese take out and a comedy. It'll liven up the mood and maybe take both your minds off catching this guy.
Pulling away Sharon nodded her head.
"That sounds nice Andy. Just let me know when you are stopping by so I can inform the security detail,"
"seven sound good?"
"Sounds like a deal," she replied with the first real smile she'd had in months.
Andy's impromptu arrangement was exactly what the little family needed. Sharon was relieved to see Rusty laugh. She had only seen that once since he had started living with her. To see him completely relaxed made her smile and wonder what his personality would have been like if he'd had a mother who cared, hadn't abandoned him, and of course if he wasn't a witness. Sharon for her part felt relaxed in a way she hadn't since the letters had started coming in.
Leaning her head against the chair she was sitting in, she felt herself begin to doze off watching Rusty's interact with Andy. She wasn't sure how long she was out, but a hand on her shoulder caused her to wake.
"Sharon, How about you go to bed," Rusty said gently.
"You need to get some sleep too," she replied standing up and groaning at the stiffness in her limbs.
"I am," he said with a carefree smile that warmed Sharon to the core.
Walking Andy to the door, Sharon gave him a hug thanking him for such a pleasurable evening.
"Any time Sharon. Listen, if you all are in need of more evenings like this, just ask. The team and I are all here for you,"
Nodding her head she watched him leave grateful for such a great squad.