Dark Element
Life for Life

A dark world leads to the discovery of an Ancient long imprisoned by his own people. The team is placed in grave danger when Beckett sets him free.

The room was nearly black save for a single light shimmering outside the cells, ghostly and pale in color. Chill as death, the dark room held him in its somber embrace. It felt like a tomb to the weary mind of Carson Beckett. He sat with his back against the bars of his cell. They were hard, inhospitable and cold. Yet those small things didn't deter him. He was touching something, feeling something other than the stark air. The bars served as a reminder that he was not alone, a double-edged sword that brought him both comfort and grief in the same blow. He did not want his friends to be here in this hell with him.

But if he had been left here alone…

Carson shivered in the inky shadows that caressed him. Across the cell, still lying on the floor where he had fallen, was John. He had not awakened since the doctor pulled himself out of his own painful torpor. Those hazel eyes were closed to the horror surrounding them and Carson envied him for being able to escape the fear.

He could feel the fear pounding through him with every breath he took. Whatever Aerien was doing, it was causing the doctor's body serious complications—both emotional and physical. He didn't know much about physics or the manipulation of energy, and so couldn't hazard a guess as to what was really going on with him. But he could feel himself winding down. It was like a tug on his clothing, warning him in whispers that he could not survive this forever.

A noise drew him out of his somber thoughts. It was a soft whimper, nothing more. Carson looked up at the man across from him. John still was not moving. If he could just pull himself together for a few minutes…

Carson placed shaking hands on the cold floor and eased himself up so he could crawl across the room. He wasn't sure he would make it if he stood, to be honest. Even now he could feel the weakness threatening to stop him. But he had to move; he couldn't let John suffer alone. And so he forced himself forward until he could reach the prone body lying in the glow of light bleeding through the window.

He took the Colonel's wrist in his hands and felt for a pulse with numbing fingers. He could feel it, but just barely. Was that because it was weak or because he was too weak to feel it? Carson sighed in frustration, putting his hand on John's forehead. It was cool. "Aye, lad, what's he done ta ya?" he whispered.

This was the part in all the good movies where his friend was supposed to take a sudden breath and answer him with a quip. John remained deathly silent and unmoving. Carson watched those pale features for any sign of consciousness, and as the moments ticked on he realized the Colonel was not going to make a fast recovery in time to banish all his worries. Life didn't work out that way.

There was nothing he could do without his tools. Nothing except put a reassuring hand on his friend's arm. "I know it ain't much, son, but I'm here."

"How touching." The sardonic voice jarred Carson. He had not known he was being observed. Throwing a look at the window, he saw Aerien watching with a derisive expression. Those pale eyes shimmered eerily in the near black atmosphere of the room. "You would push yourself within an inch of death to save him, wouldn't you?"

"O'course I would," Beckett heard himself hiss, and was surprised he had the strength to sound so angry. He glared at the Ancient as he hovered there by the window. Aerien opened the cell door. Carson jerked back in fear, but remained at his friend's side as their captor approached. "Don't," he said in low tones. "Don't touch him. Leave him be."

The Ancient crouched on the opposite side of Sheppard, still watching, unperturbed by the doctor's words. "This is why I chose you." He took on a thoughtful look, pulling Sheppard's shirt back to reveal his livid wounds. Carson saw the stitches and inhaled a sharp breath. Blood leaked from the cuts gently. Aerien used the torn edge of the black shirt to wipe it away as he continued to talk. "Aila was like you. She thought she could heal the universe."

Carson set his jaw, looking anywhere but into the Ancient's eyes. "I know I can't do that," he retorted in bitter, biting tones. It was all still there, the expanse of darkness he had been shown. Carson Beckett was a born doctor. From a young age it had been in him to heal, whether with kind words, putting a band-aid on his mother's finger, or pulling a thorn out of a stray puppy's paw. When McKay bragged too much about his intelligence, Carson would return with the idea that it was he that had been destined bring hope to those that had none, through his art of healing. The other man would roll his eyes and the doctor would laugh.

Aerien had shown him the enormous suffering in the universe. Everything Carson would never be able to heal and how futile it was to try. And everything he had ever done to bring more suffering into the lives of others. The retrovirus. Perna. His failure with Aiden. Every time his bravery had failed him and someone had gotten hurt. Everything that haunted his dreams at night.

"So, what happened ta Aila?" he asked, surprised that he actually cared. He couldn't imagine this man loving anyone or anything but himself, and that went ten times over the idea that someone could have cared for Aerien in return.

There must have been something there. He could see sorrow flicker and die in those pale eyes. "She didn't survive. Since then I've learned how to prolong life during these little experiments."

The doctor's stomach tightened at the implications. He stared at the other man as if seeing him for the first time. "Ya did this ta her? Ya made her suffer like this, and yet ya claim ta have some sorta affection for her?" A wave of nausea passed through him. His face grew hot despite the cold in the room.

"I loved her," Aerien stated simply, as if there was no room for argument. A wan smile crossed his lips. "She didn't think my ambitions were very wise. She just couldn't understand what I was trying to do."

"Yer a madman," Carson breathed, closing his eyes as if to blot out the terrible things he was being exposed to. When he opened them again his gaze fell on John's face. "Fine. So ya want ta hurt me. Why him? Why did ya make him do what ya did?"

The Ancient cocked his head. "I needed a conduit. Don't worry, Beckett. As much as I loathe using McKay with his false gene, I see I cannot use Sheppard again any time soon. Unfortunately, I believe you may be dead by the time he has recovered enough, and so he is safe from my oh-so-terrible plans to steal your energy." His voice dripped with sarcasm as he straightened and moved to stand near John's head. To the doctor's horror he knelt so he could take the Colonel by the shoulders.

Putting his hand on his friend to keep him steady, Beckett hissed, "What d'ya plan on doin' ta him, then, if he's supposedly safe?"

"I didn't say he was safe," Aerien laughed darkly. He stood, bringing Sheppard up with him to drag back out of the cell. "I said he was safe from my plans to steal your energy. That doesn't mean I am going to let a good resource go to waste."

Carson stood with him, trying to take his friend back from the grip of darkness. The Ancient watched his actions curiously, as if observing a child, then took swift action. A fist slammed into the doctor's jaw, sending him sprawling to the ground in his weak state. Dizzy, sick, and exhausted, Carson listened a moment as John was removed from the cell.

When Aerien returned he did not appear angry. The doctor sat up just as he reentered the cell, and backed up against the bars again as Aerien stalked towards his prey. He crouched down, setting a case on the floor and opening it. "You're in pain," he said gently, reaching for Beckett.

"Don't," Carson gasped as those cold hands fell on him. He tried in vain to back away, only to find those cold, solid bars holding him forward so the Ancient could torment him. Aerien pressed his cheek to one side, exposing his throat as he removed a syringe from his case. He shoved at the iron hold even as the edge of the needle sliced through his skin, into the carotid artery. There were more nerves around the arteries than veins, and the forceful pressure made him cry out. The sound filled the small cell, reflecting back at him mockingly.

When it was done Aerien pressed his finger to the spot, closed his eyes and remained still for a long time. Carson fumbled, searching for the needle as the Ancient concentrated on his task. Aerien took no notice, which fed the doctor hope that he could do something to stop this psychopath from hurting his friends. But just as his fingertips brushed against what he thought was the round girth of the syringe a hand whipped out and struck his away.

Aerien opened his eyes with a smile. "You would do anything to save them, wouldn't you?" he asked, removing his finger from Carson's throat.

The doctor raced his hand up to stay the inevitable bleeding only to find there was none. "What did ya do ta me?"

"Answer my question and I might answer yours."

Beckett knit his brow, glaring at the other man as he growled, "Ya know damn well I would do anythin' ta save 'em! Does it give ya some sorta sick pleasure ta hear it?" He groaned as Aerien gripped his jacket and shoved him hard against the bars, knocking his head back in a vengeful reply.

"Understand this, Beckett," Aerien said, his demeanor now deadly, "Sheppard's hours are numbered. McKay's hours are numbered. I have a universe of subjects to study. None of you are irreplaceable. You say you would do anything to save them, yes? Tell me, do you have the stomach to truly go through with your word? Would you give your soul to save them as I have given mine to save countless millions?" He shoved Carson again. "No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't willfully harm a single being to save a galaxy. You simply could never do what it truly takes to save all those you love because you're unwilling to travel the hard, painful road it takes to get to the end of that goal. Would you kill McKay if it would save Sheppard?"

"Yer talkin' crazy," Carson scoffed, grabbing at Aerien's wrists to keep him from pushing him back again.

The Ancient laughed at him. "Oh, if only it were that easy. This is why I chose you, Beckett. Your innocence and your fear of the darkness. But I'm going to leave you with this thought. You could save them both by helping me."

"Liar."

Aerien let go of his lapels, standing over his captive, that same quiet dignity that all Ancients possessed overriding the anger. "You're dying slowly, Beckett. That is what I have done to you. Ask yourself now if you have the time to question the truth of what I have offered. Their lives for your life. The pain could end for all three of you. Do you have the strength to do what it takes to save them, or is your life truly as meaningless as you fear? The drug I have given will make your passage from this world into energy easier. Unfortunately, it also works as a neurotoxin, so you see you no longer have time to deliberate. You're going to die. But will it have meaning?"

Aerien took his case and stalked out of the cell, then out of the lab. He doused the single lamp that had been glowing, leaving his captives in complete darkness save the dim shine of the terminal. And then Carson was alone again.

The Ancient's words echoed through him. Their lives for your life. He could do that. He could give his life for theirs. At least it would be something against the tide of suffering the universe held in it. But what would helping Aerien mean in the long run? He felt so confused, and his head throbbed even worse than before. It was so cold in here.

Letting out a sigh, Carson wrapped his arms around himself, trying desperately to keep warm and calm. He could feel every inch of his body shaking and his heart pounding in his chest. And his head… He was so dizzy that each move he made brought with it the threat of emptying his already considerably hollow stomach. He could taste the sickly sweetness of bile in the back of his throat.

A noise from behind drew his attention. The doctor took a shuddering breath and wiped the sweat from his face. A curse broke the quiet, letting Carson know that McKay was awake and blundering through the dark. He listened as his friend crouched down nearby. McKay whispered, "Carson? Colonel?" His voice was harsh and tired.

"I'm here," Carson replied, turning instinctively towards him. "I'm here, lad"

"Carson? I can't see a damn thing. Sheppard in there with you?"

"He's out there." Carson glanced in the direction of the wan glow bleeding through the window.

There was another curse, then a question the doctor had wanted to avoid. "Are you all right?"

"F-fine." It was a lie, but it came so naturally to the tip of his tongue. There was nothing McKay could do but worry, anyway. He tried to stifle another shudder as he asked, "What about you? What did that monster do to ya?"

There was a telltale quiet that made the doctor sigh. Rodney wasn't one to let out his emotions without a good fight to keep them locked away. That he didn't say something sarcastic right off the bat didn't bode well. "He ah, cut my arm up with that friggen scalpel and I don't really want to get into that if it's all the same to you. I mean, damn, I knew he was messed up, but well, you know." He was rattled.

Carson could well understand why. He turned to face the other man, saying softly, "Let me see." The dim illumination masked his friend from much of his view, but if he tried he could make out the barest hint of features. He could see the pain in those eyes as McKay eased his arm through the bars for examination.

Carson couldn't see any details of the wound, but the difference between his friend's pale skin and the red river covering torn pieces of flesh was apparent right away. It was everywhere. "What'd he do ta ya? All this with a scalpel?"

The scientist made a bitter noise. "And you know, his hands and nails. God, I'm gonna get gangrene and die in here. And um, I think he put something in my arm."

The implications of that floored Carson. "Lad," he breathed, shaking his head. "Ya've got ta wrap it. Keep it from bleedin'."

"Yeah, but that's going to hurt." McKay gulped. "And what's this 'me' stuff. You're the doctor."

The physician lifted his bloodied fingers to show his friend. "It's got ta be done. I'll help ya. Tear off some o'your shirt, there."

It was slow business. McKay couldn't tear the material very easily, and when he finally did, each loop around his sore arm made him jerk away. About halfway through Carson felt the burden of his exhaustion hit full on. He held to Rodney's wrist a moment, shirt in hand, trying to muster his strength again.

Rodney hissed in a breath when the doctor prodded his wounds accidentally. "Geez! What the…Carson?"

He wanted to say something, to apologize, but a wave pain running through his head kept him quiet. His grip on McKay's arm tightened without his meaning to. The doctor barely even registered when Rodney took him by the shoulder. "Carson, you're shaking like a jackhammer. What's wrong?" Alarm laced that usually sarcastic voice.

"Don'…don' worry about it," the doctor replied through a trembling voice. He turned away as his eyes watered, not wanting to show his friend his weakness. Why did this have to be so hard?

There were now two hands on him, prodding his shoulders, gauging how bad the tremors were. "Don't worry about it?" Rodney's tone was unbelieving. "You're scaring the hell out of me. Carson, I've been your friend since we started this expedition. You owe me honesty. Now tell me what's going on."

"I…I don' f-feel myself, lad," he stumbled through a reply, curling into himself. The pain lancing through his spine won a hard groan from him. "Ugh. It hurts so bad."

His muscles ached like nothing he had ever felt before, locked in tension he couldn't break. Yet he couldn't stop shifting, couldn't stop trembling. Panic rose up in him as wave after agonizing wave of pain seared through his head, each more brutal than the last. He wasn't going to make it through this. It was beyond his ability to endure. "R-Rodney?" He could still feel his friend's hands on his shoulders, the only bit of warmth in this room of ice. It gave him some small comfort as he gathered his thoughts. "T-tell my mother…"

"No!" Rodney hissed before he could finish his sentence. The harshness of the sound made the doctor wince. "Don't you say it, Carson, don't you dare say it! You just told me not to worry about it. Well, you're making me worry about it, so stop!"

"Rodney, he poisoned me." He didn't mean to just say it, but the knowledge was cutting him, and he couldn't just pass on here in front of his friend's face without telling him certain things. He didn't know how long he had, no matter what Aerien had said about it being slow.

McKay was silent for what seemed forever, then mumbled, "What?"

Carson took a labored breath. "He s-said he poisoned m-me."

"Well, he's lying." It sounded so simple to McKay. Of course the Ancient was lying. Of course he wasn't going to watch the doctor die right here in front of him. Beckett suppressed a moan, wishing it were the truth.

"Even were he lyin'," he said softly, then paused to catch his breath before going on, "he s-said I could save ya both b-by lettin' 'im t-take me…"

He could feel the tremors of Rodney shaking his head firmly. "No. He's using your compassion against you. Don't let him lie to you like that. You don't know what he'll do if he consumes your power. Hell, I don't know and I'm supposed to be the expert on energy here. He's crazy and logically cannot be trusted, do you hear me? Don't give in to that. And you're not dying."

"Lad, I…canna s-stop…sh-shaking. The p-pain." Carson shuddered against the bars, unable to continue. "Y-you've been a good… R-Rodney?"

And then suddenly he was warm. An arm wrapped around his shoulder, pulling him closer. "We're gonna get through this. You're not gonna die," McKay told him.

The doctor let out a cry and tried to double over, but Rodney held him that much harder to keep him grounded. Carson's hand found the scientist's uninjured arm and squeezed as he continued speaking in soft tones, "Just stay calm. You know I'm always right, right?"

"A-aye." Carson knit his brow, feeling hot tears slide down his cheeks unwillingly. He didn't care; couldn't care. The pain was too great, the emptiness welling inside him too vast. He felt as if he could slip away at any moment.

McKay rested his cheek against his friend. "Then you trust me when I say this is gonna pass. He needs you, Carson, so he won't let you just die. We'll get through it minute by godforsaken minute if we have to. You just don't give up, you understand?"

Carson nodded weakly, still holding onto McKay's arm. He didn't know if Rodney understood his agreement, didn't know if he could keep the promise he had just made by making such a simple gesture. It felt as if he were being torn from the inside out, and blessed peace, any peace seemed tempting no matter what bargain he had to make to get it. Rodney was trying to talk to him, trying to tell him about something or other from his college days, but Beckett couldn't focus enough to pay attention. Aerien's words echoed through his thoughts too loudly.

Their lives for your life. Choose death. At the moment he wasn't so sure it was a choice as much as inevitability, however. Being a doctor gave many great rewards. It also gave one the knowledge of just how much the human body could take before it simply gave up.

Thanks, again, for the wonderful reviews! I'm glad you guys like+hands out Rodney shaped cookies this time+.