Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. So we are nearing the end. I thought this was going to be the last chapter, but it was starting to become very long and I decided to make two chapters out of it.
Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles
CHAPTER 16
"Martin Brandell?" The scarred young child looked up at him, his blue eyes searching, searching for love, care, trust, but more than anything, searching for a place to belong, for a place to feel like he was wanted and worth something. "I'm Dr. Pierce, but you can call me Ben."
Marty pushed some of his messy curls out of his face, revealing a black eye that had been given to him by a man who would no longer be in his life. "It's Marty." He said back.
"I hear you like to surf, Marty." Dr. Pierce said.
"Yeah, but my Dad got mad and broke my board." Marty replied. His voice was shaky and his hands were trembling.
"What else did your Dad do?" He asked Marty.
"He..." Marty looked up at him, reluctant to answer. "Nothing, he didn't do anything."
"Now that's not true is it, Marty?" He continued to pry. He was determined to get through to Marty, to get him to open up about shooting his Dad and the moments that lead up to it.
Deeks remembered back to the first time he met Dr. Pierce. He didn't like him at first, but there was something about him that was different than the other doctors that social services tried to get him to talk to after shooting his father when he was eleven years old. He was a very unconventional shrink. Some days they would talk at his office and some days they would talk at the beach after surfing together. Sometimes they would talk over lunch. He was very patient with him and never pushed him to hard to talk. He was the only doctor that Deeks had ever really been able to open up to. He didn't want to talk about his recent torture, but Kensi was right. He had to talk to someone. So he talked. He told everything to Dr. Pierce.
Talking about his ordeal helped significantly. He felt so much more at ease once he got everything out in the open. Dr. Pierce taught him several ways to help himself deal with the memories and the nightmares. He wanted to get Deeks to function without medications, as addiction was a serious worry. He and his team of nurses and doctors taught Deeks how to cope with the pain, how to fight the need for drugs.
Once Deeks could fight the need for the drugs, he slowly started realizing that he wasn't in the pain that he thought he was. His wounds were actually healing, though he still had some gnarly scars.
His team, his family, had all visited over the last month, but not as often as he would have liked. They had cases that got in the way, important cases. A few were matters of national security. That was what Hetty had told him anyways. She had visited him the most.
On her last visit, Hetty left Deeks with a special envelope. She told him to open it after she left, because it's contents should be kept personal and it's contents were not really any of her business. Ok, she did take a peek inside, but she didn't tell Deeks that.
Deeks sat in what had become his favorite chair on the large patio of the facility. He had the perfect view of the beach and the beach was the one place he had yet to make peace with. He often came to this chair to read or to watch the sunset. He pulled the envelope out from his pocket and noticed his name on the front of it in Kensi's handwriting. He opened it and pulled out a picture.
The picture was a selfie. Kensi stood with a smile on her face and a beach in the background. Their were waves on the water and Deeks imagined they probably would have made for the perfect surf. The lighting was just right and she looked like the rays of the sun behind her were emanating from her body. On the back of the picture she had written "Can't say where we are right now, but you would love the waves here. Perfect for surfing. Hope to see you soon, partner." She had signed her name as well.
Surfing...something Deeks hadn't done since before he was taken and tortured. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to go back to the beach without thinking about the events that happened, without picturing the man that had taken him. Now, whenever he sat, looking out to the beach he couldn't help but smile as he pictured Kensi with the waves crashing behind her. Now he couldn't wait to get back to the beach, but he would wait. He wanted her to be there with him.
"Be honest, Dr. Pierce, how has he been recovering?" Hetty asked about Deeks. She sat in Dr. Pierce's office sipping some chai tea. It was a delicious mixture and she was a little surprised when the doctor had offered it to her. Apparently, he was quite the connoisseur of tea much like she herself was. She was worried about her liaison officer and was wondering if his recovery was going well and also if he might be returning to work soon. It had been almost two months since he was admitted with Dr. Pierce. Kensi was going crazy without her partner and she didn't take well to the temp that came in to work in his place.
Dr. Pierce set his tea glass down, a serious look forming on his face. "I was worried about Marty when he first arrived. He's a hard person to crack open. While he can talk your ear off for hours, it's hard to get him to be real serious and open up."
"That doesn't exactly answer my question Doctor." Hetty replied. Her look turned serious as well.
"Yes, I'm getting there." He explained. "He's opened up to me about a lot of things; about his abuse as a child, about the torture, about his partner. He's been through something very traumatic and I was very worried about a possible addiction. We caught him soon enough and were able to nip that addiction in the butt so to speak once we got his head clear. He's still a little restless when he sleeps, but I have a feeling he knows just what will help that. He's found a reason to keep fighting. It's not my place to discuss what that reason is, but I think he can return to work in the next few weeks. Mentally, he's in a very good place now. All that remains physically are some scars, mostly on his back."
Hetty finally let out a deep breath. She hadn't even been aware that she was holding it in. She relaxed in her chair as relief washed over her. "That is definitely good news." She said, letting out a small smile. She took a sip of tea and was grateful that Dr. Pierce could get Deeks to open up and let it all out.
"I'd say, he can probably go home by the end of the week." Dr. Pierce replied. "I'd like to see him back here a few times, maybe once or twice a month over the next few months, so long as his caseload allows just to make sure he's still doing well."
"Of course Doctor. I'll make sure he has time for that." Hetty hoped that Deeks would be ok when he returned home. She wasn't sure how hard it would be for him to return to the place he was taken. If there were any issues though, she would call Dr. Pierce and talk it over with him. Hell, she'd even consider moving Deeks into another apartment if she had to.
After chatting just a bit longer, Hetty headed into the dining room where Deeks was seated at a table finishing some lunch that she had brought for him. It was from his favorite little taco stand near Santa Monica Pier. She sat across from him at the table. "How was your lunch, Mr. Deeks." She asked.
"Good, real good. Thanks!" He replied with a small smile. He pushed his taco wrappers aside so that there was nothing but air between the two of them.
"Dr. Pierce said that you should be able to leave by the end of the week." She informed him. The surprised look on his face told her that he didn't realize he would be leaving soon. "How do you feel about that?"
He thought carefully before giving an answer. "Well, I do miss my bed." He joked and that was all he could come up with. He knew that going home meant that he had to cope on his own, that he had to bounce back into reality, and he wasn't sure he was ready for that.
"I'm being serious, Mr. Deeks." Hetty folded her hands in front of her on the table and her eyes bore into Deeks and he knew that he had to put the jokes aside and be honest.
"I guess I'm a little scared to be on my own again." He answered truthfully.
"Ah, but you won't be on your own." Hetty explained. "You have a whole team behind you and when you feel like you need someone, you can always come to one of us. I'm certain there is at least one specific agent, who would be there for you in a heartbeat."
Deeks eyes lit up when that last line came out of her mouth. He immediately thought about Kensi. She had visited as often as she could, as well as the rest of the team, but they had yet to talk about what happened between them at Deeks apartment when they shared those passionate kisses and nearly made love with one another. They never really had a chance to talk about it because every time Kensi came, someone else on the team usually tagged along with her.
Last time Kensi had visited, Sam was with her. Deeks had noticed an attitude change in Sam. He was a bit friendlier then normal and didn't tease the detective as much as he usually did. He felt something from Sam that he never really remembered before. He felt respected. He felt like an equal.
"You're right, Hetty." Deeks replied. His smile faded when he realized that she was watching him very seriously. "I guess I've never really been used to having so many people around me that want to help me."
"Well, that's what family is supposed to do isn't it? Be there for the ones they care about and offer a helping hand when the other is in duress?" Hetty asked.
Deeks had a puzzled look on his face. "I don't know, I mean my family doesn't have the best track record and they didn't exactly set the best example either."
"Don't you worry Mr. Deeks, we'll take good care of you." She replied with a smile.
"Hey there Shaggy." Sam snuck up behind Deeks, catching him off guard. He nearly jumped from his chair on the patio, the book he was reading flying through the air. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Sam hadn't realized how engrossed in his book that Deeks was.
Deeks regained his composure and reached for his book. "I wasn't scared, I...I just, it's ok." He stammered, wanting to argue with Sam, but who would he have been kidding? Sam took a seat next to him. "Where's Kensi?"
"My not good enough for you?" Sam asked, pretending to feel hurt by the question.
"I guess you'll do for now, but you're not exactly my type." Deeks shot back.
"Come on, who doesn't love tall, dark, and handsome?" Sam joked. They both laughed a minute before Sam explained that Kensi was back at ops finishing some paperwork. "I hear you get outta here at the end of the week?"
"Yeah, I guess." Deeks replied. He didn't seem all that excited about it.
"You coming back to work soon?" He asked. He kind of missed having the shaggy detective around. Of course, he couldn't bring himself to actually say so. "It hasn't been the same without you."
"Deeks let out a smirk. "Did tough as nails Sam Hanna just admit that he missed me?"
"No, I..." Sam argued.
"I think you did." Deeks said back.
"No, it's Kensi." Sam tried to turn the tables and pin it all on Kensi. "She's been crazy since you've been gone. She isn't getting along with the temp that Hetty brought in."
"Hetty told me she brought in a temp."
"Yeah and he's too serious for even Callen and I." Sam thought the guy was a decent agent, but the man was very rigid and stiff. He was very serious and did his job to the letter. Any time either of them took part in their typical office banter, he would spout out something about them keeping their personal lives personal. At work, they shouldn't be talking about anything that didn't have to do with the job or the current cases. It definitely irked Sam and he couldn't wait to get Deeks back, even if Deeks did talk a little too much.
"You trying to say you miss me again?" Deeks was kind of glad to see that Sam wasn't happy with the new guy.
"Ok, yeah...I miss you just a little bit." Sam indicated how much he missed him with his hands, holding his fingers so far apart. You couldn't even fit a piece of paper between his fingers.
The next few days went by rather slow for Deeks. The anticipation of leaving was eating him up inside. On one hand, he was anxious to be free. He was anxious to sleep in his own bed and maybe work up the courage to talk to his partner about their 'thing' and what happened in his apartment. On the other hand, he was a little worried about returning home and returning to the place he was taken. He was finally getting a hold on his memories and his nightmares, and he didn't want anything to hinder that and set him back.
Finally the morning came where he would finally have his freedom. Kensi promised to be there to take him home and for once, she would be alone. Perhaps they could finally talk. He quickly packed up his duffle bag and finished his breakfast. He talked with Dr. Pierce one last time and scheduled an appointment to meet back with the doctor in a few weeks. Then he sat anxiously on the couch in the common room, tapping his leg up and down as he waited. Reruns of Judge Judy played on the tv and he couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the current case. He loved how Judge Judy always knew how to put the defendants in their place.
Kensi parked and took in a few deep breaths before heading inside to find Deeks. She was actually a little nervous about being alone with him. They hadn't had a chance to talk about their 'thing' yet and she suspected things might be a little awkward between them.
Once inside, it wasn't hard to spot Deeks and she couldn't help but notice how his face lit up when he saw her. She was dressed a little nicer than usual, in dark jeans and a very girly, almost dressy top. Her makeup was a little more done than usual and she was just glowing in Deeks' opinion. "You didn't dress up for me did you?" He asked without even greeting her properly.
She rolled her eyes at him. "How about a hello or something first and I didn't dress up. I got up this morning and put clothes on like a normal person." She argued.
"No, you don't normally dress like that. I really like this look. It's sexy!" Deeks replied with one of his trademark grins.
"Ugh, get your head out of the gutter Deeks." Kensi snapped at him. In all honesty though, she did dress a little nicer than usual. She didn't realize she was doing it until she took one last look in the mirror before she left the house. She quickly changed the subject. "So do you need to sign out or something before we go?"
"Already done, princess." Deeks replied with a smile. "We're all clear." He stood and threw his bag over his shoulder.
"Good." Kensi turned and headed towards the car and Deeks followed. When they reached the car, she turned and faced him from the drivers' sided as he loaded his bag into the backseat of the passenger side. "Oh, I got those doughnuts from that little bakery near your apartment that you like."
Deeks looked confused for a second. "You mean that bakery that you like?"
"Hey, you said you liked the doughnuts there too." She shot back as she climbed into the car.
Deeks really didn't like the doughnuts there. He only said he did because he knew Kensi would hassle him if he said he didn't. So, he put on a smile and thanked her for the doughnuts. "Thanks for going out of your way to get these." He climbed in next to Kensi and she started driving
They both sat in silence for a good part of the drive to his apartment. The air between them felt awkward and neither really knew what to say. Deeks couldn't take it anymore though. If they were going to sort their 'thing' out, they needed to work on their communication and one of them finally had to break the silence. He decided it was going to be him. "Kensi, I think we need to talk."
She glanced at him curiously, wondering if this would be the talk. "You mean about us?" She asked back.
He nodded. "About us, about our 'thing.' Do we even have a thing? There's just so much to say and so much take in. I love you Kensi Marie Blye." That last part came out before he could even realize what he was saying, but it was the truth and there was no taking it back. He loved her and wasn't going to keep it in any longer, even if it meant shouting it from the rooftops.
Sorry for the cliffhanger of sorts. I hate to do that to you, but I haven't quite finished the next chapter yet. Sadly, the next chapter will be the last. Please review. Thanks!