Oops… so yeah, I haven't updated in forever. Awful English, I know. I suck. Anyway, how bad is this, I actually had to read my own story to know what to write the next chappie about. So, where did I leave off? Oh yeah, Izzy had just dragged Jace to Clary's apartment where she had been playing the show must go on. What is going to happen next? Hopefully this will be a good one! Amber will be making her reappearance in this chappie, and if you haven't read All the Moons Under the Sun (she's not the same character, she's just the same relationship to Jace) you'll find out exactly who she is. Language is a little obscene in this chapter (sorry, I've tried to use abbreviations where possible)

"Jace" she spat, clenching her teeth together. What on earth was he doing in her apartment, intruding on her private business? It was bad enough that he had appeared in her hospital room (she was sure the media was having a field day with that one) and now he was in her apartment! Who did he think he was?

"Take a chill pill woman." Isabelle sighed. "I invited him here. I'm sick and tired of you two pretending like you can just forget who you are. You" she said, poking Jace in the chest "need to get off your arse and stop pretending that being a model was the career you dreamed about and start playing god damned music again. And Clarissa, stop this bad girl I'm not hurting or broken hearted act and actually admit that you still effing love him!"

Clary staggered backwards (metaphorically) and took in a deep breath to school her thoughts. "I don't love him." she said quietly. "I loath him. He ruined my life, and he is continuing to ruin it. I don't want him to have any part in my life Izzy. Get him out. And if you won't, I'm sure one of the boys will be happy to oblige." As if to prove her point, one of her friends stood from his position behind the drums, flexing his muscular arms.

"Just wait a minute Clarissa." The bastard was actually attempting to talk to her? "I think that I should at least get the chance to speak. To say what I think."

"See, one of you has sense."

"F off Izzy" she sighed.

"I'm going for coffee. You two idiots are coming with me. Don't even think about using the accident as an excuse Clarissa. That's what your crutches are for."

The coffee shop only had a four group empty, so Clary and Izzy slid into chairs whilst Jace ordered their drinks. Clary hadn't spoken since she left her apartment, and she had her back turned to Izzy now. When she wanted to strop, the girl could strop. Jace had struck up a conversation with the girl making the coffee, and she was scribbling something furiously on a napkin. Clary suspected it was her number. Well, she was welcome to the bastard.

"Stop being so moody. I'm doing this for your own good. Ever since you let that boy get away you've been a pain in the arse to deal with. Random hook-ups, broken hearts and this stupid belief you seem to have that you can't trust anyone. Don't think I haven't noticed Clarissa. You've never trusted me since you two broke up. Now, I don't know the ins and outs of what happened, but what I do know is that you need to get over yourself and realise that you have a chance at being happy for once." Izzy scowled and sighed when Clary made no move to respond.

But then she spoke.

"And have my heart broken all over again? To end up married to an unfaithful dickhead who's greatest passion is to conquest yet another girl? Because that is what he does Izzy. He picks you up and throws you back in the dirt when he's got what he wants."

"Clary…"

"Don't Clary me Izzy. I'm done. Done with him. I just want that bastard out of my life. Why can't he just leave me alone?"

"If that's what you really want, I'll go." Jace said quietly from behind her, his eyes sad and full of rejection.

"Jace don't… are you happy Clary? That's another heart you've ruined." Izzy jumped out of her seat and stormed out after him.

When Clary dragged herself and her casts up to her apartment, there was a girl leaning against the door, cigarette held elegantly between her fingers, lightly smoking. She had a full head of blonde hair, and sparkling blue eyes, with an icy hard edge.

It was the girl. The girl that started everything, who had been with her boyfriend that fateful day. Clary wondered if she still felt the ghost of his lips on her cheek, the phantom weight of his arms embracing her. The sweet husk of his voice in her ear.

The girl took a drag from her cigarette.

"Well" she said, "you're a sight to see aren't you. I must say, the run over by a bus look just doesn't suit you at all. Well, actually, I don't really care, because in my opinion you're a bit of a heartless bitch aren't you? And no, I'm not your conscience, here to give your pretty little ass a good kicking.

"I'm here because you screwed my brother over. Twice. Now, the first time, I was willing to let it happen- after all, my brother is a bit of a dick. But this time, you've gone too far. He loves you bitch, and the more you push him away the less likely you are ever going to realise that you two have a chance at something great. Now, I know that my brother doesn't have the best rep when it comes to women, but when it's real, you'll do anything not to screw it up. So get your precious little head out of your own backside and fess up to my brother that you love him too still."

Those icy eyes drilled straight into Clary.

"Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me that you don't love Jace, and I'll leave. But if you can't do that, I suggest you think about a way to get him back. Because I can't stand to see my brother broken hearted again. Now, I have strict orders to drag your arse to a recording studio. Btw, my name's Amber Herondale-Blake. But most people know me as Amber Blake. Lead singer of Ice Fire."

The recording studio was a familiar place for Clary. Her musicians were the only thing missing- instead today she was playing with one of the best known rock bands on the circuit at the moment. Fronted by Jace's sister.

She was Jace's sister.

His actual sister, not his adopted sister like Izzy.

She'd had it all wrong.

It was his sister.

(AN- italics is Clary, bold is Amber, bold italics is both)

The band started playing the opening tones of the song, and Clary recognised it instantly. After hours of refining and arguing, between them her and Amber managed to arrange the song into a suitable duet.

I dreamed I was missing
you were so scared
but no one would listen
cause no one else cared
after my dreaming
I woke with this fear
what am I leaving
when I'm done here?
So if you're asking me, I want you too know

Ambers vocal voice was so different to hers, the contrast sounded straight across her head phones the minute Clary started signing. Where as Amber had a sweet, soft almost operatic voice, Clary's was gentler, more gravely but still recognisably feminine. She had always thought that her voice suited gentle rock ballads and slow, sad songs.

When my time comes
forget the wrong that I've done
help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
and don't resent me
and when you're feeling empty
keep me in you're memory
leave out all the rest
leave out all the rest

She realised what Amber was doing. By making her perform with her, it was a sure fire way to make sure that her brother listened. That he heard the message that Amber was trying to write into the music with clever vocal changes and throwing Clary head first into an important solo for the chorus.

Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shed but I'm me
I'm strong on the surface
not all the way through
I've never been perfect
but neither have you
so if you're asking me, I want you to know

Amber was good, Clary realised as the day stretched on. She could choose lyrics that suited both their vocal styles, whilst also choosing lyrics that conveyed the message she wanted to the public. To Jace. She wanted him to see that Clary was still in love with him. But Clary wasn't sure. Was she in love with him?

When my time comes
forget the wrong that I've done
help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
and don't resent me
and when you're feeling empty
keep me in you're memory
leave out all the rest
leave out all the rest

She was none the wiser, no matter how many times they had to repeat the song until it was perfect. Perfect for Amber's label. Perfect for Amber's perfectionist style. The band just went along with it, but Clary had never done so many run throughs of the same song in one day. And they had to record today. It was a lot of pressure.

Forgetting, all the hurt inside you've learnt to hide so well
pretending, someone else can come and save me from myself
I cant be who you are

No, she could be who he was. Who Amber was. Could someone else save her from her self destructive lifestyle? No one had ever tried, but in the space of one day she had been chewed out bu two very different people telling her to wake up and open her eyes to the fact that Jace was still in love with her. Was he? Clary didn't know. Could he save her? She didn't know. There were so many unknowns flying around her head that she couldn't make heads or tails of.

When my time comes
forget the wrong that I've done
help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
and don't resent me
and when you're feeling empty
keep me in you're memory
leave out all the rest
leave out all the rest

Forgetting, all the hurt inside you've learnt to hide so well
pretending, someone else can come and save me from myself
I cant be who you are
I cant be who you are.

It wasn't until they finally recorded the song that she truly realised who she couldn't be.

She couldn't be the girl that first fell in love with Jace.

But she couldn't deny that this new person she had become didn't love him too.

She went home, grabbed her book of lyrics and started writing.

Boom! I posted a chapter! I feel awful for not updating earlier but things have been really difficult recently.

Your reviews are truly what keeps me going and I can't thank you enough.

Vikki ;)~