Hidan raced around away from the training grounds and back towards the market place.
Safety in numbers, he thought.
Got to get away from the freaky pedophiles, annoying students, Deidara impersonators and whiny little girls…

He stopped when he reached the middle of the very busy and very crowded street.
There didn't seem to be much to do from what he could see.
I mean, you could buy merchandise of all sorts which would be wonderful if you lived in the area and had somewhere to put them but other than some tea houses and ramen stands, there wasn't much for a foreign visitor to do.

No sooner had the thought left his mind that Hidan spied a jewellery shop.

He glanced down at his Jashin pendant hidden in his breast pocket and noted the crusty blood stains, the weakening chain links, the tarnishing silver and the slight hint of rust in the corners of the triangle.
Maybe it was about time he got it fixed up.
Sighing in relief at having found something to do, Hidan crossed the busy street, intent on getting to the shop unscathed.
Surprisingly, he did.

The shop had its fair share of customers that were all being dealt with in some way or another but it wasn't so busy that Hidan would lose his patience and storm out before he had been seen to.
He glanced at the jewellery in the cases while he waited for someone who was free to serve him.
Among the rings and bracelets a familiar pendant came to view and Hidan had to grin.
Even among pacifists there was always a Jashinist.
The silver pendant was a lot smaller than his own and by the looks of it, a hell of a lot more expensive.
He shook his head in disgust.
Sure he loved his religion but paying THAT much money was downright disrespectful.
It was rude to make a profit off other peoples faiths.

"That's an interesting Hitai-ate you've got there."

Hidan glanced around to one of the shop keepers, an old man who had come to serve him.
The Akatsuki nin tilted his head and furrowed his brows.
Was it?
As far as he knew it was just an old as shit piece of metal that Itachi had left lying around.
The old man reached up to feel the metal and glanced at Hidan curiously.

"I haven't seen one this old that isn't in the museum. You can tell from the teeny tiny markings in the corner when it was made and for who, you know, in case someone went missing on the field."

Hidan started getting nervous as the old man stood on his toes and squinted at it.
Lack of personal space made the priest uneasy but he dealt with it for a few seconds.
He drew the line when his face was grabbed and pulled downwards so the man could get a better view.
Slapping his hands away, Hidan frowned, "Whats the problem, old man?"

"Just curious is all. The markings on that Hitai-ate you are wearing was made over 100 years ago for a…"

The man looked upwards, trying to remember the name he had read.

"Mary… Mardy… Madary Uchiha, I think."

Hidan, realized his cover was close to being blown and therefore, not worth his time dawdling in the jewellery shop.
He cut the man off, "It's a hand-me-down, oops look at the time, have to go!"
Before hurriedly exiting the shop.

He closed the door behind him and sighed.
Stupid Itachi…
He didn't know that Konoha Hitai-ates could be identified according to their age and the names on them…
And who the hell was Madary Uchiha…?
Hidan shrugged.
The senile old man probably got the name wrong anyway.
He glanced around, all the effort and continuous scares making him feel thirsty.
From what he had seen on the run over, he had rushed past quite a few tea houses.
Setting one foot in front of the other, Hidan waltzed towards the nearest one happily.

"Kakaaaaaaaaaaashhhhhhhhhhi!"

Hidan paused mid-stride and bit his tongue in his effort to not swear aloud.
Why did I impersonate someone so fucking popular!?
He glanced to his left in time to witness something truly terrifying.
A green blur was heading straight towards him and gaining momentum.
No big deal, Hidan thought, I'll just stay here and wait for it to stop… Just like with Naruto.
Sure enough, the green blur DID stop but not until the body of Maito Gai was brushing up against Hidans.
Taking a step back and slightly creeped out, Hidan wondered what kind of freak this one was.

"My eternal rival! We are going to have a match!"

Hidans eye twitched.
No… No they weren't…
There was no way in hell he was staying around to see what this was all about.

"Today the challenge is who can teach our students a better fighting technique!"

Hidans eyes widened.
Naruto!
It had been waaaaaay over 20 minutes.
The kid was probably looking for him right now.
Glancing around frantically, Hidan looked for an escapeway.

"On your marks…"

He glanced back towards the ninja in green who had taken up a stance and whose teeth were flashing in the sunlight.

"Get set…"

Uhhhh surrounded on all sides by freaks!
Seriously, all the Akatsuki had was:
A giant fish man,
A talking, color confused plant,
A doll,
A deformed guy with 4 mouths,
A pissy as hell human magnet,
A chick made of paper,
Dr. Frankenstein's greatest creation
And a weirdo with no visible skin and an orange mask.

Itachi and Hidan were probably the only slightly normal ones…

A day in Konoha seemed a hell of a lot scarier than the few years he had been in the Akatsuki…

"GO!"

Hidan dashed away from the freak in green before he even said the word.
Luckily for him, Maito Gai didn't seem to notice.
Or if he did, he assumed that Kakashi was getting a head start.

Go somewhere with lots of people, Hidan thought to himself as he raced over the rooftops.
No one will recognize you in a crowd…
His train of thought come to a halt as he spied what appeared to be a school yard.
Perfect!
What kind of high ranking jounin hangs out around a school?

Hidan bounced down to the ground and leaned against a tree in the shade.
A small rope and wood swing hung from the branches and he had to resist the urge to sit on it.
It probably wouldn't do well for someone to see Kakashi Hatake sitting on a kids swing, not that Hidan cared for the Copy nins reputation or anything.
Sighing for the millionth time that day, Hidan slid down the surface of the tree until he was sitting on the ground.
The genin, by the looks of it, had just been released out to have their playtime before their next classes started.
Hidan, normally not one to dwell on things, marveled over how little they were.

"Hard to believe something like that can grow up to be a killing machine, isn't it?"

His head shot up at the sound of an unfamiliar voice.
A tanned man stood above him, leaning against the other side of the tree with his soft eyes gazing out over the children.
Probably a teacher, Hidan thought.
The man looked down at him for a reply so Hidan nodded, trying to look thoughtful.
He raised an eyebrow at the mans choice of hairstyle.
Pineapple head much?
Seriously… Who does that…?
He looked to be about a chunnin rank and had a long thin scar across his nose.
At least this guy wasn't trying to attack him, shove porn in his face, steal his money, play games with him or inadvertently catch him out.
He actually seemed like a nice enough guy.
Nice enough to converse with anyway.
"How old are they?" Hidan asked with genuine interest.

Before the teacher could answer, an ugly little kid with a strange looking helmet on his head, a tooth missing and a long blue scarf ran up to them.

"Hey! Hey! Iruka-sensei! Can I go home early?"

The teacher, Iruka, glanced down at the boy with a raised eyebrow and facial expression that clearly stated now-why-would-I-let-you-do-that?
Hidan grinned, actually finding the kids foolish question kind of funny.

"Now why would I let you do that, Konohamaru?"

So this is the kid Naruto practices 1000 years of death on, Hidan thought.
Could explain the missing tooth…
Konohamaru pouted and fisted the bottom of his yellow shirt before excitedly replying,

"My cats having kittens and I wanna go see!"

Upon seeing the disapproving face his teacher was pulling, the kid added hastily,
"If you let me go Ill see if I can get you one for free…"

Iruka snickered and waved him off.

"I don't want a cat Konohamaru-"

"Not a cat! A kitten!"

"Well I don't want one of those either. If your mother comes to get you then you can go. Otherwise you are stuck here with me."

Iruka smiled, put his hands on his hips and ruffled the boys hair fondly.
Konohamaru pouted and ran off back to the playground muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "It worked on the other teacher."
Hidan had to grin when the kid turned back around and waved to them.

"Goodbye Kakashi-sensei! Say hello to Naruto for me!"

Hidans hidden eye twitched at the mention of Naruto but he held up his hand in farewell nonetheless.
When the kid had gone, he glanced back up to Iruka, who realized that he still hadn't answered his previous question.
"Oh uh-umm… Well the little ones in the separate playground are about 6. The ones like Konohamaru that you will be teaching today are about 11-12."

Hidan nodded.
Then did a double-take.
Desperately hoping that he had heard Iruka wrong, Hidan looked up with an worried look and asked,
"What about me teaching today?"

Iruka laughed and patted him on the back.
Thinking and hoping that it was a joke, Hidan uneasily chuckled along too.
Very aware of what he was doing, the priest started looking for ways to escape.
Standing tall and helping Hidan to his feet, Iruka replied,

"To be honest when I mentioned it last week I didn't expect you to actually show, Kakashi. But its nice to see that one of the jounin will take some time out for the kids."

Hidans mouth dropped open in horror.
Oh he did not…

"I was scheduled to teach this afternoon but oh well… I guess this will give me some time to get some mission reports done."

Before Hidan could reply, let alone articulate an answer, Iruka had dragged the stiff bodied priest towards the school building and into the classrooms, completely oblivious that he was about to let his class be taught by a very dangerous criminal that many of them would grow up to hunt.

Unknown to Iruka, Hidan scowled up at him.

And here I thought I might have like you…