A/N: AHH! Sorry, sorry. Such slow updates, I know. But ever since I came back from hiatus, there's been a writer's block here. Maybe posting a sucky chapter will get rid of it.
"Hello. I am a gentleman." Said Yaguu sitting down across from Akane.
Akane immediately got the impression he wasn't a gentleman. Why would she think that?
"Name?" She asked.
"Yaguu Hiroshi."
Akane relaxed a bit. He seemed pretty normal.
How wrong she was.
"Now Yaguu-" She began.
"NO, no call me Hiroshi." Yaguu cut in, then smiled. "Please continue."
"Um... Hiroshi? I would much rather call you Yaguu. Is that okay?"
Yaguu got a bit disgruntled, but nodded. SO far, 'Operation Conning Akane Into Thinking He Is A Gentleman' was not going well.
"Well, Yaguu, to learn about your personality, we're going to play this game. It's called 'Fire In the Barn'." Akane said.
"DO I get to set a barn on fire?" Yaguu asked eagerly, a mad glint in his eyes.
"Um...no. It is a role playing game."
"Aw.."
"So, you are in a barn with your teammates. The barn is on fire. You can only save one person. Who do you save?"
"Well, that's easy." Yaguu reasponded.
"So who?" Akane inquired.
"It's not so much of a who, but what. " Yaguu said mysteriously, flashing his glasses( his kewl glasses)
"Go on."
"I'll save the barn."
"Wait, let me explain the rules again. You are not allowed to save the barn" Akane said.
"That's unreasonable. I AM AGAINST IT." Yaguu demanded, standing up.
"..."
"Seeing that you haven't said anything, I assume I shall save the barn." Yaguu declared, triumphant, then sat back down.
Kiirihara then popped his head in. Not literally.
"Yaguu-senpai!"
"Yes?"
"Mura-buchou says I get to do the personality test with you!" Kirihara cried happily, like being in a room with a crazy therapist and a Yaguu was the best thing ever.
"Who is this child?" Asked Akane.
"Hey! I'm not a child!" Yelled Kirihara, very hurt.
"He's not a child." Confirmed Yaguu.
"I see."
"I want a lollipop." Said Kirihara randomly.
"I'm sorry, but you only get one after this is over."
Kirihara stared, stunned, that anyone disobey him, the brat which Yukimura loves so much. He decided to put this woman in her place by throwing one of his famous temper tantrums. Predictably, Kirihara got his way after ruining the rug, Yaguu's tie, and punching Santa.
Akane had to restrain herself from strangling the brat. She settled with breaking the fourth wall. "Please, get me out of this story." She pleaded.
"No can do." Says the authoress.
"At least change up the story! I don't want to keep repeating this pattern!" Akane cried desperately.
"Okay. Don't regret it though." Says the authoress happily.
XxXxXxX
"Maybe we should go check on them." Jackal muttered worriedly.
"NO." Said Yukimura.
"I just heard a crash." Jackal tried. Yukimura smiled, crushing all of Jackal's hopes and dreams.
"Please shut up, Jackal." Yukimura said happily.
"Oh, look! It's a chicken man!" Cried Marui, jumping up and down.
"What...? Oh, it is a chicken man." Niou nodded thoughtfully.
Jackal's head gleamed. I was very shiny.
"I think we should go check on them!" Sanada said.
"Great idea. Let's go!" Yukimura smiled a sign to tell the others to FOLLOW.
"I said the same thing! Why do you only listen to him?" Whined Jackal annoyingly.
"Jackal, I have already stated the reason in the second chapter." Yukimura smiled full blast, temporarily paralyzing Jackal. Then Yanagi opened the door to The Room.
"Hello, Akaya!" How's therapy going?" Asked Yanagi.
"It's going awesomely goodly. I got a lollipop. But I is lonely, kind of." As you can see, Kirihara knows his words.
"I see you know your words." Said Yanagi, then turned to Akane.
"There is an eighty two point three three three three one chance that you are scared out of your wits."
"Why are you all in here?" Asked Kirihara innocently, sucking on his lollipop.
"Gen had a great idea to check on you guys!" Yukimura declared proudly, beaming at Sanada. Sanada grunted and puffed out his chest a bit, while Jackal deflated a bit.
"I'm bored." Whined Kirihara loudly. "Can't we all just move on with therapy?"
"That's another great idea. What do you say, Akane?" Asked Yukimura, not really giving her a choice.
Akane harrumphed and said, "I'm not scared of you."
Yukimura chuckled and sighed. "It's been a long time since anyone has ever said that to my face." He smiled angelically.
Akane averted her eyes because Yukimura's beauty had blinded her a little.
"By the way, I'm the child of god." Yukimura added, unhappy that Akane hadn't crumbled into a little pile of sadness.
Sanada coughed. "Yukimura, let's just get this over with."
"Sure, Genchiro."
Yukimura then nodded at Akane. She sighed, although a bit relieved she wouldn't have to talk to Mr. Child-Of-God one-on-one.
"I have calculated MOST of your results, so the first activity we're doing is meditating."
"...Isn't that like for old people?" Said Kirihara out loud. Akane tried to calm herself.
"No, it is not." She glanced around." Okay, get in a circle everyone."
A scuffle later, Kirihara was sitting on the floor, in tears.(again)
"I WANT TO BE BESIDE YUKIMURA!"
"Renji, move over a bit for Akaya." Said Yukimura, patting Kirihara's head. Kirihara then squeezed in beside Yukimura.
"We can start now." Yukimura said to Akane.
"Alright. Sit down everyone."
They sat.
"Now close your eyes."
They closed their eyes.
"Take a deep breath..."
And Jackal's booger whistled.
"Jackal, your nostril is whistling!" Whined Kirihara.
"Shhh...be quiet. Meditation is about-" Akane began, but got cut off by a whistle. "Who's whistling?" She asked.
"Jackal's booger." Responded Marui, snickering.
"MY BOOGER IS NOT WHISTLING." Jackal muttered angrily.
"It so IS whistling. It's like, right beside my ear." Niou said.
"Jackal. Go clean out your nose." Yukimura said calmly. Jackal walked shamefaced out the door.
So for the rest of the meditating session, there were no more disturbances, except for the loud slurping of Kirihara eating his lollipop.
But no one had the nerve to call him off.
SNEAK PEEK FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER:
"So the next little game we're doing is a trust game." Akane announced.
"Um..." Niou raised his hand.
"Yes?"
"This will not work."
"Please let me finish. You are going to pair up. After that, one of you will stand behind the other. Then, the person in front will fall backwards. The person behind him will catch him."
"Like I said, this will not work." Muttered Niou.
A/N: I got it over with, at least. I'll probably rewrite this chapter.