This is a little haphazardly thrown togather because my battery is runnin outand i need to upload this.
Ill edit it some other time... enjoy

The doctors that hadn't fainted upon seeing him (but were still shocked to see what was basically a walking zombie) quickly lifted Hidan onto an emergency stretcher and wheeled him away from his anxious students and into the theater.
Within minutes his bloodstream (or lack thereof) was contaminated with a concoction of muscle relaxants, pain killers and several different kinds of anesthetics.
Being immortal, his body had automatically overridden the effects but he pretended to be knocked out all the same.
The doctors ignored the fact that his brainwaves were that of someone who was fully conscious.
After all, their patient should be dead anyway, nothing about this man could surprise them.
Hidan briefly wondered if the Konoha medics would do a better job of sewing him up than Kakuzu.
He had never been fussed over so much and despite the fact that it was because he was fatally injured, Hidan felt oddly flattered.
It was all going fine until they began cutting and stitching.
The pain was piercing and burned like hell.
Despite being what many would classify as an emo and self maiming himself constantly, being injured by other people was something he would never get used to and it still hurt like fuck.
Several times he had to bite his tongue from swearing out loud at the morons who couldn't sew as well as Kakuzu…

After their sensei was taken away, Naruto and Sakura had anxiously raced up to the observation deck to oversee the procedure with fear.
Once the doors had closed and they could no longer see Kakashi, Sakura had burst into tears, the reality that they were probably (not) going to lose their teacher finally sinking in.
Naruto rocked her back and forth comfortingly as she cried onto his shoulder and they over looked the theater, regretting that it had to be such a horrible situation for her to be so close to him.
A medical officer walked past them as they gazed down at the bloodied body in the surgery.
He shook his head and patted Naruto on the back in sympathy, his thought being that the man they were watching probably wouldn't survive.
The orange clad ninja hadn't said a word, instead crossing his fingers behind his back and praying to every deity in existence that they let 'Kakashi' live.
I don't know about anyone else, but Jashin sure was listening…

Two hours into the procedure a careless doctor who was stitching Hidans arm poked a nerve.
Now, everyones favourite Jashinist had been very patient and VERY tolerant.
He was very aware that the last time he 'belonged' in a village he killed every one of its inhabitants and so, had tried his very hardest to grit his teeth and deal with the assholes poking and prodding him with little pins and scalpels.
All this effort went to waste.
Upon having the nerve in his arm poked, Hidan cracked.

"Alright, that's fucking enough. I've put up with you fucking shitheads stabbing me over and fucking over. This actually hurts more than when that fucker Kakuzu GAVE me the damn flesh wound."

He sat up, only to be pushed back down by several sets of hands which he swatted away irritably.
Cries of "Please lay back down sir!" and "Get some more anesthetic!" echoed throughout the room, the doctors too frantic to laugh at the mans idea of a flesh wound.
Hidan growled and pushed away the hands, succeeding in sitting up the second time.
Annoyed and with horrified doctors watching, he pulled the IV drip and blood transfusion cord out of the vein in his arm.
Grumbling about the fucking stupidity of doctors and tearing brainwave sticky pads off of his forehead, he glowered at them all darkly.
From the observation deck Naruto whistled lowly, catching Sakuras attention.

"Kakashi-sensei sure is made of strong stuff Sakura-chan…"

Sakura jumped from her position in Narutos arms and glanced through the window.
Being well trained in medical ninjutsu and knowing the human body extremely well, Sakura fainted upon catching sight of her very much alive zombie sensei, making Naruto yelp in surprise and worry.

Having removed everything that had been inserted into his body, Hidan pointed to one of the doctors, a man with blonde hair and glasses and growled at him.

"You are fucking hopeless, learn to sew, you fucking arsehole."

The mans mouth dropped open incredulously at the fatally injured man who was insulting him.
Hidan turned to a red headed nurse who stood backed up against a supplies cabinet, mouth open in shock.
She had clearly never seen an immortal man before.
Hidan cut her no slack.

"Grow a brain, bitch. You kept poking me in all the wrong places, honestly, if I wasn't freaking immortal your handiwork ALONE would have fucking killed me."

The woman whimpered with tears in her eyes and nodded in fright.
Everyone present of course, didn't take the whole 'immortal' thing seriously.
Later, people who were there would claim that their patient was confused due to the drugs they had pumped into his body whilst others would nod and agree that immortal was a good way to describe the man.
Even though that was of course, impossible.

"You!"

Hidan finally pointed to an older man who was bald and had no visible teeth.
He hesitated upon catching sight of the mans appearance.
Wrinkling his nose in disgust, he muttered,

"You look fucking gross, seriously, no teeth, no hair, no personal hygiene…"

The man lowered his head sadly and nodded, long ago accepting his physical aspects but relentless as always, Hidan continued.

"You smell, you're too fucking skinny, you looking like freaking Uncle Fester… But you can stitch really fucking well… So you're coming with me to a private room to sew me up while these arseholes clean up the mess they made."

With out bothering to explain that technically, Hidan made the mess, being the one covered in blood, the old man nodded frantically, partially in terror and partially glad to have been deemed superior to his colleagues.
He hurriedly led the way out of the operating theater and towards a recovery room, leaving his two fellow doctors to grudgingly mop up the blood while they recovered from shock.

Naruto and Sakura were finally allowed to enter the room that their sensei was recovering in after 2 hours of agonized waiting.
The doctor who had been sewing up the Jashinist seemed relieved to leave the room and didn't bother telling the shinobi to let their sensei rest because after spending so much time with Hidan, who did nothing more than ramble on about random things and swear on occasion, he doubted the man needed it.
Naruto and Sakura entered the room to find Hidan relaxing back in his hospital bed with his hands behind his head and one leg crossed over the other comfortably.
There was a lollypop sticking out of his mouth which unknown to his students, he had argued for until he was given despite the doctors feeble protests that they were for the sick children that stayed in the hospital and generally not reserved for adults.
Upon seeing the faces of his morbidly afraid students, he waved cheerily, a finger wiggling dangerously on his hand and threatening to come undone from the stitches.
Despite dealing with sick and injured people every day, Sakura held back a gag.
Naruto blinked.

"How's it going, kiddies?"

The pink haired shinobi burst into tears and raced across the room to fling herself across Hidan.
She hugged him around the neck and shook him, much to his annoyance and pain.
Hidan hastily pushed her away as he felt his stitches stretch and grumbled to her,

"Look I'm fucking flattered that you love me so much, seriously, but that fucking hurts."

Sakura jumped immediately, brushing her tears away, mumbling quiet apologies and nodding her head in agreement once she remembered that she shouldn't jump on newly stitched patients.
Hidan glanced over to Naruto who wandered over from the door and glowered at his sensei, presumably because he had nearly died and hence, would have missed training again.
Hidan sighed and glanced away from the boy, glad to be hospitalized as it gave him a break from his students intense fighting regime.
As short a break as his rapidly healing body would allow him anyway.
Upon seeing the grievous injuries his sensei had attained, Narutos face soften and he smiled at Hidan in relief.
Hidan grinned, glad to have warranted some sympathy.
Sakura caught his in his peripheral vision, so he turned to her next.
He was immensely surprised to see the girl pull a colorful bundle of flowers from nowhere and offer them to him with a smile.
Hidan glanced at them and then over his shoulder, just to be sure they were actually for him, genuinely shocked that someone was giving him a get well present.
And not entirely hating the idea…

Sheepishly, he motioned to his arms with his eyes and Sakura took the hint.
Of course he couldn't accept the flowers in his condition, his arms hadn't the strength to hold anything.
Although, Hidan could practically feel the muscle and flesh reconnecting.
She instead placed them in a vase reserved for such gifts next to his bed, rearranging them so that they didn't droop and he could see them.
Hidan gazed at them thoughtfully, silently cursing the Akatsuki for never buying him get well presents like these kids were.
His thoughts were cut short when suddenly feeling an insistent pressure on his lower abdomen, he grunted into a sitting position and swung his legs over the bed.
His two students reached out to steady him and he found their worry endearing in a weird kinda way.
Motioning to them that he was okay, he hobbled over to the bathroom present in all the hospital rooms and closed the door behind him.

A few minutes later when he had finished his business, Hidan painfully pulled up his zipper and looked down at himself to inspect his injuries.
He happily noted that most of the wounds had already closed and he grinned upon finding no resistance when he flexed his muscles.
Sighing, his legs turned him around to face the mirror.
When he caught sight of his reflection he screamed.

Dun dun...
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