Okay a long chapter this time haha.
This actually didn't take me that long to write. I think I got in the mood for it lol.
So this flips back to Hidan/Kakashi and Ino/Deidara for a while.
Also, it switches back and forth between point of views... a lot... so Ill be sure to let you know whos is whos along the way :D
I'm sorry if that makes it confusing _
On a completely unrelated note… Kind of… I'll probably be starting up Hidans Diary of Doom later on in the week, so look forward to that… and yeah…
Enjoy the madness!

[Hidans POV]

Hidan was mildly perplexed when Ino asked him to stay the night and vaguely hoped that there was nothing going on between her and the real Kakashi that he didn't know about.
That would make for an interesting dinner talk…
After Shino had left, Team 7 + Ino had realized that their training had taken up the majority of the day and that it was starting to get dark – prompting them all to go home for dinner.

"Kakashi sensei? Can I stay at your house for the night?"

Hidan furrowed his brows and looked down at the blond girl giving him puppy dog eyes.
Stay with him?
What…the…. Fuck…?
Being something completely unexpected, Hidan had to take a second to think of an answer for this strange request.
Rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as Sakura threw them a strange look, he asked,

"Umm… Why the fuck would you want to stay with me, Ino…?"

Hidans eyes followed her movements as she glanced around, as if looking for a source of inspiration for an answer.
He followed her gaze to a pair of painters who were finishing up work for the night and heading home.
Obviously finding her inspiration, Ino replied,

"Uhh… Because, um… My bedroom is being painted, yeah!"

He didn't move, settling for staring at the girl with a single eyebrow raised.
Sakura at this point, had wandered over to them to listen in on the strange conversation which Hidan really couldn't blame her for... He was scared too.
Upon realizing that 'Kakashi' wasn't going to say anything else, Ino skittishly finished,

"I need to stay somewhere else because the paint fumes will kill me in my sleep if I stay at home, un!"

Hidan snorted in amusement.
That is the worst fucking excuse I have ever heard…
Sakura clearly thought the same thing.
Crossing her arms and knitting her brows together in confusion she deadpanned,

"You could always just ask to stay with me, Ino…"

Ino scratched the back of her neck and coughed into her hand awkwardly.
It was obvious that she had an ulterior motive…
Turning to face her pink haired friend she replied,

"Yeah but I don't want to get you sick, hmmm."

Hidan copied Sakuras previous movements and crossed his arms.
Leaning forward with a slight glare he growled,

"Oh, but its o-fucking-ay if I get sick?"

"No no no, un! You are wearing a mask so you probably won't catch it, yeah?"

Rolling his eyes and grumbling to himself, Hidan turned around and started walking away.
Time to go home, this is tiring…
He had tricked Naruto into telling him the whereabouts of Kakashis apartment earlier and had a rough idea of how to get there.
It seemed that the orange clad boy had followed the real Kakashi home one day and ever since had been utilizing his knowledge of the mans living whereabouts as blackmail material.
So for once it seemed, Narutos irritable less-than-average stalking skills had actually come in handy.
Obviously deciding that his silence was an invitation to follow, Ino trotted after Hidan while Sakura scowled and shook her head, slightly concerned that her friend was taking an unnatural interest in her sensei.

[Hidans POV]

Hidan turned another corner and opened the door to his apartment building, opting to take the stairs instead of the elevator as he didn't fancy being stuck with Ino in an enclosed space.
She didn't speak to him much, which made him uneasy, but when she did that horrible 'Un' she made at the end of her sentences it constantly reminded him that he would probably wake up with a cold in the morning.
Stupid blonde bitch...
Reaching his floor, Hidan vaguely realised that he didn't have a key and frowned to himself in annoyance.
Time to improvise!
Ino stood behind him awkwardly as he jiggled a pin he had pulled from her hair through the keyhole in an effort to pick the lock.
This went on for a while until an elderly women with greying hair in the next flat over, opened her door and walked up to him, a key in her hand.

"Have you lost your key again, Kakashi-san? For goodness sake...Here is the spare you asked me to hold onto."

Pushing past him, she bustled over to the lock and opened his door, giving him a small scowl accompanied by a friendly, slightly exasperated smile before she returned to her flat.
Apparently, this was a common occurrence.
Not believing his luck, Hidan grinned under his mask and entered the apartment, noting straight away that The Copy Nin barely owned any material possessions other than a small bookcase and... what's this?
Hidan snorted slightly as he glimpsed a stamp collectors book.
Who the hell knew that Kakashi Hatake collected stamps? Not this Jashinist...
Behind him, Ino cleared her throat, reminding Hidan that the annoying girl was still following him.
With a slight sigh, he removed the itchy jounin jacket and threw it onto one of the couches before motioning to the room with his hand.
In a slight monotone and fighting to keep the words "Bitch" "Slut" and "Irritating little termite" out of his sentence, Hidan murmured,

"Make yourself at home..."

Ino did just that, trudging over to an armchair in the corner of his room and slumping down into it with a sigh.
Hidan rolled his eyes and noticed with amusement that he was irritated by the privacy invasion despite the house they were currently residing in not actually being his.
Chuckling, he ventured into the kitchen and scoured through all of the cupboards looking for food.
He had turned down Narutos offer of getting ramen for dinner for the simple fact that he wasn't skilled at eating through his mask in public.
Though ramen had sounded really good at the time, he had refused and grudgingly hoped the Copy Nin catered for imposters like himself.
Apparently he did.
With a smirk of triumph he pulled out a plate of already cooked spare ribs, the only preparation they needed was eating up.
Grinning to himself at finding his favourite food, Hidan popped them in the microwave and stood watching them through the glass with glee.
He had to wipe away a small trail of drool threatening to slid down his lips.
When Ino cleared her throat from behind him again, Hidan growled and turned to glare at her.
Obviously, she was hungry too, not that Hidan could see how… Apparently starving herself was one of Inos hobbies (Although the last few days she had seemed to have filled out somehow)
Sighing, he motioned to the cupboards,

"Find something you want and eat it."

She scowled, before opening a cupboard.

"You don't entertain much do you, yeah?"

"So what if I fucking don't, Blondie?"

Ino paused in her cupboard searching and turned to glare at him skeptically.
Hidan hesitated, realizing that he probably just said the 'f' word one too many times.
Rubbing his temples and acting tired he muttered,

"Sorry. Long day."

Her narrowed eyes studied him for a second longer before slowly turning back to the fridge where she gasped with happiness and pulled out a sealed container of bakudon.

[Deidaras POV]

Deidara glared at 'Kakashi' through lidded eyes.
They now sat on the man's couch in his living room eating what they had managed to find for dinner.
It was almost like Kakashi catered for imposters.
Needless to say, he was thrilled to have found some bakudon and was eating it happily while he studied 'Kakashi'.
It really was difficult to tell if it was Hidan.
On one hand, the man hadn't killed anyone, hurt anyone or even mentioned Jashin that he knew of, not to mention that he turned his head away whenever he ate some food, ruling out the possibility of seeing his face.
Yet on the other, he swore on occasion, a habit he had never heard of Kakashi having, twitched whenever someone mentioned 'God' and whenever he seemed to be getting annoyed, reached behind his back as if to grab something that wasn't there.

And he had called him 'Blondie' earlier that evening, a name only Hidan had ever called him.
But then, he apologized afterwards… As if he had only said it on a whim…
Argh, this is too confusing, I need to either demask him or say something so that he will know it's me without blowing my cover if it is the real Kakashi.
He threw his head back and sighed, deciding it was way more trouble than it was worth.
With a shrug of his shoulders, Deidara got to his feet, stretched and made his way out of the lounge room in search of the shower.

[Hidans POV]

Hidan watched Ino go without moving a muscle lest he bring attention to himself and she start a conversation.
When she left the room he let out a relieved sigh and slumped back against the couch.
What a pain in the ass.
Not only did he have to stay another night in Konoha (not that he was beginning to mind much) but he had to spend it with her…
Honestly, he would have preferred Naruto to Ino.
Something about the blond seemed too…. Familiar…
He shook his head to clear his thoughts.
No use dwelling on it, it would only driver him crazy… er…
Hidan grinned inwardly and took a bite of his food.
In the back of his mind he thought he heard a shower turn on but dismissed it when a knock came at his door.
Of course someone else would disturb the already disturbed peace...
Sighing and setting down his plate, Hidan wiped his hands on his shirt and made for the door hesitantly, hoping it wasn't an ANBU squad that had found him out.

[Deidaras POV]

Deidara tore off the fishnets with a scowl, dreading that he couldn't destroy them as they were still needed for his disguise.
He rubbed his arms and legs gingerly where they had been too tight and chafed, inwardly cursing Sasori no Danna for this abuse.
The hair was what took him the longest to get out.
Whereas his normal hairstyle consisted of a normal high-tied ponytail, Inos apparently was held together with hairclips and pins, hair spray and probably a whole bunch of other stuff he didn't know about.
Oh man was he looking forward to getting it out…
He looked around and vaguely noticed that Kakashi used the same shampoo and conditioner that he used – Avocado oil and pomegranate.
Grinning at something finally going his way for once, Deidara fiddled with the zip on that horrible skirt, took it off and stepped into the shower.

[Hidans POV]

To Hidans relief, it was just a postman delivering a bill that he marveled at not having to pay.
Placing it on the bench as he said farewell to the seemingly friendly man, Hidan wandered into the lounge room and sat down to finish his meal before Ino returned to wherever the hell she had wandered off to.
The second he sat down, however, he groaned, realizing that before he finished eating he would have to use the bathroom.
Wherever the fuck that is…
Hidan stumbled through the hallways, opening random doors and dismissing the sound of the shower as irrelevant.
He had long ago convinced himself that Kakuzu didn't shower, having never noticed the man doing so, so the sound of running water anywhere near his person was dismissed as rain.
Opening the last door in the hallway after finding nothing but two bedrooms and a linen cupboard, he entered the bathroom happily, only vaguely wondering why there was steam coating the mirror and window.
He bypassed the shower on his way to the toilet but paused when he heard a shriek.
Quite startled himself, Hidan jumped with fright and whipped his head around to find a very naked… person… in his shower.
At first he saw the head and immediately freaked out at walking in on Ino in the shower, but when his eyes involuntarily flicked lower, it was his turn to shriek and jump away.
The person in the shower hastily grabbed a towel and covered the majority of their body, all the while glaring at Hidan who was now dry retching on the floor.

"What the fuuuuuck!? I thought you were a chick!"

Scowling and stepping out of the shower with the towel still covering everything, the blonde growled,

"Oh is that why you came in? Hoping to spy on a girl in the shower!? You're sick, I will blow you to pieces with my ultimate art if you try this again, un!"

Hidan whipped his head up to the growling blond above him and raised his brows, instantly recognizing his comrade and feeling stupid at not noticing before.
His surprise froze his mouth and he was unable to do much more than stare.
Deidara seemed to associate Hidans lack of speaking with confusion, and stuttered,

"I-I mean, Kakashi-sensei, you should probably leave…"

Hidan got to his feet and did that… he left.
He said nothing to the blond, partially because he was surprised to find that the 'Ino' that had been following him around actually had a penis, partially because that penis actually belonged to Deidara and partially because Deidara hadn't deducted that he wasn't the real Kakashi.
When he got to the lounge room, he burst into uncontrollable laughter and had to steady himself from falling over.
Deidara hadn't recognized him!
Oh that was priceless.
When he came out of the shower he was soooo going to get paid out.
The blond must have been following him all day trying to figure out who he was; Hidan or Kakashi
Kakuzu probably put him up to it, the priest sniggered.
He heard the door to the bathroom close and immediately forced the smirk from his face before sitting down.
'Ino' walked into the lounge room hesitantly and Hidan had to think of horrible, disgusting things to stop himself bursting into laughter all over again.
He couldn't look at either Deidara or Ino the same after this.
The fact that Deidara had chosen to put on the short skirt and fishnets again nearly had Hidan in stitches.
He motioned to the armchair across from him with a shaking hand, trying not to laugh but in Deidaras eyes, looking severely scared.
Deidara sat down and seeming exceedingly nervous.
Hidan cleared his throat and began,

"Now, Ino… We have some things to discuss…"

Deidara instantly paled and bit his lip.
It seemed the blond was now entirely convinced that the man in front of him was the real Kakashi.
After all, Hidan would have picked up on all the hints he had been dropping, not to mention the genital flash, and pointed out his identity immediately… If it had of been the real Hidan, anyway.
Smirking under his mask and feeling the need to freak the blond out, the Jashinist continued,

"Our romantic relationship has been steadily getting more serious and as I never noticed, slash, you never told me you were actually a man, I want to ask you a question…"

Hidan paused dramatically for effect and thought of kittens dying to stop himself laughing at the horrified look on Deidaras face.
The terrorist looked quite ill and was probably thinking something along the lines of "Why the hell did I let myself be forced into this?"

"Would you ever be into strap ons?"

Hidan would be lying if he said he expected it… Because he didn't.
Deidara let out the most earsplitting scream known to man and picked up various items around his person to throw at 'Kakashi."
Unable to hold it in any longer and despite having an alarm clock hit him in the crotch, Hidan burst out laughing.
His laughter was so hard that it rendered him immobile as he fell to the floor.
Deidara hesitated and glared at the laughing man before questioningly growling,

"Hidan…?"

The answer was more laughter and with an angry scowl, Deidara marched across the room and ripped Hidans mask down.
His eyes narrowed dangerously when he recognized his idiotic comrade and he growled,

"Why would you do that… And why are you laughing so hard, un?"

Hidan sat up and wiped tears from his eyes.
Pointing at the blond before him, he listed off the reasons for his manic giggles,

"You are wearing fishnets… You are wearing a skirt… You referred to yourself as a girl… And you have completely ruined Ino Yamanakas reputation!"

He burst into another fit of laughter as Deidara crossed his arms and scowled.

"It was Sasori no danna and Kakuzu-sans idea! How did I ruin her reputation, un? I thought I did okay, yeah…"

Hidan sat up from his position on the floor and hiccupped.
Waving his hand to dismiss Deidaras thoughts he replied,

"Nuh-uh… According to her friends now, Ino just lied about having her bedroom painted to stay the night with a man much older than herself, not to mention that I'm going to tell everyone Ino has a dick BAHAHAHAHA!"

Deidara put his hands on his hips and glared at Hidan, knowing nothing could be done until the idiotic man calmed down.

Sorry if this chapter is a little low quality lol.
Didn't have a lot of editing time so… yeah..
Annnnnyway. Hope you enjoyed this little episode.
Rates and reviews are to be left after the beep and complaints and excuses to be forwarded to my lovely secretary Natalie! (Who may or may not be getting paid the correct wage)
Until next time!