Haha this chapter is fairly short which I apologise for.
I still have to figure out how to end this so I am kind of torturing everyone in the process of doing so.
By now almost all of the Akatsuki are in on this…

Getting to sleep that night was very difficult.
Because Deidara is what Hidan likes to call a 'princess' and Hidan is what Deidara likes to call an 'immortal jerkoff' they ended up sharing Kakashis double bed, neither of them wanting the couch.
Kakuzu had always complained about Hidans nasty habit of sleep 'stabbing' but until that night, Deidara had thought he was either joking or exaggerating…
Nope.
But as it does with most things, a few minor explosions fixed the problem.

Needless to say, the next morning, neither of them were in good moods.
They awoke, glared at each other and got up to eat breakfast.
Not needing to wear the mask anymore, Hidan kept it hanging around his neck and not currently being in public, Deidara had settled for fitting into some of the real Kakashis clothes, forsaking the fishnets and purples.
Whether this worked in their favor was something that could be held up for debate.
No sooner had they sat down to eat their hastily thrown together breakfast did a knock come at the door.
Or it would have, if Naruto bothered to knock…
The happy blonde bounced in, closely followed by Sakura and Sai who stood stock still at the scene in front of them.
Hidan had turned away immediately, pulling his mask over his nose before daring to face his 'students'.
The fact that he had his mask down in front of 'Ino' was surprising in itself.
Deidara had no need to do such things but it was probably his appearance more than anything that had Naruto, Sakura and Sai staring with their mouths open.
Due to Hidans sleeping habits, the blond had small bruises covering him head to toe, the majority of which were visible on his neck, looking rather like hickies.
Rolling around all night trying to avoid Hidans wrath had given him a rather bad case of sex hair and the fact that he was wearing Kakashis clothes made the image even more incriminating.
Sakuras eyes shifted to the floor where they widened and twitched upon seeing fishnet stockings and a purple shirt and skirt thrown hastily on the floor.
In actual fact, the second Hidan had realized who Deidara was (and vice versa) the blonde had angrily began to strip himself out of the horrible clothes and thrown them to the ground in disgust.
Neither of them had bothered to clean up.

"They had sex."

Everyones, and I mean everyones, eyes widened in horror at Sais happy explanation for the chaos around them.
Hidan began to splutter and Deidaras mouth dropped open in disgust.
Surprised at the silence, Sai began to explain,

"Sabaku no Gaara showed me a video tha-"

"WAIT, WHAAAAT!?"

Narutos outburst wasn't without good reason.
Who would have thought, Gaara of all people was teaching Sai to be social? And in THAT kind of manner?
Sakura made a violent shuddering motion and gagged in the back of her throat.
Pointing accusingly at 'Ino', she muttered,

"How long has this been going on…?"

Deidara and Hidan looked at each other, not knowing what to say.
The blonde sighed and gave Hidan the just-go-with-it look.
Deciding to answer as truthfully as possible, Hidan replied,

"This is the third day we have been here."

By 'here' he meant Konoha in general, but insinuating that he was referring to his 'affair' with Deidara seemed the safer option…
Everyone could tell when Hidan was lying, it was just one of those things…
Much to Hidan and Deidaras surprise and horror, a smirk formed on Sakuras face.
Looking up at them, she smiled in a half joking, half serious manner and shouted,

"I knew it! That's why you are always late to practice and why Ino always has to go to the 'flower' shop! When were you going to tell me!?"

Deidara and Hidans mouths opened and closed many times and they looked at each other for help.
How the hell do you get out of this situation?
Kakashi and Inos reputation were most definitely ruined…

Before going to Konoha, the Akatsuki made a quick stop at Sunagakure.
Kakashi Hatake would be returning to the Village Hidden in the Leaf the next day (having arrived the night before and completing his mission) and he needed to be stalled.
There was a high chance that they would need a few more days to carry out their hastily thrown together plan.
Pein sighed as Itachi dressed Sasori up.
Why did all their plans involve dressing up…?
Though it was true that many of the Akatsuki could not henge on infiltration missions what did it matter?
We are fucking ninjas! We should be able to get in without dressing up.
They probably do it for their own amusement, Pein thought to himself darkly.
After all, Itachi could henge perfectly and yet he always chose to dress up…
He heard the Uchiha hiss in pain from across the room and glanced over to watch as he removed the sewing pin from his finger and licked the droplet of blood away.
Pein sighed.
Kakuzu had sure caused a lot of trouble.
Step one of Operation: Rescue Fuckheads involved the Kazekage.
Kisame had kidnapped the man the night before and brought him to the Akatsukis Wind Country base.
Initially furious, Gaara had calmed down once he was explained the situation, surprising everyone by going along with it.

"Whatever, but hurt anyone in Suna or Konoha and there will be hell to pay…"

Pein glanced absent mindedly at the Kazekage who was currently playing cards with Kisame and Zetsu.
They had promised to let him go after they completed their mission and a promise was a promise.
He doubted Kisame would mind, he was having his arse kicked.

"There, done!"

Gaara and Pein looked up and their gaze locked onto a displeased looking Sasori and a cheerful Itachi.
Sasoris eyes had been blacked out and his normal Akatsuki robe replaced with a gourd.
Draped over his shoulders were perfect copies of Gaaras clothes.
The Kazekage nodded thoughtfully and muttered,

"You are convincing, now hurry up so I can return to my village."

Sasori growled but nodded nonetheless.
It was the puppet masters job to distract the Copy Nin as the Kazekage with various tasks and jobs around the village until Pein had retrieved the 'Fuckheads'
Although Gaara didn't entirely object to the idea, he was still irritated that he couldn't have just carried it out himself.
But oh well, this is the Akatsuki he was dealing with…
From what he had heard, they weren't much of a threat.
It was probably just better to humor them.
Little did Pein know, but most of the Akatsukis infiltration methods and 'secret' techniques were very common knowledge to the Kazekage and as a result, he didn't really see them as much of a threat.
Seriously, who dresses up in costumes to conceal their identity when they could just henge?
Maybe it was because it was so stupid that it actually worked…
And according to Orochimaru, who for some reason used to send letters to Gaara before his death, 95% of the Akatsukis decisions and argument were solved by playing 'Rock, paper, scissors' and drawing papers out of a hat.
No… Gaara didn't find them threatening.
Konoha however, didn't know this information as it had been the sand nins choice to relay it to them once they signed a peace treaty.
He only wished he could see Hidan and Deidara trying to tough out being swarmed with hundreds of bouncy, orange shadow clones.
A metaphorical light bulb flashed above Gaaras head as the thought came to mind.

"Pein?"

The orange haired leader of the Akatsuki turned to the Kazekage with a raised brow and an expression that showed he was listening.
Slowly and painfully smiling for the first time in years, Gaara stood up and asked,

"Can I go to Konoha and watch Hidan and Deidara fight with each other?"

Kisame and Zetsu snorted in the corner, wishing they were close enough to Konoha to do the same.
Pein tapped his chin thoughtfully.
It would be very stupid on his part to send the Kazekage into the village when he could easily alert the other shinobi as to what was going on.
Unless he had an escort, someone who could relate back to the Akatsuki what was going on…

"Fine, but only if Konan goes with you... For your protection andours."

Gaara nodded in understanding as Pein gestured to the blue haired kunoichi folding origami in the corner of the room.
He had expected something of the sort, the Akatsuki weren't entirely stupid after all…

So like I said,almost all of the Akatsuki are in on this besides Kisame, Zetsu, Pein, Kakuzu and Itachi.
So far anyway haha.
Lols will be had.
As always leave your rates, reviews, complaints and pathetic excuses after the beep!