Chapter 7: Duplicitous

And just as sudden as it began the wildfire extinguished, when Clove began knocking on the door, which startled both of us. Before I could react, Cato had tossed me to the floor and was shouting at her not to open the door. From the floor I could see the doorknob turning slowly; and despite the pain of the fall, I started running for the nearest shelter.

I eagerly rushed into Cato's bathroom just as Clove broke into the room, frantic and heavily intoxicated. I peered through the crack of the door and eavesdropped as their conversation broke into full swing.

"Cato! How are you feeling?" Clove asked while she attempted to make her way over to the bed. She stumbled several times before Cato reached out to support her, and she let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm feeling much better now," Cato replied, and I could tell from her expression that he was smiling as he spoke.

"I was so worried," Clove said, pouting as she spoke. I could see that she was already all over him, but I couldn't make out most of Cato's figure. I relied only on my partial vision and their voices to lead me to the situation.

"Don't be, baby. Come here," Cato replied, and I could see that he was embracing her with his two arms.

"Don't ever do that to me again, sweetie," Clove added, and I nearly vomited. I was hardly surprised when I started to see Clove's figure lean in close, and I knew that they were kissing. A pain spread through my body, and my muscles nearly gave out on me. I couldn't bring myself to understand this turn of events. I heard a glass smash, and pulled myself together long enough to peer through the door. I felt a knife strike me in the chest as I took in Cato's brawn figure straddling over Clove's petite body. They had intensified the kiss and I knew that it would not stop any time soon. I wiped the tears from my cheek, and tried to gasp for as much air as I could take into my lungs. I was having trouble breathing, but I knew that I could not allow Clove to catch me in here.

Instead, I slowly slid the door open, wide enough so that I could quickly fit through the gap, and bolted for the door as silently as possible. I made it to the bedroom door in a few strides, and didn't cast a second glance behind me as I ran down the stairs. The party was still in motion, and the music had been turned up considering the innumerable amount of people now dancing in the living room.

There were red cups everywhere, lining the couch to the table. I noticed a bowl of chips had been knocked over and its contents now lie on the hardwood floor. I could barely make out the figures under the flashing lights, but I was able to track down Katniss. She was near the television set, in the living room, dancing alongside a couple girls who were a year younger than us. So much for getting drunk on the atmosphere, I mumbled to myself through the tears. I pulled my phone from my pocket and sent a desperate text, before running down the flight of stairs.

I broke through the crowd of people rapidly, before running into Katniss frantically. I could tell that she knew something was wrong when her expression was overcome with concern. She grabbed my wrist and eagerly led the way outdoors. We had to make our way through several people before reaching the patio doors at the back of the house, near the kitchen. Katniss pushed the door open first, and led the way to a pair of patio chairs.

"Peeta, what happened?" Katniss asked as soon as the chair enveloped me. Her face had not changed from concern, but it held a small glimpse of understanding before I could even start speaking.

"Cato…" I replied, wiping at my runny nose and a tear that stained my cheek.

"What did he do?" Katniss asked sympathetically.

"Clove…and Cato…they…we kissed…" I stuttered, before plummeting my face into my hands, another sob wrecking through my body.

"Peeta…it's okay," Katniss said somberly, while rubbing my back. "Who kissed?" she added, stopping on briefly to push her finger to my chin and raise my face to hers.

"Cato kissed me…and then Clove," I managed through a thick set of tears.

"I don't understand, Peeta. Explain from the start," Katniss replied, with a confused look on her face.

"I helped Cato to his room since he wasn't feeling well, and he ended up kissing me. Clove knocked on the door, and I ran to the bathroom so that she wouldn't notice me. When I peered through the door, I heard Cato and Clove calling each other terms of endearment before they started kissing. I didn't stay long enough to find out how far it was going to go," I confessed, surprised that I was able to contain my tears long enough.

"I'm so sorry, Peeta," was all that Katniss could manage to say to me. Her expression never once expressed that she had warned me about him. Her face only represented genuine understanding.

"I'm so stupid, what was I thinking?" I shouted, another few short tears searing into my cheek as I shook my head violently.

"This is not your fault. Look at me, Peeta," Katniss said sternly. I turned to meet her gaze, as she continued: "This is not your fault."

I knew then that I needed Katniss. I couldn't stand to fight any longer, so I just allowed her to hold me in her arms. I could smell her sweet perfume making its way from her neckline to my nostrils. I breathed in the fresh scent of her shampoo, and the rustic smell of the forest, which clung to her after every visit. Our embrace was cut short when I heard a loud click a few feet away and turned my head, alongside Katniss, to see that Gale had joined us.

"Hey, what's going on out here?" Gale said quickly, before taking in our serious expression. "Oh, Cato…?" he implied.

"Can you believe that he had the nerve to string Peeta along and then sleep with Clove knowing full-well that Peeta was in the room?" Katniss exclaimed, before raising her hands to cover her mouth. "I'm sorry, Peeta. I'm horrible at keeping secrets with Gale…" she added. I nodded that it was all right, and we turned back to Gale who had an odd expression on his face.

"What is it?" I asked. I brought myself to stand, and began making my way over to him. "Tell me what you know, Hawthorne, or so help me," I screamed. I had closed the distance between us and my face was now only a few short inches from his. He looked both nervous and guilty.

"Cato and Clove came downstairs about 10 or 15 minutes after you two went outside. Cato was looking for you. Heck, the guy even approached me to ask where you had gone. I could tell that something had happened, and I didn't know what to do, so I told him that you left," Gale confessed. "I'm sorry!" he exclaimed thereafter, and he rested a firm hand on my shoulder trying to calm me down.

"Don't worry, I'm on my way out anyway," I said angrily, and stomped off toward the patio doors. I could hear both Katniss and Gale shouting after me, but once again I didn't bother to turn around to face them. I opened the door and sent it crashing closed behind me. I scanned the room quickly, before my eyes locked onto just the person I was looking for. He was standing in the doorway, looking out-of-place. He caught sight of me before waving.

"I got your text!" Finnick exclaimed.

I hardly heard what he said, before I closed the distance between us and crashed my lips into his. I could tell that he was taken by surprise, but he didn't bother to recoil. I was sure that Cato would take notice in a matter of time, so I started intensifying our lip lock. I placed a hand on Finnick's firm chest, and slid my tongue into his mouth. I slid my hand down toward his waistline, straddling his belt, and I could hear him moaning in between breaths. Just as Finnick appeared to be relaxing, I pulled back and turned around to see Cato watching me. His eyes were stained red with tears and I could see a large flicker of pain make its way through them. I decided to make matters worse when I dragged Finnick to the dance floor and began grinding on him intently. He stood behind me as I provocatively danced against his body, raising my arm to grasp the side of his hair as I made my way lower. The music was blaring now, and my vision was starting to blur from all the moving bodies around us. I turned around to face Finnick, and I could see Cato just over his shoulder glaring at us still, this time joined by Katniss and Gale who were shaking their heads. Mine as well put on a show, I thought first. I pushed Finnick onto the love sofa and jumped onto his lap. I immediately started to thrust my body sexually against Finnick's, tossing my hips back and forth as I straddled him. I crashed my lips into his, before standing back up again. I shot out my hand to Finnick to help him up from the sofa, and I noticed that my provocative performance had stimulated him to the point where his eyes were heavy with lust.

"Let's get out of here," I whispered to him, before stringing my fingers into his and heading over to open the door. I didn't give Cato a second glance as I sent the door slamming behind us. It wasn't long before the roar of the engine brought Finnick's car to life and the lights of Cato's mansion disappeared in the distance. I cranked the music up, loud enough to be unable to think anymore. Finnick looked unusually surprised by my sudden change in behavior, more less my advances only minutes before.

I tossed my hand into my pocket to reach for my phone, which was currently vibrating aggressively. I had several text messages from Katniss and Gale, and a few missed calls. Cato was currently attempting to call me, but I did not want to hear his excuses. Instead, I simply tapped the ignore button on the screen, and started to dance in the car. I opened the window, enough to toss my head outside and feel the wind zipping through my hair. It felt amazing. The air was refreshing, and particularly peaceful despite the raging music coming from only a few feet inside the car. I took in the sweet smell that wafted from the riverside drive, unaware of where we were going, although I could have cared less at this point. I closed my eyes and allowed the music to take control.

I woke up peacefully, and experience the small profound moment of serenity as I had felt for the last few days. I could feel the feeling returning to my fingers and toes, and I started stretching the rest of my muscles. My yawn turned into a low grunt and then I rolled over and curled up more tightly into a ball. I was currently grasping my knees between my two arms and resting my head into a warm pillow comfortably. I stretched a hand upwards which knocked against a headboard, which sent my hand flying back in pain.

I noticed then that something about the atmosphere around me didn't seem right. I opened my left eye to take in my surroundings before realizing that I was not in my own bed. Awareness came in a flash and I panicked, as this was a strange and frightening moment.

Where am I? How did I get here? I thought to myself frantically. I could feel my palms and upper lip beginning to perspire. My fingers trembled, and I tucked my toes in which had become severely cold. No reassuring thoughts came to mind, and I was beginning to move, before an arm fell overtop of me, stopping me from my escape. I let out a shout, and started thrashing the sheets in a fright.

"Peeta, it's okay. It must have been a nightmare," the boy whispered beside me.

I gradually turned slowly, my arm tucked underneath my body as I faced the speaker. Finnick, I realized. The events of the night before came rushing back instantaneously. I had to pull myself back from Finnick's proximity to process all the memories of the night before. We were driving with the music blaring…we ended up back at his place…we talked about what happened with Cato…and then we just slept, right? I asked myself.

"How did you sleep, handsome?" Finnick asked flirtatiously. He leaned in and quickly pressed his lips against mine. I didn't know whether or not one of our breaths smelt appalling or if it was just my view of myself in the moment.

"Finnick. What happened last night?" I asked, a horrified expression making its way onto my face.

"You don't remember? It's kind of hard to remember this," Finnick replied, before pulling me into another embrace and stealing another kiss. I had to physically push him away from me in order to piece together the events. I started shouting at him, and bashing my own character for my own stupidity; then grabbing the sheets to cover my naked body, I made my way to the bathroom to change.

Finnick was at the door in no time at all, trying to convince me to come out to talk. I slipped on a pair of boxer briefs and a pair of black skinny jeans. I stopped to look at myself in the mirror. I looked as if I had two black eyes from the circles, which hung low, under my strained eyes. I ran my fingers under the water before applying my hands to my hair, to calm the mess it had become throughout the night. I was absolutely disgusted with my behavior. I remembered exactly what Finnick and I had done together, and I couldn't forgive myself for it. I eagerly through on a cardigan and a blue belt and made my way out of the washroom.

"What's going on with you, Peeta?" Finnick started with a worried expression. "I thought that you wanted this…us?" he proposed.

"I don't know what I want, Finnick!" I screamed, which I knew would wake up the other members of his family from the sound of the echo.

"I don't understand. I picked you up from that mess last night and I give you a place to stay, and now you're treating me like dirt," Finnick said sadly. His face looked worn, and I noted that I had never seen him without his gorgeous locks of hair perfectly gelled and a glass-like complexion.

"I'm so sorry, Finnick. I need to get out of here," I replied, reaching for my shoes and turning back to the door. I was about to reach for the handle, but I stopped in my tracks when I heard Finnick's stern voice.

"Remember, Peeta. You wanted this; you can't change that," he said gravely. I cast a glance behind me over to where the boy now sit sadly on the bed, and mouthed an apology before turning the door handle and rushing out of the room. I fought to hold back tears when I finally arrived in the entranceway. My hands were shaking as I dialed the number for the bakery.

"Mom? I need you," I said, pressing my right thumb and index finger to my eyes. They were burning under the pressure, and I knew that she was my last resort.

"Alright honey, I'll be there in a couple of minutes," my mother replied after I explained to her that I was at Finnick's house. I could tell by her tone that she was worried, but I knew that she would be aware of the events that took place the night before – without me having to explain myself in any manner.

She arrived no later than ten minutes as she pulled up into the driveway. I eagerly ran to the car. My mother had opened her door and had run over to embrace me in no time at all. She whispered, "it was alright" as she bent down to kiss my head. She wrapped her arm around my shoulders, like Cato had done so many times before, and led me to the passenger's side. We were on the road before long, and I peered out the window to see the sun shining down through the thick tree line. The forest here along the river was very dense and remarkably dry this time of year. We drove on in silence, neither one bothering to turn on the radio. We just passed occasional smiles between one another, which was enough to reassure me that things were, truly, going to be all right.

For the remainder of the afternoon, my mother had come hourly to check on me in my room, to ensure that I was all right. I would only nod to her, before she would express concern and would return only in an hour's time. There was one occasion where I started hysterically crying, just after lunch, where my mother returned to my room early. She caught me eagerly trying to cover the tears and the shrieks that were escaping my lungs. Instead of telling me that things would be all right this time, rather she began to ease my pain by telling me something I never thought I'd hear my mother say. She said, "I'm going to tell you something that not a lot of adults have the guts to admit to their children, okay Peeta?"

I recall nodding at her and simply resting my head in her lap as she went on. "You'll fall in love again. Despite what you might think, it will happen. It always does, no matter how much you care for this boy. It may just have taken a couple missteps to realize that Cato may not be the one for you," she added. Her tone was grave, but otherwise inspirational and heartfelt. I knew that she meant what she was saying, and took this conversation to heart.

"I don't want to lose him," I said, muffling another set of tears.

"Honey, you need to stop crying. It'll get worse before it gets better. But I want you to know that I respect any decision you decide to make, you hear me? I will support you no matter what. Just promise your mother that you'll be careful," she said, pulling my chin up to meet her gaze.

"I would have been lost without you today, mom," I replied, managing a small smile as a final tear trickled its way down my cheek. My mother took her index finger and slowly caressed the cheek where the teardrop had left a trail.

"That's what I'm here for, honey. Anytime," my mom added. She gave me a kiss on the forehead, before she stood up and made her way to the door. She turned around last minute to give me a final piece of advice. "You know, when I first met your father it wasn't always like it is now. There was a time when we thought that our relationship wouldn't work out either. But we managed to fight through whatever threw itself in our path – because we loved each other, Peeta. And to this day, I have never regretted a single moment of our time together. Your father gave me happiness… and he gave me you," she said simply. She gave me a caring, one-sided smile, and then closed the door on her way out.

My mother's words really hit close to home for me, as I peered outside my bedroom window at the setting sun; I was all cried out now. I reached for my sketchpad and flipped through a couple pages before reaching a blank sheet. I started drawing the sights before me, and was able to rid my mind of my thoughts for a small moment of time. I integrated several different variations of orange and yellow colorings, before tearing the page out and throwing it in the trash bin. I reached for a blue pastel and started drawing intently. When I finished I realized that I had drawn two separate images. My first draft was of the setting sun, and my newfound painting was of the rising moon. It was darker, more sinister, but also more beautiful. It came bearing darkness, but it also represented a light in the midst of all the turmoil and destruction. Yet, the moon in my mind had always appeared to be lonely. It had only the stars to keep it company throughout the nights, when human beings would hide away under the sheets of their beds. But finally, the moon was evocative of something the sun could never achieve: it was picturesque even through its flaws.

I let the painting slip out of my hands and fall to the floor, before I started for my sweater and my car keys. I rushed off with a small goodbye to my parents, before tackling the road. The car roared to life in seconds, and I immediately revved the engine. I was going well over the speed limit, which I had not bothered to abide too since I left home. The road winded back and forth, and I took in the sight of the moonlight reflecting off the river. I had made it to my destination in exactly twenty-four minutes. I turned the car off, removed the keys, locked the doors, and ran quickly for the doors.

The key slid into the lock easily, and with a clockwise-turn, I heard the "click" sound of the door unlocking itself. I pushed my way into the living room, striking a match and throwing in a couple logs of wood to begin warming the place. I hadn't taken off my jacket yet, so I travelled over to the downstairs bedroom and placed it on an unknown bed. I remembered that Cato had told me that the guest bedroom was upstairs, so I would need to find that at some point.

Next I checked on the fridge to see if there were any late night snacks that I could sink my teeth into. Luckily for me, I found tray with tin foil over it, which turned out to be strawberry cheesecake. I quickly placed the slice on a glass dish, before making my way back over to the fire.

The fire was warm against all my muscles. I sat on the ledge where Cato and I first talked the other night. The bricks were warm from the fire, which I could feel against my jeans. I prepared myself to grab a pair of pajamas, but as I started to raise myself from the seat, I heard the door shaking. If it weren't for the obvious form of Cato, I would have panicked under the pressure.

"Peeta! I'm so glad you're here. I knew that you would come at one point or another," Cato said, pulling off his grey jacket.

"Well, I'm here now. What are you doing here?" I asked him back, with a steady voice. How could he stand there innocently?

"This is my place, you know," Cato chuckled. He noticed that I didn't laugh alongside him, before he slowly traversed the room over to where I was currently standing. "We need to talk," he added simply.

"About what? The fact that you slept with Clove right after kissing me? Don't even begin to tell me that you were intoxicated, because I know damn well—" I screamed, before Cato's deep voice interrupted mine mid-sentence.

"I didn't sleep with her. I actually told her that I was interested in someone else!" Cato exclaimed.

"Really? And was that before or after you stuck your tongue down her throat," I retorted, angrily. I hadn't realized that I had this much bottled up emotion until now, and I was unable to control myself any longer. I had been a ticking time bomb and I was about to explode.

"Peeta, I'm sorry you had to see that, but I promise you: nothing is going on between Clove and I," Cato tried.

"Do you really think I'm that pathetic? That'd I'd sit here and listen to you lie to my face, Cato," I replied.

"And you're so innocent?" Cato exclaimed. He knew that he should not have said anything, because I immediately became further aggravated.

"You had your fix, why couldn't I have mine? This world doesn't revolve around that selfish, egotistical head of yours!" I screeched back at him.

"So you did sleep with him!" Cato said, both angrily and saddened. His eyes were everywhere around the room, searching for some sort of answer.

"No! I wouldn't do that to you, but I will admit that I wanted too," I lied. I panicked in the moment when I saw the flash of hurt on his face, and I could not bear to inflict any more hardship on him.

"That's just as bad!" Cato retorted, this time more infuriated than the last.

"Why should it be? It's not like we have something, you and I!" I yelled back at him.

"That's all on you! You're the one who ran off in the first place," Cato replied.

I took a moment to compose myself, as I rested my head against my arm on the mantle of the fireplace. I breathed slow breaths in and out; several times before I could pull myself together long enough to sustain a healthy conversation.

"I didn't think you had a preference, particularly for boys," I said, curiously.

"I don't know what I want, Peeta. But I do know that when we're together, I'm a better person. You, make me a better person. I hate seeing us fight like this," Cato replied.

"I guess we're both a little lost," I admitted, avoiding his gaze.

"And that's why we have each other, and this place. We can always come here to get away from everything. There's nowhere I'd rather be right now than here, with you." Cato had moved closer to me now, and I felt him slip his arms through my waist and hold me. Our argument had escalated so quickly, and dimmed to nothingness shortly thereafter. I felt his head come down on my shoulder and I lost all feelings of anger. I turned my head to look up at him, before planting a small kiss onto his lips.

He pulled me to the couch, and this time he pulled himself over top of me. I looked into his eyes, which were the color of a deep blue ocean current; but in the moonlight, they looked almost serenely silver. From the pressure of his hands, I could tell he was as nervous as I was. When he finally leaned down, I could first smell the sweet scent of pine mixed with a flurry of unidentifiable odors, which all together smelt like the forest after a light drizzle, then the smell of his shampoo.

His lips reached mine, which were so soft against my skin. I couldn't stop my heart from pounding in my chest. Blood flowed rapidly in my cheeks, making them flushed with a red blush. I wasn't nervous, but I had been waiting for this moment for what seemed like ages, and it was finally happening.

I ran my fingers through his hair slowly, entwining each and every lock. Every time I took a breath between our kisses, I would be filled with the scent of fresh peppermint. His breath was cool against mine for a moment in time, and then he suddenly pulled away. He cocked his head to the side playfully, and spoke a few short words that immediately broke the ice.

"Do I taste cheesecake?"

Author's Note: This chapter contains a lot of symbolism, imagery, and foreshadowing. Read carefully and enjoy! xx