Chapter 10: Trepidation

The hospital doors opened automatically as I rushed through the double set of doors, located along the east bank of the parking lot. The east wing was flush with white lights that illuminated the hallway. I could see beds that lined the walls, nurses rushing throughout a multitude of rooms and off-shoot halls; finally my eyes situated themselves on a lady, who was sitting behind a large white desk, peering at me intently. She had a nice white smile and her hair was as brown as bark, as it caressed her cheek in large curls. I could see the faint color of caramel intertwined within the dark locks, which further complimented her dazzling hazel eyes.

I walked over to the desk slowly, passing a glance down each hallway, hoping frantically to get a glimpse of Cato's family, which I presumed would be the first to arrive after the accident. My mind was racing and my steps were laced with nerves; my hands shook under the strain and my eyes were burning with anxiety. When I finally reached the desk, I could see that there were several charts and binders that lined the bookshelf behind, along with several expensive-looking computers. Each computer had an attendant, all of whom dressed in plain scrubs in a variety of different shades. When I caught the attendant before me peering at me inquisitively, as she passed a glance up and down to surely assess any possible injuries, I began to mumble.

"I'm looking for a blonde boy, who came in suffering injuries from a car accident," I stated nervously, the words catching themselves with each breath. I watched as she surveyed the charts before her, passing a finger across a patterned sheet. She then turned to the computer before her and clicked the small white mouse several times, before typing a couple words.

"Are you family?" she asked, never once passing a glance upwards toward me. She continued to search through innumerable pages on her desk and continuing to click with the mouse every few moments.

"No, he's…he's a friend," I said, searching for the right words. I thought it best if I simplified things for her by stating only that we were friends.

"The records say that he is currently in surgery, dear. If you'd like to take a seat down the hall and to your left, I can have someone notify you when he is allowed visitors, if all goes well. Unfortunately, I cannot disclose any information about his progress considering you are not family. I'm sure you can understand," she said. I was truly upset by this information, but I knew that any protest would not help Cato's case. I nodded at her, managed a small thanks, and then proceeded down the hall.

As I proceeded to the waiting area, I could hear the low moaning of patients in their rooms, suffering in pain from an innumerable amount of cases. I tried to drown out the cries of pain by preoccupying my time by sending word to my parents about my disappearance. I sent the message quickly, before picking up my pace as I finally rounded the corner.

I was immediately struck by the amount of people in the waiting area for this time of night, let alone the sight of Gloss, Cashmere, Clove, Glimmer and Marvel. I walked over to them nervously, and was struck with relief when they turned to meet my gaze. Cashmere was the first to shriek, before she kicked off her high heels and ran over to me. She nearly plummeted to the two of us to the floor as she bounded into me with a large embrace. It felt nice to have her arms around me, and I did the same to her.

"We were so worried about you," she whispered, not bothering to let go. Our embrace was broken when Gloss made his way over followed by the others. He gave me a small prod on the shoulder and a reassuring nod, which I knew was his way of expressing his relief. One by one the others spoke their words of relief, before we made our way to a small seating area in the corner of the room.

The room was fairly large, and it had an impressive aquarium in the middle of the room. There were a select few elderly patients that were wheeled out to watch the fish sway back and forth through the coral yard. I smiled when an older lady, with a frail figure and terrible posture was wheeled out to the aquarium to watch the fish. She placed her hand against the glass instinctively, and through her pain she managed a smile that was enough to light up the entire room. I brought my attention back to the others as I watched them whisper among each other, all their faces lined with worry and fatigue. It hit me then how tired I had become over the last few hours, suffering from this dramatic turn of events only furthered the fatigue that threatened to overcome my body at any moment. I decided to ask the others what they knew of the accident, in order to sustain my consciousness; anything to keep me from going insane in worry.

"I heard that the car is totally destroyed," Cashmere said. Her tone was different from her usual perkiness. It was severely more distressed and it cracked between words.

"Marvel was saying that it was found in a ditch," Clove added. We all turned our attention to Marvel, who was currently looking at the bleak floor intently.

"Marvel?" Gloss asked, trying to get through to the slender boy who was completely distant. His eyes seemed to hang low and I noticed that he hardly blinked as he began to talk.

"The damage is apparently excessive, at least that's what my parents say. Cato's parents called mine as they raced over here. All I know is that the car had trailed off from the road and into a tree near the old marina," Marvel said sullenly. His voice mimicked Cashmere's, distressed and painful.

"Where are Cato's parents now?" Clove asked, breaking the silence after Marvel's admission.

"Last I heard they'd gone into the waiting room in the west wing, near the ER," Gloss stated. We all nodded and then resulted back to silence once again.

It was nearly three hours before a petite woman in purple scrubs with long blonde hair came into the waiting room to notify us that Cato had been taken to a room in the northern wing. She gave all of us a sympathetic smile, before shuffling back down the hall she had come from. Each of us passed a glance toward one another before we managed to set afoot toward the northern wing. It was a fairly large hospital, and thus the northern side of the building was quite the distance from where we sat in the eastern waiting room. Our pace was fairly slow and nobody bothered to make conversation during the journey, apart from Cashmere and Gloss who whispered back and forth throughout the night.

When we rounded the last corner, I had to control my breathing, which had uncontrollably become more rapid over the past few minutes. When we finally reached the room, the majority of the group peered in to see that Cato's parents had already positioned themselves around the bed. When the two adults caught sight of us through the glass, Juliet whispered something to Cato's father. He made his way to the door, opened it swiftly, and shut it behind him.

"Thank you for coming. It means a lot to us during this time, and I'm sure Cato would be thrilled to know that you all came to support his recovery. Unfortunately, it'd be best for him if he had some rest. I can let him know that you all were here, but would you all mind coming back in the morning? I'm sure you're all exhausted," He stated. His voice was somber and worn down, but he managed his best to look appreciative of our visit.

Cashmere and Gloss were the first to issue their goodbyes to everyone, before they trudged down the hall. Marvel followed in suit, along with Clove a few metres behind. I was the last to start off toward the eastern wing, when Cato's father called out to me. When I turned, he was waving me back with a strong hand.

"Juliet and I are going to go home to grab some supplies for Cato. She thinks it would be best if you stayed with Cato for the night…that is if you don't mind?" He said, his voice more calm and steady this time around.

I couldn't vocalize any words of appreciation, so I just nodded with a smile before making my way to the door. Just as I was about to step into the room, a hand came down on my shoulder slowly.

"Remember that he needs his rest, Peeta," Cato's father reiterated again. He expressed a vague smile, which held a grand worry underneath it. I nodded once more, before making my way into the room with only a few short steps.

I noticed that the walls of the room were mostly white. There was a separate ceiling board that held with it an exquisite array of pot lights. The room had hardwood flooring, and a hardwood backwash on the wall behind the bed. The wall facing the other side of the room was made-up of glass, which revealed a beautiful landscape beyond it, though currently masked over by brown curtains. There was a burgundy couch with beige pillows and a beige throw, which matched the large bed in the middle of the room. My focus now rest on the form under the burgundy sheets, golden-blonde hair signaling that it was Cato. I began making my way over to the bed, before a figure shifting on the other side of the room captured my attention.

I had hardly noticed Cato's mother, Juliet, as she gathered the bag of Cato's supplies presumably found at the accident and placed them into her purse. She was beside the couch, frantically shoving multiple items into the designer bag. She managed to take hold of a small cylindrical object, which I recognized to be an overwhelmingly expensive lipstick. She applied the rosy pink gloss to her lips as she rounded to meet sights with me. She smiled as she twisted the cap back onto the lipstick and started across the room. I was surprised when she pulled me into an embrace, which was over as quickly as it began.

"He's very tired, honey. Doctor's say that he will make a full recovery," she stated simply. She looked completely exhausted as she spoke, but she was putting on a brave face for me, which earned my undivided respect. "Also, I had a favor to ask from you," she started, before reaching back into her purse to grab another object. "Many friends have sent Cato messages and they're wondering about his progress. I was wondering if you could contact them on Cato's behalf?" she asked. I was surprised by this request but I knew that I could not say no to her request.

"Absolutely, it would be my pleasure," I said, formally speaking.

Juliet started for the door, before halting in her tracks. "Make sure they know that he'll still be attending the brunch this weekend," she commented, before removing herself from the room. All the gratitude and admiration I had for her had washed away after her statement. I was speechless by her ability to consider the public eye before the well being of her son. I shook my head in disappointment, before walking over to Cato's bedside.

I pulled a chair from the corner of the room so that I would be able to sit beside him. It was a fairly intricate chair, woven with artistic branches throughout the backside, which ran down to caress the wooden legs. I made sure to carry the chair over in order to keep silent – I did not want to wake him while he tried to rest. When I sat down, I could hardly disregard the look of serenity in his face. The covers fit loosely on his shoulders, where his head protruded from the red sheets. His face had a few small cuts along his cheeks, and another more noticeable gash over his eyebrow. Fortunately they did not take away from his dashing looks. Ironically, they made his features all the more dark and brooding.

I quickly interlocked my left hand with his own, before reaching down to the phone in my lap. I immediately began responding to messages. There must have been at least fifty or more on his phone, which made it hard to respond to each and every message using only one hand. But I had all night, which meant that this would keep me preoccupied for a little while.

I set Cato's phone down on the dresser beside the bed, when I finally finished sending out the replies. I was overcome with fatigue and exhaustion, and my right hand was throbbing in pain from the weight of the phone and the countless movements along the touch screen phone. I passed a glance up to see that Cato remained asleep, not having moved once during his slumber. I tossed a glance at the clock on the dresser to register how late – or early – it had become. I rested my head on the side of his bed, reaching my other hand up toward the other, before cupping his single-hand with both my own. I allowed my eyes to close for a split second, which was enough to allow the nights exhaustion and my sudden weakness to consume me in a shroud of darkness.

My eyes shot open in a moments notice. I was breathing short, heavy breaths as I attempted to gasp for air. Beads of sweat ran down my face from my hairline. I looked around the room with wide eyes, panicked. I felt my hands tense, before I felt the cool skin of Cato's hand against my own blistering touch. My breathing became shallower and I began to calm down when I realized that Cato and I were together, in the hospital. My nightmare was over, and I was thankful for the relief of Cato's beeping monitor signaling that his heart was beating as steady as ever.

I wiped the sweat from my head, and reached over slowly to grab Cato's phone by his bedside. There were only a few emails from clothing companies that he had subscribed to, alongside a couple messages from family and friends. Most were replies to my earlier update, thankful that I had sent them some sort of reassurance during the night. Other messages were from unknowing team members who were concerned about his whereabouts, considering the early practice this morning. When I finally checked the clock on the wall, I noticed that I had slept for only five hours, and it was now nine in the morning.

The shuffling of footsteps at the doorstep took me from my thoughts, and I looked up to see that Cato's parents had arrived.

"Glad to see that you're awake," Cato's father confessed.

"Royal and I stopped by earlier to check-in, and we seen that you had fallen asleep next to him. We didn't want to disturb you, so we went and bought some coffee down the street. That reminds me, here's yours," Juliet stated. She reached for the tray of coffee in her husband's hands, and searching for the right one, lifted a large paper cup from it. Her high heels clicked against the hardwood floor as she eagerly walked over to me. I reached out a hand to accept the coffee and issued a small 'thank you' in her general direction.

"We assumed that you wouldn't be attending school today, and don't worry about Juliet or I saying anything to your parents about attendance," Royal stated. It was really weird for me to refer to them by their first names, but it was gradually growing on me lately. "Why don't you get yourself cleaned up?" Royal suggested. "We'll let you know if anything changes while you're gone," he added lastly.

I smiled in return, before pulling myself from the bed. I was unsure if either noticed our hands interlocking with one another, but I managed to disregard the thought as I started out the door and down the hall. I raced to my car in the parking lot, which was situated as close to the doors as possible. It wasn't long before the car roared to life and I was zipping out of the parking lot, not bothering to wave at Gloss and the others who were starting for the doors eagerly.

The ride home was fairly quick, considering I took the shortest route and the fog from the night before had dwindled away throughout the morning. When I reached the house, I turned the car off quickly, opened the door, and raced for the steps. I noticed that Gale's car was still in the parking lot, but I didn't bother to check the living room as I marched up the stairs toward the bedroom without a second glance over the railing.

I grabbed a quick outfit from my dresser, which consisted of a tight, black, v-neck t-shirt with red stripes on the sleeves along with a pair of skinny black jeans and a matching red belt. I heard shuffling downstairs but I barreled for the bathroom, slamming the door behind me as I heard talking in my bedroom down the hall. The hot water felt amazing against my skin. It arched down my back from my shoulders, and dripped over my tailbone before slim-lining down to the base of the bathtub. When I tilted my head back into the water, it felt like the warm summer breeze shooting through my dirty blonde locks. I didn't bother to enjoy the warmth of the shower for long, considering my mind kept racing back to Cato. Would he wake up soon? Was he already awake? I kept asking myself.

When I managed to pull myself from the warm water, dry myself with a blue towel, and gather my clothes to get dressed, I noticed movement outside the door. I quickly ran some hair wax through my hair, before opening the door to see Katniss and Gale.

"Hey! How's Cato doing?" Katniss asked, before Gale spoke over her.

"We thought you might stay the night. We were just heading over there now to meet you…before you stomped through the door like you were on a mission," Gale stated.

"In a hurry to get back," I said quickly, gathering my old clothes from the floor and pushing my way past them.

"Do you mind if we come back with you?" Katniss asked, her voice ringing out in the distance as I threw the clothes in the basket in my closet.

"Whatever you want to do," I replied simply. I pushed past them a second time, before heading down the stairs. Katniss and Gale quickly followed in suit. When I reached the front counter, I grabbed a freshly made pastry for myself and grabbed Tupperware to store some peanut butter triple layered cake in it – which I would bring to Cato for dessert. I grabbed some fruit and a few other healthy choices, along with a sandwich and added them to a separate container. "See you guys at the hospital!" I called out, slamming the door behind me.

The ride back to the hospital was just as quick as the ride home. Unfortunately my parking spot was occupied when I reached the parking lot, so I had to park a few sections down, which required quite a lengthy walk to the front doors. It took me a few minutes before I finally reached the northern wing, where I recalled that Cato's room was located there. When I rounded the corner, I nearly dropped the food in my hands in a fury.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I yelled, which caused a few panicked glances from medical staff.

I watched as Finnick closed the distance between us. He took the Tupperware from my hands, and passed them over to Cashmere.

"That's not for you!" I shouted, this time cut-off by Finnick's force. He pushed me consistently, as I almost lost my footing several times. I went to speak again, but he rounded the corner with me and the next I knew we were alone in an empty room. The door closed with a loud slam that echoed across the empty room.

"I heard about the accident, and I came to make sure that you were all right," Finnick whispered. His eyes were filled with compassion and worry. His expression still contained that superb jawline, which currently flowed smoothly into his rosy lips.

"Really?" I asked, curiously. "You're not here to cause anymore drama? Because as I see it, Cato really doesn't want to see you," I added.

"Really," Finnick responded. "And I don't want there to be conflict between us. I really just wanted to make sure that you were okay…" Finnick's voice trailed off.

As if instinctively, I started to sob uncontrollably. I felt Finnick's arms rap themselves around me, and I allowed my hands to clasp his back. I had been containing all this emotion for the past few weeks. What had started out as guilt had turned into confusion and fear since last night's events. I finally knew that it was time to let go of all the pain that was wrenching itself over my mind and allow myself to feel sadness. Finnick whispered reassurance into my ear as I continued to sob. My body was heaving uncontrollably and my hands were shaking against his shirt. I felt my hands perspiring and I knew that he would be able to feel it through his shirt, which couldn't disgust me in the moment considering how upset I currently am.

All of the sadness came to an end when Cato's mother, Juliet opened the door to see Finnick and I embracing, tears pooling down my face.

"Cato just woke up. He's asking for you," Juliet said, smiling. Her face was filled with relief and happiness, which overwhelmed my sadness with hope.

I pulled myself from Finnick's arms and raced for the door. Before I would pull myself into the hall, I took a glance back to where Finnick was sitting.

"Thank you, Finnick. Thank you," I said, and he shifted his gaze toward me and managed a small smile. I knew how he felt, and he respected how I felt. Things will get better, I said to myself.

I rounded the hallway and crossed past the multitude of beds that lined the hallway until I closed in on the room. Cashmere, Gloss, Marvel, Glimmer and Clove were in the hall before being joined by Juliet and Royal. When I reached the room, Cashmere passed me the Tupperware container of food containing all the variety of delicacies. I smiled at them, before opening the door and walking slowly into the room. The door slowly skidded to a close as I passed a glance back to see all the others heading down the hall, presumably to the cafeteria. It was just about noon now, so surely it would be filled with patients and family all around.

I shook myself from my thoughts as I closed the distance between Cato's bedside and myself. He was watching football on the television next to him, which made me feel better.

"Don't even think about getting back into football right now," I said sarcastically. Both of us knew that with his injuries he would need to miss a few games, but with a quick recovery he could partake in the capitol game in a few weeks time.

"You sound like my mother," Cato chimed back jokingly. His cuts on his face didn't look that much better than the night before, but his smile added a tinge of gleam to the painful expression.

"Did I just get family-zoned?" I asked with a low chuckle.

"Is that your attempt at the friend-zone concept?" Cato replied, laughing alongside me. He cringed a little as he held his side, where he had fractured a few ribs.

"I come bearing gifts," I said next, hoping to bring some joy to the tension between us. I still hadn't received an answer about things between us and the incident with Finnick.

"Must be my lucky day," Cato replied with a grin.

I rounded his bedside, where the chair I had slept in the previous night still lay against his bed. I sat down with a heavy force, before slowly removing the lids from the Tupperware containers.

"Smells amazing," Cato stated, wafting his hand in front of his nose as he inhaled the scent of all the delicious treats I had brought for him.

"I have a sandwich, a whole bunch of different fruits – strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, watermelon – a little bit of coleslaw and an irresistible cake for dessert," I said. His expression lit up at the thought of cake, which made me smile and shake my head.

"You're amazing, you know that right?" Cato whispered. The statement took me off-guard, and I immediately blushed a bright red color – which nearly matched his bed sheets. I had to finally accept the compliment after a series of replies from both parties, which brought a smile to my face. I could never win with this boy, I thought to myself.

"Here, take a bit of this," I said.

"Dessert before the meal?" Cato inquired, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Always. Now stop talking and take a bite, you'll love it," I replied. I brought the fork up to his mouth, where he slowly placed his teeth along the metal and seductively pulled the peanut butter and chocolate explosion into his mouth. His eyes rolled back as he closed them, and he expressed a low moan at the taste.

"You're going to make me lose my abs if you keep this up while I sit in this bed for the next few days," Cato smirked. His eyes were gleaming as the sun through the window laced against them.

"Not the best version of a date that I was imagining," I started, "but I'm glad that you like the food." I smiled as I averted my gaze in obvious shame. I felt responsible for his accident. If I had not slept with Finnick this would not have happened in the first place. I wouldn't have had to invite him to meet me on a foggy night and we wouldn't be here right now. But I had to face the guilt head-on this time. I couldn't keep avoiding it any longer, or else it would tear away at everything good in my life.

My train of thought was interrupted when Cato trailed his hand over to rest on mine. I looked up to see him looking at me with glimmering blue eyes that held no accusation, but only the sweet look of happiness and tenderness.

"It's perfect," Cato replied, and everything else drowned out. It was just Cato and I…together. Nothing else mattered; all the worries we had could wait for another day. Until then everything would be perfect. Because as long as we're together, nothing could take this moment away from us.

Author's Note: Voila! The next chapter! This one may be a bit of a downer compared to the others, but take everything in stride and remember to cherish every moment. I know the last chapter was a major cliffhanger so I decided to keep things relatively "calm" in this chapter…for now. ~ B