I'm sorry all my stories are taking so long to update.
Work is killing me - nearly literally.
Anyway, enjoy this chapter while you can.
I've decided I have dragged out this nonsense long enough and am starting to drag it in now.
A few more chapters and I will end this story too haha.
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I never expected this to get over 100 :D

It was much to the amusement of Sasori that Kakashi, Shikamaru, Choji, Asuma and Ino returned to him after a few hours of planning with an actual plan on how to stop the sandstorms.
Apparently, Kakashis Sharingan has the ability to send objects into another dimension… So why not sand?
Granted, it was going to be a very tedious job on the Copy Nins part and if the plan was carried out it would basically spell the end of his freedom.
But oh well, Sasori could really care less anyway.
As long as he kept the sand out of Suna everything would be fine…

"Hey! Hey you! Hida- uh I mean… Kakashi!"

Hidan turned to look at the small group of people approaching him.
Deidara was back accompanied by two others that he couldn't yet see properly.
He sighed.
At least it wasn't Iruka come back for more cuddling and snuggles…
I swear that man has a crush on me…
It had taken Hidan 15 whole minutes to pry Iruka away from him and another 10 to find a reason to get him to leave.
Randomly crying out, "Oh no there is a dying gennin over there!" seemed to do the trick.
He would be lying if he said that talking to Iruka wasn't interesting though, even while he WAS trying to get rid of the man.
Apparently, and much to Hidans amusement, Hanabi Hyuuga had been charged with causing grievous bodily harm, assault, possessing a weapon and attempted murder among other things.
He almost felt sorry for the little brat.
But then… She was only ten, maybe she would get off easy?
Whatever the case, Iruka had finally left and Hidan had headed off to find a memorial stone that Naruto mentioned the real Kakashi spent time at.
He never got there.

"Kakashi! Hold up, yeah!?"

Sighing, Hidan turned around to stare boredly at Deidara as he bounced over to him followed by an unknown girl and…
His eyes widened comically before he pounced.

"SASORI YOU BASTARD! WHY WOULD YOU SEND HIM IN TO TORMENT ME!?"

Gaara once again found himself pinned to the ground dodging fists that came his way.
Safe to say, he wasn't too pleased about it.
But from what he had heard, Hidan was immortal, right?
So that means…

"SAND COFFIN!"

"AARGH WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Deidara and Konan watched on in silence as the Kazekage and Hidan had their own little battle, lost in their own world.
Hidans hand had been crushed beyond recognition by Gaaras sand but it didn't stop him from using it.
They winced in unison as the broken limb slapped Gaara a few times.
The fight continued for a moment more before Konan realized they were attracting unwanted attention.
It definitely would not do for Kakashi to be seen punching the Kazekage.
Grabbing Hidans shirt in one hand and Gaaras in the other, she picked them up and lifted them in the air until their feet were off the ground.
Growling lowly at them, Konan ground out,

"This is Kazekage Gaara, this is Hidan. Now both of you shut up and let's find somewhere to walk."

"So… You are okay with being kidnapped and impersonated…?"

"Yes."

"Uh huh… So why are you agreeing to all of this?"

"Because it's funny"

Hidan raised an eyebrow at the smirking Kazekage.
Who seriously helped out criminals because they thought it was funny?
From beside them, Deidara scowled,

"Prick, un…"

To which Gaaras smirk grew even more.

"I'm sorry Kazekage-sama… But even though we HAVE found the solution to your sandstorm problems, we cannot stay here forever to fend them off…"

Sasori listened in annoyance as Shikamaru listed off the many reasons why Kakashi Hatake was needed in the Hidden Leaf Village.
Whatever, he didn't really care.
Cutting off the intelligent shinobi before he could start on the list properly, Sasori yawned,

"I understand that Kakashi Hatake cannot stay. My asking of you to find a solution to my problems was just a test."

Asuma and Ino raised simultaneous eyebrows.

"A… test?"

Sasori nodded and watched them all carefully.
They stared back at him, waiting for an answer that Sasori didn't have.
Give him some credit after all, he was improvising on the spot.
And no doubt he would have continued to do so had a messenger nin not ruined the entire thing…

The doors of the Kazekage office slammed and a very confused looking man entered the room.
Glancing around at the shinobi gathered in front of the desk, the man cleared his throat and held a scroll before himself awkwardly,

"We received a message from the Hokage, Kazekage-sama…"

Sasori nodded for the man to continue.
For his part, the messenger stumbled over his words with more grace than other men in his situation would.
His current task of informing the Kazekage of Tsunades letter was a troublesome one…

"The Hokage, Tsunade apologises to you…"

Sasori furrowed his brows and tilted his head.
Why the hell was he getting an apology?
The messenger seemed to foretell his confusion and continued,

"She sends her apologies… And has promised that Ino Yamanaka will be punished for her crimes."

Ino jumped on the spot and whirled around in shock.

"Excuse me? I will be punished for what crimes?!"

Sasori unconsciously tugged on the collar of his robes, well aware that whatever was about to come out of the messengers mouth was going to have been Deidaras doing.
Looking nervous as hell, the man continued,

"According to the message scroll… You… Punched the Kazekage repeatedly…"

Ino shrieked in shock, horror and disbelief before snatching wildly for the scroll the man shakily held.
While her eyes grew wide as she read the charges against her, the messenger pulled out another scroll and read,

"We also have a summons for Kakashi Hatake."

The Copy Nins head snapped in the direction of the guard and his visible eye narrowed.
While Ino fell to the floor in hysterics behind him, Kakashi moved towards the man and rolled his hand, insinuating that the messenger should elaborate.
Grinning nervously and voice squeaking under the intensifying pressure in the room, he read out,

"You are required to go through a medical examination after you were very nearly dismembered and stabbed through the heart by a 10 year old… And… You also have charges against you…"

Sasori watched the scene with interest, knowing that the chances were, if they figured out that there were imposters in Konoha (which they would) he himself posing as the Kazekage would probably be safe.
Asuma, Choji and Shikamaru furrowed their brows and frowned at all the strange information that had apparently come direct from the Hokage.
Choji comforted Ino on the floor as she gasped through sobs of disbelief and shock.
Kakashi had narrowed his eyes further at the messenger, who was now sweating.
Reading the last of the words on the scroll, he finished,

"You are charged with indecent sexual relations with a student."

Whatever Kakashi expected, it wasn't that.
Letting his cool demeanour slip, he hesitantly stuttered,

"Wh-what student?"

Gulping and raising his hands defensively in preparation for the worst, the messenger whispered,

"Ino Yamanaka…"

Sasori squeezed his eyes shut in annoyance.
He didn't know what the hell Hidan and Deidara had been doing (and he didn't WANT to know) but why why why did it all have to come out now…?
Kakashis mouth had dropped open in shock at the revelation.
He glanced around the room in disbelief, his eye falling upon Asuma who was glaring accusingly at him and looking very much like he was considering becoming a missing nin and killing Kakashi on the spot.
Ino, too, looked shocked and was shaking her head and letting out strange noises to dispute what had been said.
Sighing, rubbing his forehead and inching away from Asuma, Kakashi murmured,

"I think… There has been a horrible, horrible mistake…"

Sasori tried to cover up a snigger at the events before him.
It wasn't really THAT funny…
Well yes it was, but now wasn't the time to laugh about it.
If Deidara and Hidan weren't out of Konoha now, then that is their own fault.
Sasori had delayed Kakashi and Ino for over 2 days – that should be enough.

"Are you sure there has been a mistake, Kakashi…?"

All eyes flew to Asuma as Sasori was ripped from his thoughts.
Kakashi raised an eyebrow before furrowing it in confusion.
Pointing at the Copy Nin, Asuma continued,

"I recall seeing you with a bloodstained jounin jacket and a very serious looking wound to your chest a few days ago. Are you SURE there has been a mistake?"

Choji piped up in agreement,

"Now that you mention it, we did see Kakashi covered in blood… He paid you the money you owed him and you gave him your jacket in exchange for his bloodied one."

Asuma nodded without taking his eyes off Kakashi.
A very heated glare was being focused upon his team mate and the Copy Nin wasn't sure he liked it.
Sasori didn't either.
Clearing his throat, the puppet master waved his hand in dismissal,

"Well it sounds like you all have a lot to work out… I suppose you should probably head back to Konoha and sort out who has been punching Kages and who has been having secret affairs with students behind everyones backs…"

Then, unable to help himself, Sasori added,

"It would explain why you are always so late you know, Kakashi…"

Asumas glare darkened as Shikamaru nodded to Sasori in farewell and dragged the two jounins out of the room.
Choji followed, as did the guard.
Ino stayed behind however, glancing at the Kazekage with tearful eyes and biting her lip.
Sasori couldn't help but feel a little bit bad for her.
She HAD been accused of copulating with her best friends sensei after all..
Not to mention hitting a superior.
She sniffed slightly and whispered to Sasori,

"I didn't hit you, Gaara… Did I?"

Sasori momentarily pondered whether or not he should tell her the truth or lie.
He stayed silent for a moment, observing the girl before him.
Ino probably had her share of mistakes in her lifetime, but the penalty for attacking a Kage was death.
Sasori doubted she deserved that.
Not to mention that Gaara would probably step in before it could be carried out anyway.
Shaking his head, Sasori replied,

"No, Ino. You did not."

She visibly sighed with relief and a few tears fell from her eyes.

"Go back to Konoha with the others, everything will be sorted out there."

Ino nodded tearfully and turned to leave.
When she had her hand on the door knob, Sasori called,

"And don't worry…"

Ino glanced back to find him sitting back in his chair grinning coyly.

"I know you aren't in a relationship of any kind with Kakashi.'

When she had left, Sasori sighed and buried his face in his palms,

"I don't care that I will live forever, I am way too old for this…"

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I am too old to be writing (not really)
19 isnt too old is it? Is it!?

I didnt think so...

As always, leave your rates, reviews, complaints and excuses after the beep!
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP