Disclaimer: Tolkien stole it from us, we hates him, WE HATES THEM ALL! Not to be taken literally.

There are going to be time lapses between chapters because I like doing only the funny stuff.

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"We have arrived at Fedoras!" Gandalf exclaimed. "This is the home of the fedora obsession of Rohan. Beware: the people in black fedoras are" here he lowered his voice, "feds."

"Aaah! Feds!" Gimli shouted.

"Aaah! Fedoras!" Legolas screamed.

"Gimli. why are you scared of the feds?" Aragorn asked.

"Stole a few gems from over in Osgiliath a few decades ago," Gimli admitted sheepishly. "You should be asking Legolas why he's afraid of fedoras."

"Legolas?" Aragorn turned to the elf.

"They are just so unfashionable that all people who wear them are scarily stupid to me," Legolas blushed. " Those hats are monstrosities!"

"Okay, shut up about your nonsensical phobias and let's go!" Gandalf said grumpily. " Open up!" he shouted to the guard in the watchtower. "We have come to see King Théoden!"

"No," the guard replied. "I am under orders not to let any strangers in."

"We have the power of fangirls!" the remainder of the Fellowship called out in unison. That did the trick. The guard whimpered in fear as he opened the gate.

"Please, don't set the fangirls on me!" he sobbed as the man, wizard, elf and dwarf rode into the city.

The king's guard stopped them at the entrance to the Golden Hall. "No-one enters the Hall of Meduseld armed! Drop your weapons!" Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli dropped their weapons.

"I need this staff to walk," Gandalf said. The guard opened his mouth to object, but Gandalf cut in. "Even if you take this magic stick thing from me, we still wield a weapon that cannot be removed."

"What is it?"

"You don't want to know!" Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli chorused.

"Coming from three such noble men... elves... dwarves... people, I am sure that this staff is barely a child's toy. You may enter," the guard said. "I am going to be in major trouble for this," he added under his breath.

As they walked in, the king's niece, Éowyn, checked out each of the visitors in turn. "Ooh, short funny dwarf," she thought as Gimli tripped when he was walking past her. "Ooh, tall stylish elf," she thought as Legolas walked past with visible confidence. "Ooh, ninja magician," she thought as Gandalf's robes swept up the layers of grime off the floor. "Ooooooh, finally a cool guy that's actually the same species as me. Wonder if he's single," she wondered heir to the throne of Gondor walked by in giant strides.

"Lucky you," Aragorn smiled as he playfully punched Gandalf, forgetting about the perils of it for a moment. "You get to keep your - uh-oh," he was cut off by a fangirly shriek.

"Hi, I, like, love, like, you, Aragorn! Look!" here Fandalf ripped open his robes to show an "I love Aragorn" t-shirt.

"How many of those do you think he has?" Legolas whispered to Gimli, pointing at the shirt. The dwarf mumbled back, "Probably one for each of us. Fear for your life, my friend".

Then Éowyn joined in. "I love Aragorn too! Let's make a fanclub!" She took out a set of blank badges and a permanent marker and a minute later, she and Fandalf were squealing in joy at their matching "I love Aragorn" badges.

"Hi new friendzie, I'll introduce you to my uncle and we can have sleep-overs to gossip about Aragorn!"

"Hello, King Théo-something! I'm your FAAAN!" Fandalf said.

"Aaah! Get me away from this horror!" the voice of Saruman screeched through the body of Théoden. The disembodied ghost of the wizard floated through the roof and flew towards Orthanc.

"Take me with you!" Gríma squealed and ran out the door.

Legolas and Gimli got themselves together and started comforting Aragorn, who was rocking back and and forth on the ground with his thumb in his mouth and Éowyn stuck on his back.

"There, there," Legolas patted Aragorn on the back, "she'll get off someday."

"What does he have to do for you to get off?" Gimli asked Éowyn. The Shieldmaiden tapped her cheek expectantly.

"I can't do that! That's cheating on Arwen!" Aragorn wailed.

"Fine, be stuck with her for the rest of your life," Gimli grunted. Aragorn quickly gave Éowyn a peck on the cheek, and the girl skipped off towards Fandalf, who was trying to revive Théoden by wailing "I'm your FAAAN!"

"Want to have a sleepover so we can gooooooooosssiiiiiiiiiiiip?" Éowyn asked the wizard.

"Sure," Fandalf replied, squealing in joy. Éowyn kicked her uncle in the stomach and the king of Rohan jolted awake.

"Who's attacking?" he bellowed.

"Uncle! Can I have a sleepover?" Éowyn squeaked.

"Oh. Sure," Théoden calmed down and went back to fighting off the remainders of Saruman.

"Yay!" screamed Éowyn and Fandalf in deafening unison. They grabbed each other's forearms to do a joy dance, but then Gandalf returned.

"What the hell am I doing?" he asked the rest. The chorus of "It was Fandalf" explained it all to him. They woke up Théoden again, got Éowyn out of the room and started talking seriously.

-When they were leaving-

"Gimli, you are under arrest for armed robbery!" a guard with a black fedora shouted as they were leaving the Golden Hall.

"Dammit," the dwarf grunted. The group mounted Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Mi Amora Cadenza* and got ready to run away, but then King Théoden arrived and degraded the guard to an errand-boy for trying to arrest one of the warriors that were going to help them.

"No one hurts Aragorn and his friends!" Éowyn's shriek could be heard from Meduseld.

*My Little Pony characters. Friendship is Magic!

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Sorry for the long wait. It's been taking me ages to type this because of my mom not wanting me to have such "nonsense" on my laptop. I have plenty of ideas, just limited time to write! Also, might be posting a few drabbles soon. Typing them up as soon as I can. Buh-bye!