Chapter 12

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Spencer POV

Hot, bright sunlight shining in my face makes me wrinkle my nose as I turn my head to bury it in my very warm pillow…a pillow that smells heavily of sawdust, hay, peppermint, tobacco, and Old Spice body wash.

"Old Spice? Saw dust?" I think sleepily, my brows furrowing in confusion. After a few seconds I decide it doesn't really matter, letting my exhaustion and absolute comfort win me over. I just shrug my shoulders and cuddle closer to the wonderfully scented pillow.

My eyes snap open when a deep groan resounds from somewhere above me as well as the sudden movement from under me. I lift my head up, immediately meeting a pair of sleepy, yet still stunning, chocolate eyes.

Ashley stares back at me in silent shock. After a moment I start to slowly sit up but I abruptly find that I can't. I look down to find that Ashley had looped her arms around my waist sometime during the night. Looking back up, I see that I had returned the favor; my arms are tightly clinched around her torso. I blush hotly realizing that the pillow I had been nuzzling my face into just happens to be her breasts.

When I look back up at her she's watching me with hesitant eyes.

The marine clears her throat, "G'mornin' Spencer?" She asks more than says, her voice unbelievably more husky due to drowsiness.

I lick my suddenly dry licks. Geez that's…sexy.

Flushing, once again, at my own thoughts, I reply, "Good morning to you too, Ash."

She grins that nose crinkling smile and sits up, keeping me cradled to her chest. My breath hitches in my throat when she shifts causing the abs under my hand over her tank top to flex. Never before have I felt like this for anyone. Not once. But at this very moment sitting in this woman's embrace it feels amazing. It feels…safe.

"Um I'm sorry for fallin' asleep. I must have been mighty tired or somethin'. My apologies, ma'am." Ashley rasps, removing one of her hands from my hip too run it through her thick curls.

I giggle at her sleepy expression. "It's fine, Ashley. No harm one. I did invite you to stay after all."

She shrugs and smiles. "You did, I suppose."

A soft whine has us both looking over at the fireplace where Rocco is laying fast asleep with his feet moving about crazily like he was running.

Ashley chuckles. "I wonder what he is dreamin' 'bout… probably chasin' a dream rabbit."

I giggle. "He is so funny."

I feel her nod in agreement. "He is. I have to say he is most likely the best friend I've had. He is always there for me y'know? Always sitting and listening to me without judgment... who ever said dogs were man's best friend had it right."

I shyly lay my head on her shoulder. "I imagine he is. The twins adore him…maybe I should consider getting a puppy when they get a little bigger."

She leans us both back against the arm of the couch before replying. "I would consider it if I were you. Dogs are wonderful. There is something about them that can always brighten your day no matter what. They have a way of helping…a dejected hearts."

I look away from a still sleeping Rocco to gaze into her unexpectedly tear filled eyes. I reach a hand to her cheek, turning her face towards mine. "How did he save you?" I whisper to her.

She closes her eyes, allowing tears to escape.

We sit in silence for a little over five minutes before she decides to talk to me. "A little over a year ago I lost someone very close to me. He was my best friend since we were a few years old… He was like the brother I never had. We did everything together: fishin', huntin', ridin' horses, ridin' motorcycles, chasin' girls, and hell we even shared birthday parties since our birthdays were only a week apart. We did everything."

I shift off her lap, quickly repositioning so she could nestle her head into my neck. She responds to the change of position by wrapping her arms tighter around my hips, pulling me into her side. For once in my life I didn't even care about the closeness of another person. She needs someone and I'm going to be that someone no matter what that entitles at the moment. Seeing such a strong person cry is unnerving. It shouldn't happen; especially to one so heart-breakly beautiful.

She continues, "Shawn and I were in the Marines since we were seventeen. We requested to stay in the same units and eventually we even became partners… I was a sniper and he was my spot man. We were a good team. Some may have argued that we were the best…" She trails off lost in thought.

I tighten my hold on her body and wait for her to continue. She squeezes me back in acknowledgment. "Anyway, we were sent out overseas to take out three special targets…once our job was done we were meetin' back up at the rally point when we cornered…he died givin' me a chance to get away… They all blame me. His family. My family. Our friends. Everyone does."

She has tears rolling down her face by this point of the story. I press my forehead against the side of her head. "It's okay, Ash. Shhhh, it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong. I can tell you that wouldn't have just let that happen. You are a brave woman; I know you would have fought if you could have. If they blame you, they don't have any intelligence and understanding of true family whatsoever. "

She sniffles against me. "Thank you, Spencer, but it's not just that. What's worse is that his sacrifice almost went to waste. I nearly died in those tunnels. If I had, his life would have been given up for nothin'."

I pull away from her in shock. "What do you mean? You almost died?"

She looks into my wide eyes for what seemed like forever before sighing and pulling away from me to stand in front of the couch. She shrugs out of her long sleeve shirt and pulls off her tank top until she was all the way stripped down to her black sports bra.

My eyes widen even more at the five large round scars painted on her otherwise perfect tan skin. Without thinking I reach out to touch and trace over one of the two scars on her lower abdomen, lightly running my fingers across it.

The brunette's stomach jumps slightly at the contact but quickly relaxes. I look up to gaze into her face, about to ask if what I was doing was okay, but when I see the look of pure relaxation and pleasure written across her face, I decide to continue. Slowly my hand travels to the twin abdominal scar then gradually up to the one engraved onto her abs, to the one on decorating her ribcage, and lastly to the biggest one up on her chest.

Her hand lands on the top of my head. "The doctors said I was extremely lucky to be alive. They have no idea how I survived besides my pure will and stubbornness to live."

I grab her calloused hand and tug her back on the couch. "You still have a purpose, Ash. You are still here with us for a reason. Just you watch." I whisper somewhat bashfully. Her intense brown eyes search my own for a moment.

"I hope you're right Spencer." She mumbles.

I smile and wipe the leftover tears from her handsome face. "I have a good feeling about it." I don't know what or how but I know whatever she's here for its going to be great.

"God, I'm a mess. Look at me cryin' all over ya. I'm not a nutcase, I promise." She jokes halfheartedly.

I smile sadly at the sadness in her voice. "Hey! Do you know what cheers everyone up?" I say excitedly.

She shakes her head. "No. What?"

I stand up and tighten my grip on her hand that I'd forgot I was still holding. "My Grandma Carlin's famous apple pie! And I just happen to have everything for it."

She chuckles while looking down at her watch. "But it's only 8:47 in the mornin'. Isn't too early for desserts?"

I laugh. "I think we can break that rule this morning. Don't you? I think we could use I nice freshly baked pie."

She laughs heartily. "I can agree with that!"

I start pulling out ingredients. "If you want there are towels under the sink in the bathroom. You can take a shower that may help you feel better as well." I suggest.

She nods and smiles gratefully. "That sounds good. I keep extra clothes and stuff in the truck just in case. Ya never know what'll happen y'know?"

She walks out front to get her stuff as I shuffle around the kitchen. It's nice to finally know what the reason was for that sadness in her eyes. I can't believe what that poor wonderful woman went though. I also can't understand how people can blame that superb woman for that man's death. It's awfully obvious that she had loved him. They were like siblings and no one wants anything to happen to their family… We all want what's best for them. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose Glen or Madi.

My thoughts are interrupted by two sets of feet padding through the kitchen. "G'morning, Mommy." The boys greet me at the same time.

"Good morning, my babies." I say brightly and engulf them both in a hug before placing multiple kisses to each of their cheeks.

They both giggle when I release them, letting them climb onto their boosters. "Did Ashy swend the night, Mommy?" Scotty asks through a yawn.

"Yes she did." I answer, kneading the dough for the pie crust.

"Why?"

"Because we fell asleep on the couch watching movies."

"Oh." Scotty pauses, "I like her." He continues.

"I do too. She nice. And pweety." Skylar says quietly, petting Rocco who must have just woke up as well.

I smile and turn to my sons. "I like her too, guys. And I also think she's very pretty as well."

Scotty smiles. "I wike her more than Daddy; she doesn't be scawy and be mean to you. She makes you smiwe and waugh."

I tear up at the look on both the boy's face. "I like her way more too babies. I like her a lot."

"Yay!" they cry together and clap.

I laugh and ruffle both their hair. "Do you think we could talk her into showing us where a park's at today?"

"I'm sure I can manage that." Ashley's raspy voice from over by the doorway makes me jump. I then redden in the cheeks when I realize she could have heard me and the boy's talking.

I look down at my hands; my earlier courage from this morning is gone. "Th-that would be great."

Her hand is suddenly under my chin. She angles my face up, making me look into her face. "I think it'll be fun. When we get back you and I can figure out something to do with that extra room. Whatcha say?"

I smile slowly and nod. "Sounds great."

She returns my smile. "Awesome! While this pie's cookin' why don't ya go take a shower while I watch it and the two youngins here?"

"I will. Thanks, Ash."

"No problem."

11:25

Ash and I are sitting on an old wooden park bench watching the boys as they play in the sandbox a few feet away.

After eating a slice of pie, Ashley drove us up to a nice little park out by a small church. It's a simple park with only a handful of toys but it pretty, relaxing, and the boys are enjoying it and that's all that matters.

Slowly, I lean to where I'm resting against Ashley's side. Just as slowly, she wraps her arm around my shoulders in a comforting embrace. I have no idea where the sudden need of physical contact came from but I can't seem to help myself round this brutally beautiful ex-marine.

"Ashley? Ashley Davies, is that you over there?" A woman's voices calls from across the street in front of a beauty salon.

Ashley looks up and when she spots the woman she grins. "Yea, it's me Chels."She calls back.

The dark skinned woman hurrying across the road is probably in her early thirties with shoulder length curly black hair and bright almond colored eyes matched with a blinding smile.

"I've been wandering where you ran off to but…" her eyes wander over me with open curiosity and her smile widens, "I now see."

Ashley sighs and raises an eyebrow at the woman with a short chuckle. "Yeah. I've been workin' with Miss Spencer."

She throws her hand out excitedly out to me. "Hi! I'm Chelsea Lewis. You must be the lady who bought the old Vickers' place. It's so nice to meet you."

I smile and nervously place my hand in her's. "Yes I am. My name is Spencer Carlin. Those two are my sons Scott and Skylar." I say, gesturing to the twins beside us.

Chelsea looks over at the boys and smiles even wider. She is one happy person.

"They are precious! My husband Clay and I have been trying for a baby. It could happen any time now." She says happily.

"Children are a joy." I say fondly, "I believe I met your husband; he sold me the house. He's like a very nice man."

Chelsea nods. "He really is. We've been together since our freshman year of high school. I couldn't ask for a better husband."

All of a sudden I'm hit with an irrational wave of sadness. I wish I could've said that about Aiden. At lease her children will have a father who actually cares about them and loves them. One that won't scream, or throw things, or hurt their mother. A loving father…

Sensing my change of mood Ashley, tightens her hold on me and tells Chelsea that she'd stop by sometime and have coffee. Before skipping off to her car, Chelsea give Ash a side hug, says a cheerful good bye to me, and waves happily at the boys.

Once she was gone, Ashley grabs my hand tightly in her slightly bigger one. "Talk to me Spence. Are you okay?"

I fiddle with a button her shirt. "I'm fine."

She snorts and rubs her hand up and down my arm. "Spence, Darlin', you looked like you were gonna cry for a moment there."

I sigh. "After this morning's talk I think you deserve an explanation." I clear move throat gently, "I moved all the way out here because my brother Glen thought it would be better for me and the boys."

I feel Ashley tense up beside me. "Why would it be better out here, honey?"

Tears prick at my eyes. "My, uh, my husband wasn't the best…person in the world. He, um, well…"

Ashley wipes a tear from my face with her thumb. "What did he do, Darlin'?" She encourages me gently.

I sniffle and take a deep breathe. "He was a- was a... He was abusive. Really abusive."

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