A/N: I AM SO SO SORRY ABOUT THIS DELAY ON AROUND 2 MONTHS! But I had a minor writer's block halfway through, and then I thought I wanted to make it longer, and get it beta'ed!
Then I have been busy, being with my friends and stuff like that. So even if I've had two week-long holidays (that's jow it is in Denmark! DK FTW!) I haven't had much time! I've also worked on a oneshot... That I'm actually scared of...
I am very happy about those who have reviewed, subscribed or favorited! You're one of my biggest reasons to actually check my email.
This was beta'ed by WinterLake25! She's a very good author check her out!
Chapter 6:
Weeks passed, and I was introduced to only one new person. I wasn't not sure I'd be capable of getting anything right if I had to meet anymore new. Oh well, this bastard's name is Roderich Edelstein, apparently an good friend of Tomato Bastard, and I can see why Elizaveta likes him. Roderich plays piano, therefore I'll call him Piano Bastard. I've been around Alishia and Maddie a lot, and listening to them talking about their cousin/sister, respectively, Ally. And being forced to be around her. She's getting on my damn nerves.
...Because I was around them, somehow Potato 2, Pervert and Tomato Bastard also were. I think Potato 2 likes Maddie, and somehow, even if they would forever deny it, Pervert and Alishia might also feel something for each other.
...Now I guess you'll think it's the same with me and Tomato Bastard. It. Is. Not! I-I might f-feel someth-thing (No I don't), but that imbecile does not. H-he always looks at Bella in this way. I'm not sure, but it's a lot like how Maddie and Potato 2 look at each other, and the same with Elizaveta. And Pervert and Alishia, even if they will deny it. Nothing has happened since when h-he slept over at Ciro's. And I did NOT enjoy it! Shut up.
..:::––––––:::..
Even if I might be rather good at Spanish, I have never used it. I tried once and for all to avoid using it because I'm scared of which memory will appear. It's scary, even if you bastards might not think so. It is so fucking scary to remember all that stuff, because I do not need to get fucking reminded about it. It could be one of those where José taught me reading, writing, mathematics, Spanish, anything! He was like my fucking father. It could also be while we were out in city, to do some damn work for my real papa. And it could also be that memory. I don't want to remember it. It's the most scary of all my memories.
"–ina, Lovina, are you listening? Translate the sentence on the blackboard, por favor~"
Oh, seems like I gotten a bit off track... Spanish lesson, blackboard. 'Will you dance with me?' It said.
"Uh, quieres ... bailar conmigo!"
"Yes, very fine, work on the pronunciation. And now..."
"Say besame, por favor?"
"B-besame..."
"Great Lovi, but you have to work on the pronunciation. Besame means kiss. You can also use..."
That had been the first word José taught me. He said that it would give me some interest in the subject. Even though I'll never fucking know why he wanted me to learn Spanish, it sure as hell is coming in handy now. I'm also not sure why he thought that word would spark my interest.
"Lovi~, that was the first time you said more than one word! I'm so proud! And it was all correct! And you didn't even check your papers or anything! I guess I'm helping you a lot, eh?"
"No, you fucking aren't, and it isn't that fucking hard to learn, bastard."
"But you keep complaining that it's too hard for you to understand!"
"Did you want something?"
"Well, no actually, I just wanted to spend time with Lovi~!"
Bonecrushing hug, incoming.
"Let go, fucking bastard! I don't want to see your stupid fucking face for my eyes!"
"But Lovi~"
Since he didn't move away, he must know that I don't really mean it. At least not if it's him (I-it's only because he looks like José! Nothing else, really!). Or else he's just too much of an imbecile to notice. I finally pushed him away, while Jonas and some of the other Nordic guys walked past. I'm sure I heard someone say something like "Aw, look at those cute kærester, why don't you want to be that with me, Norge?" Yeah, that's definitely Jonas. And I saw Siv kicking him somewhere where it would hurt for a damn long time. Guess I don't have to kill him for that remark. Whatever kaarrsta meant.
..:::––––––:::..
"Lovi~ Can I walk home with you?"
It was fucking Thursday, so we had a free period at the same time. He asked me in the cafeteria, and I excused myself by saying I'd be walking with Feli, who then said she would be going with Im Yong Soo, because he apparently wanted to know about... Something. It sounded weird, so I didn't ask any further. So Pervert and Potato 2 said that I then had nobody else to walk with, and therefore should go with Tomato Bastard. So now I stood outside the fencing yard, waiting for him to fucking arrive. When he finally got out, he was tailed by Pervert and Elizaveta. Gerben, Mask Bastard and Alishia also walked out, but they weren't following Tomato Bastard.
"Why did it take so fucking long? You told me you'd be fucking done at five o'clock!"
"Aww, Lovi waited for me! ¡Que es tan lindo!"
"I am NOT fucking cute! And I only did it so you had someone to walk with, stupid idiot. Tell your idiot friends to stop fucking following us!"
"She said us, instead of just one of them, that means that she wants to be together with him!"
"Oui! You are definitely right, she will possibly want to have *beeb* with mon ami!"
"Francis, not everyone wants to go that fast, but yes, they will somehow, someday do it! Vagyok benne!"
I could see Tomato Bastard's face light up, and my own was surely on fire by now.
"I-I do not like this bastard in any fucking way, 'tards!"
Why did he look like I had stabbed him? It's him who likes Bella. I don't like anyone, maybe I do like Anto-Tomato Bastard a tiny little bit (DO NOT), but I do NOT (not...) love him! Even if he is good-looking, has a stupid voice which really resembles José's, is kind, and... I HATE HIM!
...Well, I don't (yes I do), but I hate how he makes me feel, like i'm some kind of lovesick princess. Which I most certainly am not. I am anything except for a princess.
"So the princess doesn't want to get herself dirty? Pech für dich!" It wasn't because I didn't want to get dirty, I'd just get clean tomorrow in cold water first. And I don't like Roux looking at me while I bathe. It's not comfortable...
"...Don't look at me while I bathe!" Fuck, did I just say that outloud? As far as I can tell by looking at their faces, then yes, I did.
"Quoi? I don't, but I'd love to~"
"Francis, Lovi just said she didn't want you to, so don't. Por favor?" There was some kind of hidden threat in those words. I'm sure. B-but why would he threaten his perverted amigo for me? Maybe he's just like that. Yeah, that must be it. He can't lo-like me. Just can't.
"Oui, I just said I wanted..." Pervert looked rather dissatisfied, but also ...afraid? No that can't be fucking true. I must have seen wrong.
"If you idiots would leave Tomato Bastard and me alone, and go somewhere else I'd be fucking happy."
"Fine, we'll leave." Elizaveta said and seemingly walked away with Pervert.
"What was that about watching you bathe?" Of course he had to ask about it. I blushed a bit, before answering:
"Nothing, just..."
"Something?"
"I don't want to think about it again."
We started walking towards the city. The school lay a bit outside city, so we had to walk to city first.
"What is your favorite food?"
"Why do you ask? It's not like you have any fucking reason to ask me."
"Nothing, just being curious. But what is it?"
"Fine, it's tomatoes. And after that pizza. And then it's pasta."
"My favorite is also tomatoes! But my second is paella! And then churros! Have you ever tasted churros, Lovi?"
"Yes, once. I don't really remember what the hell it tasted like though..."
"Then I'll definitely make it for you one day! It's great!"
"Fine..."
"Your favorite color?"
"Oh God, bastard, why are you so fucking curious? Green." I added hastily, so he couldn't say I hadn't answered his fucking question.
"Mine's red! But I also love your eye color! It's like a rainbow! And I don't think I'll ever be able to know how many there are! Even if I never stopped looking at them! Son preciosas."
"Why is your eyes such an häßlich color? It's fucking gross! It varies between shit and Piss!"
"Are miei occhi... Beautiful?" That sounded so wrong. My eyes are anything but beautiful. Or precious. Or anything else good. They're terrible. I fucking hate them with a passion.
"Si~ very!" I blushed. WHY DID I BLUSH? And why does this fucking bastard like my eyes? We walked a bit in silence. Then:
"Oh, I'm home now... Lo siento, Lovi! I can't walk with you anymore..." Wait, didn't this freak say he fucking lived in the other part of town? And this was opposite of Ciro's damn house!
"Didn't you say you lived in another part of town?" I asked a little dumbstruck.
"Ahah, si, I think I did..." he said with an apologetic tone.
"You fucking lied to me?" I nearly screamed angrily.
"Yes, but I just didn't want to leave you~!" He talked fast, way too fast for me, so I only caught the last. Which made me frown, and fucking blushing! Not again! Why do this bastard keep making me blush?
"What? You're making no fucking sense right now."
"Did I talk too fast? Lo siento, Lovi, I know you aren't that fast in English yet, and-"
"Just tell me what the fuck you said." I interrupted him.
"Ah, lo siento, I just said I didn't want to leave you!" My face got completely flushed.
"W-what? Ma perché, voglio dire non c'è motivo maledetto per voi di stare con m-me ora che ti stai scopando a casa. E perché hai voluto rimanere a casa in quella casa Ciro bastardi, comunque? Argh, you bastard I fucking don't understand you! E che cos'è che hai con Bella?" I ranted in rapid Italian.
"I'm sorry, but I didn't get a word of that Italian. I know some Italian, but that was too fast for me. And also way too complicated."
"WHAT, you know Italian?"
"I only understand a little, and can't speak it at all." Why did that make me sad, it's not like I want him to understand any of what I'm saying, nor say something to me in Italian. Even though I would like it if he called me bellissima... Hell, no I wouldn't! And that stupid little voice ended my own sentence provocatively: wouldn't dislike it.
"If it means so fucking much to you, then I can visit you. Now, I guess..."
"Really?" Suddenly his eyes sparkled. In a way too happy way. This bastard's always too fucking happy! Someone call someone to get him to stop it!
"Yeah, or I wouldn't have said so." Fuck, what am I getting myself into now? ...I don't think it's good...
"Yay! Then we're going to have tomatoes, paella and churros!"
"Urh, fine..." What the hell is with this bastard? I didn't say I would stay too long, dammit! He opened the door and beckoned me inside. And now that I had said yes, there was no going back.
"You do know there's no going back now, right, figlia?" Yes, I knew, but it wasn't like I ever had had a choice. I had always been forced to do things I didn't want to, or hated.
Inside it was clean but also rather untidy. Not that I was surprised, An-Tomato Bastard always used a lot of time to find his things for the different subjects. Not that I've been looking or anything. It's just that bastard keeps forcing me to stay with him when his favorite pencil or something had gotten lost. Because he's an bastard like that.
"Madre, Lovi came home with me! ¿No es adorable?" The bastard asked a lady, his mother, as I translated it, who looked a lot like him, with just not as curly hair as An-Tomato Bastard, but that might be because of the bun it was kept in. She also had brown, not green, eyes. She wore business clothes, so I guessed she worked from home.
"Oh, that's really good, Antonio, and you're right she is really adorable!" She answered. Apparently he's been talking about me at his home, that bastard! I blushed a little, and she walked over to give me her hand to say hello.
"Hello, my name's Maite! Antonio has told me so much about you!" I shot a deadly glare at Tomato Bastard, and answered in a way too sugary for me.
"Really? I had no idea~ Am I often mentioned at your dinners?" Too. Sugary. Stop it. Now. I just don't want his stupid mother to get the wrong impression of the kind of people Tomato bastard hung around with.
"Yes, I think it's nearly daily~ And chiquita, you don't have to act around me. Antonio has told me everything about how you are on daily basis." Fucking bastard who tells his mother everything about how some random girl at his school acts.
"...Fuck, has he?"
"Yes. And now I'm sure he didn't bring the wrong girl home."
"Madre, why should I have done that? I'm not that stupid..." He mumbled a bit. Wait, is that shame over how his mother is acting? I thought that bastard was too stupid to even know that feeling.
"Yes, you are that fucking stupid." In my opinion he is.
"Lovi... Why are you so mean?" To him? Because I want to be.
"Antonio, would you please help me make dinner? Lovina, do you want to stay for dinner?"
We both answered yes, except that I wasn't as eager as he was.
"Great! We'll have paella, and then we should all make churros!" What's with this family, and being overly happy? The Fernandez Carriedo's, extremely fucking happy, and loves to frustrate girls named Lovina Romano. Vargas. Yeah, I'm not used to the Vargas. It's damn new, so shut up.
..:::––––––:::..
"So Lovina, why are you here? I don't mean here, as in this house, but why did you transfer to this school? I've heard you came from Italia." We sat, eating the paella-shit. Fine, it wasn't that bad. I might even like it.
"Yeah, I'm a native Italian. I transferred because... I don't really want to talk about that."
The man staring with green eyes up on me, just before he died. I remembered a couple of green eyes, very like these. Exactly like these.
I stared at the two others, one with brown eyes, the other with green. I was scared. I was fucking scared. I... No. That man. It can't have been...
"Lovina? What's wrong? You're trembling all over." I was? Fuck. But if he really was... No, I don't want to think about it.
"I... It's... I don't want to talk about it." Or think, for that matter.
"Oh, I understand... I also have things I don't want to talk about." Like what? Some stupid rumours, or something?
"...Like what?" Fuck, why did I say that? If she doesn't want to talk about it, then why am I asking, when I don't want to fucking think about my past?
"Didn't I just say I didn't want to talk about it?" She asked sweetly, but somehow still threatening. A lot like the way Antoni-Tomato Bastard had been earlier. Yeah, they're in family, have the same blood, and all that shit. But still. It was fucking scary.
"Yeah, sorry." For wanting to know a bit more about you. We ate in silence for the rest of the meal.
"Let's go make churros!" And now ...What was her name? Maite! Was happy again. Ugh. Too much happiness.
"...Fine." I don't really want to, but I promised.
"Yay!" Overly happy bastard said, and nobody will ever know what he said it for.
So we went to the damn kitchen, to make churros. It tasted good. Fine. I fucking love this shit!
"Now I have to leave you two, I have some work I have to get done with. Have fun!" Maite said, leaving us teens. Completely alone. In a fucking house.
"So Lovi, what do you want to do?" No. My brain did just not misunderstand that.
"I don't know. I'd like to know why your father isn't here. Is he coming later or something?" And is he just as fucking overly happy as you two?
"My padre is... I don't really know. We heard he died some months ago. But madre and padre were divorced when I was only around six. Last thing we heard, before the information about his being dead, was that he moved to Italy. I guess that's why madre was interested."
"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that..."
"It's okay, I barely even knew him! Madre told me his name was José." José. What the hell? It can't be. It's just... too fucking weird! I won't believe it was. I just... Won't.
"Lovi, what's wrong? You look so pale..."
"I'm fucking fine, and stop calling me that damn name!"
"Good Lovi!" Did he just ignore me? I just told him to fucking stop calling me that!
"I'm leaving now, bastard, and there's nothing for you to do about it!"
"Lovi... Why now?" Good question, I guess it's because he looked a bit upset after me asking about his father.
"Because you're a bastard and a pervert, for Gods sake! There's no telling what you'll do to me, now your damn mother's not here and all!"
"Lovi! I'd never do such a thing to you! Eres muy precioso para mí, hacerte daño!"
"...W-what? I AM WHAT? Like hell you'd be able to fucking hurt me!" Now we were both blushing. Yes, he was too, not just me! Why don't you believe me when I say he blushed?
"Now you're just denying what you said less than 5 minutes ago~" And he's back to normal.
"Fuck you! I'm leaving, dammit!" And yes, I did leave, and no, I wasn't disappointed because he didn't follow me. Just exactly who do you think I am?
..:::––––––:::..
"So~ Lovina, where were you?" Feliciana asked sweetly.
"Nowhere, mind your own damn business." I answered sourly. We were eating dinner. Yes, I was having dinner twice today. And it was fucking great!
"Because I saw you at Antoni-"
"Don't you fucking dare to say that bastard's name, Feli!" I interrupted, and flushed slightly red.
"Aw, why not? Is it just because you don't want to admit that you've been together with Anto-"
"Firstly, I have not been together with that Tomato Bastard, secondly I was at Maddie's."
"Liar~ I saw you going into the house opposite ours!" What the hell is that Ciro bastard now butting in for?
"Yeah, and so what?" He can't know who lives there, right?
"Maite and her son Antonio Fernandez Carriedo lives there. I saw you enter together with Antonio. The same guy who slept over here some time ago." Okay, he knows his neighbours. Dammit.
"She did?"
"Yes, saw it with my own two eyes!"
"Would you two stop fucking talking behind my back in front of me, bastards?"
"No~" They just answered in unison. My life is screwed up forever. And these bastards won't do me any better. Or any of the other bastards at school. Maybe except for Maddie and... No, there is nobody else. Why is there only one damn person I trust? Fuck, everyone at this fucking school, is so fucking screwed up!
"So, what have you two been up to since you've arrived? Except for meeting a lot of people, what interesting stuff has happened to you?"
"Is this for some kind of damn journal, bastard?" They did that all the time, asked about how I was, and stuff about my fucking feelings, at the place I was at before.
"Yes, I'd rather not ask you, but I have to ensure that you're not out into something bad, and also that you won't bottle up your own feelings. It's a-"
"-Very important part of your job, right? They answered the same way, when I asked home in Italy."
"I know. Lets begin with you, Feli. Have you gotten some good friends?"
"Si, a lot! Kiki and Ludwig are my best friends! Kiki is a japanese girl, and Luddy is Mr. Beilschmidt's youngest son! They're very good to me!"
"How are you feeling for the moment?"
While he was asking, he scribbled down all he got out of us. It wasn't such a big deal, they did do the same thing earlier anyway. Still. There it had been women, not men. Not men who had hurt me for the last many years. Women who could comfort me when I was scared of my own memories. It might've seen easy, because that Tomato Bastard keeps doing it, but it really wasn't. Something about him calmed me.
"Madre told me his name was José."
José.
"...I-I want José! Where is he, dammit? I-I need to check something! Goddammit, where is that bastard when you need him? I have to ask him again!"
"José, do you have any children?"
"Lovi, why are you asking that? Are you jealous? If I had I have love enough for both of you!" He told me a little in fun.
"I was just curious..."
No, that wasn't how the memory had ended! There was some more about it. But I can't remember.
"You bastard, you never fucking answered! Where the hell are you dammit? I fucking need you!"
I had always been moody, and sometimes it just flowed out, all of it. Feliciana and Ciro tried to get me cooled down. No wait, why was José there? As soon as I had seen him, I hugged him to show him exactly how much I had missed him. Usually he hugged me, I had never hugged him.
"Sh, Lovi, everything will be fine. You will be fine..." This wasn't José. He was much younger than José. But nonetheless he calmed me down.
After some time I recognised him as Anto-Tomato Bastard. But I didn't want to leave him just yet. He was so warm, and so much like José, who had dried my tears away when I was small, helped me understanding why things happened, and had loved me as a daughter, much more than my papa ever had.
"...J-José..." I said between my sobs. Through my overflowing eyes I saw An-Tomato Bastard's eyes sadden, but they were still filled with compassion. They reminded me so much of José. Why, dammit, why?
He got me upstairs in bed, and stayed with me until I fell asleep.
"Sh, Lovi, nothing's gonna harm you. Everything will be alright... Sleep, or you'll get sick~"
..:::––––––:::..
"We still have to make the journal, or my boss will get angry..." Ciro said, smiling a damn lot.
"Fine. But I don't want to."
"It's not like I want to either, Lovina! And please don't throw a fit again." Yeah, it wasn't because I wanted to throw a fucking 'fit' or whatever that is. It just happens, dammit!
"Ve~ At least we now know to go and fetch Antonio when it happens!" I felt my face heat up.
"Hell no! And who said I would get it again?" From now on I'll stay focused, so it won't happen. Or at least try to. Whatever.
"Are you two done now? I never got done with you, Feli, so I'll ask the rest of the questions now. Do you like your surroundings? Or is there something you want changed?"
"No, I'm fine! And I like our room~"
"Great, and school? How is it going?"
"It's good! Most of it is a bit hard, though," She pouted a bit "But everyone's helping me, and explaining what I don't understand! Ve~"
"Do you have any problems you want help with at all?"
"No, I have no problems at all!"
"And your past? As soon as you're ready to talk about it, I'll be there for you."
"No... I'm not completely prepared yet... But once I am, I'll tell you all! Our friends too!"
"That sounds great, Feli! Now for you, Lovina. Do you have some friends?"
Well, Maddie is definitely my friend. And I guess you could call Feliciana and Alishia my friends too. And I did get close somehow to Lili, Kiki, Vash, Natalia, (sadly) Ally, Siv, Sonja and Bella. Sadly I've also come close to Potato 2, Pervert, Elizaveta, Jonas and Im Yong Soo (who hasn't tried to claim my breasts yet, luckily) I'm not that happy about being close with them. Actually I'm fucking pissed off about it. And... Antonio. Yes I said his name, fuck that. It's just a name. I'm not completely sure about how I feel with him. I won't mention him.
"...Yes. I have friends."
"But no information?"
"Caught me there. That's right, I won't tell you about them. Or specify them. Or anything."
"Next question. How are you feeling for the moment?"
"Fine."
"You don't sound fine..."
"Well, I am, dammit!"
"Sure you are. And the surroundings?"
"They're good for me. Better than so many other places." Papa's house as one of those other places.
"School?"
"I'm getting fine grades, and it's not as hard as I thought. Though I'd like for my math-helping-person to go to hell. He doesn't help me understand any of that shit; he just gets me even more confused."
"I'll ask Ewald to change him. What's his name?"
"Sadiq Annan." Bastard deserves that.
"Thank you. Do you have something you want to talk about?"
"No. And if I had, I would never talk with you about it."
"Ve, why not, sorella? He's never harmed us in any way!"
"I fucking don't trust him!"
"Ve, why do you then trust Antonio?"
"I! Do! Not! Trust that fucking bastard."
"Sure~"
"...Does ...Not...Want... To talk... About... Her past..." I heard Ciro mumble.
"That's fucking true, old geezer!"
"Hey, I'm not that old!"
"Yes you fucking are!"
We bickered a bit more, until Feliciana and I went to bed.
Translations:
Por favore=Please (spanish)
Quieres bailar conmigo?= Will you dance with me? (spanish)(with very bad pronounciation.)
Besame=Kiss (spanish)
Kærester=Boyfriends/girlfrends/lovers/couple. (danish) (I didn't think any of the english words fitted. So I used a danish one. It sounds more like kaerasta, but Jonas talks a little fast in danish (he's danish, so duh, of course it's fast) and then it sounds more like kærrsta. Lovina don't know the æ sound so she decides it sounds most like an a.)
Norge=Norway (danish) (Jonas' nickname for Siv.)
¡Que es tan lindo!=That's so cute! (spanish)
Mon ami=my friend (french)
Vagyok benne!=I'm certain! (hungarian)
Pech für dich!=Bad for you (german)
Quoi?=What? (french)
Oui=Yes (french)
Son preciosas=So beautiful/precious (spanish)
Häßlich=hideous (german)
Piss=Pee (german)
Miei occhi=My eyes (italian)
Si=Yes (spanish and italian)
Lo siento=I'm sorry (spanish)
Ma perché, voglio dire non c'è motivo maledetto per voi di stare con m-me ora che ti stai scopando a casa. E perché hai voluto rimanere a casa in quella casa Ciro bastardi, comunque?=But, because, I mean there's no reason for you to be with m-me, now you're fucking home. And why did you want to stay at that Ciro bastard's in the first place? (italian)
E che cos'è che hai con Bella?=And what do you have with Bella? (Bella also means beautiful and Antonio misunderstood it as that.) (italian)
Bellissima=Beautiful (italian)
Figlia=daughter (italian)
Madre=mother (spanish)
¿No es adorable?=Isn't she adorable? (spanish)
Chiquita=little one (spanish)
Italia=Italy (spanish)
Padre=father (spanish)
Eres muy precioso para mí, hacerte daño!=You are too precious for me, to hurt you! (spanish)
Papa=father (italian)
Sorella=sister (italian)
A/N: So I hope you enjoyed this, I'll try to get done with the next a little faster... Please review, I actually got a very good idea because of an review. Oh well, I know what I want to happen the next chapters, and I also know just exactly how this is ending. I didn't waste my time.
Now I have rambled, added a chapter and have no more excuses. I'll go brush my wigs now...