A/N: Thank you so much for your extremely kind and long reviews (I love long ones, hehe!). It was really interesting to hear your opinions on the topic and actually made me think a little more about both sides of the argument. I can't tell you how gratifying it feels to be able to educate, well anyone really, about this. I would love to continue, chapter three is already in the works, so please let me know what you think, I live for your reviews! Also, one thing I'm curious to know, as a FF writer: does it matter to you guys that it is written in British English, as opposed to American?

To Mo, my recently appointed Beta, you have made this process so much more enjoyable. You've really made me think about both sides of this argument, especially from the prospective of a hearing person; the one thing, for obvious reasons, I struggle to see. Your talent, your insight and most of all your friendship, mean more to me than I think you realise; thank you.

This chapter is for Lizzie, who read this story first.

Chapter two - Decisions, decisions, decisions.

"If I were offered a cochlear implant today, I would prefer not to have one. But that's not a statement about hearing aids or cochlear implants. It's about who you are." – Marlee Matlin

September 1998

Lorelai lay on her side on the big double bed, her face in her hands as uncontrollable sobs caused her body to shake violently. How could this have happened to Eloise; her beautiful daughter? She would never be able to hear the simplest of things: birds singing, the wind rustling the trees, laughter; all things she took for granted. The thing that got to her the most was the fact that she hadn't even realized that her own daughter was deaf. She had sensed that something was wrong, Eloise was two and her speech skills had not improved, but Lorelai hadn't connected the dots. How could she not have known? Had she not been paying enough attention to Eloise? Or had she simply been in denial; not wanting to even consider the possibility. It was all too overwhelming, another flood of emotion filled her and her body racked with sobs once more.

"Mom?" Rory called from the doorway, her voice ridden with anxiety.

Lorelai hastily made to sit up, turning her face from Rory's view and roughly wiping the tears from her face with the back of her hand, "Hey, sweets! How was school?" she asked as brightly as she could manage, sending Rory an unconvincing smile.

Rory wasn't fooled; she may be thirteen but she wasn't stupid. She walked towards her mother, stopping at the bed, where Lorelai now sat upright. "What's wrong?" Rory asked, her voice shaky and her bottom lip trembling; she hated seeing her mom cry.

Lorelai took Rory's hands in her own and gave them a reassuring squeeze, "I'm fine, baby, I'm just being silly," she said dismissively, smiling weakly at Rory.

"Tell me," Rory implored, tears stinging the back of her eyes threateningly, "Please,"

Lorelai parted her lips to speak and then hung her head, fresh tears welling up again.

"It's Eloise, isn't it?" Rory said, her voice coming out barely above a whisper, her eyes wide and glistening.

A few tears escaped Lorelai this time, she didn't bother trying to brush them away. She looked slowly up at Rory, through the hair that had fallen in front of her face. Her lip began to tremble, she couldn't form the words. So she simply gave a sad nod before she began to sob silently again. Rory understood and so didn't press any further. She sat down on the bed next to Lorelai and then pulled her into a tight embrace. With this Lorelai couldn't contain her emotion anymore, it flooded out in uncontrollable sobs that left tear-stains on the back of Rory's t-shirt. Her body quivering as she tried to gain some control; for Rory's sake if nothing else. Rory began to stroke Lorelai's hair and rub smooth circles on her back, cooing "Shh," into her mother's ears. Lorelai finally capitulated, allowing her tears to flow thick and fast.

May 1999 (Present Day)

Luke held his head in his hands, the tears burning the back of his eyes, he squeezed them shut trying to stop the tears from escaping. He couldn't get Lorelai's voice out of his head. The hurt in her voice, the anger in her eyes and the painstakingly wounded look on her face that would be forever emblazoned on his retinas.

He just couldn't understand it. How could Lorelai not want Eloise to hear? The cochlear implant seemed like the most logical explanation to the problem. Eloise was young, which meant she would be able to gain speech and live a much more straightforward life. Surely, when thinking about the long term impacts it would have on Eloise's life, this was the best option.

He just wanted what was best for Eloise.

"Hey," came a soft voice from above him. He looked up to find Rory's sympathetic face looking down at him. He hadn't even heard her come in. It was at that moment he realised that himself and Lorelai had had a screaming match ten metres from Rory's bedroom. A wave of guilt crashed over him.

"So, it turns out you guys forgot that one of your daughters isn't deaf," she joked mildly.

"Oh, Rory I'm so sorry, we didn't mean for you to hear all that," he said apologetically running his hands through his hair before looking up at her again, "How much did you hear?"

Rory looked down at her feet, "Oh, you know … little snippets," she said, trying her best to sound nonchalant.

"So, basically everything?"

"Basically, yes,"

Luke sighed heavily, as Rory sat down on the coffee table opposite him. She eyed him warily as he rubbed the back of his neck tiredly.

"Luke?" Rory asked softly.

Luke looked up to meet her gaze, "Yeah?"

"Can I say something that you're probably not going to want to hear?" she implored.

Luke rolled his eyes, "Sure, why not," he said dryly, propping his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together in anticipation.

"Well, ever since we found out about Eloise, I've been doing a lot of research on the subject. It was actually extremely fascinating. I found out a lot of stuff, that you wouldn't really know about unless you were immersed in a Deaf world,"

Luke rolled his eyes, "Yeah, I've been doing a lot of research myself, thanks," he said gruffly, cutting her off.

"I know, but I don't think you've read this yet," she responded simply. She paused for a minute to gauge Luke's reaction. When she found that he was calm, she continued, "The thing that we don't really understand is that being Deaf isn't just a health issue like having, Tuberculosis or something,"

Luke raised an eyebrow, "Tuberculosis?" he asked incredulously.

"Okay, bad example, but it's nearly twelve, my brain doesn't function at this time of night," she said defensively.

"Okay, sorry, continue,"

"My point was, that it's a lifestyle. Maybe not a lifestyle they have chosen for themselves, but Deaf people have their own culture, they're a community. They have their own values, beliefs, norms, they even have their own language for God's sake!" she said with a laugh, "I guess my point is that one of the reasons why a lot of Deaf people are against Cochlear implants is because it is jeopardizing the future of that culture. Eloise has the opportunity to be a part of that world, I mean if you think about it that way, it doesn't sound so scary, does it?" she questioned tentatively.

Luke breathed deeply, contemplating what she had said "I guess not," he paused briefly before continuing, "but by having the cochlear she has just a good of chance of being a part of our world," he pointed out.

"Well, yes, and no. I mean, sure, by having the cochlear she will be able to hear, but I don't think it's that simple. To some people it can be kind of ostracizing," she said with a shrug.

Luke's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, "Really? Why?"

"Well they say that once you get a cochlear you're not really anywhere. You're not hearing, you're not Deaf, it's almost like you're in no-mans-land, you know?" she said softly.

"Yeah," Luke nodded slowly, "I guess I never thought about it that way before," he said musingly.

"I mean that's not to say that everyone feels that way, I did read a lot of stories where people were really pleased with their implants. I just thought that you might want to consider those factors when making your decision," she clarified.

Luke looked at her, an amazed smile on his face, "Thank you," he stated, unsure of how else to express his gratitude.

"Anytime," she said dismissively, giving him a small smile.

He sighed, patting her knee before rising from the couch, "Right, I guess I better …" he trailed off, indicating to upstairs with his index finger.

Rory nodded sombrely, removing herself from the coffee table and walking back towards her bedroom, "Good luck," she whispered, before slipping into her room, closing the door behind her.

Luke exhaled heavily before turning for the stairs, "I'm gonna need it," he muttered under his breath as he ascended.

Luke slowly opened their bedroom door and peered in cautiously. The room was dark. He heard Lorelai before he saw her; her soft cries muffled by her pillow. As he walked in, he saw that she was lying on her side facing the window. She lay on top of the covers, she hadn't bothered to change into her pyjamas; her denim cladded legs curled up under herself.

The worn floorboards creaked as he walked towards the bed, announcing his presence. Lorelai stiffened and silenced her cries abruptly. Luke sighed and sat down on the bed, "Lorelai?" he asked softly.

The room remained silent.

"Lorelai, please, can we just talk about this. Properly," he added, his tone desperate.

Lorelai exhaled deeply, she knew he was right, they needed to have a rational discussion and they needed to make a decision. She unhurriedly made to sit up, turning to face him and sitting Indian style on the bed. She roughly tucked her hair behind her ears and looked up at him apologetically, her eyes still moist.

"I'm sorry, I – I didn't –," she trailed off softly.

Luke nodded his head in understanding, placing a reassuring hand on her knee, "I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have brought it up," he said sadly, looking down at his lap. He now sat Indian style too, opposite Lorelai on the bed.

Lorelai looked disbelievingly at him, "Luke, no, you were right. We need to come to an informed decision on this, together, without me starting a shouting match," she said with a small hollow laugh, shaking her head slightly as she averted his gaze.

"Lorelai," he spoke softly, as he tried to make eye contact with her, "I know there's something wrong, something else, something that brought that outburst on; you don't exactly hide your emotions from me very well," he teased gently, moving his hand from her knee to gently rub her thigh.

Lorelai sniffed and let out a small laugh. She paused for a moment to collect her thoughts before continuing, "I think … I may have been yelling at myself, rather than at you. It's just," she began after a small pause, "I feel guilty," she confessed softly, her voice thick with emotion, looking into his eyes as she spoke.

"Why?" he asked surprised.

Lorelai squeezed her eyes shut, hoping to keep her tears at bay, she spoke softly, "Well … recently … I have kinda been considering … it. I mean I stand by what I said, don't get me wrong but when I think about the benefits of a C.I, in the long-term; I begin to change my mind. A part of me thinks that Eloise is perfect the way she is. Why on earth would we want to change her? But then, on the other hand, all I can think is; why should Eloise be any less advantaged than anyone else. Why should she have to struggle in this way, when for others hearing comes so easily? What is fair about that? It would just make her life so much easier, not better, but easier," she added pointedly.

"Ah," Luke said in recognition, "And you're feeling guilty that you're considering it," he said knowledgably.

She looked into his deep blue eyes, her own filled to the brim with unshed tears. She nodded slowly, her lip trembling as the tears began to tumble down her face, "I just don't want her to feel like we wanted to change her in anyway, or felt like she wasn't good enough, or, or -," she sobbed softly.

"Hey, hey," he began soothingly, cutting her off, "she won't feel like that,"

"You don't know that, Luke," she began softly, "And I've researched it, you know? It just doesn't feel right to tear her away from this culture, this community. I mean, how do we know what she wants? What if she doesn't want it, Luke? Do we really have the right to make such a life-changing decision for her?" she implored, her voice coming out in a terrified whisper.

"I don't know," he answered truthfully, after a heavy sigh, running his hands over his face tiredly.

"And Luke, I've heard stories … I mean, seriously, some of the things that have happened, gone wrong …" she trailed off, her voice choked as more silent tears cascaded down her face uncontrollably.

Luke looked up from his hands and into her terrified face. He knew the stories she was talking about; he had read them himself. He'd heard about the many risks that encompassed the surgery. He'd read the stories where the implant had failed, or where the patient had simply heard nothing. He'd heard about the risk the surgery has on the facial nerve; leaving the patient with temporary or permanent weakening or full paralysis on one side of the face. He'd heard about the thousands of other risks that came with the implant, ranging from Meningitis to vertigo. According to doctors the chances of any of these happening were so low, that there was no need for them to worry about them. But what kind of thing is that to say to a parent? How can one simply not worry?

"I'm scared, Luke," she spoke softly, her voice wrenched with emotion and sincerity, her eyes wide as they bore desperately into his; the silent tears continued to softly moisten her pale skin.

Luke moved over to her and wrapped his arm around her, allowing her head to fall to his chest. "I know you are, it will be okay, I promise," he assured not only her but himself, placing a tender kiss to the top of her head. He began to stroke her hair and rub small circles on her back rhythmically.

"If anything were to happen … to Eloise, I-I don't think I could forgive myself," she whispered softly into his flannel, before she broke down, dissolving into violent tears that caused her to shake in Luke's arms. Luke held her as she cried, rocking her gently until her sobs subsided and she fell asleep in his arms.

Lorelai awoke abruptly the next morning, her eyes flying open as her brain drifted into sudden consciousness. She moved her hand slowly, to stroke the sheets on the other side of the bed. She found the space empty, the bed dipping slightly; Luke's presence still imprinted on the mattress from years of use. As she slowly came back to reality, she ran her hand over where his body would lie, if his profession did not force him to rise at five AM every morning. The more awake she became, the more she was reminded of last night's events.

As to avoid any more thoughts of last night entering her mind, she grudgingly rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom across the hall. She tiredly squeezed toothpaste onto her brush, looking into the mirror as she raised it to her mouth. She stopped short as she saw her reflection. Her eyes were red and puffy, the residues of yesterday's mascara gathered in a dark ring under her eyes, the odd bit escaping down her cheek. Her cheeks shining ever so slightly, the path of her tears were still visible in the well lit room. She sighed heavily, running her hand over her face tiredly before lifting her toothbrush to her mouth once more.

Once her teeth had been brushed, her face cleaned and her bed-hair detangled, she padded slowly across the hall into Eloise's room. Eloise was sleeping peacefully in her small toddler-sized bed. Lorelai smiled at the sight. She slept on her side, her messy dark curls pooling on her pillow, one small hand resting under her head, the other wrapped loosely around a small stuffed-giraffe; which Eloise had not slept without since Rory had given it to her on her second birthday.

Lorelai walked further into the room and sat down in the wooden rocking chair that sat in the corner of Eloise's room. As she slowly rocked, her eyes fixed on Eloise, she remembered the countless times she had sat in this exact chair with a much smaller Eloise in her arms. Coaxing her to sleep or giving her a three AM feed, softly talking to her daughter about anything and everything. All things she was too young to understand at only a couple of months old and all things, she realised now, she wouldn't have heard anyway.

Her brain constantly whirred with thoughts of the implant. Two voices, both hers, constantly arguing over each other:

Having the cochlear will allow Eloise to have all the opportunities that anyone else would have.

But by having it she loses a part of herself, being deaf is what makes Eloise, Eloise.

Be realistic, she's three years old, she's not even going to remember any of this anyway. You need to think about her future, think about how much easier her life would be if she had this implant.

What if that's not what Eloise wants? What if she'd prefer to live her life the way she was born to, without a huge hunk of metal on the side of her head impeding on that?

A huge hunk of metal? She wears two hearing aids anyway. What do think those are, two small pieces of marshmallows that rest in her ears?

Oh, you know what I mean!

Eloise is going to live in a hearing world, whether she's deaf or not, you have to face facts, she's going to face struggles. People aren't going to adapt to her, she's going to have to adapt to the hearing world for the rest of her life. If she isn't disabled by her disability, she'll be disabled by society.

It doesn't have to be that way! We can adapt to her, learn sign language and whatever else it takes. Besides if she goes to a Deaf school she'll be immersed into the Deaf world and we'll meet Deaf families. Why can't she be a part of both worlds?

The argument always differed as new thoughts to justify both sides entered her brain. However, she always came to the same conclusion: there was no way she'd ever be able to make this decision. This was one of the things that bugged Lorelai the most. This wasn't like choosing between whether to buy a Honda or a Citroen, whether to buy the black or purple purse or whether to order one extra piece of pie at lunch. This decision would be affecting Eloise in ways that were so significant, so life-changing that she couldn't even begin to fathom the impact that it would have. She couldn't quite handle the fact that this decision would not be made by the one person who will be affected by it, but by that person's parents and a pile of flimsy research. What if they made the wrong decision?

She had thought about trying to explain the surgery to Eloise. But how do you explain to a three year old what she would be 'gaining', when sound is a concept that is as foreign to Eloise, as hearing nothing at all is to Lorelai.

She gently removed herself from the chair and made her way over to the bed, cautiously lowering herself to the mattress as to not wake Eloise. She listened to the rhythm of her steady breaths as she studied her daughters face, taking in every inch of her. Luke's voice rang in her ears, 'I just want her to be normal!' like a song that never leaves your head, no matter how much you will it to. And as she looked down at Eloise now, sleeping serenely, she realised that Eloise looked like any other kid. If a stranger was to walk in now, the only indication that there might be something different about Eloise, would be the two tiny hearing aids that lay on the nightstand.

The next evening the kitchen table was adorned with a large sheet of sugar paper and some magic markers. Lorelai strolled into the kitchen to find Luke hovering over the stove as he gently stirred the contents of a saucepan, a dishcloth slung casually over his shoulder.

"Okay, so I've set Eloise in front of her Barney video, we have paper, pens," she listed off on her fingers as she scanned the room.

"We have the research," Rory reminded, as she came out of her bedroom carrying a huge wad of paper, raising it in the air to emphasise her point.

"Holy mother of, what is that!" Lorelai exclaimed, pointing at the pile of paper

"I told you I did research," Rory said, in way of explanation.

"Yes, but this is not research, this is an inquiry of monumental proportions," Lorelai teased.

"Well, you're welcome, mother, happy I could help," Rory countered dryly, rolling her eyes.

"I'm teasing, thank you," she said seriously, placing a kiss to the top of Rory's head, "I also dug out the pamphlets that the happy, happy receptionist gave to me," she said in a mock perky voice, pointing to the pile of pamphlets on the table

"Oh God, was she that bad?" Rory asked, cringingly wrinkling her nose as she sat down at the table.

"Oh yeah, you'd think we were in Disneyland or something," she said sarcastically, sitting down next to Rory.

Luke turned the rings on the hob off and made his way over to the table with two plates, "She wasn't that bad," he reasoned, as he set the plates in front of Lorelai and Rory and went to retrieve his own.

"Are you kidding? I was this close from pining her to the ground and telling her about all the bad things in the world," she said sarcastically, as she tucked into her food.

Luke merely sighed, before changing the subject as he peered down at the large piece of sugar paper on the table. "Ah, no way! Seriously?" he asked incredulously, pointing at the paper. Written in Lorelai's loopy handwriting at the top of the page was 'Cochlear Implant', underneath were two columns, one labelled 'Pro' the other 'Con'.

"What?! This is an important decision, and this is how I make important decisions," Lorelai said defensively, a smile playing at her lips.

"A Pro-Con list." he deadpanned.

"Do you have any other suggestions?" Lorelai asked, arching her eyebrow challengingly.

Luke sighed heavily, defeated, "Fine,"

"Great!" Rory said brightly, "Let's start, I'll write, shall I?" picking up a marker and turning the page to face her before they could respond.

Twelve O'clock that night, Rory and Eloise had long since gone to bed and Luke and Lorelai were still conversing over the Pro-Con list, which was now full, however the Pro column appeared reasonably longer than the Cons.

Lorelai let out a shaky breath, "So have we decided then?"

"I guess so," Luke held his clasped hands to his lips, as his contemplated it all, "I think this is the right decision, for Eloise," Luke clarified, with a firm sense of finality in his voice.

Lorelai let out a slightly relieved breath, as she nodded, "So, she's going to have the cochlear implant but we'll continue to sign and talk, as we've been doing and we'll make sure that she understands the importance of Deaf culture," Lorelai reiterated, looking to Luke for confirmation.

Luke nodded his approval, "Sounds like a plan," he said softly, as he reached over and placed his hand reassuringly on top of hers, giving it a gentle squeeze.

A/N: After reading your reviews of my first chapter, I realised what I can use this story to do. I realised that I can use it to share some of my own experiences, as well as to educate. There are lots of things surrounding my hearing 'loss', even though some may be small, that I have become more aware of as I have grown older. Now I don't know if this has come with age, or how in fact it happened, but I am actually beginning to understand my own deafness far better than I ever have before, and as I mentioned in the chapter, view it as something more than a health issue (of which, I have many, haha)

It also occurred to me that to share these experiences, Eloise would have to be HOH (Hard-of-Hearing), so my decision to give her the Cochlear Implant was based purely on this. I am in no way implying that this is the way to go, if faced with this decision, nor, for that fact, am I saying that it isn't.

So, anyway, thank you for reading! And: review, review, review! *Lorelai voice*