I refuse to walk retarded, even though I'm sore down there.
It doesn't matter. It still felt incredible.
I'm reaching for Finn and Annie's doorknob when the door is ripped open.
"The main bitches!" Johanna shouts. She hugs both of us and then holds me at arms length and narrows her eyes. She snorts and looks at Peeta. "Either she cheated or you two pulled off to the side of the road."
"What makes you say that?" Peeta asks.
She sweeps my hair off of my shoulder and laughs loudly. "THEY HAD SEX!" She turns around and runs off. "FINNICK! ANNIE! THEY HAD SEX!"
I whip around to Peeta and I see his eyes widen and he quickly moves my hair to cover the right side of my neck. "What?" I ask.
He kisses my lips and whispers, "I gave you a hickey." Then he backs up as Annie and Finn come rushing downstairs.
"Look at you two dipshits!" If nick slaps Peeta on the back hard and then gives him a guy hug. "And you. Damn Kitty!" He taps my cheek and then hugs me. "Are you sore?"
"No." I cross my arms.
"She's lying." Peeta says. "I can see it in her eyes."
"Let's go ta-look at that damn car!" Finn looks over my shoulder, and doesn't bother looking at Peeta. "Haymitch?"
"And Mom and Prim." I say.
"Let's go talk." Johanna says. "I need to tell you guys something."
"Another boyfriend?" Finn asks.
"No this is...this is really serious. Brainless you need to fill us in on your Dad before I start because we all know he's giving you shit."
I sigh. "I don't really feel like talking about him."
"Well do it anyways." She says.
We all go upstairs and sit down in the living room.
"Where's the kitchen?" I ask, being the only one standing.
"There." Finn says. "Why?"
"I want some water."
Johanna burst out laughing suddenly, and the other three are staring at me in surprise.
"What's funny about me wanting-oh, yeah, laugh it up you stupid cunts. I grew up in New York. Of course the accent came back." When is say water, it sounds like 'whata.'
I get a glass from the kitchen and get a huge glass of water.
"Okay, what's going in with your Dad?"
"The same shit. He came to graduation...but I heard him and Haymitch fighting and..." I bite my lip. "Haymich said 'she's my daughter' and Ethan kind of ignored him. I don't know what to believe anymore but I'm almost positive that Haymitch is biologically my Dad."
"But you look exactly like Ethan." Annie frowns.
"That's the thing I don't understand."
"Well..." Peeta frowns. "Didn't you show me a picture of your Mom with dark hair?"
"Yeah, her hair was dark as a kid. Haymitch's was, too."
"When did it lighten?"
"I don't know. Like...four? Six?"
"Well..." Finn frowns. "Both of my parents are brunettes."
"And you have the exact same eyes at Haymitch. Your noses are similar. You have the same personality. You have your mothers smile. Katniss...you could very easily be Haymitch's kid." Annie whispers.
I let out a long sigh. " I just want answers."
"How about you call him?"
"But you need to tell us-"
"This is something I need a lot of time to tell so I really think that you should call him first."
"What are you gonna ask?" Peeta questions.
"I'll wing it." I shrug. I pull out my phone and dial Haymitch and put it on speaker.
"Hey sweetheart." He says. I can hear my mothers voice in the background.
What do I say?
"Are you my Dad?" I blurt.
I hear a loud shriek that's clear as day and then something shatters.
I shut my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath and then open them and look at my friends.
"What?" Haymitch asks.
"I asked if you were my father."
More silence and then I hear an angry whispering fight and then Haymitch hiss something, and then I hear a door click shut, a button being pressed on his phone.
"How'd you figure it out?" I shut my eyes for a moment.
"I heard you tell Ethan I was yours..."
He sighs. "You really weren't supposed to hear that."
"Why the hell didn't you guys tell me?" I feel my anger soar.
"Because-"
"Do you realize that I've always wanted a father who fucking cared?"
"I do care." He says.
"But you weren't there! I was stuck with Ethan! You know he tried to rape me? You didn't ducking care! If you cared-"
"I wasn't there because your mother wouldn't let me go anywhere near you. I was allowed to see you once every five years! If I was allowed to be there, I would have! Do you know how many times I tried to get the cops involved? Your mother hated Christina and when she found out about Scarlett being your sister she wouldn't let you near me! I would have been there if I could, and you have no idea how bad I want to kill my own brother because of what he did to you! Don't get all pissy with me Katniss Joy. It's your mother you need to be pissed at."
I grit my teeth. "You didn't think of going to court because of-"
"Katniss." He sighs loudly. "You were a kid. I was going to go to court, but you were closer with your mother. If I went to court she would've lost custody."
"Why did Ethan hate me so much?" I ask.
"This really isn't a conversation I want to be having over the phone with you." He says. "And your mother needs to be here. And Ethan."
"No."
"Do you think I'm going to let him touch you?"
"It doesn't matter. I'm not home and I can't afford to fly home."
"Then I'm coming to you."
"Haymitch," I warn.
"If that's okay."
Everyone starts nodding he's. "That's fine."
"Ok. Bye Sweetheart."
"Bye." I hang up.
I hear him sigh. Then he hangs up.
HAYMITCH'S POV
I hate the fact that I was not allowed to see my own daughter. Now she calls me Haymitch instead of Dad.
She doesn't understand how much I actually love her and care for her and wish she grew up with me, and that I was the one holding her hand as she took her first steps. I wish I was the one that took her to her first day of school. I wish I was there to threaten all the boys in her life.
I will make sure I do that to Peeta.
I wish I was the one that dropped her off at sleepovers and I was the one that held her when she had nightmares. I wish I was the one that was the father to my daughter.
And I just wish she would call me Dad.
I wish that I was the father that my daughter had needed all of her life.
And I wasn't.
KATNISS'S POV
I stare at my phone for a really long time after that.
"If you want to cry, that's okay." Johanna says. I look at her in surprise. She shrugs. "I've changed."
I get up and begin to pace. It's a very bad habit that I have when I'm stressed, I can't concentrate or I'm trying to wrap my head around something unbelievable.
"All my life I've wanted to have a father that cared about me. I was jealous of the girls at my school. I hated my life. I wanted a dad who held your hand in the parking lot and read me bedtime stories and took you to the store and told you he loved you and fought for you. I didn't have that, and now i'm finding out that it's my mothers fault." They're silent. "I fucking hate my life. Why does shit like this happen to me?"
They stay silent for a while. "I want to call him Dad. That's going to make him uncomfortable."
"I think it will make him happy." Peeta says.
"Can we change the subject please?" I ask.
"Okay." Johanna stands up and I sit down. "So...I met this guy." she says
"And?" I press.
"We fucked."
"Is that all?" Peeta asks.
"Yes." she sits down again.
...8...
When the doorbell rings the next morning, I practically refuse to get it. Peeta calmly informs me that I need to take care of myself and not put up any walls because I finally have a loving father and I need to let him in.
I open the door and don't say a word as I step aside to let my Uncle Ethan, my mother and father and sisters into the house.
"This is nice. Who's place is this?" Haymitch-Dad asks.
"Finn and Annie's." I mumble. I already took a shower and brushed my teeth and I'm in camouflage extremely skinny jeans and a black tank top. My hair is braided, too.
"They're here?" Prim's eyes light up.
"Yes."
"And Peeta and Johanna?" She voice gets more excited with every word.
"Yes." I smile.
"Shit." She says. "Is Peeta still really, really hot? How big are his biceps? If he has enough strength to put his hands on your ass and your legs on his shoulders, he can totally eat you ou-"
"Prim how about you shut the fuck up." I look down at Rosie, who is only six years old.
"Are his arms bigger or not?"
"Yes they are."
She licks her lips. "He's always been so damn hot-"
"Prim you realize he can hear every single word your saying right now?"
"I don't give two fucks. What about his abs?"
"Sexy." I mutter.
"I don't know what he sees in you. My boobs are much bigger."
"He doesn't like kids."
"I'm not a kid." She crosses her arms.
"Your not an adult either."
"Have you guys had sex yet? If you haven't, you two are gonna break up."
"Yes, we have."
"You have?" Mom asks.
"Can we change the subject please?"
"Fine. Is Finnick hot?"
I wrinkle my nose. "Finn's like a brother. He's not hot and he's not cute."
"Hey!" Finn shouts from upstairs.
"Well it's true!" I shout back.
I hear Peeta snicker. "Face it bro, she likes me better."
"Well I'm more appealing." Finn says.
"Are not." Peeta snaps.
"Yes I am! My dick is longer, right Annie?"
"The length of your fucking dick has nothing to do with how attractive you are." I go upstairs and the rest of my family follows me.
"Want to measure?" Finn undoes the button on his jeans and Peeta undoes his belt. Prim comes upstairs. Finn drops his jeans so he's in his boxers.
"Oh this is gonna be hot." Prim whispers.
Annie and Jo and I watch in shock.
Ethan, Mom, Rosie and Haymitch are behind me.
It's when Peeta's in his boxers that I step in and pull his pants back up.
"What are you doing? We're measuring our-"
"How long?" I look over my shoulder at Finn as I fasten the belt on Peeta's jeans.
"Eight." He crosses his arms.
I can't help it when I laugh. "Ann, I feel terrible for you."
"Like he's any bigger." Finn grumbles.
"How would you even know?" Haymitch asks me pointedly.
My hands freeze and I glance up at Peeta. "Just a guess." I lie.
"No, it's not a guess." He says.
"It doesn't matter. I'm twenty two-"
"Your too young!" He says.
"Well that just sucks for you. Maybe if you were there when I was a kid-"
"Katniss." Mom warns.
"No!" I stand up and whip around. I hear Peeta make a noise like he's trying to get something out of his mouth and I know I hit him with my hair. "Are you seriously going to tell me to calm down? You just don't understand!"
Peeta places his hand on my back. "Katniss." He whispers. "Remember what I told you."
"Don't understand what?" Prim asks. "Would someone please tell me why we're here?"
I stare at her. "You have got to be fucking kidding me. You didn't even tell her?"
"Tell me what?" She demands.
"You're my half sister, Ethan's my uncle."
"So who's your fucking Dad then?" she asks.
I gesture wildly to Haymitch.
She looks between the two of us. "Let's go to the beach, Rosie." She's escaping.
She takes our sisters hand and walks out of the house.
I can tell we are about to start this conversation.
Peeta kisses my cheek lovingly. "Are you guys hungry?"
"Yes." Finn says.
Slowly, everyone admits they are hungry. Peeta walks away.
I begin lacing, and I hear my Mother and Haymitch and Ethan all exhale, and then Finn and Annie and Johanna.
"We'll go..." Finn says.
"No you won't." I look at them. "You guys are staying."
When I pace, they know I'm trying to think and I'm trying to keep myself calm. I'm trying not to go bat shit crazy.
"I wanted to tell you. I wanted to be there." Haymitch says.
"Why weren't you?" I snap.
"Because I wasn't allowed to."
"I need an explanation before I lose my mind. Did you cheat on Ethan, Mom? How the hell do I have dark hair?"
"You have your Uncle's hair. It's one hundred percent positive that Haymitch is your father because we got blood tests when you were a kid and it was positive that Haymitch is your Dad."
"Were you ever even married to Scarlett's Mom?" I ask.
"Yes."
"Is Scarlett even your fucking kid?"
"Yes. She was sort of a one night stand. The girl got rid of her."
"So why were you an alcoholic? Mom why the hell couldn't he see me?"
"I was an alcoholic because I couldn't see you."
"Why couldn't you see me?"
"Okay." Mom sighs. "I was married to Ethan and I had..." She pauses and looks at my father. "Have a thing for Haymitch. He had a thing for me-"
"Have, actually."
Mom looks at Haymitch and Haymitch looks at her and they both smile.
"Okay, that's disgusting." I wrinkle my nose. "Can you wait until I'm out of the room?"
"Anyway," Mom says. "I like Haymitch more and I was in love with him. I cheated on Ethan. We thought you were Ethan's. We kept sneaking off to see each other. He was there when you said your first word. It was "Dada and you didn't say it to Ethan. I got pregnant with Prim when you were two. Then when you were four, the three of us started noticing that you weren't looking very much like Ethan. Your eyes where the exact same as Haymitch's. Your smile
Was mine, your nose was Haymitch's, your hair wasn't either of ours and your attitude was spot on. When we took you to get tested and it came back negative for Ethan, he was so angry that he started beating you. I was scared and I refused to let Haymitch near me or you. I was afraid he was going to hurt us."
"Are you fucking-"
"Katniss." Peeta cuts in. "You wanted the answers. She's giving them to you. You shouldn't be interrupting. You know I hate when you do that, and I guarantee they don't like it either."
I grit my teeth and glare at him. "You can't tell me what to do."
He's mildly smiles. "Hon, I'm just telling you what you should do. I'm not telling you to do it."
I sigh.
"I didn't let you see him at all. It was around every five years. Then we moved to California..." Mom sighs.
"I jumped on the opportunity to be around you. You were so clueless. You were unhappy until you met the four of them." He points at Jo, Finn, Ann and Peeta.
"We were actually going to move." mom says. "We were gonna move to Europe. But one day you came home and you were so happy and I could tell, I could just tell I couldn't take you away. I knew if I did I wouldn't break your heart, but Prim's and Haymitch's too."
"We were moving to Europe?" I whisper.
"Yes. Do you remember the day you and Peeta went to the beach?"
"When Scarlett tried to put me in that dress?"
"Yes. I was going to tell you that night but when he asked you..." She shakes her head. "I couldn't do it."
I let out a long breath.
I was moving to Europe? Haymitch is my Dad?
"If you loved Haymitch why'd you marry Ethan?"
She looks at Haymitch and at Ethan. "Don't kill me." She warns. I say nothing. "Because, in this family, we have arranged marriage."
It takes me a second.
I can't marry Peeta.