Flanella
Act XII: The Hanged Man Part I
"The Hanged Man represents self-sacrifice and dedication to a cause. It is the most mysterious and unsettling card in the Tarot deck. It symbolizes the action of paradox in our lives, something that appears contradictory, and yet is true."
–Tarot, Major Arcana
And when she let her eyes slid open, she found herself surrounded by softness and warmth. Flame Princess couldn't figure why all of a sudden she felt so comfortable, wherever she was. Moving her fingers, she recognized the mellowness of her bed and blankets. Was she back at home? Flame Princess sat up, scanning her surroundings attentively. Thick rock walls from the depths of the volcano that was the Fire Palace formed the familiar chamber. The air was fresh and the environment felt light and easy to breathe. In fact, it was rather colder than in the other rooms and hallways of the castle.
"This room…" Flame Princess quietly whispered, "Is this that special room? Why am I here?"
Her eyes freely explored the area, noticing a wide wardrobe, a fancy bureau and a tall mirror. The room that once was empty and poorly decorated was now fully equipped with elegant sets of furniture, carpets and cushions, among many other items that could offer more commodities to its occupants. Flame Princess was utterly confused, when exactly had she moved her bedroom to this chamber? She couldn't put a finger to it or on why she felt as if waking up with a bit of amnesia. Resting her throbbing forehead on a hand, the young woman turned her gaze to the other side of her bed.
She nearly fell out of it, gasping in astonishment.
There was a man sleeping deeply next to her. She slowly pulled her body back to its later position, examining the intruder. Hardened facial features, lost in peaceful rest denoted the roughness of the rest of his complexion, concealed beneath the crimson sheets. His solemn brow was covered by messy bangs of golden hair, offsetting the seriousness of his look. His broad shoulders, which followed the tranquil motion of his peach-colored chest, brought a blush upon her cheeks. She knew who that was, and he, responding to her startled awakening, opened his sea blue eyes with a lazy motion.
"Are you alright, FP?" he asked, rubbing a fist along his left eye.
For a moment Flame Princess felt that every word of her vocabulary had vanished. Her world had changed dramatically, or was it that she had gone insane? Then she remembered that she had just woken up, from a nightmare perhaps, she considered. This could possibly be one of those mornings when she woke up with no idea of what her life was supposed to be. Did that sound reasonable? Not at all, but she couldn't find any other explanation.
Nervous because of her growing silence, the man dared to speak once again. "FP, what's wrong?" The concern in his voice unsettled her thoughts.
Flame Princess faced him, trying to disguise her fear with a smile. "I-it's nothing, Finn. Nothing to worry about."
Her excuse wouldn't suffice him, of that she was sure. Escape. There was no other way. She had to escape from Finn and his comforting stare. Escape from the scent that enveloped his body and was still so vivid in her memories. That woody, mossy yet sensual aroma, which was a possible remain of his life within the antique grassland willow, was now pervading her bed and forcing her senses against her. It couldn't be real. With a quick stroke of her arm, Flame Princess removed the blankets that covered her legs and slipping on a night robe, she dashed to the first exit on sight.
Darn it, wrong door! She cursed, finding herself on a balcony. Her brain wasn't working properly and failed in driving her to the hallway. Frustrated, Flame Princess leaned on the balustrade, pinching the bridge of her nose. The idea of jumping and flying away was a tempting one until a pair of strong arms surrounded her waist.
Why is he here, why am I with him? What is this madness? Although attacking her weary mind with questions wasn't going to save her from succumbing to the tenderness of his embrace, Flame Princess couldn't stop struggling to free herself from the reality that she had so hastily addressed as an illusion. How can this be true? None of this is right. Finn and I can't be together like this! How could we ever…?
"Another nightmare?" Finn softly whispered in her ear.
She almost lost the support of her legs as her knees buckled at the touch of his lips, so dangerously close to her skin. If she weren't so confused she would have already slapped him for being this disrespectful. Though, the human didn't seem to be aware of her discomfort and mental struggle, leading him to behave intimately with the woman in his arms. She couldn't blame him for resting his chin on the crook of her neck, sending a jolt of electricity through her sensitive nerves, each time the raspy graze of a cheek in need of shaving groped her smooth skin. For glob's sake, she had no idea of in which terms their relationship was at the moment, however wonderful it felt to be his, she couldn't accept Finn's affection.
"I…" Flame Princess pushed an answer out, striving to remain stoic. "I'm not sure. The Fire Kingdom was being invaded, and I was trapped in Furnius' lair, unable to aid my people. And he had this weird black magic that he used to control my body and force me to crown him king and–!"
Suddenly, the memories of the horrible experiences Flame Princess thought she had lived only moments ago began to blur. Her explanation soon turned into misled words, and her words into unsure stutters.
"A-and you… you weren't there…" she uttered, "Why weren't you there, Finn? I-I can't…remember the reason. Was it because of… Flanella?"
"Flanella?" Finn wondered. His hands, which were now massaging her shoulders, descended slowly to her abdomen where his thumbs began to caress her bulky belly, up and down ever so sweetly. "Isn't that the name you are going to give to our child if it's born a girl?"
"If it's born?" Flame Princess gasped, falling in the realization that she was… pregnant. "We are going to have a child? You and me? B-but how? I thought, my elemental matrix it–! And you –you're human! Plus, we are not–we aren't supposed to be a couple! W-we broke up!"
Now it was Finn's turn to look confused, something that he promptly dismissed with a childish grin. "FP… that nightmare was worse than I thought. Maybe you are overdoing your job at ruling the kingdom; you worry too much about everything. I'm concerned about you, your health, and our baby…"
His embrace captivated her again, and she wasn't sure of what to believe anymore.
"You need to relax, FP, otherwise those nightmares won't stop coming." Finn placed his head on her shoulder, granting her a comforting smile. "Go back to sleep, it was just a nightmare you have to forget about. Now you need to rest."
"Was that a nightmare?" Flame Princess whispered, resting her hand on his cheek. "Or is this a dream?" she gently pulled the man before her into a kiss. "'Cause I know that only in a dream, I would be able to be with you in this…way."
Their lips barely entered in contact. For she had only been kissed once in all of her life, and that was all she was allowed to feel before her matrix exploded several years ago. The rest of the action, no matter how passionate, felt empty. It was fake, unreal and something disheartening to be aware of. Flame Princess stepped away from the illusion her mind had created. This Finn, although identical to the real one, couldn't be him.
"I'm sorry, I…" she apologized.
"No." Finn rebuked, "I'm the one who's sorry. I forgot you don't want me by your side anymore… You don't need me… What could I offer to you that your knight, Cinnamon Bun, can't? Nothing! I bet the baby in your womb isn't even mine! It's his, right? Of course it's his!"
"Wait, Finn! That's not–!"
Flame Princess restrained herself from stopping Finn as he stormed out of the room. She was letting her mind wreck havoc again, inducing her to confront a rebound of the man she had rejected eight years ago. The man her body and mind were screaming for, in search of solace and the certainty that everything would be fine, in search of a hero that would save her from her fatal fate and heal her wounds with his love and compassion. Such was her desolation and still, she would continue to fight against her desire.
Right, she didn't need him. She didn't want him near her, not anymore.
"That's not true… Flanella is not… Not Cinnamon Bun's, not yours, not mine. What is she? I don't know."
The world around her was dissolved into darkness as she fell on her knees, while covering her eyes. The next thing she felt was a deep prick of pain in her hands and chest. Flame Princess awoke, pinned to the wall. It was the nightmare… her reality. Her head hung down, eyes frozen to the ground. The weight of the guilt crushing her heart gave sense to her twisted dream. She knew she was going to die there, without ever explaining Finn the truth, without watching her little Flanella grow, her kingdom ruled by a new powerful tyrant…
Would the world end for her here, trapped in a dark pit with solitude all around? Flame Princess gripped her fists, attempting to oppose the curse that held her onto the wall. Even if there were no real nails to keep her attached to the cold rock surface, her struggle only earned her more pain and caused new blood to drip out of her open wounds.
"I can't give up!" she repeated desperately, "Flanella needs me, my kingdom needs me!"
Her movements became aggressive, impulsive and irrational, all to no avail. Seeing that her energies were wasted in vain and that she had been suffering for nothing, an outburst of anger caused the blood in her veins to boil. Flame Princess manifested her contained emotions, setting them free in an enraged scream. An intense gush of fire accompanied the dire sound of her helpless roar as it hit the ceiling, bringing a rain of debris upon her.
Out of breath, Flame Princess' head fell back to its submissive position. A wheeze of smoke escaped from her mouth as she gasped for air, huffing and puffing abstractedly and out of herself. When she dared to peer into the darkness before her, she was surprised to find the image of Finn standing in front of her. The fiery woman blurted a chuckle as she sensed him approaching her.
"You aren't real… I'm hallucinating, I know I'm growing delirious…"
The young man nodded, his form blurring out as his image adopted the figure of a new character. The ample pastry complexion of Cinnamon Bun was now smiling softly at her.
"CB, why are you the last person to behold what's left of this uncrowned king?" she sighed, tears streaming down her face. "I have failed you, everything you sacrificed for me was worth nothing… I knew we would lose this fight since it began…"
Flame Princess glanced at the illusion once more, just to notice that it had faded. Reminiscing of Cinnamon Bun brought back unwanted memories, visions of the events that took place only months ago, of how it all began. She saw herself pacing back and forth in her private quarters, a frown upon her distressed brow. There was a knock on the door and after she granted him permission to enter, Cinnamon Bun stepped in. Flame Princess confronted him immediately.
"How could you do this to me?!" she yelled, "How could you tell Furnius that I would proceed in agreement with the requirements of the royal law?! I thought you knew how I felt about marriage! I thought you knew I'm not ready to carry out something like this! Don't you see that I'm still struggling with–!"
Cinnamon Bun captured her hands in his, forcing the young king to listen. "Of course I know you are against this! But you must understand, the other alternative to face this conflict is through war and you wouldn't drag your people into battle when there's still a way to avoid it, would you?"
Flame Princess freed herself with a harsh movement of her arms. "No. That would be selfish of me… It's just that I'm…" she averted her eyes from his, "I'm not ready yet… I was hoping he would…"
The pastry's features softened in understanding. "I know, you still have hopes on him. And because I want your wishes to come true, I've been okay with giving him time to change and let experience prepare him for a responsibility of this magnitude…" he held her chin up gently, revealing the gathering tears in her golden eyes. "However, seven years have passed and from what I've observed, no matter how wise he's grown, Finn is not fitted to rule a kingdom by your side… and probably he'll never be. You see, Finn is an adventurer, a free spirit. He doesn't belong here."
Flame Princess collapsed in his arms, crying. "Are you telling me that we were never meant to be together, even after he dared to defy nature for me? That I will have to marry some jerk and have his children in the name of my kingdom? Is this how my life's gonna be?"
Cinnamon Bun hugged her, hoping to comfort her. "I'm sorry, your highness… I swear, if there was something I could do in your favor… anything… I would do it no matter the cost."
Days after that hurtful event, she and Cinnamon Bun had agreed to fake an engagement between them. For it would be better for Flame Princess to be espoused with her knight than with any other suitor that could harm her integrity. Lies they had to tell many, even going against her own law, Flame Princess was determined to sacrifice her ideals of truth for the sake of her people and the man she loved, hoping that she could still reserve herself for him. Every odd against her and the human meant nothing to her, she liked to believe that true love never died.
But the time came when the act of being married wasn't enough to keep the enemy away from her kingdom. What use did a marriage have if it wasn't fulfilled? Where was the proof of its consummation? That was when Flame Princess felt about to lose her mind. It was too much for her to bear, and knowing that she had placed herself between the sword and the wall, with no escape, made it all so much worse. Cinnamon Bun however, much to her intrigue, remained composed and confident before the situation. And she was bound to trust him, trust that he would find a way to make the consequences of her reckless choices more tolerable.
"No one will believe us if you don't go through all the stages of pregnancy and labor…" her knight stated on one of those anguishing nights. They were forced to share the intimacy of a bedroom now, though Cinnamon Bun was always respectful towards his king and her personal space.
"I know that." She firmly replied. The nervousness was visible in her expression and in her never-ending back and forth pacing across the room. It was as explicit as her discomfort and fear.
"There's no trick that we can pull to fake that! This is it! You'd have to…to do it." Flame Princess' voice quivered in the verge of tears, "It will be safe… I don't think my elemental matrix will react since I… I don't feel anything for you…"
"I won't." Cinnamon Bun declared, frowning as if he had been offended by her desperate words. "I swore I wouldn't lay a finger on you, I won't betray my knighthood vow. My love for you impedes me from doing so…"
"Then how are we going to–? What is there for us to carry out something like this without actually touching? Cinnamon Bun, please tell me! What are we going to do then?"
Her knight rested his hands on her shoulders, squeezing them tightly. His eyes locked on hers. "Just trust me. Trust that I'll make sure everything goes fine, there's nothing to fear… Now please, take some rest while I work on a solution."
Since then, Flame Princess spent many sleepless nights tormented by insomnia, while Cinnamon Bun went missing for countless hours. It was always the same, he would leave late after the fall of dusk, and he wouldn't return until the first rays of dawn lighted his side of the bed. Then, she would hear his footsteps entering the room, and she would tremble in anticipation —fearing he would have changed his mind— as she felt his weight lay down next to her. He kept his noble promise though, and never dared to disrespect her wish to remain pure.
x~x~x~x~x
The Flame General gave an unfriendly stare to the human as he helped him get on top of Jake 2's back. Having wrapped his injured arms with the few bandages that he had left in his bag, Finn prepared Flame Princess' brother to depart to safety. He trusted that Cinnamon Bun's hound would take him to a place where his wounds would be treated properly. The fire wolf could only stare at the human in worry while this one fashioned a sort of reins with a rope, something that would help the general secure himself during the ride.
Emitting a concerned groan, Jake 2 nuzzled Finn's stomach, eagerly pushing him back. The Flame General noticed this and as he was aware of the human's reckless plan to save his sister, he chose to ignore his pride and irritation to ask him about it.
"Why the sudden urge to run to her side? I thought you wouldn't care about my sister anymore, not after reading that letter at least. What changed?"
Finn ceased the work on his humble crafting and sighed, turning his glance away from the fire elemental. "It was more of a change of heart. With all respect, I realized that I do love Flame Princess more than I fear not being corresponded by her. I guess my faith in her weakened a bit back there, but I found the courage to confront her and Cinnamon Bun."
Finn tied a tight knot and placed the rein on the general's hand. "I read the letter, and I don't regret doing so." he calmly declared, "Now I know I've been wrong this whole time. I have to reach Flame Princess' side and mend the damage I've done to her. Besides, the king has to be rescued."
"What did that letter say exactly?"
Flame Princess' brother appeared more worried than curious about the subject, yet Finn chose to keep the contents of Cinnamon Bun's message to himself. "That's kinda personal, you know. Besides, there's no time for me to explain, we both need to leave now."
"You insolent brat, how come I'm letting you get away with this?" he snorted in indignation.
A smirk grew about Finn's face. "Maybe because I'm the only hope you have to get out of this one alive, don't you think so?"
With that he walked away from the fire wolf, ordering it with a potent command to take off immediately. Jake 2 obeyed, propelling its large body into the air along with the angry general.
"Forget about dating my sister ever again, you hear me?!" Finn heard him yell, to what he replied with a silent chuckle.
The hero's enthusiasm wasn't that exuberant in reality. He had to march towards his own doom, according to what he had planned. It didn't depend on him if he was allowed to live or not after falling into the stone warriors' grasp. In fact he had no idea if they were keeping war prisoners. Finn could only hope they did.
Gulping at this, the hero turned his marching into a sprint, his speed being affected by the graveness of his wounds. At least there was something else haunting the back of his mind, and it was helping him avoid dwelling too much in the physical pain he felt: Cinnamon Bun's letter. Everything about Flanella was explained in detail in that piece of paper; how she came to be, why, and the means he used to achieve it. Some of the things Cinnamon Bun mentioned there caused Finn to feel a bump in his throat out of anxiety, mostly Flame Princess' feelings throughout the process.
Flame Princess, she was always so distraught about you. Remember when you asked me if she ever talked about you? The truth is, she did. And actually, sometimes it was pretty annoying, if you let me tell you so. There was this one time when she asked me if you liked jasmine tea or softer infusions like chamomile. How the Bjork did she expect me to know the answer to that is still beyond me.
Finn laughed softly, thinking of that. It made him wonder what other things Flame Princess tended to ask or say whenever she talked about him. Why did she choose to avoid him if she still cared for him then? She said they could still be friends once, so what made her change her mind. The answer was right there, in Cinnamon Bun's writing.
The things I had to do to help her face this whole conflict… Even in her adulthood Flame Princess was still severely infatuated with you. She didn't want another man in her life, if it wasn't you. And she didn't want you either. Confused? Yeah, me too. She constantly spoke about a childish dream of hers. Finn, is it true that you once promised her that you two would form your own family, just like Jake and Lady Rainicorn did?
It had been nearly nine years ago, but Finn clearly remembered what in those days of youth wasn't more than a silly promise. Something he thought every couple eventually achieved, just like Jake once explained to him. He never really understood what that meant back then, not even when he spoke to his naïve girlfriend about those things, unconsciously filling her head with dreams. What could he know? He was just a boy. None of that seemed of importance to him, but perhaps, it might have been important to Flame Princess. Girls were so much different than guys…
Even now as grown man, the idea of becoming a parent was absolutely overwhelming. Finn knew he loved Flame Princess and Flanella with all of his heart, but was he suited to carry out such a task? The tension built up within him as he bit his lower lip, stressed. Doubting of his skills was easy when he took into consideration that his true father wasn't there for him as a child —a boom boomed baby boy, raised by dogs. Brave, honorable dogs just like his brother yes, but they died when he was still too young to learn anything about parenting. Marceline herself said he sucked at changing diapers. If he couldn't do that, how was he supposed to raise a little princess?
"Jeez, Finn! Dude, you gotta keep it together and focus on the mission ahead!" he shouted to himself, pulling the ears of his bear hat down. "No need to worry about daddy issues again! Not yet at least…"
I'm sorry. It was me who got both of you into this. Even when I still consider that you are not qualified to be Flame Princess' mate, I had no choice but to involve your life in hers. Perhaps you two could learn together, figure this new experience out by yourselves, helping each other. And who knows, maybe the spark in your hearts could blossom again, right? If that makes Flame Princess happy, it doesn't really matter if you're prepared for it or not. But you gotta work hard for it, Finn.
Yeah… With that hope within me I set out to find a way to grant her highness what she needed and wanted with all her heart: a child of yours. You won't believe everything I had to go through to bring Flanella into your lives, and Flame Princess herself doesn't know half of it. I can only hope it was all worth the struggle, because you on the other hand, will have to learn how it happened. It's your responsibility to let her know or not the whole truth.
If you want to live this with her, then by all means you must tell her that Flanella is yours.
Please don't disappoint me, Finn.
Stay tuned for Flanella's origin on the next part of this chapter. See you guys soon!